Konosuba Fanfic: Painful Rom-Com School Life
by Sheitfuck
Summary: What was inherent in the Konosuba party? Pain. The catastrophic goddess, the Kim Jong Un's long lost daughter, the maniac of a meatbag, and the equalist asshole, coupled with the forgetful goddess of fortune, the pre-turned litch, the short-tempered writer, and the predestined loner...this is a story of their painful rom-com school Life.
1. Prologue VS3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or settings.**

**Warning: Despite the rating M, the story contains no sex and have no intention to ever include one.  
**

* * *

My hands trembled. The Headgear in my palms quivered along. Eating a spaghetti was a bad idea because my stomach grumbled for the number two.

"_Hahhh, hoooo,"_ I breathed.

Calm down, Kazuma. Calm down. Even though it's the first and the last attempt you will ever get, you have to calm down. Sigh, still nervous eh? You sure are a piece of work. Look. No, don't look at the Headgear. Look at your desk. Yes, look at the mountains. Go rest your palms on them.

I obeyed my mind and rested my palms on two breast mousepads.

"_Hah~_"

Thank you Chichi chan and Chikubi chan. I am now ready.

I took my hands off of Chichi chan and Chikubi chan, and held the Headgear. It slid onto my head with ease. As their comforting touch were still fresh, I activated the game.

* * *

"Ah, you're here! Why are you late!?"

As I felt the sense of floating, I opened my eyes. A cute girl with short, silver hair shot glares at me. Her purple eyes were filled with impatience.

"Sorry Chris. I…"

Her eyes turned jovial, and she said, "Hehe, just kidding! I just came as well."

I snorted at her prank.

Chris the Quicksilver. It's the title she received once she became one of the top rankers of the world's first VRMMO, The New World. She was equipped with mithril armor and a huge lance. They were all legendary artifacts everyone would drool over.

"What are you talking about? He's really late."

Surprised, I turned to the man. Brown hair on a handsome face; his brows were knitted together as his brown eyes stared at me through the opened visor.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I waited for you for a good twenty minutes."

"Klin, don't be so blunt." said Chris. "Besides, I really just came!"

Palm on face, he said, "Yeah you too. You're late too."

Klin, a knight in shining armor, our dependable shield. His plates were made of adamantites, the hardest of steel. His towering shield never fell, and his mace was unstoppable. His unwavering stature was the source of our unyielding spirit.

"Geez, don't be so stiff-necked about it," said Chris. "Take example of Emilia. She seems ok with a bit of tardiness."

We turned to our last party member. Redhead. Yes, she was a redhead. She was a symbol of bad luck and misfortune…it is for me, at least. She wore tight, black robe and a witch hat that matched very well with her hair. She held the staff, Macae. The rod was made out of Yggdrasil and the core out of a dragon's heart. She was capable of summoning the strongest of spell. Despite it, she was not well known due to her distaste of publicity.

As she received our stares, she turned to look at me with an unconcerned face, and I hurriedly escaped her eyes. Months of partying together wasn't enough to get me used to her.

"What are you talking about? You can see the annoyance in her eyes."

"Are you serious? Look at her lips, she is smiling."

Huh? All I saw was a stone face.

"Let's…go?"

"See? She's demanding to go. She's clearly tired of waiting."

"No…s-she just doesn't want to see us argue."

…I stared at Chris as did Klin. Chris refused to meet our eyes as she whistled.

"Sigh…heh," Klin chuckeld. "Anyone still need briefing?"

Chris and I looked at each other and giggled. We both shook our head.

He closed his visor and said, "Well then, let's go."

We turned to the ornate door. There was nothing in this stone cave but the marble slab. It stood tall with great splendor. As we came close, slowly, the door slid open. The grating noise reverberated throughout the cave as a wall of light was revealed. We went past the light, and the world changed.

*RUMBLE*

The thunders drummed my ears; the air heated my nostrils; the dark clouds poured down the ash; and the knight stood in the distance. Armored to the teeth, he was covered in pitch-black plates. His height of ten meters was enough to bate our breath.

"_Gulp."_

One chance…I've got only one chance…_Hahh, hooo._ Calm down, Kazuma. Stop trembling. You might hit your teammate if you tremble so muc- ARGH!

I glared at Chris, who just slapped my back.

"Relax, relax. I will make sure to protect you from any danger!" Chris showed off her sorry excuse of a biceps.

"Psh, who will protect who?" said Klin. "Just don't bother me too much." He went past us as he tapped our shoulders.

Wings stretched out of Chris' back-plate. The wings flapped, and she took to the air.

"Katou," said Chris. "Make sure not to hit the wrong person."

"You asking me? The best archer of the land? You're worrying too much."

Chris smiled and took height.

Klin stood on vanguard while Chris kept rising into the clouds. As I watched her rise, I felt the atmosphere change. I didn't bother to look for I knew it was Emilia. She must be chanting in silence, causing the air to tremble.

The black knight, the Demon King, raised his sword. Its length was two-third of his height. Flames erupted out of the blade.

"_Hahp."_

Holding my breath, I pulled the string, and the arrow was aimed at the black knight.

We've got only one chance but a chance I get to share with the best team…my best friends.

I released the string. The arrow flew straight to the Demon's helmet. Before it hit, my team took action. Klin ran up to the Demon; Chris fell from the clouds; and Emilia finished her chant.

Perfect. Everything is going according to plan. Now, Emilia will cast a spell to freeze the Demon King. Then, Klin and Chris will whoop his ass!

"[Explosion]!"

Explosion? Well, things don't always go according to plan. The flames may nullify any freezing magic.

*BOOOOM*

Nice! The explosion devoured Klin. Wait, it devoured who? Anyway! Look at Chris, she lost control of her flight in the ensuing storm! And fell to her death! All according to plan! Now, I will provide support fire for the dead Klin and Chris...

...

...AS IF!

W-W-W-What the actual flipping fuck!?

No amount of denial was capable of altering the situation. So I proceeded to the next stage. Glares ready, spit ready, and tongue ready, I turned to the culprit to barrage her with debilitating insults.

"Emilia…," my voice that started strong trailed off.

Why are you smiling? Why do you look so pleased? Y-You just killed off our teammat-

Emilia peered into me; her golden eyes were in a stir. They glowed in absolute fervor. Her twisted lips warped even further. And my spine was rocked in shivers...

"S-S-Stay away! D-Don't come near me!"

My screams fell on deaf ears. She hobbled, but each step were filled with undeniable will...the will to devour me.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEekk?"

The flames consumed Emilia...yippie! Oh wait-

The Demon's foot stood before me. Before I could even see its helmet, my vision fell and caught sight of my headless body. It was the last thing I saw before the world turned dark.

* * *

"FUCKING SHIT!"

I let out what was in my heart. Realizing that it was still dark, I screamed further into my pillow.

"_MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM."_

It took a while to calm myself.

"Redheads…of course, it's the redhead! They're all crazy!"

As I heaved without cease, my eyes landed on the clock. It was five. For a peace of mind, I went to the desk.

"_Hooooooo."_

Thank you Chichi chan and Chikubi chan.

Sigh, that's it. Stop thinking about it. My hair might bleed if I hold it in any longer. Let's just go buy the game.

I trudged through the mess and got my bag. Before leaving, my eyes surveyed the room. Stacked up anime goods, junks and cup noodles, and the wardrobe that contained my long-unused school uniform…I was reminded of the reality.

I creeped through the corridor and down the stairs. The fresh air greeted me as I left the house. After breathing a relief, I went to the bus station. Walking down the aisle of farms, the Sun rose in the distance. The light revealed the farmers tending to their crops.

I wonder, will I ever get my life back on track? Look at them, they work hard at this hour. Yet, here I am out for games…but what's the point? Sure, I may go back to school and study nonstop. Then, what? Become a corporate slave? If I were to die in the end, why not just do what I want?

The disappointments of my family flashed in my head. I shook it off as I reached the station. Soon, the bus arrived. I went inside and took one of the plenty seats. My eyes caught onto the peach sky, but they refused to see it the second time. Not because it was too bright, but because it was too dark. The bus carried me away as I took no notice of the storm that would shake my life upside down.

* * *

**Author's Note****:** This is actually the third rewrite. The first was my virgin work, and the second was too long (8.4k words...wow, I even spent a whole month on it). I think this prologue encaptures the vibe of this story very well. So yeah, welcome aboard and sail forth without cease!

**P.S. **Constructive criticisms are always welcomed. But of course, praises of my works are even more welcomed. If you shit talk without a good reason, I will include you into the story and ran you over with a tractor.

* * *

**Notice: **The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.


	2. Chapter 1 Bless the Fool with Freedom

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

The blooming sun sat atop the sky, raining its petals upon the world. A bunch of paddy fields are illuminated, glittering in the beauty of the sun. A gentle breeze sweeps the fields, carrying with it the smell of soil and fully grown rice, which eventually reached my face who sat on a bus. I tried to enjoy the smell of natu-

"It reeks!" I exclaimed as I pressed my nose in an attempt to block the foul odor.

Damn, the smell of manure is too much for me!

Nevertheless, it sure is peaceful. Quite different from the city with all its noises. Five hours of waiting in line while hearing the horns of cars, the clamors of stores, and especially, the hubbubs of people who are headed towards their workplace or school can be quite weary.

After enjoying the scene for a while, the bus stopped and I got off the bus only to be greeted by the stinging rays of the sun.

"Urk!" I reacted as I blocked the sun with my hand as it was too much for my eyes which pulled off three all nighters in a row.

I hurried home excitedly unwilling to wait any longer to play the new game. However, my excited steps came to a halt. It can't be helped though as there were two other-worldly beauties walking toward me. Even a non-believer like me has to admit in the existence of God. There had to be one! Nothing else can explain their existence! No idols could compare to them, not from my country nor from my neighboring country.

I couldn't help but stand there stupefied, staring into their unique features. Milky white skin, silky long blue and white hair, and two pairs of blue eyes dazzling like a sapphire, which suddenly turned toward me as they noticed my stare. I was conflicted whether I should escape their eyes or stare into them but my decision was swift as I turned my head to the side and began walking as if nothing happened. I tried my best to walk as smooth as possible as we passed by each other. However, it only made me look awkward.

Then, I saw it, the smug grin plastered over the face of the blue haired beauty. I was shocked but I immediately discarded the reality before me as hallucination. After all, I had to stand for five hours in this steaming heat after three all nighters.

Must have been the wind.

They must be around my age but I wonder what school they attend. I never saw those exquisite uniforms before. I turned around to catch the last glimpse of their beauty. However, I was immediately alarmed by the huge silhouette fast approaching.

"Watch out! The truck's gonna!" I shouted as I ran up to them and pushed them to the side.

Why'd I pick the day of all days to play hero?

As I saw the large silhouette closing in, as my belongings fluttered in the air, and as I was falling to the ground, I closed my eyes while praying to God that somehow...they would be saved. Eventually, I fell to the ground and waited for my impending doom. I waited and waited and wai-

"Hey, why are you lying down there in the middle of the road? Is this planking? That meme is outdated. You should try T-pose instead," I heard something ridiculous unbefitting of the beautiful voice.

I raised my head only to be stupefied once more as I saw the beauty doing a T-pose, who uniquely tied a part of her long blue hair into a circle and letting the rest drape down her back.

"What about the truck?" I asked turning my head to the silhouette only to be despaired by its sight. Hiroshima is that you?

"Truck? What do you mean truck? There is only a tractor beside us-," the beauty stopped in the middle as if in realization.

"Don't tell me…pfft!" what followed was the laughter of the woman before me.

She just stood there laughing, slightly crouching, holding her stomach. She couldn't contain it so she let it all out, laughing her heart out!

"You thought it was a truck but it's a tractor! You thought you were saving us but no it's just a tractor! You thought you were heroic but you were just needlessly throwing yourself against a tractor!" the woman said while holding back her laughter.

"No! Shut up! Lalalala, I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear it!" I said as I pressed my hands against my ears in order to block the truth. Suddenly-

*HONK HONK*

"Get out you two! You brats are blocking the path!" demanded the impatient driver.

""Sorry! We will get out now,"" we both offered our apology as we went to the side.

After the tractor passed by, the asshole began laughing again.

"Sorry. I know you meant well but it was just too ridiculous! _Teeheehee_," she said as she began to laugh again.

I just stood there, boiling in anger.

"Hah, there is nothing like laughter to start one's day," she sighed as she finally stopped laughing.

Damn her! I tried to save you…even though it was unnecessary and ultimately made me a fool but I still did! You ungrateful piece of-

"Are you ok?" the white haired lady approached me with a concerned look.

"You are hurt," the beauty said while caressing my cheek with scratches.

"I'm sorry for her ill-manner but she didn't mean poorly," the beauty made an excuse in a calming voice.

"Thank you, err…" she thanked me, the fool, while trailing off.

"M-my name is Kazuma, S-Satou Kazuma," oh man, I sound like a dork!

"I see. My name is Eris, Eris Theos," said Eris.

"Again, thank you Kazuma. Even though it turned out as it did, you meant well and threw yourself to save us even though it could lead to your demise," said the beauty as she gave me a beautiful smile.

What is this? Who is she? Oh right, Eris. I felt my eyeballs about to drop manly tears for her kindness and gratefulness and…I felt my heartbeat rising up. Oh crap, is this love!?

"Hey Eris, you don't need to give your name to a NEET like him. Unless he offers a sake of course. Let's go or we will be late," said the bitch as she began walking away.

I really wanted to retort but any lie in this school hour would sound unconvincing.

"Aqua…," said Eris with an awkward smile.

So, her damn name is Aqua huh? These two must be foreigners to have names like these.

"Farewell Kazuma," Eris bowed and began catching up to Aqua.

"Farewell," I said as I saw her off into the horizon in an attempt to embed her image.

* * *

I reached home and went to my room immediately. I didn't turn on my PC but jumped onto my bed holding my cheek where Eris touched. I must be grinning so creepily right now…but who cares!

"She sure was a kind girl," I said while blushing in the kind words of Eris.

"She sure was a bitch," I said while boiling in the laughter of Aqua.

I don't even have the strength to play the new game. This is definitely due to that bitch…and also, thanks to Eris. I wonder if I could meet her again? Even if I have to meet that bitch too…well, love always prevails.

I felt my eyelids growing heavy. I'm sleepy...Usually, I would still have the strength to go on but I guess the trac- truck incident was too much for me. My mind slowly drifted into slumber.

* * *

With a single glance at the sky, one would notice the setting sun as it towered over the mountain on the horizon. The cherry blossom that welcomed us one week ago for the start of our second year of high school, still emphasized her color despite the sun's painting. I waited for my childhood friend...more like engaged, though it's a kiddie promise, who is also my girl-friend, not girlfriend...yet. However, for some odd reason, she didn't show up. She must be busy with her club activities. However, as I came out of the entrance, I saw her walking toward the gate.

She is quite a beauty. She has a rather modest body but her looks are quite mature. To top it all off, she is a red head. It must have been her mother as she is from Scotland. I saw in awe as she blended well into the sunset, her hair harmonizing with the orange shade. I called out to he-

Who's that man? Gold-bleached hair and tanned skin, why is that trash so up close with her!? Hey Yami, why are you riding his motor? Why are you hugging his chest while leaning on his back?

Myriad of questions filled my head as I began to panic. She then noticed my presence and her head turned toward me. I couldn't make out what she was saying due to the engine's noises nor what expression she had on her face as she was overshadowed by the sun behind her. They then began driving forward, eloping into the sunset.

My world was demolished and I felt my heart grow cold. It was then that I began cutting classes. One day became two, two became a week, a week into a month. It was as if I was falling through an eternal abyss. Four months passed when I came to my senses, I already hit rock bottom when I realized my mistake. At this point, it would be unlikely for me to catch up nor do I want to. In the end, it's just my life. I may as well rot in this hell for good.

As I lay there unmoving, suddenly, a shimmering light descended from above amidst the darkness. Upon closer look, it was Eris. She was holding out her hand toward me and she looked at me as if beckoning me to grab it. I hesitated. If I grabbed this hand, then, I have to clean my room. I had to fight my way out of this chaotic despair. I was simply afraid, frightened before the mountain. However, when I saw her smile, I felt a heat course through my body, strengthening me, giving courage to my heart.

I looked around once more, it was the memories I shared with Yami, my supposed future bride. They were once beautiful and I would find delight in their display. However, when the sun set, it all became hideous miseries tormenting me endlessly.

I looked at her encouraging smile once more. She was out of place, the only beam of light in this darkness, the only entity that wasn't a torn to my side. Then I saw her hand still stretched out to me. What is this? Who is this? Oh, she is Eris. I began shedding tears which only made her panic. I felt a warm in my heart, melting the chains that has locked me here since that day. I looked at her face again without bothering to cover my tearful face.

I reached out to her panicking hand and grabbed it. She was stupefied. Hah! Gotcha. Then, she gave me the sweetest smile I ever saw. I was stunned, unable to look away. Unbeknownst to me, the lingering chains shattered along with the tormenting darkness. Now, filled with bright light, I felt hope and courage coursing through my veins and I found delight in her smile.

What are you? Who are you? Oh, you're Eris. Her smile was beautiful and lovely. I felt my heartbeat rising up. Snap, is this love!? Suddenly-

"Whoa!" I shouted as I was pushed away from Eris.

"NEET! Someone like you do not deserve to touch her hand. If you so desire, bring me a sake then I might allow it," said a certain woman.

I recognize that voice…it's her! It's a dog! No it's a plane! No she's a bitch! I can't believe she is saying something ridiculous while doing a T-pose! Immediately, the world eroded and my mind began waking up.

* * *

"Gasp!" I breathed as my eyes suddenly opened.

"Oh it's just a dream," I said while my dream was still fresh.

This is called love at first sight isn't it? I wondered as I held my chest which contained my heart that beat so fast and so loud. I had to wait a long time to calm it down.

"She is really a bitch huh? She came even to my dream to bite me," I voiced my thought on Aqua.

I then shifted my gaze to the clock which indicated that it was 5:00 AM. Then, I looked around my room. Stacked up anime goods, littered junks and cup noodles, and the wardrobe that contains my long unused school uniform. Finally, I looked at the newly bought game. I stood up and walked toward it. I held the case and opened it. Inside was a manual and a CD. I stared long into the CD until I closed the case and shoved it into the shelf. After which, I began cleaning the room.

* * *

My family was shocked when they saw me show up in the morning table dressed in my high school uniform. I couldn't complain. It has been so long since I showed up like this. They stood from their chairs, stunned then stared at me. I awkwardly searched for my chair which was casted to the side to hold the rice cooker. I put away the cooker and placed my chair against the table and sat on it. My insensitive family was still standing there gawking at me. Seriously, can't they stop it already?

"Umm, let's eat?" I asked, trying to ease the awkward atmosphere.

It was no use as they still stood there dumbfounded. I began calling out to them to no avail until I shouted,

"What's wrong with you all!? I will be late if we take any longer!"

My father came to his senses as he asked,

"L-Late for what?"

My face went down in shame and embarrassment of what I was going to say.

"I-I'm going to school. S-so please give me my food already," I said while looking away, feeling embarrassed.

What was returned was silence and I was too afraid and too ashamed to look at their faces. After all, I just shamefully barged into the table after so long. I just sat there head down, waiting for their answers.

Suddenly, I heard a droplet. I looked up to see where it came from. Then, to my shock, I found my stern father covering his face, crying. I never saw my father crying nor have I ever thought that he would but here he was crying before me. I was dumbfounded. However, it was just the beginning as I heard more sobbing. My mother, who ignored me, had a wretched face as she cried out. My brother, who paid me disrespect, cried the loudest with his snotty nose. Once again, I felt heat course through my body, especially in my heart and my face as I began crying with them. We cried our hearts out until we came to a stop.

It was awkward. I didn't know what to say nor did they know what to say. We just ate our food silently. Not wanting to end it like this, I stood up and gave them a full bow,

"Father, mother, and Kazuto I am sorry for all the troubles I caused. I swear I will make up for it! I know I don't have the right to say this but please be patient with me until then."

As I was offering my apology, I felt a touch on my shoulder. It was my mother, who then, held me up and hugged me.

"What took you so long!? Why couldn't you apologize much sooner!?" she exclaimed while sobbing.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry...," I couldn't do anything but apologize while tearing up along with her.

"Kazuma, I cannot accept your apology until you make up for what you lost- _hic!"_ my father said unconvincingly as he sobbed there while turning his head to a dangerous degree to not show his tears.

"Brother, I won't forgive you until you get yourself a girlfriend. I need an older sister to show me affection! _Sniiff!"_ my brother said while pulling his mucus to not let it reach his mouth.

Although, technically, I wasn't forgiven, I felt peace after so long. After a long hug and unending tears, we resumed our breakfast even though it became awkward again right after. My father was the first to go as he hurriedly left as if running away from his unsightly display. My brother was next as he had morning training for his baseball. He left brimming with smile while saying his good bye to me. Following his leave, I stood up as it was my turn.

"Kazuma," my mother called out to me.

"I forgive you," she said as she smiled.

"I know," I said smiling back.

I turned around and began walking toward the door. Then, I stopped. I felt scared to face the world that I grew so detached from. However, a smile flashed in my mind. I then laughed for being so scared of such petty reason. I opened the door only to be greeted by the stinging rays of the sun. Only this time, I didn't block the sun. I had a good sleep after all. As I walked toward the bus station, the fear that filled me was replaced with hope and excitement for the new beginning of my school life!

As I walked toward the bus station, the fear that filled me was replaced with hope and excitement for the new beginning of my school life!

Heh, that line was great. I ought to repeat it mo-

Suddenly, I heard a scratching noise along with the alarming horns. I turned to the side only to find a truck.., a real truck! Speeding toward me!

"WHY ARE YOU HERE NO-" before I could even finish, I was struck by the truck, flying away.

* * *

"Gasp!"

My eyes shut open and I quickly raised my torso.

I sighed in relief as my death was just a dream but-

"Oh crap. Oh man…" I said in disbelief as I held my head with both hands.

"It was all just a dream? That was all just a dream!?" I raised my voice in confusion.

I looked around my room. Stacked up anime goods, littered junks and cup noodles, and the wardrobe that contains my long unused school uniform. Lastly, the newly bought game was still on my desk.

Yup, nothing's changed.

I began feeling sick and cold sweat drenched my back.

"How can this be possible!?" I complained at such a bizarre dream.

"What happened to our reconciliation? Is Eris even real? Is that weird ass girl also just an imagination? It has to be. A beauty like her cannot exist. An ass like her must not exist!"

After a long contemplation, I stood up and walked toward the newly bought game. I held the case and opened it. Inside was a manual and a CD. I stared long into the CD until I took it and shoved it into the PC. I sat down and began my first playthrough.

I mean what can I do? I'm a NEET after all. How can a NEET like me be reformed just after meeting the beauty and the bitch? Be it real or not.

I just sat there enjoying my new game, indulging myself into the escapism of short term…I mean long term stimulus. It's ToSoftware's game after all.

Someone may ask, 'why don't you do it again?'

Welp, try confessing to your crush only to hear,

"Eh? Nandatte!?"

Yup, nothing can be more soul-crushing than your soulful confession to be unheard.

Oh, I died. Hello Ms. You-died. Whoops, never mind. Hello, Mr. Shi. After a couple more meetings with the mister, I got hungry. I looked at the clock and saw it's 5:00 PM.

Gotta get some food before dad arrives home.

I stood up and wore my tracksuit to visit a nearby convenience store. I went out of my room and passed by my brother's room.

Immediately, my brother gave me a nasty glance.

Yup, this is reality.

I went down the stairs and passed by the kitchen.

My mom didn't even bother to give me any attention even though I made sure my steps were loud.

Hahaha, this is reality.

Holding the tears for losing what I didn't earn, I went out the house and went toward the store.

* * *

"Thank you for your patronage!"

I went out the store as I heard the cashier's usual thanks.

"Sigh"

I began walking home while staring at the sunset. I would usually irk at the sight of it since it reminded me of that day. Now, I'm just enjoying the view like I used to. I guess the dream wasn't so useless after all.

I soon came to a park.

If I remember correctly, this is where I met my childhood friend for the first time. We were both so pure back then, no NEET and no slut.

I was about to resume my path to forget the unpleasant memories only to be interrupted by a commotion. I went into the park to check out what's going on.

I then saw a bunch of kids praising and admiring a blue haired beaut- that blue haired bitch!

"Nature's Beauty!"

"Whoa!" I exclaimed along with the kids.

How can I not!? How did she shoot water from her fans!?

"Do it again! Do it Again!"

"I will even give you my candy so please do it one more time!"

The kids begged Aqua mesmerized by her trick.

"Sorry but only third rate party trickster uses the same trick over and over again," said proudly the trickster.

"I, a first rate trickster, only show tricks when my soul is inspired."

"Wow!"

The kids admired at the words, which they probably didn't understand but sounded too cool to them to not be impressed.

I had my fun, I better leave quickly before she-

"Ahhh! It's you! ShutinNEET, the wannabe hero!"

"I'm not shutinNEET and I'm not some wannabe hero you bitch!"

I immediately retorted, finally calling her with an appropriate label.

"Heh, a foul mouth for a foul NEET. Then explain to me why you were going who-knows-where other than school during school hours?"

"Right back at ya! You outdated memester! What were you doing in the middle of the road T-posing during school hours!?"

"I'm not outdated!"

"Yes you are grandma!"

Suddenly, she became silent and her annoyed face turned serious and menacing.

"Hey, what did you just call me?"

"G~R~A~N~D~M-"

"God Blow!"

"Kek!"

I hit the ground after receiving a sucker punch to the face.

This bitch! This is too much!

"That's what you deserve for calling a lady like me a grandma you shittyNEET. As for these, I will take it for your punishment," she said in a condescending tone as she snatched my junks.

"Who are you calling now? Calling for your daddy? Baby's gonna cry?" said the bitch with a provoking smile.

Oh you won't like what's coming for sure.

[Hello, what's the emergency?]

"Officer, there is a person here who has exerted violence and theft on me. We are currently located at-"

"WAAAAA! Please stop! I'm sorry! So please stop calling the police!"

Cried the offender as she clung to me, effectively lying on top of me. I would have enjoyed the sensation only if I didn't see her pathetic crying face.

""Uwaaaa…""

Oh my, the disillusioned looks on the kids are quite something.

"I'll go home."

"Yeah I have to do my homework"

"I have to take care of my pet!"

"I wanna see real adults."

Said the kids as they left one by one.

Kid, we aren't adults to begin with so your complaint is invalid.

"I get it. I get it. I won't call the police anymore," I said as I pushed her away from me.

"You really won't call the police?" asked the teary faced woman.

"I won't. I won't. So stop crying already."

"You will give me the snacks right?" asked the still teary faced woman.

"I wi- why would I do that!?"

How can she expect me to give my junks after she just beat me up!?

"Hmph, it was wrong for me to expect so much from a NEET after all," said the gold digger.

This little…!

"-ur name?"

"What?" I asked unable to hear the soft voice.

"I said what is your name!" said the woman loudly as if to hide her embarrassment.

Oh? I never thought I would see this side of this girl. She can be quite a girl after all.

"My name's Satou Kazuma."

"Hm-hmph! My name's Aqua, Aqua Theos."

Said Aqua still embarrassed.

"About what you said a while ago…"

"?"

I stayed silent beckoning her to continue.

"Me and Eris weren't fooling around like you. We were actually heading toward our school to process our transfer. So don't lump me together with you shutinNEET."

There goes your girly act. This arrogant bitch still finds a way to disappoint!

"You little…! Ah-" I paused in the middle stunned for a moment.

"Byes!" said the thief as she snatched my snacks running away.

"You little thief!" I shouted without bothering to chase her anymore.

I just sighed feeling tired. I began walking home as the sky went dark.

* * *

In my dream, they were made speechless then cried together with me as if getting back something so precious that was lost…

So why is my family staring angrily at me as if dealing with a trash?

"Kazuma have you no shame as a man?" said my father menacingly.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Don't play the fool! I heard everything from my neighbor about how you pushed down women!"

"Whaaat?! I was doing that to save them!"

"Save them from what?"

"Save them from a trac…tor." I said, barely finishing my word.

"A tractor? How do you save someone from a tractor!? Stop giving me an excuse!"

I completely agree.

I wanted to retort but telling them my delusional motive would be too embarrassing.

"Hmph, I thought being a NEET was low enough but a deviant? That I can't tolerate. Kazuma, you give me no choice but to kick you out."

What?

A moment of pause was necessary to fully take in what was just said.

I stood up in protest. I approached my stern father with each step lowering my stature.

"I am sorry! Please don't kick me out!"

I gave a full bow clinging to any hope I can find.

"Father! That's too much! Don't kick him out!"

Wow, my brother came to my defense!

"I need him home to feel superior! I need him to feed my ego!"

Oh right, this is reality.

"That's right dear, don't kick him out."

Now, my mother came in protest. Maybe, just maybe, she will stand up for me?

"Let's make him do chores instead. Lately, I feel my body getting clunky due to overwork."

Whoops, this is reality.

I felt my heart being squeezed, letting out tears which I held with all my might.

"Enough with your jokes. Kazuma, I will give you a chance."

I raised my head in the hope of saving my hide.

"Attend school again and catch up within one term or else you will be kicked out for good."

School huh? At other times, I would run to my room and barricade myself inside. But this time ain't a joke! He has this face that would smash open the door if he needs to!

…

"Ok. I will go to school so please don't kick me out," I said weakly as I went to my room.

"I forgot to mention but I confiscated all your games and girly goods so focus on your study."

I was stunned briefly then kept walking. Before I got out of the living room, I made sure to bow before heading upstairs.

I went into my room and looked around. The stacked anime goods or as my father called 'girly goods' are gone. Father, they are not dolls, they are figurines! Also, just because a cute girl is in the cover doesn't mean it's intended for girls! Thankfully, the littered junks and cup noodles are cleaned. However, the games are gone too along with the newly bought game.

I stood there in disbelief wondering how it came to this point.

"This isn't how it was supposed to go…" I complained as I couldn't hold my knees, which dropped to the ground.

"What happened to our teary reunion? What happened to my supportive brother and loving mother?" I questioned as I began to cry.

What are they? Are they food?

This is reality. A damnable reality!

"It's all Aqua's fault…if she didn't distract me in the park then I would have come home early enough to evade my father!"

I complained unreasonably disregarding all my past deeds.

"Give me back my reality you shitty bitch!" I shouted into the night.

* * *

**Author's note:** **SIKE!** Konosuba motherfuckers! Kazuma will suffer even more! Anyway, yeah. This is the tone of the rest of the story.

**Ree-Dur** – Thank you for your read and interest and sorry for sounding too corporate.

**Nhehvnukl** – It wasn't technically harem but more of an open ended ending. Anyway, as for Aqua…sorry but I'm a sucker for Aqua so she might even be the first to fall in love.

* * *

****Notice**: **The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.


	3. Chapter 2 Begin the Fun School Life!

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

The sun atop shines upon the path. The students walked forth along the trees that lost their pink petals and some went ahead as they stepped on their pedals. Happy chatters abound the road. The way is made merry by the camaraderie they exude. However, here I am about to puke.

I walked wearily like a sheep surrounded by wolves. Every chattering noise was but a warning against an ambush. The fear propelled my hooves, running away to protect my wools.

I wanna go back! How is a NEET like me supposed to walk along the normies!?

I feel so out of place. I hope I don't look so awkward…

I walked speedily along the road until the school came into view, where I paused for a bit in melancholy.

There it is, multiple square buildings placed here and there atop the hill, the Akuseru College.

I offered my whole junior high school life to studies just to get in there for the sole purpose of paving a good future with Yami…

I studied day and night even after entering the college to maintain my good grades and what do I get?

Not only was I cucked but I ended up wasting four months-worth of studies.

How am I supposed to catch up…?

"Sigh," I sighed and resumed my walk.

A set of stairs appeared, which lead up to the high school sector of the campus. Numerous students, including me, walked up the stairs.

Each step had a toll on me as I began going out of breath, not only from forcing my rusty body but also from the pressure of going to school after so long.

Upon reaching the top, my nervousness was made worse as I saw local and foreign students entering the gate. I forced myself to move forward to not look too out of place.

I passed through the gate then entered the building. I brought out the indoor shoes from my bag. After donning them, I headed toward my class.

I began panting as I forced myself through the corridor full of students. I'm sure they don't care that I'm passing through but why do I feel like I'm getting their stares?

The thoughts of meeting my classmates were weighing down on me. Though it was only one week-long of interaction, they still know me. I couldn't help but worry about their thoughts, their stares, and their derision.

I eventually reached the door and stood there for a while, desperately trying to control my suffocating anxiety.

I tried to remember the sweet smiles of Eris, holding onto them to find any remnants of courage.

This is the moment of truth. I have to face what I left off!

I opened the door.

The room was bustling with chatters, surely they must have grown close after all these time. However, immediately, the room went silent after they found me.

I was frightened but tried my best to ignore their stares. I went for my seat but to my dismay, there was another guy sitting on it.

Shit! I forgot the possibility of a seat rearrangement!

I stood there unable to move due to the unexpected situation. I began panicking as my brain went fried and couldn't come up with any actions to follow.

"Hey!" I then heard a tough voice calling out to me.

"I've never seen you before. You a transfer student of something?" said the dude who clearly looked like one of those side characters who would've died before they even realize.

Crap! What happened to my good luck!? Why'd I be picked on by a delinquent right away!?

"I-I'm not a transfer…b-but something like that. Haha," I said while laughing to somehow give him a good impression.

The delinquent peered into me for a while, then,

"Kid, I don't know what you're going through but ease up. This isn't the gates of hell," said the guy encouragingly.

"If you're looking for seats, go over there," he said as he pointed toward the back.

"Th-thanks…"

That tough guy is surprisingly kind.

My steps were made lighter as I headed toward the back, where empty seats were.

When I sat down on one of the chairs, I saw him turning to me, giving me a thumbs up.

I couldn't help but give him a double thumbs up.

"Yo, your name is Kazuma right?"

"Huh?" I was surprised that there was someone else willing to talk to me despite the reaction of the whole class.

"Oh, did I offend you or something? Recently, girls run away at my glance. Surely, they just can't behold my elegance."

"Hah?"

What is this blonde dude saying?

"Look, that dude is being picked on by the delinquent…"

"Poor him, that thug is setting him up for something…"

I could faintly hear the whispers of my classmates.

"Oh, you swing that way? Sorry I'm straight. Just because I called you with your first name doesn't mean you should blush. You can't complain to me for being rude. I mean it's a global world, multiculturalism is the trend," said the shameless egotist.

"I'm not gay! And I didn't blush, I was just stunned at your blatant narcissism! I don't even care if someone calls me my first name. Just how many foreigners do you think I've met that forgot to follow that custom? Speaking of multiculturalism, shouldn't you respect our custom?!" I retorted his nonsense.

"Whatever dude. Anyway, do you remember my name?"

"…"

My brain couldn't recall his name as it was stunned at his shameless manner.

"Oh wow, even after a week, you still don't remember my name? How cruel?! How selfish?! Even though I made sure to remember your name, you dare forget mine?!"

"Wha- I can't help it. I wasn't in the school for four whole months! I'm bound to forget names."

"Right, you had to be a shut in for four whole months."

"I'm not a shut in!"

"Sure," replied the fucker sarcastically.

What a douche!

"You have to compensate for my emotional damage. First off, go buy me a drink NEET."

"Fuck you! Buy me a drink my ass! Emotional damage from me forgetting you? Just how much of a loner should you be to miss me so much? What is your name to begin with? I bet it's too insignificant for my brain to remember."

"Ahhhh?! As if I would ever be lonely or hurt because of a shutinNEET! And my name is Dust. Make sure to remember with your stupid head!"

"Dust? Your name is Dust? No wonder I forgot your name like the dirt under my toes!"

"Oh you piece of shit! You called for it!"

"Bring it on!"

We did what all civilized men do after their conversation is ended in failure.

We fought there like idiots with the classmates seemingly appalled, when suddenly-

*BAM*

We paused as the door slammed open and immediately, a blue haired gorgeous beau-

Oh shit…

I immediately separated from Dust and sat on my chair then buried my head in my arms on the desk in an attempt to conceal my identity.

Dust didn't seem to care as his eyes were captured by the bitch that just entered.

"Ah, the attention I rightfully deserve. Listen everyone, my name is Aqua Theos. I am a gorgeous beauty everyone should admire. Now, if you offer me some food, maybe I can give you some attention…"

My buried head began producing loads of sweat as I suspected her noticing me.

"Hey, are you Kazuma?"

"…"

"ShutinNEET."

"…"

"Hmph! Ignoring me after you almost got the police involved-"

"Watch your words! Sure, that's what happened but you were the problem!"

My retort was in vain as the classmates coldly stared at me as if looking at a trash.

"You're the last person I thought I would see in this school. What brought you out of your shell?"

"Because of you!"

"My, oh my. My godly beauty must have brought you out of your confine. Oh you tsundere, if you had fell for me, you shouldn't be such a meanie."

I can't. I just can't. My boiling head can't process the amount of anger surging at her words.

"BULL-"

"Ouch!"

I was yet again interrupted as Aqua's head was hit by something.

Is that a chalk?

"Who told you to barge in on your own and cause a commotion?" a cold voice sounded throughout the room.

"Even though I told you to follow after me, you just had to ignore it…"

I turned to the entrance and saw a true gorgeous beauty, coupled with those enormous boobs!

If she didn't have such a cold, menacing expression, she would've looked perfect.

"I-I'm sorry! Miss…er…"

"My name is Wiz. Get it through your thick skull already."

"Yes. Ms. Wiz."

Oh? I've never seen this bitch be so submissive before.

"Sigh, at least, you finished your introduction. As for your seat…hmm? Who are you?"

Ms. Wiz questioned as she noticed me.

"M-My name is Kazuma, Satou Kazuma. I am a student here…"

"I see. So you're back. I am Wiz Lemur. I came here two weeks since your absence as this class' advisor."

So she's a new teacher here and one that's responsible for this class. Sweet! Though cold and scary she maybe, if I can see her every day, it would be such a bliss, unlike that fake beauty beside her.

"It seems that you two know each other already, I should just dump her to you then. Aqua sit beside him."

"W-wait. I think she would be better off sitting somewhere else…"

My voice trailed off as she returned a glare.

"Any objection?"

"No…," I replied weakly.

Damn, I should have connected the dots much earlier. She said she was processing a transfer the other day. Considering their exquisite apparel at the time, it is only natural she would show up here.

But why does it have to be her?! Why not Eris?

"Betrayer! Not only you forgot my name during your absence but you also managed to hit on such a hot chick while you were gone! Unforgivable…we are no longer friends you hear me!? You enemy of men!"

"Quit flapping around your mouth. She's not what you think she is. Also, we were never friends to begin with-"

I then noticed the hateful glares of the boys in the room.

"Really, she's not what you guys think she is. I bet all of you can't tolerate a minute of her brazen child-like behaviors."

"Kazuma, how lucky of you. You get to sit beside your beloved beauty. Make sure to offer me food if you desire any semblance of affection."

"As if! I'm not-"

"Silence."

""…""

Her voice was not loud but it was enough to silence us.

We just sat there. Me boiling in anger and she flaunting her beauty and being full of herself.

If only I could smack her…

The teacher began writing on the board some math formulas.

"Kazuma, you should've missed plenty of study. You may ask any question should you find it too difficult. Also, you may visit me later for consultation."

Wow, cold she may be, she sure is kind. The gap is simply wonderful. Unlike the dork beside me.

"I will. Thank you."

She then began her discussion and I asked questions here and there, which were answered excellently.

If she would be around, I can surely catch up in no time!

*SNORE~*

"Huh?" I noticed a weird sound beside me…

It was Aqua. She is sleeping with her mouth wide open, her nose inflating a bubble and her drool painting the desk...

Is she really a woman?

But she sure is manly, not everyone can sleep in front of a devil's incarnate.

"Ouch!" cried out Aqua as she was Karate chopped by the angry teacher.

"Dare to sleep in my class? Still sleepy? Why don't you go outside and hold buckets?"

"Huh? Why should I!?"

"Because you woudln't want to be here," said Wiz as she brandished her ruler.

"O-Of course, I do love to stand outside holding buckets," said Aqua as she went outside with some buckets.

Serves her right.

"Sigh...Kazuma, you should watch over her so she won't cause anymore troubles."

"Huh? Why me?"

"Because you might not want to be here as well," said Wiz as she glared at me.

"O-Of course, I will take good care of her," I said with a desperate smile.

"Good," said Wiz as she resumed her class.

How unrelenting…

Afterwards was just a class after class with Aqua coming in the middle with teary eyes.

After the third class, a bell rang throughout the school followed by an announcement,

[[Students please gather in the multi-purpose hall. An announcement will be made by the principal.]]

After the brief announcement, the students quickly began lining up and went to the hall.

"Hey Aqua stop sleeping. We have to- huh?"

Where did that bitch go?

Whatever, the one who will be screwed is her anyway.

I lined up as well and went toward the hall.

* * *

The whole students in the school were quickly gathered and we sat there waiting for a follow up announcement.

Aqua sure is brave, brave enough to face Wiz after skipping the gathering.

"Good morning students," an amplified voice reverberated throughout the hall.

"I won't take much your time so pay attention," said the principal on the stage.

The chatters that filled the hall subsided as we payed attention for the follow up.

"Everyone must have heard and saw the news regarding the new emperor in Japan. For the sake of formality, let us offer our heartfelt congratulations to emperor Naruhito," said the principal lazily and monotonously.

""Congratulations…""

Our voice wasn't so enthusiastic as we saw the disrespect the principal was showing.

"Tch, what a bunch of dull brats."

That's rich…

"Millennials were a bunch of headaches and your generation is quite a problem as well."

Says the boomer with bad parenting.

What is with today? Why do I have to meet the most annoying people in one day? Is this some sort of punishment for my NEET life?

"Sigh, following the accession, the new emperor declared a ten-day holidays-"

""OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!""

The students were unanimous in welcoming the new emperor's generosity.

"Quiet! Quiet! Won't you shut your damn mouths?!" shouted the principal frantically.

They paid no heed to his words as they were exhilarated by the news.

As for me, I felt somehow anticlimactic.

I mean I came here all ready to face the dragon only to find him on vacation in Hawaii…

Welp, I guess I'll take a vacation too.

It was quite chaotic to behold the students cheering and the principal angrily shouting at them.

As for me, I just sat there all calm and peaceful like the eye of the storm.

"Huh?"

I was startled. It can't be helped, the commotion that were all over the hall were gone in mere seconds.

Silence reigned the hall as the students were unanimously staring at the stage.

They were not staring at the stunned principal but at the two beauties- I mean, the beauty and the bitch entering the stage.

Whoa, what are those two doing at the stage?

It seems they are discussing something with the principal.

"Brats listen up, these two are exchange students from the west. They are both exemplary students with outstanding talents and academics. They are here to show off one of their skills today."

I am convinced of Eris being outstanding but that idiot too?

"Thank you for the introduction Sir Aldarp. Greetings, my name is Eris Theos – "And I'm Aqua Theos!" - as the principal said earlier, we are both exchange students so we aren't quite familiar here. So please take care of us," the two introduced themselves.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, are you all-"

"Are you all ready for the magic show!?" said Aqua, snatching the line of Eris.

Silence filled the hall briefly until,

""YEEEEEEES WE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!""

The hall was filled with the battle cry of hungry barbarians.

"Alright, here goes! Nature's Beauty!"

Aqua swung her arms wide open with fans in both hands, where water flew forth.

""WOW!""

Aqua then did more of those tricks in different poses until it ended.

""Encore! Encore! Encore!""

"Do it one more time!"

"I will even become your life-long fan so please show me that trick once more!"

"Sorry guys, a true artist does not capitalize on the same trick twice. Instead, here goes another one!"

Aqua held a piece of cloth and flourished it, showing the crowd that there is no sneaky trick involved.

She covered the stand with the cloth where the principal gave his talk.

"Now, with my magic, I will make this stand smaller!" Aqua said as she lifted off the cloth.

""WHOA!"" I cried out along with the students, which blotted out the angry shout of the principal.

I couldn't help it. After all, beneath the cloth was a miniature stand exactly the same as its original counterpart!

How did she even get rid of the original stand!? Is it actually as she says? That the stand became small with her magic!?

She then went on to miniaturize other things, which caused the principal to yell over and over again in anger but they were all overwhelmed by the cheer of the crowd.

""Aqua! Aqua! Aqua!"" chanted the excited crowd.

Crap, I should be careful lest I cheer along them.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much for all your love! You see Kazuma? I'm loved by so many that I can't just be taken away by a NEET. I'm sorry but…I have to reject your confession," said Aqua haughtily.

I sat there dazed. I couldn't process what she just said.

I saw Aqua standing apologetically with cocky expression.

I saw Eris blushing in surprise.

The students were stunned and one by one began to laugh at the stunt Aqua pulled off.

"Hahahahaha! You actually confessed to her?! She's way too out of your league! I have to applaud for your courage though comrade. HAHAHAHA!" said Dust as he patted my shoulder.

I then saw the students noticing him laughing at me.

Then the whole students turned to me.

Now knowing who the culprit was, they laughed even harder.

"Wow! Someone like him actually confessed to a beauty like her? LOL!"

"Seriously though, like that guy said, we should applaud him for his courage."

"Just who do you think you are to confess to someone like her!?"

Why does everyone just suck her words? Why do I have to be ridiculed for something I never did? Why the fuck did that bitch pulled off such a stunt!?

"E-everyone calm down…"

I could faintly hear the guilty voice of Aqua, which fell deaf on an angry fellow.

"BULLSHIT!"

The hall was made silent.

"Who confessed to who now? Hey I'm asking you bitch, who confessed to who!? Just because I let you run your damn mouth doesn't mean you can spew things that aren't real!"

I cried out what I meant to say since I met her today as I inadvertently headed toward the stage, fixated on the surprised bitch.

"You damnable wench! What do you mean I fell in love with you? I would only fall in love with you when the damn pigs fly! The only things going for you are your beauty and your stupid party tricks! Otherwise, you are arrogant to no end, you cry like a little kid, and you're so dying for food you even stole my snacks! I'm telling you now bitch. Heed my words, only cheap men who are all for looks would ever fall in love with such an uncivilized woman like you!"

Silence prevailed the hall as I finished my remark on the stage.

The only thing that could be heard was the wail of the defeated hoe.

"WAAAAAAA! You scumbag, Scumzuma! Why do you have to be such a scum every time we meet?!" she cried out as she pulled my cheeks.

"Thass rish komin frm yu!" I said incoherently as I pulled her cheeks too.

We fought on the stage like idiots for all to see.

Everyone was stunned, not knowing what to make of the situation.

"Calm down you two. Don't embarrass yourselves in front of everyone…" Eris butted in.

"Come on now Aqua, apologize to him for what you did."

"Why _sniff_ should I apologize _sniff_ to a NEET like him? _sniff_._" _

"Don't bother, I never expected an apology from a subhuman anyway."

"WAAAAAAAAA!"

We were on it again as we pulled each other's cheeks.

"Calm down both of you!" Eris, who couldn't stomach it anymore, literally butted in and separated both of us.

"Seriously, you two aren't little children anymore so stop acting like one."

I was startled at her sudden touch which helped me to calm down a bit.

"Sigh, alright-"

"That's right! Stop acting like a child and apologize like an adult should!"

"Oh you bitch!"

Scared, Aqua immediately hid behind Eris as she saw me approaching.

"Wait Kazuma, calm down! L-Let's just do some other tricks instead! Please?"

Damn, those upturned eyes are a cheat! A good cheat.

"Sigh, ok."

"Good!"

Eris took out a small bag and handed it over to me, prompting me to investigate it.

"Kazuma, do you see any trick involved?"

"Nope."

"Alright, this magic is called the lucky steal. I will be able to snatch one of your belongings out of this magical bag!"

Eris placed her hand into the bag and took out…

"Hey that's my pouch!"

""WHOA!""

The students cheered, breaking away from their confusion.

Eris stood there with an elated smile.

"Amazing!"

"Eris you stole my heart too!"

"Steal my handkerchief as well so I can get it back from you later!"

I was amazed like I did at Aqua's tricks. Only this time, I stopped questioning at such surreal feat.

"That's cool Eris. Can I have my pouch back now?" I asked as I held my hand toward her.

"Why don't we play a little game?"

"Huh?"

"The amazing thing about this magic is that anyone can do it. They just have to be lucky enough to snatch something nice. Hence, the name lucky steal. So let's play a game. You can snatch anything from me with this magical bag and keep it as I would keep this pouch. What do you say?" said Eris as she gave a provoking smile.

Inside that pouch is my fare for going home but hey, where else can I get the chance to play games with Eris?

"Cool! Let's do this."

"That's the spirit!" said Eris as she playfully smiled.

I couldn't help but blush as I saw her behave childishly. It's quite a contrast to her elegant manner.

I placed my hand in the bag hurriedly in an attempt to hide my embarrassment.

I quickly removed my hand and tried to see what was on it-

"Huh?" before I even saw what was on my hand I noticed a change in Eris.

Her face was flushed and pitiful, with tears about to fall, all while looking at me as if ravaged by a brute.

"Are you ok-"

Oh.

*BOMP*

Eris fell to her knees and sat there covering her nether regions with her hands.

A-At least she wore a long skirt haha…ha…

"K-Kazuma _sniff_ I-I'm sorry for being mischievous _sniff_. I-I didn't mean it when I said I _sniff_ would keep your pouch. I meant to return it in the end _sniff_…w-would you please return my panty?"

I felt my head going white as I saw the woman of my dream collapse because of me.

"Uwaaaa what a brute."

"Eris are you ok!?"

"What the fuck have you done shitface!"

Thankfully, none of those insults were processed in my head due to it being occupied of coming up with an excuse to restore the brutalized flag as I limped toward Eris.

As I approached her, she flinched and squeaked as if a predator was before her.

My knees slowly fell to the ground as I couldn't bear to carry the reality that befell me.

I held the panty tightly this whole time to not show it to anyone, which she misunderstood it as some perverted act as she squeaked further.

I placed my trembling hand over to her while I had my head down the whole time to not show the tears beginning to fall and the darkness beginning to wrap my head.

Eris took to flight as soon as she recovered her panty.

It's over…again...

It's that sunset all over again…

_Hello darkness my old friend_...

I couldn't move my numb body as my old trauma visited me.

I held my overflowing tears with everything I've got trying to save my dignity as a man.

However, I couldn't take it anymore but to collapse and wail like a child.

The commotion in the crowd subsided as they noticed my pitiful display.

Why don't you laugh? Why don't you laugh at me like you guys did just now!?

What's the point of coming to school when all I get is a sunset...

"There, there, just cry your heart out, Kazuma."

"Uweh?" I was startled as I heard a kind voice comforting me all while patting my head gently.

"Everyman has to cry once in a while. It's no big deal. No one will ridicule you for crying."

I was surprised. She should've been the first to mock me…instead, she is the first to comfort me…

My cries sounded throughout the silent hall.

Aqua was there beside me the whole time, comforting me without any complaints.

I never thought Aqua was capable of making such a kind smile.

I always hated her for the troubles she caused but for now…I'm thankful.

"Don't worry about Eris. I mean she had it coming. Deceiving the people with her pads…it must have been a rightful punishment sent down from the heaven," said Aqua as I began calming down.

She pads her breast?

Well, I don't mind that...but what does it matter…

Wait…

The crowd was unusually silent. They would usually make a commotion out of any scandal they find…

Oh, thank goodness, it seems that her mic fell off.

Perhaps, it fell off when we were pulling each other's cheeks.

"Still, that's weird. I've never seen anyone steal a panty before with the lucky steal bag."

So I am the first pervert to do it huh.

"I should check it out…," said Aqua as she placed her hand into the bag.

"Haha," I chuckled at this strange situation.

Not only isn't she not troublesome but actually helpful-

"What is this? Some kind of yellow ball…huh? It's shining?"

*BOOM*

The yellow ball Aqua held exploded right in her face.

Thankfully, it wasn't lethal as all it did was splashing us with some kind of slime.

"*Cough* *cough*, what is this…slime? It's disgusting!" Aqua complained.

Welp, at least, it doesn't smell.

"Kyaa!" cried Aqua.

"What's wrong!?"

"Th-there's a cockroach on my lap. C-Could you please remove it for me? PLEASE KAZUMA PLEASE!"

"Don't cry just because of some cockroach," I said as I picked off the cockroach on her lap and stomped on it.

Suddenly, there was a soft quaking on the ground.

Is it an earthquake?

A commotion broke out among the students and the place became chaotic in no time.

Wh-what the hell? Aren't there enough Japanese to keep the situation under control? It's weird to go haywire for such a minor quak-

"Oh man. Oh God. Oh man! Oh God! OH man! OH God! OH Man! OH God! OH MAn! Oh GOd! OH MAN! OH GOD!" I shouted as I turned around in place witnessing the cause of the commotion all around me.

It was darkness, fully covering the ground and the walls and the ceilings.

They passed through between the legs of the students, creeped out of the cracks on the floors, and some even flew, evolving into an incarnate of nightmare.

They were all cockroaches appearing en masse out of nowhere.

""KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"" all the boys and the girls screamed in unison, me and Aqua included.

"Jesus Christ! Have mercy upon me!"

"Where did all these cockroaches came from!?"

"Damn, the gates of hell have opened!"

Soon, the hall was but a pandemonium with students rushing toward the exits.

"Kazuma! Kazuma! What do we do!? What do we do!"

"RUN!"

We began running toward the exit then I discovered to my despair that the roaches were following us!

Come to think of it, all these roaches showed up when the ball exploded…then it must be the slime!

My thoughts were confirmed when I saw some roaches flocking to the slime that hit the floor.

"Something's wrong…th-they are all following us! Why are they all following us!?"

"It's the slime from the ball! It's attracting them!"

"That means they are out to crawl all over me?! How can they do that to such a beauty like me!? How can I face the world with my beauty tainted in their vile touch?!"

"Shut up and conjure some water!"

"I can't! I left the fans on the stage when we began running!"

Shit! I guess I have no choice then- ah.

"Ah," said Aqua as she tripped and fell toward the ground.

*BOMP*

"Ka-Kazuma…d-don't leave me…please! PLEASE!" Aqua begged with teary eyes and desperation.

In the past, I would have paid no heed to her plea and turned around without a care but now…

I quickly approached her and helped her to get up.

"Ow! Kazuma…I think I sprained my ankle…"

"Shit!"

"Wha-"

I had no choice but to lift Aqua and carry her in my arms as there was not enough time to put her on my back.

Dazed, Aqua blankly stared at me. Perhaps, it was too much of a shocker for me to actually help her out.

"Stop staring at me…did you fall for me or something?"

"N-No! How could I ever feel a speck of love to a shutinNEET?!"

Always with the harsh words…

Nevertheless, finding an exit doesn't seem to be a feasible plan. All of them were blocked by a sea of students-

"Don't you come here Kazuma! Don't you bring the cockroaches to us you piece of shit!"

*Whoosh* *Wheesh*

"What the fuck Dust?! Quit swinging that chair at us and swing at those damn roaches!"

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"Aye, I'm Kazuma!"

"Keep running! Keep running!" demanded Aqua as she pointed to the back.

I turned my head to see what Aqua saw-

"GAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A literal wave of roaches was crashing down on us!

Just how many roaches do we have in this school!?

I immediately ran to the side and made it at the nick of time.

"U-UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Unfortunately for the scum, he was devoured by the wave.

Good riddance.

But I just can't see the possibility of Aqua making out of this situation unscathed.

"Hey Aqua. We need a change of plan. All the exits are blocked and my arms are going weak."

"Then what do we do!?"

"I have a bug repellent that can stave off those roaches-"

"Why didn't you say so earlier?!"

"Don't move! You're too hea-"

"I'm not heavy!"

"Stop interrupting me! Damn it!"

I adjusted my hold and kept running.

"I would have given it to you already if it weren't for the side effects…"

"What could be worse than being devoured by a sea of cockroaches!? Just give it to me already!"

"Ok. Ok. Stop screaming. It should be in the pocket of my bla-"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Whoa!"

Aqua began violently thrashing around, which weakened my balance.

"Stop moving!"

"There is a cockroach in my back! Remove it! NOW!"

"H-Hey! Ah."

"Ah?"

My balance finally broke and we both fell to the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

The scream of Aqua was cut in short as she was immediately swallowed by the sea.

As for me, the cockroaches surrounded me, conflicted whether to lunge at me or stay away.

I took out my custom made repellent and began spraying at those damn roaches.

I should have done this from the start…

Whatever the side effects…it would have been much better than this…

I kept spraying at the area where the roaches were violently thrashing about, trying to get closer to something.

Eventually, the roaches were gone as the repellent overwhelmed the alluring slime.

Aqua laid there crying pitifully as if…I mean, after losing something important.

"Thank you Kazuma…Thank you! Thank you so much…!" cried Aqua as she hugged me.

She smells sweet like a flower, which is not surprising as she was sprayed all over with my repellent.

However, it gives me a shiver to be hugged by a woman who was just deflowered by cockroaches…but I can't just put away the person who stayed with me…

""OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!""

"Huh?"

A crowd of students surrounded me in cheers.

"Thank you! Thank you for saving us!"

"You are my hero for life!"

"I can even give you my pussy!"

Wow they are cheering me-

"Who said that!? I need more details!"

…there was no reply.

"Hey kid!" I heard a tough voice calling out to me.

I turned to the voice to find the tough guy standing there.

"I never thought you had such potential when I saw you this morning."

"Potential to do what big guy?"

"To shine a light on the gates of hell. To be the hero we all need."

"He's right! If it wasn't for you, we would've all been capsized by the cockroaches! Kazuma! Kazuma!"

Another guy began chanting my name followed by the rest,

""Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!""

I just stood there and listened to their cheers.

I guess traumas can be helpful aftera-

"_Sniff_ I was supposed to be the one being cheered for _sniff_…th-they were supposed to praise me _sniff_…why is a NEET like him getting all the spot- urp- UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK."

Oh.

I forgot the side effects…

My negligence was punished as Aqua vomited rainbows all over me…

The students were appalled as they stopped cheering and kept distance.

I just stood there in defeat with this sorry excuse of a woman defiling me.

I then felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned to see who it was…

"Surely, you have some great explanation for this mess?"

There it was, the witch, glaring at me, asking for an explanation of what I didn't cause but got dragged into.

"Sigh..."

Pestered by annoying people, ridiculed by a crowd, attacked by a sea of cockroaches, and now facing the nightmare…

What a way to start a school life…

* * *

**Author's Note**: Sorry for taking too long. I was busy with school…slightly. I had to think through and through on how to proceed the first school day in the most ridiculous way conceivable. And I think I mildly succeeded. Hopefully, it was a good read for you guys like I had fun writing this.

On hindsight, this chapter is quite a rollercoster...very chaotic.

Btw, please give me your opinion on Wiz. I want to explore the old side of Wiz when she was cold and relentless. What do you guys think Wiz should be? Like why is she relentless or how she would act or her speech patterns etc.

**Bluebunny9**, **Ultimate Luck Aizen**: Thanks for the read!

**KeyOfVoid**: Thanks for the compliments! What do you mean by "I stan" btw? Did I make some typo?

**Amatsumi**: MOAR INCOMING.

**P.S. **Tell me if the singing part was too cringy. I felt slight cringe while writing them but I think it best described what was going through inside Kazuma at that moment, when he was visited by his old trauma again.

* * *

**Author's Note 2 (5-22-19)**: I edited the chapter for the sole purpose of removing the singing part, except some remnant. Reading that part made me want to kill myself. So yeah.

Anyway for the sake of reminding myself to not do it again, I will place here the singing part:

Hello darkness my old friend _sniff_….I've come to talk with you again…_sniff_

With my vision quickly blurring _sniff_…falling down while I am tingling _sniff_…

And the dream _sniff _that was planted in my brain…_sniff _still remains…

_Sniff…_within the bound of darkness…

**nhehvnukl**: I completely agree on the singing part and removed it. Anyway, it's good that you had fun reading it. As for Vanir, I have plans but I'm not entrirely sure yet but it should be earlier than it did in the canon. Aldarp...his days are numbered. As of Japan, it has been a monarch just like UK and it just received a new emperor, literally. Now, I'm not versed in government systems so I'm not sure if the emperor has any power. As for why Kazuma carried a repellent...there is a reason.

**Different**: Thanks for the read. As for Megumin and Darkness...very soon.

* * *

****Notice**: **The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.


	4. Chapter 3 Welcome the Wonderful Friends!

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

"DAMN IIIIIIIIIIT!"

*FLOP*

I screamed in shame, regret, and disbelief as the blanket that I kicked fell to the floor softly.

Did I really cry in front of everyone? Did I really destroy the last remnants of my dignity!?

"UWOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAOAOAOAOAAAAAA!"

Damn it! It must be a dream! I mean how could there be a sea of cockroach? How could Aqua ever manage to pull off such a smile!?

That's right, it must be a dream. Haha, it must be-

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

"SHUT UP! Be quiet over there so I can study! Just because you returned home with rainbows all over you doesn't mean you can go crazy!"

My brother's words pierced into me, anchoring me to the truth.

"DAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

"SHUT UUUUUUUP!"

We both shouted into the night.

* * *

I woke up early with bags under my eyes. Lately, I haven't been able to get a good sleep due to the incident in the school.

"UWOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Even now, my body is writhing in shame as I shout in regret. I just squirmed on my bed until I saw the clock, which indicated that it was 7 AM.

"…Gotta get going. Don't want to piss off Wiz again for being late."

I donned my track suit and went out of my room with my bag. The house was unusually quiet. Normally, my mom would be cooking for my father and my brother by now but they are all sleeping.

"Seriously, just because it's a holiday doesn't mean you can slack off. It will ruin your rhythm," I spoke to myself shamelessly.

I went out of my house and began walking toward the river. I saw the usual empty roads and the farmers tending to their crops.

I guess there's no day offs for the farmers…just like me…

Why do I have to clean up a river in a day off? I'm not responsible for the cockroach incident!

Seriously though, rivers in this area are quite clean…I wonder why they would want to send us there…

Welp, does not matter, gotta fill in the hours to enjoy a day off at all.

Soon, the river came into view, bathing in the daylight, dazzling like the night sky.

What a view…this is one of the perks of living in the rural area.

Aqua isn't here. She's late again isn't she? Always being late to do less work and lying about her attendance…

I'm going to tell Wiz for sure.

Still…the river is too clean for me to do anything…seriously, why did they send me here?

Welp, let's see what I can do.

I began searching around for any trash. I was able to find very few here and there after an hour...

Sigh, why is my countrymen such a perfectionist? They should be like me, relaxed and lazy.

"Kazuma~ I'm here~"

"Damn it, Aqua! Why are you always late?"

"Relax. Why do you have to be so hard working? You have to be like me, chill and lazy, or else you will kill yourself with stress."

"…"

I guess people have different standards.

"Whatever, let's get to work."

"What work? This river can't be anymore clean."

"There's trash here and there. Look at what I found," I said as I pointed to the bunch of trash, which can be counted in one hand.

"Sigh, why do you people have to be such a perfectionist?"

"…Shut up and get to work."

We began searching for trash as if looking for a precious stone…

We eventually crawled on all fours to search for any remnants of trash.

We crawled for hours with the sun going hotter as time went.

"AAAAAHHHHHH! It's hot! My back hurts! I can't take it anymore!"

"…"

I agree. Searching for trash in this heat for hours would make anyone burst out.

"Why do I have to work in a day off!? Hey, Kazuma don't you think you should work harder so a beauty like me can take a rest!?"

"Beauty? Where the hell is the beauty!? All I can see is a woman-child throwing a tantrum! Also what work!? You haven't even found a single trash!"

"Hmph! That's because the world loves me so much that they just can't let me touch a trash you stupid shutinNEET!"

"Alright, here is one of the wills of the world!" I shouted as I hurled the trash at her.

"Kyaa! How could you treat a lady like this? Why do you have to be so mean!? I just wanna take a break! I wanna take a break! Break! Break! BREAK!"

Aqua devolved into a child, swinging around her arms and legs with her back on the ground.

On second look, she looks like a cockroach whose back turned to the floor, desperately attempting to flip.

It's quite amusing actually. She is the biggest pest here, after all.

Every day, she goes further and further away from being truly beautiful…

"Sigh, alright Roachy. Let's take a break."

"Yay- what!? What did you just call me!?"

I shrugged off her inquiries as I sat to the side of the river.

It's been quite a while since I came here.

Last time I came here…was with Yami, enjoying our summer youth together…

Even now, I can't believe Yami betrayed me…

"_Hum_ _Humhum_ "

My thoughts were interrupted as Aqua began humming cheerly.

Aqua removed her shoes and pulled up her work pants.

She then went toward the river and began playing with the water like a child…

"Nature's Beauty!"

"Ah! Hey stop that!" I complained as I was drenched in the water she conjured.

"Stop being dead inside and let's play in the water!"

"Heh, you will regret it Roachy!" I said as I smiled.

"I'm not Roach-" Aqua was cut short as I shot my pre-loaded water gun right at her face.

"Hey! Where did you get that? No fair! Let me have it too!"

"Just how many times do you think I played in this river when I was young? I'm already at the level of bringing my water gun on instinct when coming here. Also, you have your trick so why do you need it?" I said as I shot my water gun at her face again.

"You selfish NEET, fine! Have a taste of my Nature's Beauty!"

I was drenched yet again in her conjured water.

"Cut it out! Some went into my mouth!"

"Don't worry, they are drinkable and quite tasty."

"…Huh, you're right. It's quite delicious. The best one I ever drank!"

"Heheh, of course! It's the water the great me conjured," said Aqua cockily.

"Alright, great-whatever I will bestow upon you the title of Great Water Dispenser."

"I don't need it!"

We then played around until we were fully wet.

I'm quite surprised at how much fun I'm having…

Being wet under the heating sun was the last thing I ever wanted but now I don't mind it.

It is because of her?

I stared into her face in contemplation.

"W-Why are you staring at me?" said Aqua as she averted her gaze with a tinge of blush.

"Hmph, have you lost your words again at my other-worldly beauty?" said Aqua as she flaunted her hair proudly.

"Nah, I was thinking how less of a woman you are."

More like an overgrown kid.

"Oh you shittyNEET! Are you cursed to never give a proper praise!? Let me break that curse for you shittyNEET! God Blow- huh? Hey, why are there dead fishes floating around?"

"Huh? You're right. What's going on here? This never happened before…"

"It's coming from there," said Aqua as she pointed to upstream.

"Let's check it ou-...," I was interrupted as Aqua punched my cheek softly.

"I'll let it go this time but there's no next time," said Aqua as she retracted her arm.

Let's ignore it since it didn't hurt.

We both got out of the river and began heading up.

It didn't take us long to find a child beside the river holding onto something…something like a hose.

Is she putting something into the river? Where is it connected to…?

Oh it's just some kind of small device. She must be plugging some kind of cord to electrocute the river-

"Wait, that's illegal!"

"Huh!? Urk! G-Good sir, there is nothing suspicious going on here. J-Just some scientist doing her research that's all," said the kid guiltily as she averted her gaze.

"Then why are there dead fishes floating around?"

"O-Oh! They've just fainted! The electric isn't that strong so none of them are dead!"

"Oh? Then why is this fish not moving at all?" I said as I showed her the fish I picked up earlier.

"T-That fish must be having a bad day! Come on now fish, wake up…wake up!"

I listened to her madly screaming at the dead fish.

This chuuni brat...wearing those red lenses, bandage stocking, and black lab coat…she must be from the Guren Village.

"Sigh, I'll let you off this time. Just stop doing this from now on alright?"

"I-I can't."

"What!? Why is that?"

The kid held her head down for a while until she raised it with determined look.

She fluttered her coat in a dramatic pose as she said,

"My name is Megumin! The greatest explosion wielder of the Crimson Demon Village! Whose name shall echo to the ends of the earth! We Crimson Demons cannot live a day without electrocuting the river."

"What kind of convenient reason is that!?"

This cheeky brat! If she thinks I will forgive her for being cute, despite her antics, I'll show her just how wrong she is!

"Hey Kazuma, why is she acting so weird in such weird clothing…also why is her eyes red?" Aqua whispered to me.

"Well…she is from the Guren Village. Although the villagers are very intelligent, they are a bunch of weirdoes, calling themselves Crimson Demons and wearing red contact lenses."

"Hey! If you have a problem with my village, why don't we settle it o…u…t," Megumin barely finished what she wanted to say as she collapsed at the end.

"Hey a-are you ok?"

"I…haven't eaten for three whole days…kind sir, would you please give me any food?"

"What the hell? Where are your parents? Don't you have any money?"

Though weird they are, I'm sure they are normal in terms parenting.

"Well, my parents gave me some allowance but I ended up using it to buy materials for my failed slime explo- I-I mean research! Yes, I had to spend all my allowance to get the highest mark for my project!"

…Didn't she say something very familiar…?

"Sigh, alright. I'll buy you some meal, it's already noon anyway."

"T-Thank you kind sir!"

* * *

Me and Aqua changed to our spare clothes and along with Megumin, rode a bus to the nearby town. There's no restaurant in this area, after all.

As soon as our orders were served, Megumin began gobbling down on her food like some hungry dog.

"By the way, my name is Kazuma and this is Aqua. So where do you study?"

"_Burp~_ I study in the Akuseru College."

"What? I'm sure the college don't offer elementary curriculum…hey, what's wrong?" I questioned as I saw the face of Megumin full of disappointment as well as anger.

"Hey, why don't you explain to me why I belong to the elementary?"

"Huh? You're not?" I questioned her sincerely.

"That does it, let's fight!"

Megumin lunged at me and swung her frail arms.

She struck me multiple times until she almost vomited out her food from the sudden exercise…

They hurt but not hurtful enough to retaliate…she really is just a child.

After calming down a bit, Megumin said,

"I'm turning fourteen next year so you should treat me like an adult already."

"…So how come you are in the school? The school still don't offer junior high curriculum."

"Huhuhu, it is the will of the world that I be bestowed with great intellect that leaves everyone in awe!"

"So?"

"So yeah I skipped grades and got a full scholar."

"Wow."

Despite her antics, for her to skip grades in one of the most prestigious campuses in the world is quite a feat, not to mention the full scholar. In such a young age too!

"Hey, so what's with being the greatest wielder of explosion?" asked Aqua.

"My birth is designated by the alignment of the stars! It is my destiny to conjure the greatest explosion of all time and space!"

"So?" I said.

"So umm I invent explosives. Though still weak, it will one day reach the peak of all explosives!"

"So you are like the second coming of Kim Il Sung or something?"

"Wha- no! Don't compare me to some power hungry nut job like him!"

"You're quite the nut job yourself."

"What do you mean!? Do you dare test how crazy I am?"

"Sure, not like you really do have bombs anyway."

"What did you just say?! You may insult me but you may not question the integrity of my being the wielder of explosion!"

She paused for a while as if in conflict, then she said in determination,

"How about I show you the power of my explosion?"

"F-For real?"

* * *

So we're here in one of the open areas of the Akuseru College. Quite away from the high school campus and close to the college area.

"So why are we here?"

"I can't detonate my explosives anywhere as I please or else I will be branded as a terrorist. I have been given permission to detonate my explosives in the campus under controlled situation."

"I see…"

I guess she do have some common sense, after all.

"Now witness the power that would one day topple the mountains and blow up the moon!"

Never mind.

"Darkness shrouded in light,

Frenzied blaze clad in night,

In my clan's name, reveal the fall of thine origin.

I summon the root of thy power,

the power so fearsome it lies hidden in the kingdom of ash!"

She really is a chuuni for chanting something like that when it's completely unnecessary.

But I recognize that chant, it's from one of the games I played.

"Explosion!" shouted Megumin as she hurled the bomb she held to the sky.

Wait, isn't it too close-

*BOOOM*

Crimson fire erupted out, sending whirlwinds all around.

The birds flew away, the ground quaked slightly, and we were blown away, literally.

After it subsided, I got up and shouted at the crazy girl,

"Hey! Are you insane!? That was way too close! Why did you just up and threw your bomb!? I thought we were gonna place it and back away?"

"I told you, I am the greatest wielder of explosion! Explosion is like my child, I want to see it up close!"

"Is something wrong with your head!? You almost killed us all! You mad scientist!"

"What!? A mad scientist?! I'm not- hey that actually sounds cool!"

For real? Am I having the same headache I'm having from Aqua?

"That was amazing! Though it was quite dangerous, I still applaud you for the amount of passion you placed into it to be able to summon such explosion at your age!"

"You understand my passion?"

"Yes! Why not? Let me show you my passion too! Nature's Beauty!"

Aqua opened her fan which let out water that painted rainbows.

"W-wow!" exclaimed Megumin artificially, as if pretending to be impressed to a joke she heard before.

Aqua, being Aqua, didn't pick up the clue and held her chest high with a proud face.

"A-Awesome! Though my explosion is definitely amazing, your magic doesn't lose!"

They shared compliments as they gave each other a thumbs up.

So it's true that birds of the same feather flock together…

"Since you showed me such a nice trick, I will show you one more of my explosion!"

Oh crap.

"Oh world heed my call.

Manifest thy fury before me.

I am Megumin, destroyer of all!

Toast in cheers of my alliance with my newfound comrade!

Let thy hammer fall for all to see!"

I began running away even before she started her chant, hoping to not be blown away again.

"Explosion!"

She tossed her bomb in the air.

Then, the violent crimson fire erupted out-

Huh? There is no fire? Hah? What is this on my face? Slime?

Déjà vu.

Immediately, I heard stepping noises rapidly approaching me,

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"Yes, I'm- uwa! Hey thot! What are you doing!?" I said as Aqua, who ran up to me, began touching me all over the place.

"I can feel it! I can feel with every fiber of my being that this is THAT SLIME! Please give me your repellent! Please, I beg of you!" begged Aqua in desperation as tears began running down her eyes.

I handed her the repellent which she sprayed all over herself.

It's only natural for her to be so desperate after what she went through…

"Excuse me but please don't use it all on yourself, I need it too," said Megumin.

Aqua paused then slowly turned to her.

"It seems your life is already forfeit, my lady," said Aqua with a courteous smile.

"Pardon?" questioned Megumin while returning the courtesy with her own.

"URYAAA!"

""AHH!"" both me and Megumin shouted.

I just stood there witnessing my custom made repellent being violently thrown to the sky.

"Why did you threw it!? Are you crazy!?"

"Ohohohoho, I can't hear you squeaking over the quaking of the ground."

"How cruel!?"

Aqua then grabbed the head of Megumin.

"Is this the mouth that said cruel? Even though you subjected me to the sea of cockroaches!?"

"I didn't do it! You did it! You stole my failed explosive!"

"I don't care! Someone needs to pay for my suffering and you shall be the one."

"N-NOOOOOO! Anything but the cockroaches!"

So much for your alliance…

Aqua then turned to the back of Megumin and held her from behind after she tossed to me something.

It was the lucky steal bag.

"WAHAA! Don't you do it Kazuma! Don't do it! Or else I'll call the police for harassment!"

"Kazuma don't you want a sweet little revenge on this little demon? _"You look quite the demon yourself."_ Oh my, it's going to be too sweet I forgot to laugh! _Teeheehee!_ _"Aren't you laughing already?"_" said Aqua as she deviously laughed.

"Cut it out Aqua, it's just as she says, it was your fault for stealing her bomb-"

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

_Hello darkness my old friend~_

"EEEEEKK!" I cried out as I cowered in fear.

"W-What is that! What is that!? What is it?!" I shouted in terror.

Instead of the quaking, the darkness was protruding from all directions and was converging atop us. It blanketed the sun, darkening the world, and was now falling down on us.

They were a sea of bees manifesting as hammer of justice striking down judgement on us.

"OH NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!" I cried out as I ran toward Aqua.

"Aqua! Lady Aqua! Save me! SAVE ME!" I begged her with desperation as I clung to my only hope with my knees on the ground, effectively sandwiching Megumin.

"HIYAAAAA! You perv! You've finally shown your true colors!"

"W-What's gotten into you Kazuma? Calm down!"

My ear caught what they were saying but they were immediately vomited out through the other.

"AARRGH! NOT MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAARGH! AAAAAAARGHHH!" I cried out without end as my traumas flashed before me over and over again as the buzzing noise drummed my ear.

"They are coming! The bees are coming! Somebody do something!" Megumin begged for help as her end was nigh.

"Ah! Aqua! Do your trick! Do the water thing!"

"What do you mean the water thing?! It's called nature's beauty you little brat!"

"Little brat?! Fine! Let me show you how I handle this like an adul- hiyaahaha! Stop it! Stop tickling me with your head!" said Megumin as she grabbed my head, which was pressed against her stomach.

"Lady Aqua! Lady Aqua! I beg of you! Please do the water thing!"

"OH! Even you called it the water thi- h-hey! Stop pulling down my pant! Ok, ok, I got it! I will do Nature's Beauty so cut it out!"

After the Nature's Beauty that washed us as well as the slime on the floor, the bees slowly dissipated along with the fearful buzzing noise.

Perhaps, due to the water or her small body, Megumin was able to slip out despite our hold.

She was quite desperate, wanting to depart from us…or from Aqua.

"UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!"

Immediately after her departure, Aqua vomited rainbows all over me…again.

However, I didn't care. I only held her tightly in fear.

"Hey stop pressing my sto- urp- UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

This is the first time in my life to shower in rainbows but I didn't care.

If I let go of her now, I felt that I would be consumed by the darkness.

"Let go of me Kazuma! I have to get my revenge- urp! UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Revenge? That indeed does sound sweet!

I smiled deviously, overwriting my fear with anticipation for sweet little revenge.

I turned to see Megumin who was now hurriedly running away from us.

I raised the bag and laughed maliciously as I placed my hand in it.

"STEAAAAAAAAAL!" I shouted to let her know of her imminent downfall.

Megumin stopped and dropped on her knees. She sat there while covering her lower parts as she slowly turned her head toward me in hesitation as if in fear of realizing the truth.

I took out my hand and on it was her black panty.

"Huhuhu…hehehe…jackpot! HYAT HAAAAAA!" I shouted as I flourished her panty all around for the world to see.

"Hahahahaha! Go! Go! Kazuma! You cheeky brat you deserve what was coming to yo- UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"P-Please stop! That is one of the only two panties I got…please return it to me!"

"UWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hehehehe, HAHAHAHAHA! YEEE HAWWW!" her plea was unheard as I madly waved her panty in celebration of her nether regions' freedom.

"Stop this instant you criminal scum! Don't you fear the police!?"

"Police? POLICE!? PLEASE! Do call! However, I will make sure you follow me! I will make the authorities know of you being the culprit behind the cockroach and electrocuting the river!"

"U-Uuuuuuuuuu _hic_ I-I get it. I was wrong. I apologize. So please return my panty already…" said Megumin as she began crying.

Crap, I'm actually having fun with my revenge. Her soft sobs are but a melody to my ear!

Nothing can be more satisfying than the villain to get what she deserved.

"HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"W-What is this? What kind of horror befell those two!?"

I was cut short by an indignant voice of a woman.

"What savagery have you done!?"

"Urk!"

It was a tall woman, wearing kendo bogu without her helmet, which displayed her alluring face and her flowing blonde hair that was tied up.

"Uwaaaaaaaaaaa!" perhaps not being able to hold out any longer or due to the presence of an opportunity for revenge, Megumin cried out loudly.

"Gasp! That bag and panty you're holding…you must be the rumored panty thief!"

"What kind of rumor is that!?"

I objected at her absurd rumor.

However, my question was unheard as the woman approached me and grabbed my collar threateningly.

"How dare you hurt my dear friend, Eris?!"

Oh…

"You shameless brute, how could you strip her in front of the public!?"

I couldn't find a word to retort because it's just as she says…I stripped her in front of the whole high school students.

"You fiend! I'll call the police to bring justice!"

I felt threatened. I imagined the possibility of my stern father disowning me, my brother calling me with some derogatory labels for eternity…and my mother cutting contacts with me…

However, the pitiful face of Eris also flashed in my head.

She is right, I deserve punishment for what I've done.

If it can alleviate some of the guilt I fee-

"Hey~ I'm calling the police~ I-I'm really going to call the police~"

"…"

I stayed silent waiting for my rightful punishment.

"Hey! I'm going to call the police! Don't you hear me!? I'm not joking!" threatened the woman as she shook me along with my shirt.

What's up with this chick?

"Just call the police already!" I retorted.

"What!?" questioned the woman as if in shock.

"Stop threatening me and call the police! I deserve it," I said dejectedly.

"How could you be so honest!? Why can't you fight back like all brutes should!?"

"Why should I!? And I'm not a brute!"

"Can't you take the hint? Are you some dense anime protagonist that can't notice an obvious invite!?"

"What kind of invite!?"

What the hell? Did I do something wrong?

"Even though I threatened you multiple times…if you truly are a brute, you should have used your bag and stole my panty then defile it with whatever your shameless whims bring you to do! Like you did to that child!"

"Why would I do that to you!? I only did it to her for revenge!"

"You fiend! Stop giving me excuses! You should have said, 'Kekeke, you still have a lot of clothes for me to steal…let me shave those away piece by piece, slowly exposing your flesh to the public!' You had the obligation to seal my fate with the snap of your camera and black mail me to be your sex slave! Then subject my body to all manner of pornographic acts! Oh the horror! What should I do!?"

"…"

I was speechless. She was going haywire with her delusions like a wildfire.

Look, Megumin stopped crying…even Aqua, who was still busy vomiting, seemed to be shocked vomitless.

Also…why is her face flushed? Why is she panting? Why does she seem so excited?

"Staring at me with those filthy eyes, you have finally succumbed to your lust haven't you!?"

"No I haven't! I'm just speechless at your depraved delusions you degenerate!"

"D-Depraved? Degenerate? _Kuk! Kuah!" _cried out the woman as if in climax as she let go of me.

She's getting off on it! She's a real masochist!

"What a sadist! Not only are you wretched to the core but your foul mouth is such a blis- tering pain!"

She was about to say something else didn't she?

"Very well, if I can keep your vile touch away from those two, I shall take on your wretched fetishes with my body!"

"Hey! Don't come near me!"

"Father, I'm sorry. Your daughter is about to be defiled by the famed brute but worry not for my heart, he shall never claim it!"

The degenerate approached me and began taking off her kendo bogu and stood there with her arms wide open.

"What's taking you so long!? Do it! NOW!"

Fuck this, I'm bolting off!

"Ah- wait! Why are you running!?" cried the degenerate.

"Uwa!" I shouted as some kind of wild beast clung to my back!

"Don't you leave with my panty you perv!" it was Megumin, clinging to my back as she began choking my neck.

I immediately threw the panty to her face, which lessened her hold on my neck as she had to grab it.

"Get off now!" I demanded immediately.

"Hey! That's not how you treat a woman's under- you stink!"

"Damn it! It's not me but Aqua! It's her rainbows!"

"Hey…don't leave me," said Aqua weakly as she limped toward my path, eventually blocking it.

Her vomit spree seemed to have subsided but she clearly didn't have the strength to flee.

"Shit!"

I lifted her and carried her on my shoulder as I resumed my flight.

Just how many lifting do you need me to do!?

"Hey, if you carry me like that- urp- UWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"AHHHH! Her rainbows! Her rainbooowws!" cried out Megumin in alarm.

"Damn it! What kind of bad luck do I have!? Why are all the women I meet have to be so deranged!?"

"Don't leave me! I haven't received your lashes yet! If you so desire, you may vomit on me too!"

"Dear God! They are all crazy! CRAAZZZYYYYYYY!"

I shouted as I ran away in utter frustration of the reality before me.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Sorry guys, I have been busy moving houses so I couldn't find the time to write until now. Anyhow, I hope you guys had fun reading this.

"It seems your life is already forfeit, my lady."

"Pardon?"

This segment came from one of the best comments in this youtube video watch?v=dNQs_Bef_V8 featuring 'Omae wa mou shindeiru' meme. Shinichi Kudo is his nickname. So credits to him.

**nhehvnukl **and **Different**: my feedback to your comments is in the previous chapter. In the updated Author's Note.

**KeyOfVoid**: Thanks. Also, I agree on the meme. The trend is too fast that it dies right after it comes out.

**Guest1**: Thanks for the feedback. Weird but funny…now I know I'm on the right track.

**Edit**: The "Yes, I'm Kazuma" joke never clicked with me in english so I always forget that this is an important part of Kazuma. Anyway I've added it to make it more close to the canon.

**P.S.** Belated Happy Memorial Day USA and much respects to the veterans and the sacrificed men.

* * *

****Notice**: **The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.


	5. Chapter 4 Gift the Fool with Redemption

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

The sun blazes the earth despite the Autumn's creep. It is locked for a season, not allowing a peep. The love song of the summer, which replayed endlessly to the people's bummer, had long ceased to the people's cheer.

There is one wind that bypassed the fiery wall. It was cool, signaling the Autumn's march. It speeds up, breezing through the earth's larch. Eventually, its march ended, becoming the first to fall.

"Ah…I needed that," I said in the comfort of the breeze that just passed by.

It was like a single droplet of water running down my parched throat. However, it was but a drop thrown to the desert.

The scorching heat enveloped my body, expelling sweat that soaks my track suit.

*Scratch* *Scratch*

Each stroke of my mop cleanses the pool's floor, causing it to dazzle in the sizzling rays.

Each strike cut away the dirt, however, it is a double edged sword, cutting away at my sanity as well.

*BOMP*

I fell to the ground with my back on it.

"That bitch! Where the hell is she? Why isn't she here to do work!?" I complained.

"Stop throwing a tantrum like a child and keep cleaning," complained Megumin as well.

"Yeah, at least, I don't have to be recognized as a child at first glan-" I was cut short as water fell on me.

"Mr. Pervert I demand an elaborate explanation of what you meant?" said Megumin as she held the hose.

"Don't be so cheeky kidd- hey! Stop that! Lady Megumin! Please stop that!" I compromised at the chanting Megumin by labeling her a title she doesn't deserve.

Just how mad do you have to be to brandish a bomb point blank?

"Seriously, there are things you shouldn't mention to women you know?"

I didn't reply and simply stared at her in contemplation.

"…Wait…why are you here again?"

"Wow…having a heat stroke? You are the one who told Wiz about me being the culprit behind the cockroach incident…after you ran away from that…strange woman."

Right…I was so frustrated that I had to tell Wiz about her so she can serve some hours like we did.

"Say pervert like you did to me."

"I don't want anyone to have the same title as yours. You are special, the one who befits the title the most."

"Oh? Wanna experience again how much of a pervert I can be?" I said while I held the bag I never returned.

"Urk…I apologize so please don't steal my panty again."

What followed was silence. I just laid there, basking in the sun.

"Still, I never thought you would not mention about the panty...," I mentioned my thought.

"You didn't told her about me electrocuting the river so consider it even."

"Right…so you admit it huh…"

Megumin laid where she stood and held the hose against herself to bath in the cool water.

I saw her clothes going wet, slowly revealing her hidden flesh.

"W-What are you looking at pervert?!" said Megumin as she quickly covered her body.

"…Sigh."

"AHH!"

What followed was the whines of the ferocious tomboy.

* * *

"Ms. Wiz…we've cleaned the pool," I said while caressing my sore head.

"…I see…" said Wiz while staring at the bulge on my head.

Seriously, I never thought she would just smack my head with the mop…

"Here."

"Thank you…"

The cold, cold Wiz kindly gave me a bag of ice.

Seriously, other than Eris, she is the kindest woman I've ever met.

Aqua? More like Asthma.

She is just too arrogant and troublesome for what she's worth.

Megumin? She is decent enough but her madness overwhelms any good impression I have of her.

That deranged woman? Let's not talk about it…

"Kazuma, you are hopeless," said Wiz coldly.

"Huh?" I was stunned at her cruel words.

Hopeless? Hopeless…

Numerous sins passed through my head.

NEET life, Eris, Aqua…nah, Megumin…not counted.

Almost permanently castrating my social life and stripping my benefactor, I really am hopeless huh.

"Look at this, this is the assessment you took when you returned."

Oh.

This is what she meant…

Seriously, she should choose her words.

She almost kicked me down the endless well that is NEET life.

"They are…bad," I said worriedly as I saw my scores.

"Bad is an understatement, how did you even get into this school with these kind of scores?" said Megumin as she peeked into the papers.

"Hey! No one gave you permission to look at them!" I shouted as Megumin averted her gaze immediately after.

"Kazuma, at this rate, there's no chance for you to make it out of this term alive," Wiz gave me a death sentence.

…

She's right, there's no chance for me to get an acceptable grade if nothing is done…

"Luckily, I was able to get a tutor who is willing to help you for free so you better take the offer before she changes her mind."

"For real!?"

For free!?

"I suggest that you don't take the offer. There is no such thing as free in the world," interjected Megumin.

True, there's no way anyone would want to help me for free when my scores are this bad.

"I can guarantee her competence and integrity," replied Wiz.

If Wiz says that much, I guess I can trust whoever this tutor is.

*Brr-*

"Hello?"

…That was quick…

She just answered a call in less than a second…

"…Yes, oh the student I mentioned to you before is currently here…wai-"

Wiz put away her phone upon realizing that the caller hanged up.

"The tutor…is coming right now."

"What? Now?"

"…Yes. She seemed eager to meet you."

Huh? Why would she be so eager to teach a failing student for free?

Could it be that she truly is a saint?

Well, if there is a bitch like Aqua, there must be a saint out there too.

"Why don't you just sit down on the couch and wait for her?"

"Sure."

I sat down on the couch and Megumin sat beside me.

"Why are you still here?"

"I want to see who this tutor is…," paused Megumin.

She then brought her left hand over to her left eye, covering it.

"Heheh, I had to go through many training and hardships to finally obtain my _magic_ _eye_," said Megumin emphasizing what she obtained.

She then lifted her hand, stretching it to the side, while standing up abruptly with her foot on the couch.

"Hwahaha! The time has come for my _magic eye_ to shine! I shall use it to detect any fraud-"

"Get your filthy shoe off the couch," said Wiz threateningly with a glare.

"…Yes, I'm sorry…" said Megumin in fear.

I guess even the Chihuahua cowers before the Lioness.

I sat awkwardly staring into the wall.

Megumin sat beside me with stooped shoulders and her head down.

Silence reigned the faculty room. Only the typing noise can be heard consistently.

Today is the sixth day off…why is she still working?

I stared at Wiz, whose gaze was fixated on the laptop she was working in.

Her bright skin was brimming with life, her brown eyes were still cold but beautiful nonetheless, and her long smooth chestnut hair that draped down her back softly waved in the wind.

Of course, not to forget to mention those enormous boobs that I would wish to patch with extreme jiggle physics.

…She really is gorgeous. It's just such a shame, her face seems to have lost its nerves.

"I sense a rude thought…," said Wiz as her dumb hair stood up as if picking up a signal.

I immediately looked away but for some reason, I can feel her death glare poking my cheek.

Seriously, is her dumb hair some kind of antennae!?

I kept my eyes averted but it was no use. I could feel her death glare turning into a death ray...

"M-Ms. Wiz! Umm…why are you still working on a day off?" I said hurriedly in an attempt to alleviate her ray.

"…Sigh…I don't need to be here but who else would watch over you if I won't?," said Wiz as if saying something very obvious.

"!"

I was surprised at her unexpected words.

So she's here because of me…? On her day off…?

…

Damn it! My virgin heart, stop beating! I already have Eris…! Although I question if there is any possibility for fruition…

Nevertheless, I felt my face flushing fast and my heart accelerating its beat.

I was overwhelmed at the kindness that I seldom received.

As I held my head down to somehow calm down, I felt a hand touch my forehead.

It was Wiz.

"Are you alright? Your face is oddly red…you might be having a fever…"

"…"

I couldn't say anything as my mouth was shut tight from the sudden touch of a woman.

Snap, my NEET life never prepared me for a situation like this!

What do I do, what do I do!? Wait, I have to say something first!

"A-Ah…uh…umm…ah…!"

"Pfft!"

I heard a laughter that was held back right before its explosion…

"Hey, there is nothing funny about being sick," Wiz criticized Megumin.

"Pff! Miss, he is not sick. He is just flexing his virginity."

"!"

That brat!

I-I'm not- I am...

My brain tried its best to come up with a sound retort but my racing heart kept it from accomplishing its goal.

"Flexing? What do you mean?"

"Oh it's just a slang. It means showing off."

"!"

It wasn't me this time, it was Wiz. Her dumb hair stood up as if in realization.

Her face flushed instantly and she immediately lifted her hand away with her gaze averted.

I was surprised at her reaction but I couldn't give any comment.

We just remained silent with our faces flushed red.

"…I am very smart so I could tell…you are still a virgin aren't you?"

"…! N-Nonsense. H-How could a woman my age not have any experience in that regard?"

"...I suggest you get a man before you become a spinster-"

"That is none of your concern," Wiz briefly retorted as her flushed face was drained of color while giving Megumin a death glare.

"O-Oh, is that so? I-I will keep it to myself then," said Megumin with a forced smile.

"As long as you understand," said Wiz still with her death glare.

O-Oh.

I guess everyone has their own concern.

Even for Megumin…

"I didn't know you had such a harsh background…," I said in pity of Megumin as I put my hand on her shoulder...

"Huh? How did you know?" questioned Megumin in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I should have noticed earlier…even though your villagers are weird, they are not weird enough to detonate a bomb so up close…I'm sorry for being so dense…," I said in sorry as tears began forming.

"H-Huh? I would usually get mad at your insult…but why are you looking at me as if I had the worst of fate? Is being poor that bad of a deal?"

"I-I see…so that's why…," I said in understanding as my tears began falling.

I averted my gaze in shame for not realizing her obvious tragedy much earlier...

"Megumin, if you need help, you can always come to me. I am still your teacher, I will help you with the best of my abilities," said Wiz with a kind smile.

"W-What's with you two…why are you two so kind all of a sudden!? I'm sure there must be some kind of misunderstanding! Tell me…explain to me what's in your head!" Megumin demanded me.

"_Hic!_ Calm down Megumin. I now know you had it so rough. Don't try to remember it. I will make sure to suppo-"

"Just tell me already!"

My mouth couldn't open to voice the harsh reality.

"You must have sold your body to pay the bills for your household…just come to me anytime, I will always be there for you," said Wiz.

I nodded at her explanation as it coincided with what was in my head.

Megumin seemed shocked as her jaw dropped.

"W-What in explosion's name…I won't sell my body just because of hunger! I mean, how did you two came to such conclusion!?"

"Well…you made fun of our virginity so I thought you were already experienced. Considering your age, it must have not happened in a frivolous way. Maybe it was a tragedy that ultimately shaped your abnormal personality. It was confirmed when you mentioned you were poor," I explained my thought process.

Wiz nodded this time at my explanation.

"W-W-Wha- I'm still a virgin! I understand that I shouldn't have made fun of you two but did you really have to make me a whore!? You two are analyzing too much! Also, let us discuss about your problem with my personality shall we?" cried out Megumin in anger.

"O-Oh, is that so?" I replied awkwardly.

*BAM*

"Sorry for the wait!"

The door opened and a gorgeous blonde beauty ent-

Aw shit, here we go again.

"Kazuma, there you are!"

That woman approached quickly and stood before me.

Silky blonde hair tied to a ponytail, smooth white skin and deep blue eyes…not to mention her sexy body, emphasized in her professor outfit…from just the exterior, she is my ideal woman but the thing inside that shell gives me a shiver.

"Nice to meet you again. You may have already been told but I am your newly appointed tutor!" said the woman with excitement.

"See? I told you. There is nothing free in this world," whispered Megumin.

Indeed…

"I don't remember ever accepting you as my tutor…"

"_Kuk! Hah hah_ e-even though I'm offering myself for free…for free! Yet I'm still rejected! _Hah~_" said the woman while panting heavily.

I want to leave already…

"Kazuma, are you seriously rejecting her offer? I am certain that without her, you have no chance of passing the tests for this term," said Wiz with a questioning look.

"I don't question her competence but her integrity is highly defective!"

"_Hyaah~!"_

"Are you implying my judgement is wrong?" said Wiz with a death glare.

'Yes, your judgement is definitely wrong this time,' my thought wasn't voiced before the grim reaper.

"I-I am a Catholic. I strive to be moral and righteous. If you see a problem, please tell me so I can fi-" the woman was interrupted as I placed my hand on her shoulder.

I gave the same pitying look to her as tears began forming again.

"You had it rough too huh?" I said as my voice shook in tears.

"This again…," said Megumin as she facepalmed.

"…," Wiz remained silent with confusion.

The woman was befuddled. She didn't know what was going on as she questioned,

"W-What do you mean? Why are you looking at me so pityingly? D-Did something horrible happen to me that I'm unaware of!?" questioned the woman with excitement.

It's already too late…!

"Those detestable priests must have done horrible things to you…! No wonder you are so deranged!" I exclaimed in grief.

"Wait…that's no-"

"I see…so that's what happened…you poor thing…," joined in Megumin as she gave the woman a sad smile.

"I won't run away anymore. I will help you overcome your traumas," I said encouragingly.

"I shall use my intelligence to assist you in the best way possible!" proclaimed Megumin.

"Wait! Listen to me, that's not the case! You two are misunderstanding!"

The woman explained herself.

"So you are a Catholic but not of the Vatican?"

"Yes. Even though I'm a Catholic- no it's precisely because I'm a Catholic that I cannot condone those who defile children and fellow Christians!" declared the woman.

"See? My judgement isn't wrong," said Wiz.

"Although I don't believe in your religion, I admire your stance on this matter," said Megumin.

'I agree too but don't be so naïve you two, she's still a degenerate,' I kept my thought to myself.

Also, don't share handshakes…

Sigh, I guess weirdoes attract another weirdo…

"Just to make it clear, I didn't have any sort of tragedy you two imagined. I can guarantee my virgi-"

"So you're a degenerate through and through," I voiced my conclusion.

"Ah! You're right! She's still a weirdo!" agreed Megumin, seemingly reaching the same conclusion.

"_Kyung!"_ climaxed the degenerate.

As we stared at her in poker face, she writhed in pleasure with heavy panting.

She is a total freak-

"!"

I was startled as I felt death aura enveloping me.

"You two…don't make fun of my friend...," said Wiz menacingly.

We turned to Wiz who had her death ray shooting at us.

She slowly approached us with each step seemingly shaking the ground.

Oh shit! This is the scariest Wiz I've ever saw!

We both backed away till we reached the wall.

I tried looking left and right for an escape route but there were none.

"B-But it's true! She's a weirdo!" retorted Megumin.

"_Hya!" _an obligatory squeaking by the weirdo.

"Rubbish. She's the most upright person I've ever saw," said Wiz.

Seriously!? She doesn't see her defects!?

Wiz still approached us and I couldn't come up with anything to calm her down.

We couldn't do anything but hug each other as we cowered in fear.

"W-Wiz! I'm fine! We're just playing!" the woman said in an attempt to stop Wiz.

"Playing? But it didn't seem like that to me…"

"No, it was indeed a play," said the woman with straight face.

…To call it a play…are you really a Catholic?

They stared into each other for a while until Wiz sighed,

"If you say so…," said Wiz after calming down.

We both sighed in relief as the reaper sheathed her scythe.

"Anyway, Kazuma, can you consider it one more time?"

"Sure and no."

"_Hyan!_ E-Even I would like some sincere answer…b-but this works too…_hah~"_

The woman then kept nagging me to accept her…

For a beauty like her to do that would be a dream come true…only if she wasn't such a freak.

"Don't you have manners? You keep asking me to be your student but you never even told me your name," I said shamelessly without ever offering my name myself.

"Oh I'm sorry. Look at my manners…my name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina. I would prefer that you call me by my nickname, Darkness."

"Alright, Lalatina I, Satou Kazuma, hereby formally reject your offer."

"Please don't call me using that name! Also, give it more thought!" retorted Lalatina.

"Oh it's already late," said Wiz.

She's right. It's already 5PM.

"Kazuma, why don't you go home. Take a rest and make your decision with a sound mind."

"Ok…"

I doubt my answer would change though…

"By the way, go visit Aqua. If she doesn't attend tomorrow, she would have to offer service during her school days."

"Me? I don't even know where she lives."

"She lives near your home…haven't you two met each other before you came back?"

Oh yeah…when we first met, they were coming from the direction of my home…

"Yeah we did…but do I really have to? She's already a high school student so she should take care of her own affairs."

"Well, I heard she lives with Eris…"

"Oh…"

I see…

This is my chance.

"You fiend! You are plotting to strip her again aren't you!?"

"No, I'm not!"

Sigh, is she ever tired?

* * *

I was heading toward the bus station I've been using for years going to and fro my junior high school and the Akuseru College.

I wasn't alone. Yami was always beside me, sharing our time at every opportunity.

Now I remember…Yami used to look so beautiful in the sunset…

I forgot about it…rather, I wished to forget it because of that sunset.

But now the sunset is replaced with the dawn…I don't feel the necessity to forget it.

Sigh…nevertheless, I'm alone now…going home all by myself…

"You are unexpectedly quiet for a brute."

Yup, I'm all alone. The one talking to me? Nope, it is not counted.

"_Hah~_ being ignored is quite pleasurable too!"

"Won't you shut your mouth!? Don't use me to satisfy your lusts!" I shouted as her wildfire caught my ass.

"I-It's not my fault! If you answered me, then I wouldn't have found pleasure in your abuse!"

"Shut up!"

Shoot, the people are giving me this suspicious look as they whispered,

"Did I hear that right? He is abusing her!?"

"She's already lost…that brute defiled her body!"

"Shouldn't we call the police?"

"I-It's not like that!"

My claim was unheard as they whispered with greater suspicion.

"_Hah hah_ they are looking at me…they're witnessing my wretched state! _Hyan!_ To be publicly shamed…is such a bliss! Going along with you was the right choice after all-"

I ran.

If I stayed any longer, the bystander will really call the police…also, I didn't want to be associated with that degenerate.

"Wait for me! You said you won't run away from me anymore- is this how it feels to be left behind? _Kyuun~_" panted the woman as she chased after me.

"Shut the fuck up! Don't give people the wrong idea!"

We are getting close to the station.

Please, please! Let there be a bus in the station-

There is!

I quickly boarded the bus and demanded the driver,

"Sir! Step the pedal. There is a deviant chasing after me!"

"Huh? Are you pulling a prank?"

"Is this the face of someone making a joke?!"

"I-It is not…ok then, let's go."

Thankfully, the driver understood as he closed the door-

What is that hand? Why is it holding onto the door? How the hell did that frail hand forced the door open!?

"You can't run away from me," said the deviant.

"EEEEEK! Someone save me! She is gonna violate me! She is gonna rape me!" I played the victim.

Well, one way or another I would have been a victim anyway.

"S-Shut it! Stop spreading falsehood!"

"That's rich!"

Just how unaware is she of herself!?

"Save me! Somebody save me! She is here! The deviant is he-"

*SMACK*

My plea was interrupted as the deviant smacked my head.

Damn bitch! If you're gonna play like this…!

I held my head with stunned look as I limped a few steps,

"M-My head, I have been hit by the dev-." I intentionally cut my word in short as I intentionally fell to the ground.

*BOMP*

""KYAAAAA!""

The passengers were frightened as the poor boy fell.

I just laid there faking my being faint.

"T-This is a misunderstanding! I didn't even hit him that hard! I bet he is just faking it!"

The bitch helplessly offered some explanation to no avail as the people whispered among themselves in terror.

Some were even calling the police.

Karma bitch!

"Very well, let me demonstrate to you all that he is faking it."

Huh? She sounds serious…what will she do to me?

Heh! She is still a girl. I can withstand anything she throws at me-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_ah~"_

The Tom cat possessed me as I flew up in the air. I held my butt…butthole to be more exact while screaming like it's the end of the world.

It somehow felt good at the en- what the hell am I thinking!?

"See? He was just faking it," said the bitch as she smiled with a tinge of blush.

She held her hands together to shape a gun…did she poke me with that!?

"You were pulling a prank after all…"

I heard an angry voice behind me…

It was the angry driver…

* * *

*VRRROOOOM*

The bus left us as we were seated on the station's bench.

Damn it, she has to ruin everything…is she Asthma or something!?

"H-Hey umm I didn't intend to but it seems I caused you a trouble…I apologize for that," said pseudo-Asthma as she bowed her head

Nevermind, Asthma would never apologize.

"Seriously, why do you have to be so troublesome? I bet you don't have friends for how troublesome you are."

"Actually, I do have many friends…well, most of them are not that close to me…," said Lalatina with a shade of sadness.

"…," I remained silent as I felt the atmosphere turning serious.

So even a deviant has her own concern…

"Say…why are you so dying to teach me? Is it your lust?"

"Surely, it plays a large part…"

So she admits it…

"But I'm envious of your friendship too…"

Huh?

"You three looked so close without any restraint. Even though you stripped the child off her panty, the next few days, you two are together again…"

Hah?

"I suppose…I wanted to have that kind of relationship…where you can openly voice your opinion without falling apart. Together with you and your friends, I think we could achieve it."

What is this woman saying? Is she having another delusion?

I wanted to give her my piece of mind but I couldn't tell her…not in front of her serious face.

What's gotten into her all of a sudden?

"Kazuma, would you please consider my offer once more?" begged Lalatina as she smiled sadly.

She is a freak in the core but…I really need a tutor after all…

"…Sigh…I will give you a chance…d-don't mistake it as my accepting you! I-I'm simply gonna try you! If you are useless then I'll just dump you that's all!"

"T-Thank you!" said Lalatina as she smiled in joy.

"!"

Damn, even though she is a degenerate, her look is my type! That sneak attack was too effective!

I looked away as I didn't want her to notice my blush.

"Well then, I shall take my leave."

"Huh? Aren't you gonna follow me?"

I turned to her in question.

"I lost the reason to. You are not an unreasonable brute after all."

So I'm still a brute…

She stood up and started walking off.

"As your tutor, let me give you an advice," said Lalatina as she stopped.

"Eris is forgiving so if you apologize to her sincerely, she will surely forgive you," she said with a smile.

"…"

Just how much of a virgin are you!? Hey, stop beating! She is that! THAT! Stop beating!

Her advice left me bewildered as she finally walked off-

"_Hah~"_

Nevermind.

I was brought to clarity by her panting…perhaps from not retuning a thanks, basically ignoring her.

"Sigh…"

Even so…she is not that bad…compared to Asthma that is.

I stared off into the sunset till the next bus finally arrived.

* * *

*DING DONG*

The doorbell rang after I pressed the button.

I'm quite surprised Asthma lived so close to my home…only a 10-minute walk away…

Their house is quite big…the biggest one around here. They must be rich.

"Geez, Aqua! What took you so long to buy groce-"

"H-Hi…," I said awkwardly to the petrified Eris.

*BAM*

"W-Wait! I'm not here to do anything to you!"

"You're lying! Go away before I call the police!"

"No wait! Please don't call the police! I'm just here to apologize!"

There was no reply until,

*CREAK*

"You're not lying?" asked Eris with a tinge of blush as she poked herself out of the slightly opened door.

"I-I'm not."

"Then give me a bit of time…to prepare."

I nodded.

T-That was cute...and quite revealing…

Her hot pants displayed her alluring smooth white legs and her shirt fit her top so well it managed to emphasize her curves…except that place though…

I wonder whose is smaller…Eris or Megumin?

As I contemplated over the impossible geometry, the door slowly opened.

"Y-You may come in now," said Eris in a white one piece…coupled with her pads.

"T-Thanks for having me…"

I entered the house.

"Please follow me."

"Ok."

I nodded and obediently followed her.

She led me to the living room.

"Please sit here. I will bring a tea."

I sat and looked around the room.

It's quite impressive.

Spacious, coupled with the modern interior design…but what's best of them all is that it's clean! Even with that Asthma!

Eris soon came back with a set of tea and offered me a cup.

Ideal! This is how it's supposed to go! No whiny bitch, no explosion, and no weird fetish!

We both took a sip and enjoyed the taste.

"So…about your apology…," said Eris with a straight face.

"Y-Yes."

I took a deep breath.

I thought I would be panicking by now…but somehow I'm calm.

I'm ready.

"Eris, I'm sorry for stripping your panty before the whole high school students, faculties, and others, revealing your privates to the whole publ-"

"Y-You don't need to go into details!"

Huh? Did I say something wrong?

"U-Umm I just want to apologize for what I did that day. Although it's partly your fault for bringing an amateur. Quite honestly, I thought it was all a setup to bully m-"

"Are you really apologizing!?"

Oh crap, I'm doing something wrong!

"D-Don't worry I made sure to wash my hands rather than smelling it to death like some fag-"

"What are you saying!?"

I'm really hopeless aren't I!? I can't even apologize properly!

"Geez, all I want is an honest apology, you know?"

"I-I see."

I took a deep breath again.

I just have to be honest…

I just have to be honest.

"I love you."

"!"

"!"

Eris was stunned followed by me.

Our faces immediately ignited as we averted our gazes.

…shit. Shit. SHit. SHIt. SHIT!

FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

What kind of confession was that!?

Am I some starfish at the bottom of the sea!?

That was totally uncalled for!

"I-I-I see! Y-Y-You love me as a friend right?"

Huh?

Is this the infamous friendzone…?

I felt a knife stabbing my heart then it skewed, wreaking havoc in it.

It hurts…it hurts to be rejected…but I've got nothing to lose anymore…

I'm still a man…I will die trying!

"No, I love you as a partner. Rather, please marry me!"

"!"

Her red face flushed further as her eyes danced around, as if looking for words to answer.

"Eh…ah…u-umm…ah!"

Eris was like a broken cassette as she spewed gibberish over and over again.

"Oh…eh…emm…ah-"

*BOMP*

Eris fell along with her chair to the ground.

"Are you ok!?"

I immediately rushed to her side and lifted her…

Her face was totally red as if all the blood in her body rushed to her head.

Her eyes were rolling around and her mouth still spewed nonsense until she fainted…

I broke her!

I better call the ambulanc-

*CLICK CLICK CLICK*

I heard multiple camera shutters going off in quick succession.

"I-I just saw something incredible…I-I have to tell everyone! I have to upload it to the internet!"

"Steal," I whispered as I stole her phone.

That was a very quick reaction…even I'm surprised.

Is this adrenaline? Or is this Nirvana?

"K-Kazuma, I-I promise I will delete the pictures so please return my phone!"

*CRACK*

I broke the phone by smashing it with one of the feet of the chair.

"AHHHHHH!"

The Asthma lunged at me, immediately throwing a tantrum…

I don't blame her. I just broke her phone after all.

But she is to be blamed for acting like a paparazzi.

"Stop being such an Asthma and calm down!"

"What did you just call me!?"

"I said Roachy! You piece of Asthma!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Roachy lunged at me again.

"Ow…my head…what's going on?"

Eris woke up, perhaps due to our commotion.

"Gasp! W-What are you doing here!? How did you even get in…"

Eris stopped as she looked down on the white one piece she was wearing.

Her face turned pale instantly as her knees went weak, eventually falling to the ground.

Tears began running down her cheeks as if she lost something important.

Déjà vu.

"W-Why are my clothes changed? I-I wasn't wearing this- _sniff! _How could you do this to me!?"

"I didn't! You were the one who changed into it! What are you talking about? Are you trying to play dumb to not answer my proposal!?"

"What proposal? _Sniff_ I was just watching T.V. and suddenly you showed up with my clothes changed!_"_

Amnesia? Are you fucking kidding me!? I did my once in a lifetime proposal just to be forgotten!?

This is worse than not hearing it at all!

Oh Eris, why are you crying? I am the one who wants to cry!

I can't take this anymore. Why do things never work out!?

"Bring me back my phone, you shutinNEET! If all you do is cause troubles, why don't you just stay a shutin forever?!" complained Aqua.

"Fine!"

"Huh-"

I ran and ran and ran.

I even forgot to bring my shoes and my bag.

I just wanted to leave the place as soon as possible.

I tried. I really tried.

But if all I get is a bullshit like this then why do I even try!?

"FUCK THIS SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

The death cry of the last cicada sounded throughout the starry night sky.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I've gotta admit that Kazuma was rather OC in this chapter. He is a coward, he would never be the one to initiate a confession, let alone a proposal. If I have any excuse, it would be his state of panic at the time after failing to convey his apology for three consecutive times. Also, he is easily carried away so he just went along with the confession thing and made a disaster. One more thing, in Volume 8, when Chris asked Kazuma which one he liked more, Eris or Chris, Kazuma answered 'both' right away so yeah...

I am late because I hit the wall. I didn't know how to continue from the last chapter. I wanted one more crazy episode focused on Darkness but I couldn't think of any. So I did away with the crazy stuff, which made this chapter a calm one. Well…it is calm compared to the previous chapters…

Anyway, hopefully I managed to crack up some of you guys reading this.

**P.S. **You can't have geometry with just a line amiright?

* * *

****Notice**: **The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.


	6. Chapter 5 A Punishment for this Fool

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

In this mildly dark area, only the rows of screens pushed away the dark's encroach. The hubbubs of chaos mixed in with the cry of joy and defeat littered the area.

The screen in front of me displayed my favored Yomishitsu unleashing unending attacks that locked the opponent's Jin Kazuma in the air.

Heh! I always hated you Jin Kazuma…having the same name as mine…yet you're way cooler and-

I stopped my thought realizing that I was getting worked up by an innocent fictional character for a pathetic reason…

[YOU WIN]

*BANG*

"FUCK!"

A slam erupted followed by a frustrated shout from the other side.

This is nothing but an everyday occurrence in this center as the people who were watching our battle payed no heed.

"Sigh…seriously, it's just a game. Why do you have to care so mu-…" my whisper was cut in short as I saw my grinning face slightly reflected on the screen.

Hmm? Why is it so quiet all of a sudden?

I tried to look arou-

[HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER]

Oh another one.

He picked Riri.

Now this is my waifu. She is rich, kind, and beautiful. The perfect trinity!

Just like…Eris…sigh…

It's been two days…two days since my proposal…

Looking back, I wasn't in my right mind. I mean, who would just casually throw a confession followed by a proposal?

Seriously, I did nothing but strip her panty and fail my apology…

There's no way she would accept it…sigh…in the end, I'm saved by her amnesia…

But that is that and this is this.

How could she just up and forget my proposal? How is that even possible!?

I smell bullshit…

[K.O.]

What a scrub. Button mashing won't get you anywhere.

Heh, a noob like this don't deserve to witness my true strength…

My Yomishitsu began standing on his sword, sidestepping and jumping.

My noob opponent couldn't do anything but receive my dumb attacks like an idiot.

This brings back memories.

Whenever I play with the noob Yami, I would use the sword pogo only to poke fun at her.

She would then get all mad and come up to me and throw a tantrum.

Yeah just like this blue haired chi-

"Hey! you-"

"Urk!"

"Ahh! Kazuma!"

Aw shit, the last person I wanted to meet…

*Whistle*

I am whistling while averting my eyes in an attempt to hide my noticing her.

I rose up and tried to leave the scene but then I stopped as I saw bunch of dudes surrounding me…or more specifically, Aqua.

They stared at her intently and then me who's trying to ignore her. Their eyes turned from that of admiration to that of anger as they saw an ape trying to ignore their goddess…

Sigh…bunch of oblivious fellas…

"_Fufufu_ you really became a shutinNEET again. You are ditching school and playing games in an arcade center! _Tee! heehee!__._"

"Tch, whatever. If all you want is make fun of me, then I will take my leave," I said, ignoring her hypocrisy.

"Of course, that's not all you thief! Bring back my phone! Buy me a new one! Because of you, I have to kill my boredom in an arcade center! Also, return my lucky steal bag you stupid shutinNEET!"

"Sigh…ok. I will buy you a new one but not today because I don't have the money."

"Huh? That was easier than I thought. You can be quite obedient after all."

I am because I'm lying.

I'm not in a good mood today. Dealing with her antics is something I cannot do right now.

Better ditch her as soon as possible.

"Since that is out of the way, peace," I said as I turned around to leave.

"Bye bye."

Pfft! She is too easy! She even forgot about her bag!

I headed toward the exit and eventually left.

The noon sun greeted me, leading me to cover my eyes, which just came out of the dark.

I then turned around to the person who came out with me.

"So why are you following me?"

"Since it's your fault that I'm so bored, you should take responsibility and amuse me," said Aqua as if it's an obvious fact.

"I'm not your henchman! Why don't you ask the guys behind you? I bet they will be glad to play with you."

"Are you kidding me? Look at their dangerous eyes. I bet they will take me to an alley and do unspeakable things to me!"

"Pftt!"

"Hey! What's so funny!?"

You? Being raped? With just a minute of your antics, no boner can stand before you!

"Answer me!"

My face was plastered with a kind smile as I told her warmly,

"Don't worry. There is no man who will lust after you. You are completely safe wherever you go."

"Huh? I-Is that a compliment? Somehow I feel miserable…" said Aqua as her voice quivered.

"No need. Go Aqua. Go play with them. You will be in safe hands no matter how deviant they are," I said with overflowing kindness.

"Stop that! Stop saying lies with such kindness! How could no man lust after me!?" questioned Aqua as she fought back her tears.

"Aqua," I said in solemnity, setting the tone to deliver my sincere thought.

Aqua looked at me earnestly waiting for my words to console her.

"I'm not ly- pfft!" my consolation was thwarted as my laughter broke through my defense.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAA," cried Aqua as she pounced on me.

* * *

"Oh my goddess!" I exclaimed in great reverence.

"Stop."

"Lo and behold, with her outstretched folly and folded beauty, she has parted the sea of men that we may be delivered from their clutches!"

"I said stop didn't I!?"

"Oh goddess! Have mercy upon me! Let me be away from your presence that I may be delivered from your foolishness as well!"

"S-Stop…_sniff _uwaaaaaaaaaaaa,"the goddess began crying again.

Maybe I should stop. Seeing her crying like this brings me to sigh,

"Hah, there is nothing like your tears to start my day."

"!"

She sprang forth onto me once more as I delivered my revenge.

I take it back, dealing with her antics is what I need right now.

I can use it as an excuse to release my stress on her.

Even now, I find relief in pulling her cheeks.

It would have been perfect if she didn't pull mine too.

Shit, people are gathering, they'll think I'm some kind of deviant again-

"Look they're having a lover's quarrel."

"Nah, they must be close siblings having a fight."

"They don't look alike at all though."

Oh…

"Calm down Aqua. I will buy you some ice cream over there so quit crying," I said as I pushed her away from me.

"Don't treat me like a child! You think some ice cream will win me over?"

"Look, if you don't stop crying, people will think we are some kind of close siblings or even lovers having a quarrel!"

"What?! How can they lump me together with a shutinNEET like you!?"

"Exactly my point! How can they lump me together with a fucking cunt like you?!"

""…""

We were silent, staring into each other's eyes.

We were like beasts having a standoff, eyeing for an opportunity to pounce.

The standoff wasn't long as we dove into each other.

"Yup, they are just having a lover's quarrel."

"No, no, I'm telling you, they are close siblings having their usual fight."

"They still don't look alike though."

It took a while for us to calm down

"Seriously, you're the worst of the worst. How could you hit a lady like me. If I wasn't so benevolent, I would've called the po-"

"Here," I interjected her sexist nonsense as I presented to her a chocolate ice cream.

Aqua was surprised as she stared at the ice cream until she took it.

Aqua began licking away her ice cream as a smile took over her.

"For a NEET, you sure know how to please a woman," said Aqua, impressed while the ice cream painted her mouth and cheeks.

"Didn't you say an ice cream wasn't enough?" I questioned her as I ate my own vanilla ice cream.

Whatever, I gotta get going.

I began walking off, heading to a certain direction.

Of course, the bored Roachy followed me.

"Where are you going?" asked Aqua as she licked her ice cream.

"Oh to some place I recommend you don't come along."

"Heh, there is only one place for a NEET like you to go…you're going to buy anime goods aren't you?"

"W-What's wrong with buying what I want? Rather, why don't you go back to where you belong? Go back to the red light district you fucking whore!"

"I-I didn't insult you or anything! I just said you were going to an anime shop so why are you so mean!?" questioned Aqua in frustration as tears began forming again.

"O-Oh, my bad," I apologized of my new bad habit.

"_Sniff_ stupid shutinNEET…" said Aqua weakly in soft sobbing.

"Sorry…"

I'm used to her behaving all high and mighty without any feat that merits her to do so.

But that doesn't mean I can just treat her so roughly…she is still a woman with a sensitive hea-

*FFFFFFFFFFF*

"AHH! What are you doing?!" I screamed as Aqua blew her nose on my tracksuit's sleeve.

"I'm crying because of you so you should lend me your sleeve! _FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"_

"AHHH! Stahp! I will lend you my handkerchief so please stahp!" I said as I slapped her face with my handkerchief, pushing her away.

"Kek!"

Aqua struggled for a while until she calmed down.

"Come on, after me, one two."

"_FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF."_

"One two."

"_FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF."_

I stared at Aqua in poker face as she blew her nose like a child…or more like a pet…she is really a Roachy huh.

"Damn it, since you're a woman, you should eat more decently. Look at how dirty your mouth is," I said as I wiped her cheeks and mouth with the same handkerchief.

"Hey, don't use that handkerchief to wipe my mouth. Let me at least wash it with my Nature's Beaut- ah- hey…"

"Don't worry, I'm using the corners without your mucus. I'm also folding it so don't mind it."

After her face was made clean, I threw my defiled handkerchief in a trashcan.

I began heading toward the shop with Aqua in tow.

"What are you gonna buy?"

"Oh just some light novel of the other-world genre."

"You mean the trash genre? Aren't you tired of the same tropes over and over again?"

"Well, it's complicated..."

My life's shit that's why.

I want to feel accomplished and loved even though it's just a secondary experience told in overused settings.

I wonder…is there actually another world?

What would've happened if I was actually hit by the trac- truck on that fateful day?

Would I be transported to another world?

Nah.

One thing's for sure, if I was transported to another world, I would've had a real harem with faithful and lovable girls!

There will be the traditional main heroine whom I first meet. She will be kind and loving. She will support me till the end of our journey as we conclude it in marriage.

How about the mage? I would be a mage too, so we will be couples walking the same path together! She will be timid as she loves to read grimoires in search of knowledge, where she spends most of her time, undermining her social skills. Who cares though? I'm a NEET myself so we will get along well together.

Since I'm a mage, I will bring in a vanguard, a beautiful woman. She will be so dependable and noble, protecting us from all manner of attacks!

Of course, not to forget to mention the daughter of some duke, or better yet, the king! They will hear of my amazing feats and beg their fathers to meet me!

Sigh…let's stop. Let's face reality. There are no such things. I mean look. Aqua, Megumin, and Lalatina…complete opposite of the kind of harem I just described…this is why I consume the trash genre over and over again fantasizing about how it would be like if I was the one being transported…

Soon, we reached the shop then we entered.

All kinds of goods entered our sights.

Stuffed toys, figurines, blue ray disks, mangas, light novels, etc.

I headed toward the light novel section with Aqua still following me.

We arrived at the section and I reached out to the book I was looking for.

""Ah.""

My hand collided with another as I and the other voiced our surprise.

I turned to see who the owner of the frail hand was.

Black wings…or the ribbon spread on top of her head as her black wavy hair fell down, ending in multiple curls. Her eyes…rather, her right eye, which grew wide open, glowed in red as the other was hidden under the crimson eye patch with a white cross on it. An eye patch is used to cover a blemish in the eye but this one is a blemish in and of itself to her already beautiful face…

To top it all off, she wore a black lab coat which still couldn't conceal the tall valleys beneath her shoulders…unlike the certain someone I know…

Her eye narrowed down as it peered into me.

"Oh my, what a fateful coincidence…," said the woman.

"…"

I was left speechless for how she was dressed, very reminiscent of a certain someone I know…

"I've always wanted to meet you, oh Great Panty Thief."

"Why do everyone use that title!?"

Is it on the internet? How far did it spread!?

"I've witnessed your exploit on the stage. You were a nobody who stripped a poor lady then shamelessly…and woefully cried…yet when the fire nation- _ehem!_ When the cockroaches attacked, you fought heroically with a damsel in distress in your arms…," said the woman as she turned to Aqua.

"W-Well, I guess he was a bit cool at that time…," trailed off Aqua as a slight blush took over her.

"It was a sight to behold. Especially when the crowds who poked fun at you began chanting your name in cheer…it sent shivers down my spine."

I gotta admit, it was cool to have them cheer for me.

"Yes, just like a certain ninja of a certain leaf village…you managed to change their perspectives on you…"

Although not as dramatic as that of the orange ninja, I guess I still did…

"You were a great inspiration for my novel, a great help…," paused the woman as she held her right hand over her left eye patch.

Déjà vu.

"Great power is locked beneath this seal that will usher great confusion once unleashed…," paused again the woman as she slanted her hand, revealing her eye patch between her thumb and index fingers, "…yet, it is capable of piercing through the fabric of time and space…latching onto the infinite possibilities…"

"Another one of the Guren Village?" whispered Aqua.

"Definitely," I answered.

We both gave her a deadpan look as she continued,

"It troubles me to come to this decision but for your assistance…I shall unveil it…," said she as her eye widened and as the corners of her lips curled up.

"No one asked for it…Also, for someone who's troubled, you sure look excited," I pointed out.

"No need for worries. I have strained and gained mastery over my _Eye of Panta_..._"_

The woman unsealed her forbidden eye, which glowed in golden color. Her right hand, which held the seal, stretched to the side and the other hovered over her supposed fearsome _eye_, revealing it between her fingers.

"My name is Arue! The glamorous writer of the Crimson Demon Village, second to none! The master of this fearsome _eye!"_

This chick is on a whole new level of chuuni!

Arue then went silent, staring into me with both eyes.

"I see…," said Arue slowly and mysteriously.

Megumin had a bomb to act so proud…don't tell me!

"P-Pervert! Stop looking at my naked body!" I screamed as I covered my crotch.

"…Pardon?"

"Y-You're using your special lens to look beyond my clothes aren't you!?"

""What?!"" questioned both Aqua and Arue.

Aqua ran to my back in an attempt to hide, which was thwarted as I pushed her in front of me to cover my body.

"Kazuma! This isn't how you treat women! Shouldn't you use your body to cover my precious body?! All you have to show is your dick anyway!"

"My dick is much more precious than your whole roached body!"

"My body is what?!"

We began entangling ourselves in a series of body locks.

"I would appreciate if you won't mistake your delusions with my own. My _eye_ doesn't have such pointless function," said Arue as she held her forehead.

We calmed down as we heard her retort.

"Sigh…let me just explain what I've seen…," Arue trailed off as her eyes became sharp and her face dead serious.

"In another world, you would have a harem of the strongest mage, the impenetrable vanguard, and the goddess priest."

I wish.

"Interestingly, she would be the goddess of water," said Arue as she pointed to Aqua.

"I thought it was just some claptrap but it seems I was wrong…sigh…I should be a goddess of beauty but I guess water would do considering my color," said Aqua with a smug as she flaunted her blue hair.

Nevermind, it's a mare's nest. Let me guess, the mage is Megumin, the explosion maniac. The vanguard would be Lalatina. It's the best position to satiate her lust after all…Worst of all, Aqua? The goddess? The world would end many times over!

What a ripoff…

"Oh…_fufu _how amusing. I've just seen another world, another you."

"Oh?"

What kind of crap will she come up with this time?

"You would have been a passionate cyclist pedaling against the unrelenting wind."

Haha, it's quite funny. Me? Passionate? What an oxymoron.

"I've seen another one for you as well…," said Arue as she turned to Aqua.

"_Fufu_ let me hear of another beautiful Aqua," said Aqua as her face was the definition of smug.

Beautiful Aqua? Another oxymoron.

"You would have been a silent assassin. Swinging your deadly blade against the corrupted empire's lapdogs."

"Wow, even though I'm not a goddess, I'm still on the side of justice."

Her? An assassin of justice? Are you sure she is not fighting for the empire?

"Wait! I've seen another you from another universe!" exclaimed Arue with widened eyes.

"Hehe, go on," said Aqua still with her smug face.

Sigh…should I just leave?

"You would have been a princess!"

"Oh my-"

"Wait! There is more! You would become a bitch!"

"What!?"

"Wait no! More than bitch, you would be a witch!"

"Are you picking a fight with me?!"

"Wait…I was very wrong. You would have been a goddess all along!"

"Heh, you shouldn't try to trick me just because you are jeal-"

"A goddess hellbent on destroying the world for experience points!"

"Come again?!"

"Wow, that's the most authentic one," I agreed to what she saw.

"You two…stop bullying me!" exclaimed Aqua as tears were ready to flow.

"Shut up witch of a goddess."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The goddess leaped, rushing unto me for who knows how many times already…

* * *

"Here are your orders!"

"Thanks."

The waitress left us as she served our orders.

We then began eating our late lunch.

"_Sniff_ stupid shutinNEET you will pay for my food you hear me? Stupid shutinNEET…._sniff"_

If you didn't start screaming about my past deeds, I would have bitch slapped you the moment you asked me to pay for your food.

"Sigh…so why are you here with us? Just so you know, I'm not going to pay for your food," I said as I looked to her right eye, the one without the patch.

"No need. I can pay for my own," answered Arue.

"…Good thing you are not like the other Guren villager I know."

"Oh, you mean Megumin?"

"…You two know each other?"

"Well yes. We live together in the college dorm."

"Huh, so you are her elder sister or cousin?"

"No, we are peers."

"What!?"

What the fuck?!

"W-Wait, so you are like her classmate?"

"No, we are in different classrooms."

"But you just said you two are peers..."

"Well, we were in the same grade all our lives. I was able to skip grades like her but I only managed to get a half scho-"

"What the fuck!?"

What?!

"What's wrong?" asked Arue.

"How can you lie with such straight face? How do you lie so shamelessly when those jumbo wombos are dangling over your shoulders!?"

"…You know that's sexual harassment right? I can call the police you know…and yes I'm a legitimate 13 years old minor," said Arue unfazed by my harassment.

"Urk! I'm sorry, please don't call the police…," I piped down immediately.

Seriously though, how can she be 13 with those voluptuous curv-

"Sigh…I don't know why boys are so worked up over these…," said Arue as she held her breasts…

What a view…

"PedoNEET…," said Aqua as she stared at me.

"!"

I was startled and looked away immediately.

S-She's right…Although those wombos are exciting my primal instinct…she's still a child! I can't cross the line…

"I noticed that you bought the same book I have…," said Arue as she showed the book we two bought.

"Huh? U-Uh…yeah I did," I answered as I turned back to her.

"May I know what brought you to buy it?" asked Arue.

Is it just my imagination that her voice seemed to tremble?

Huh…cuz my life is shit?

"The book…is not that good. Overused tropes, through the roof chuuni, and predictable plot…the only saving grace for me is the harem. Without the harem, I wouldn't even have bough- ouch!"

What the hell? Something hit me…spoon?

Huh? Her eye was widely opened, piercing into me. Her wrinkled nose and clenched teeth clearly told me she was angry.

Why does she seem so angry?

That outstretched hand…she must have thrown the spoon!

I immediately did what all true equalists do: I threw my spoon back at her.

I'm quite impressed…she didn't even flinch when the spoon hit her…

"…piece?" mumbled Arue.

"Huh?"

"What the fuck did say you about my masterpiece fucktard!" exploded Arue.

The spirit of Asthma possessed her as she lunged at me.

"C-Calm down both of you! Stop fighting! Stop disturbing my mealtime!"

We ignored her and fought passionately until the owner kicked us out.

* * *

Me and Aqua were walking home after the little fight I had in the restaurant.

…Seriously…all I've been doing today is fighting women.

Aqua, Arue, Megumin, Lalatina, and even Wiz…why are all the women I meet so violent?

"Come to think of it, all we've done today is fighting huh…"

It seems Aqua was thinking the same thing.

"Sigh…hanging out with you is so troublesome. Don't you think you should treat me better for associating with a NEET like you at all?"

"…Sigh…"

I had no strength left to retort her hypocrisy…or self unawareness.

Aqua didn't seem to mind that I ignored her. We just kept walking home.

"…fun…," mumbled Aqua.

"Fun?"

"N-Nothing!" said Aqua with a tinge of blush.

"I see…"

My house is close, I better separate myself before my family sees me together with this sorry excuse of a woman-

*GRRRRRRRRRRR*

"!"

"…Just how unwomanly are you? Didn't you eat already? Why are you still hungry?"

"I-It's only natural! If it weren't for your fighting, I would have eaten enough to fill my stomach!"

Good point…

"Don't you think you should compensate for my loss? Serve me some food in your house stupid shutinNEET!"

"I was the one paying it so why should I- hey! Stop pushing me!"

This is bad. Right around this corner is my house-

Huh?

"AHH!"

I was stunned, unable to move as I saw the little beast running up to us till she leaped.

Her legs were tightly fastened together as they flew toward me.

I broke out of my confusion as I tried to move away from the projectile…but it was to no avail.

I was thrown away after her dropkick landed.

"…Hey…was it fun having a date after dumping onto me all the work?"

"D-D-Date!? Me? With this fuckyNEET?! No way-"

"Hey, even if you're a child, there are things I cannot forgive, you know…"

"W-What do you mean!?" questioned Aqua.

"Hey, I thought you already knew there are things I cannot forgi- uwa!"

Megumin was interrupted as Lalatina held Megumin from behind, preventing an outbreak of a fight.

"Calm down Megumin! We didn't come here to fight. You're the one who said we console him after his spectacular failure!"

After Lalatina reasoned with her, Megumin seemed to calm dow-

Wait what?

"What did you say?"

"We were worried about you Kazuma. You didn't show up for two days straight…You're my student, I can't have you go shutting yourself again," said Wiz.

"She's right. You're also my student. How can I stay idle when my student is about to shut himself? That's right, I cannot allow it when we didn't even have a single passionate session! _Hah~"_

"Sigh…how can you shut yourself again when you didn't even finish your hours? You're one of the very few to witness my successful explosion. You should be spreading the news about my success, rather than becoming a shutinNEET…"

"…," I couldn't reply but simply take in what they said.

"I-I was also worried about you…I mean I hanged out with you all day to make sure you don't become a NE-"

Tears began flowing.

It began in silent whimpering then slowly, it turned into a loud wailing.

They didn't complain nor were disgusted that a man was crying but simply accompanied me in my emotional state.

Bitch, explosion maniac, degenerate, and grim reaper…they all have faults that I cannot handle…but they are also my dear friends…

Friends I don't deserve at all…

I couldn't help but thank God for such wonderful friends-

"Hey! Stop bullying my brother!"

""Huh?""

I opened my tearful eyes as I saw my little brother spreading his arms in front of me against my friends, trying to protect me…

What?

"What did you do to my dear son? He is a naïve fool but that doesn't mean you can play with his heart!"

M-Mother?

"Sigh…son, men may only cry when their love ones' are dead…or when women lied…"

Father?

W-What's going on…I thought you all hated me…you even left me all alone this morning for your outing!

I was stunned processing the meaning of their actions…

Then, I was brought to more tears at the implication of their defending me, which propelled their misunderstanding.

"Wait! That's not what happened!" exclaimed Aqua

"What do you mean?" questioned my father menacingly.

Aqua wanted to say something but she couldn't, not before my scary father.

"F-Father, she is right _hic!_ They are here to help me…not bully me."

"I see…"

My father went silent in contemplation until,

"Sigh…I'm sorry ladies, it seems I misunderstood you people," said my father, relaxing his face.

"It's only natural for you to care for your son. We're alright," replied Wiz.

Afterward, they shared handshakes.

"If you don't mind, may I ask what's my son's relationship to you all?" asked my Mother.

""We're friends?""

"Look at them, all unsure. I think you still have a chanc-"

"Mother, there are things I cannot forgive, you know?" I replied to my mother's whisper immediately as my tears dried up.

"Well, I guess you are all close that's for sure. I guess you are still loyal to Yam-"

"OUCH!"

I shouted as I crouched to hold my shin, which was kicked.

"What was that for!?"

"You deserve it! How did you even meet them!? Just how lucky are you?!" my brother exclaimed.

"Try saying that again after you befriend them!"

""What do you mean!?"" inquired my friends.

"Hahaha!" my father laughed at out spectacle.

My family was stiffened as they saw a rare thing.

I was stunned along them as I saw him laughing…I don't even remember the last time he laughed.

My friends just stared at him awkwardly.

"Oh, sorry to ruin the mood. I'm just glad. I always worried how my no good son would fare in the school but I guess he hit the jackpot," he said as he looked at my friends.

Well…I guess my luck prevailed…

Smiles began blossoming in the scene as the wind of comfort caressed me.

It sucks that I was cucked and my proposal forgotten…but with these friends and family…I guess school ain't so bad-

"So why are you all here again?" asked my father.

"Oh your son's been absent for two days straight. We came here to convince him to attend again," answered Wiz in a rare smile.

"!"

I was brought to silence as my lingering tears were brought to a stop.

Instead of tears, cold sweat began flowing all over my body as the icy stares of my family locked onto me…

"Is that true Kazuma?"

"W-Well, it's true but I've done it because I've been half-lied to a woma-"

"Enough with your excuse!"

What happened to being lied to women!?

"You remember our promise?"

"W-Wait! This is not counted! I'm not skipping school, I'm skipping my servi-"

"I said enough!"

Oh shit, oh crap!

"Even though I gave you a chance…you even lied to us this morning. You said you were attending your service but you were out fooling around!"

No, no, no, no, no! Don't continue beyond that!

"Get out of my house you fucking bastard!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

**Author's Note**: Ok. I won't give anymore excuse. I don't think I can write things anymore faster. So expect a chapter to be released around every week.

Please tell me if the fights in this chapter were redundant. I think I've overused this trope in this chapter but I guess it's true to the canon in the sense that they always fight.

Arue's _Eye of Panta_ thing was inspired from another fanfic from Japan titled "Kazuma's Turn!" link here: syosetu.o r g (slash) novel / 86108 (it's hard to understand because Fanfic won't let me share the link as it is). Note that the fanfic is in Japanese.

**JamesAsmodeus**: Well, I'm actually conflicted on that. Should Vanir be the one to melt Wiz or Kazuma? I'm inclined to let Kazuma do that since it's his harem but I'm not sure who and when for now.

**D.N. Works**: Thanks! As for Aqua and Eris, I would either let them be siblings or cousins…whichever is more convenient. Haha.

* * *

****Notice**: **The art piece for this fanfic came from ErosPanda. You can look him up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook.


	7. Chapter 6 A Lovely Night for the Fool

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

The child of stars lollygagged all day, enjoying the show on earth. However, there was a knock, as usual, by the Night. The child was startled and ran away immediately, spilling the orange juice he was drinking. The juice spread out on the floor, blocking the view of both the earth and the stars. The Night came in and began cleaning the floor as per her daily routine.

Or at least, is what I imagine to be happening up there as the sun was half-way over to the other side of the horizon, pursued by the Night's embrace.

It's just like me…My parents finally caught up to my NEET life, subjecting me to justice.

Sigh…what do I expect really? Loafers, in a family or during group works, need to be punished…

Think about a dog that does nothing but lazes around…wait it would be a Yotube star…how about cats…another Yotube star, praised even for getting fat…

I began having an existential crisis as my life seem to worth less than the aforementioned animals…

I brushed off my thoughts as I kept walking.

It was a good scene…smiles of my friends and love of my family…it was going so well…if only the woman beside me wasn't so tactless…

"You seem to have a complaint," said Wiz with her antennae standing up.

"No…nothing."

I cannot voice my complaint to my benefactor who will give me shelter…I already know the consequence of biting the hands that feed you…

Rather, I should be extremely grateful and excited! It's Wiz after all!

Living together under the same roof…who knows what kind of development may occur.

After months of living together, we might develop feelings forbidden between a student and a teacher!

[*KNOCK* *KNOCK*]

[*CREEK*]

["Wiz it's dangerous for you to open the door so quickly without checking who's on the other side. What would you do if it was a deviant?"]

["I pride myself in a certain skill, a skill to detect you in my vicinity," said Wiz as her dumb hair stood and pointed at me.]

["But sti-" I was interrupted as Wiz placed her forefinger over my lips."]

["Shhh. Isn't it ironic for you to warn me of deviants when you are the bee out to snatch my pollen?" said Wiz as she ran her tongue over her lips.]

["Hehe, I hate bees but who cares. So what if I'm a bee? Will you run away?"]

["No," said Wiz as she closed in and whispered softly over my ear, "take me into your honeycomb."]

["Oh my Wiz, my honey! It's time we have a sonny!"]

"UHEHEHEHEHE!"

"Would you stop acting so grotesque? I don't know what you're thinking but somehow you give me the chills," said Wiz with her death glare and her pointed dumb hair.

I should really stop. Even though I'm in a period of raging testosterone, I cannot let it affect my soon-to-be-benefactor.

To think that out of all of them, only Wiz would take me in…no, it's only natural.

Aqua, despite being Asthma, is still a woman. How can she let a man like me enter her house?

Not to mention Eris. Living together with her misunderstanding still intact would be troublesome...

Megumin? Nah, I don't want any JBIs knocking at the door.

Besides, Arue lives with her. She seemed calm and mature compared to the explosive Megumin…but she is the same in the end, flaming at the slightest of touch.

Lalatina said her family may allow me to live with her for a day or two but beyond that...it's going to be difficult.

It's weird though that she seemed more disappointed than I did…

That leaves me with Wiz.

She is an adult with her own rented condo and there is no constrain for her to reject me.

She is also kind enough to be the one to invite me to stay with her.

Honestly, I'm really grateful for her.

"Kazuma I will let you stay with me for now but that doesn't mean it's going to be permanent. You have to convince your family to let you in."

"Yes, I will try at least..."

I wonder…will that strict father of mine ever change his mind?

We kept walking till we reached the bus station.

* * *

*SHAAAAAAA*

The noise of running water hit my ears as I sat uneasily.

In that bathroom is Wiz taking a bath…

*GULP*

Shit…

Coming to her house wasn't really a good idea…as a man, how can I deal with this everyday?

She will make me a criminal at this rate!

I-I better cool my head…let's dry my wet hair.

I took out a hairdryer in the drawer Wiz pointed to after my shower.

*WHIRRRRRRRRRR*

I sat there in contemplation as the dryer dried my hair and cooled my head at the same time.

I began thinking about my friends and family.

Even though all I remember doing with them is fighting, especially that Asthma…but they turned out to be such good people who cares for me…I better treat them better next time, except Asthma of course.

My family…I thought they all hated me. My disrespectful brother was the first to defend me…even my silent mother came in my defense…my father who wanted- I mean who literally kicked me out defended me as well…

I don't blame him though. It's my fault…wait it's not my fault. It's Eris' fault for forgetting my proposal!

Sigh…she really isn't faking her amnesia is she? Somehow I feel that the possibility of her faking it is worse than being rejected…

But still…it's been long since I visited a woman's house…

Yami's room looked so girly adorned with dolls and color pink.

Also, the smell of honey lingered in the room for some odd reason…

Wiz's room, on the other hand, is rather empty.

In this one room condo with a bathroom and a rest room, there is only the minimum essentials such as the twin size bed beside the wall, the closet beside the bed, the knee high table in the middle of the room, the generic wooden desk facing the closet, the small kitchen beside the entrance, and the chest high refrigerator beside the kitchen.

I get it that calling it empty is a first world problem but compared to the room of Yami, it is indeed vacant.

Oh, there is a photo on the desk…it's a younger Wiz, perhaps in her junior high school. I'm not so sure. She doesn't seem to be wearing a Japanese uniform.

Is this really Wiz? She does not have the look of perpetual menstruation…cheery and all smiles, she must be her sister.

Who's that beside her though? An eastern beauty with long black hair and straight bangs…she seems close to Wiz.

"She's Yume."

"Huh- _gasp!"_

I was stunned at the spectacular figure.

Her ample chest and buns were accentuated under the wet towel she wore. Beneath the towel, long naked legs were stretched forth as droplets slid down their pearly pink skin. Her lean shoulders were slightly slumped as she hugged herself, holding onto her elbows. The chestnut hair was wet but it wasn't enough to straighten her wavy hair. Those buckeyes were made narrow as they gazed longingly into the picture I was holding.

Ms. Wiz would you stop hugging yourself like that? Emphasizing your boobs with your arms…I may not be able to contain my urges. Also, why do you seem so calm?

"A-Ah…u-ummm…eh-," I spewed gibberish in my moment of panic but I never took my eyes off of her.

"What's wrong? I think I've seen this before- !"

Wiz finally seemed to realize the state I'm in as her antennae picked up the signal.

Her face ignited and her body kindled. Her porcelain skin turned scarlet as she lowered her head and realized the state she is in.

Her sharp eyes widened as they trembled. Her slim arms moved to cover places but they weren't enough to cover her thicc body. Realizing this, she raised her head as her helpless eyes turned to me.

"…Would you please look away?" said Wiz in a quivering voice.

"Don't mind me," I replied immediately for daring to take away my treasu-

*SLAP*

The room rotated as I fell to the floor.

Thankfully, my head landed in the perfect position as my eyes caught the base of her foot swiftly descendi-

"Kek!"

Then again, my vision was frustrated as her foot laid over my eyes.

"I told you to look away didn't I?" said Wiz coldly but still quivering.

"…"

I was silent.

This is not that bad too-

"Kek!" I screamed again as her foot fell on me once more.

I can't see a thing but I'm sure her dumb hair must be standing, picking up inevitable signals from a young lad.

"Sorry…," I said as I turned around.

I wouldn't have given up this easily if she didn't shoot me with her death rays…

"…," Wiz was silently shooting her death rays.

I was tempted to look back as I heard her changing clothes but I didn't.

I should never underestimate her dumb hair.

I just laid there caressing my slapped cheek and stepped head.

"I'm done. You may stop looking away."

I turned around quickly to find Wiz in a loose purple shirt and a grey short pant.

It's quite normal except for the voluptuous curves inexorably emphasized in her supposed loose clothes.

"Stop staring at me or I will poke your eyes out," said Wiz as she stared at me in disgust as if looking at a worm.

"Uhh…I'm sorry. Would you please stop looking at me like that?"

I may be in a pursuit of erotic stimulation but it doesn't mean that I am willing to lose my dignity as a human being in the process.

*GRRRRRRRRRRR*

"Sigh…hungry?" asked Wiz.

"Y-Yeah…," I replied awkwardly.

Come to think of it, I wasn't able to eat much in the restaurant.

"Sit there and stay still. I'll cook a dinner," said Wiz as she nailed me with her glare before turning to the kitchen.

Then, the noise of a woman being in her natural habitat began spreading in the room.

Heh, she doesn't look too scary now that she is in the place where she belo-

*WHOOOOSH*

*BANG*

"A-Ah…EEEK!"

I was stupefied then I screamed in terror of the knife that pierced the air by my cheek before stabbing the wall behind me…

That was way too close!

"Oops…," said Wiz as she sheathed her outstretched arm...

"EEK!" I was startled at the sudden movement from the nightmare.

"Sorry my hand slipped…," said Wiz with her dumb hair standing up and her eyes narrowing down to blades, shooting intense rays at me…

Just how sensitive is her antennae!?

Damn it! Living with her will cost me my life!

To my terror, the grim reaper walked toward me…rather, toward the knife. After picking it up, she returned to the kitchen with death aura enveloping her figure. Of course, she didn't forget to shoot me her death rays as she passed by.

I sat there obediently with my head down and my face all gloomy, occasionally fidgeting from the sudden loud noises coming from the kitchen.

I take it back. I take it all back. Why was I so excited? Why was I so happy?

I was but a deer entering a tiger's lair…

This is unreasonable!

How am I supposed to react when she displayed herself in such manner?

Did she think I was some kind of a saint? Or an impotent? Newsflash, I'm not!

My green mind is filled with unspeakable thoughts and my balls have just entered the golden age!

Showing such explosive curves to a sensitive lad like me and demanding me to control my urges…

Fucking unreasonable!

Heh! Reason does not matter to a wild beas- I mean to a civil lady like her!

"Sigh…," I exhaled in relief as I saw her antennae losing signal.

There is something seriously wrong when I have to regulate my own thoughts before even voicing it out…

What a tyra- I mean a benevolent lovely lady!

This is really tiring me out…

Even as I brooded over her authoritarian tendencies, the distinct smell of fish began filling the air.

Upon realizing the odor building up, Wiz quickly activated the kitchen hood to alleviate it.

Wiz…you don't have to bring out a fan…it will make things worse…

"Ahh! The pot! The pot!" I shouted.

"!"

Wiz quickly tried to lift the pot off the fire but she forgot to put on kitchen gloves.

It worked out fine though as she managed to put down the pot without spilling a thing.

Before Wiz recovered from her mild burn, I quickly approached the kitchen and turned off the fire.

"Sigh…are you ok?"

"I'm fine…," said Wiz as she turned the faucet, after which, she held her hands against the running water.

For someone who can throw a knife at pin point accuracy, she sure is clumsy when cooking.

"Want me to take over?"

"No…"

I stared into her hands which were still held against the water.

What's with all those cuts? There are some blood coming out you know?

"You are my stu-"

I pursed her lips with my forefinger.

"Student this student that. You are my teacher but you are also Wiz, my f-friend. F-For my dear friend, let me show you the skills polished in my sponge life…while she takes care of her hands," I said as I gave fleeting glances to her hands.

I could feel my cheeks burning up for being honest.

Well, a bit of honesty is nothing for someone who came out for me and tried to cook for me despite her clumsiness at doing so.

The tensed look she gave me eased up as her eyes widened slightly.

However, they went sharp again and she took a step back to free her lips.

"There is no need for friendship between a student and a teacher."

"Huh?" I said dumbfounded.

After a brief moment, she closed her eyes then turned on her heel.

"Just kidding," said Wiz.

I lost my words once more but a smile soon found its way on my face.

I'm sure it's not just my imagination that Wiz was smiling.

* * *

"Thanks for the food!"

"Thanks for the food…"

We were seated on the floor with the food on the table.

I began digging up the food I cooked.

Wiz followed soon as she moved her hand full of bandaids, which held the chopsticks, to take a bite.

"I'm surprised it's not spicy at all."

"…Why would a simple fried fish and a generic miso soup be spicy?" I questioned her absurd comment.

"No. Nevermind…"

"…," I remained silent, seeing her cheeks slightly turning red.

We ate our food in silence.

Even though I talked about friendship, I don't know what topic to bring up for conversation.

Not only is she a woman but a top notch beauty at that.

My relapsing NEET life is not helping me either.

"Why are you staring at me?" asked Wiz.

"Oh n-nothing…," I said as I quickly looked away.

It's only natural for a young lad to stare at a beauty like her…especially the boob-

Oh crap, I can feel her antennae about to pick up signal!

"_Huhu."_

"Huh?"

I turned back to her as I doubted what I heard.

I saw her smiling, dispelling my doubt.

I couldn't help but just gawk at her rare moments.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to ridicule you. I just found it…reminiscent."

It seems Wiz took my silence as being offended when I was simply dazed at her being in good mood.

How can it be helped? She always seems to be having a perio- I mean…fuck this, you always look like you are on a period!

I voiced my thoughts in my head which her antennae picked up.

Her smile disappeared and numerous strand of her hair stood up, all pointing at me.

Those sharp eyes were ground to blades. Lights began escaping those squeezing paths as they shot toward me.

I shut my eyes and guarded myself with my arms, ready to receive whatever she throws at me.

"Sigh…it seems I just have to get used to it."

"Huh?" I was surprised that what was returned was not her rays nor a knife but a reasonable comment.

Slowly I opened my eyes to find Wiz all relaxed with her hair draped down and her eyes closed.

"Get used to what?"

"To my new friend," said Wiz as she gave a defeated sigh.

"!"

S-So she accepts it…

I felt joy coursing through my body after hearing the confirmation of our friendship.

How long has it been since I had a confirmed relationship? Oh yeah since Yami…

I won't repeat that slut of a mistake.

UHEHE! This is the first step. We will slowly develop our relationship unlike the shotgun marriage I proposed.

Eris? More like Penis! Based on her lies, I bet her cuckery rivals that of Ya-

"Ow!" I exclaimed as I was forced back from the sudden attack below the table.

Thankfully, I managed to hold onto my rice bowl, which I was holding, without spilling any.

"I said stop acting so grotesque didn't I?" said Wiz coldly as her dumb hair stood up and her foot outstretched to where I was seated.

"I thought you will get used to me?" I questioned her previous promise.

"I will. So should you…," said Wiz along with her death glare.

Fair point…

I didn't return a retort but simply nodded at her rationale.

I returned to the table and ate my food in silence.

I grew restless because I knew staying silent would bring me to have thoughts that would provoke her ire.

My eyes began running around the room, searching for any topic to bring up.

They eventually landed on the photo on the desk.

"Ms. Wiz, what is that photo? Is that your sister?"

"No, I don't have a sister. That's me and Yume."

So it's really her…

I wonder what changed her to become so different?

Yume…must be the eastern beauty beside Wiz.

"Is she like your friend?"

"Yes. She is my dear friend," said Wiz as she gazed off into the photo.

"…," I remained silent.

I didn't dare to nor want to intrude the space Wiz had erected.

Even though her face was seemingly without emotion, I was convinced she was sad and even regretful.

I just stared awkwardly, not knowing what to say…

"Are you done eating?" asked Wiz, breaking out from her melancholy.

"Yeah."

"Let me wash the dishes," said Wiz as she gathered the empty plates.

"Are you sure?" I asked, worried about her clumsiness.

"Sigh…I'm not so bad at kitchen that I can't wash dishes…"

"Oh, sorry about that," I replied immediately to not provoke her further.

Soon, water began running in the kitchen followed by crashing noises…

Sigh…here we go again…

* * *

*BAM*

"W-What are those?" I asked Wiz of the things she brought down on the table.

"They are the keys to your succe- !," Wiz was cut in short from the sharp pain of patting the books with her hand filled with even more bandaids.

I just stared at her slightly writhing in pain as she held her hands together.

She seemed so capable when we first met…now that I see, she is just another human being.

"Kazuma did you start studying?"

"…," I exercised my right to silence.

"I'm not going to parent you about it but you understand that you need to study yes?"

"Yes…," I replied reluctantly.

Even though I understand the need for study, it's still something I can't just pick up.

All those studying I did was for naught...I know I can use it for my future and all but the cuckery proved to be much more impactful…

At least, I planned to start after the service but…

Another illusory love rippled away in the drop of dew.

It's not her fault to be honest…but who cares! Who the fuck has an amnesia after a proposal!?

What a way to keep me at bay-

"Ouch! What was that for?!" I questioned Wiz.

"Well, why don't you stop dazing off and start studying?" said Wiz as she lifted the book she struck me with.

"Ms. Wiz, I yearn for true gender equality. Just because you are a woman and even though you are my teacher and a friend…doesn't mean I will tolerate any more unreasonable violen-!," I stopped in the middle as I saw the book descending rapidly.

I closed my eyes and raised my hands to guard myself against her attack but for some reason, nothing hit me.

"…Sigh. You're right. Sorry for the violence. I'm just…I never had a man in my room so I'm probably not in my right state of mind…," said Wiz with her cheeks blushing slightly.

"I-I see…," I said as I put down my guard.

Right, she is a virgi-

"_Ehem!_ Although my violence was indeed unacceptable but that doesn't mean you should want equality without consideration for the biological difference. Men are stronger in terms of physique so men should-"

"So men should just stomach the women's exploitation of men's stronger physique?" I said while staring at her.

"N-No…men should not…i-it's ideal for women to not provoke men but men should…I'm sorry…," Wiz finally gave in after my unending deadpan stare.

"GEEEZ! I wonder how it feels like to hit someone without getting punched back eh?" I said proudly as I held my head high.

"S-Sorry…," Wiz seemed helpless as she refused to make eye contact with me.

I was made more proud after hearing her helpless apology as I held my head high even further that it was actually going down due to my arching back.

"Look at you, always violent! I bet that's why you're still sing-" I was cut in short as I was kicked once again.

My arching body began falling to the floor with my head spearheading its way.

"Kek!"

I held my head in my hands as I was writhing in pain.

"Hey! What's wrong with you!? You keep hitting m-" I stopped myself.

I didn't dare to continue when I saw Wiz.

I'm impressed…she actually managed to look even more scary than ever before…

"Kazuma."

"Y-Yes! I'm Kazuma…"

"Women shouldn't provoke men yes?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't you think men shouldn't provoke women too?"

"Y-Yeah…," I agreed after realizing what got her so angry.

"Good," said Wiz as she gave me a smile.

"EEEEK!" I screamed in return.

Her smile was like that of an angel but I knew it was of the devil.

It was in this moment that it was etched into my heart to never provoke Wiz.

"Now then, let's get to study."

"Y-Yes…"

I had no choice but to accept my ticket to hell…

* * *

"Uhh…"

I opened my eyes to find the room in darkness.

Only the fleeting moonlight entering through the window, after passing through the cracks of the clouds, provided any vision at all.

I raised my torso off the table and stretched my back with a yawn.

It was then that I found a blanket on the floor around me.

It must've fallen when I stretched my back.

Even though she was all angry and violent, she is still the kind Wiz.

It seems I fell asleep during the hellish studying Wiz put me through.

To think that she would put me through studies for hours and hours…

Welp, at least, my study had progressed leaps and bounds, which is still a drop in the bucket.

Sigh.

I stood up and turned around only to find the silhouette of Wiz laying on the bed.

"Heh, even though you own the bed, don't you think you should offer it to me out of courtesy?" I asked shamelessly to the sleeping Wiz.

Only her breathing could be heard in the silence.

"Of course, I will decline. But you will have to offer me again to confirm it. Hmm…how should I reply then?"

I contemplated briefly in silence.

"Should I reject? Nah that would be too rude. Should I accept? How can I sleep in the bed with the owner on the floor?"

I contemplated as I approached Wiz until I stopped.

I seemed to have stepped on the bedsheets Wiz spread out for me.

The kind Wiz strikes again…but!

I approached further and whispered to Wiz,

"I know…we should just sleep together. Do you like the idea? I see. I take your silence as a ye- kek!"

W-Wow…I never expected Wiz to pull off a Karate chop in her sleep…

Even though she is now writhing in pain of her bandaided hand, it was clear what her answer was.

"Sigh…," I sighed as I turned around.

I already know the consequence of biting the hands that feed you…

Besides…if I was found in the morning right beside her, I don't think I could survive her onslaught.

"!" I was stunned as my hand was grasped.

"Don't…go…"

"_Gasp!"_

S-She is inviting me?! She was not asleep!?

W-What should I do!? I'm still a virgin with no ski- wait she is also a virgin…

Let's not mind that her grip seemed to have hardened to a mildly painful degree…

It's here…it's time my Dinky meet her Dixie.

Father and mother, even though you guys kicked me out, thank you! Thank you for giving birth to me!

I spun around quickly and got myself ready to jump in.

Bon appeti-

"Please don't go Yume…," said Wiz, her voice trembling.

Yume...

The explosive libido subsided, after hearing her sorrowful plea.

I've never seen Wiz this sad before…except when she stared at the photo…

Sigh…

Why are all the women around me such a boner killer?

It doesn't help that her teary face is illuminated in the moonlight…

I tried shaking off her hand but it didn't work.

I could force it but I didn't want to enact whatever nightmare she was having.

I approached her and whispered to her,

"Don't worry Wiz. I will never leave you. We are together forever. Now, would you please let me go?"

On second thought, that was rather contradictory.

"You're lying…you never returned…I…I was so worried…," said Wiz, strengthening her grasp.

"H-Hey! Really, it's best you let me go or I might do something horrib- ah!"

Wiz pulled me in and cuddled me in her chest.

"You're not going away. I'm not letting you go this time…," said Wiz as she squeezed me further.

*HUUUUUUUFF*

*HUUUUUUUUFF*

*HUUUUUUUUUFF*

W-What a bliss…

The possibility of Wiz waking up gave me an existential threat but it was blown away by the scent of her embrace.

Wiz just cuddled me in tears and I just enjoyed the sensation in heavy breathing…

Yeah I'm a trash but what is to be expected from a virgin?

That's right. I'm with no fault. It's just natural for someone like me to enjoy the first scent of a woman.

How about Yami? Oh I loved her so much that I wanted to consummate our love in marriage but it was all for naught…

I will not waste any more chances!

*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUF- _COUGH COUGH*_

I shouldn't overdo it…

"What's wrong Yume? It's ok I'm here with you."

…Please stop caressing my head…don't let me embark on a guilt trip…

Thankfully, it wasn't long for Wiz to sleep peacefully again as her nightmare seemed to have subsided.

I wonder what happened to Wiz and her friend…

One thing is for sure, the past is past and the present is a present.

Bon appetite.

*HUUUUUUUUUFF*

*HUUUUUUUUUUUFF*

*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF*

*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- _COUGH*_

My exaggerated breathing reverberated in the room with occasional coughing interrupting my greedy attempts.

What is this? It's exciting but comforting at the same time…

Crap, I'm getting sleepy…but I can't leave this chance to enjoy a woman's scent…

I…I will make sure to get out before I fall asle…e…p…

* * *

"Urk…"

I slowly opened my eyes despite the heavy lids as the sunlight knocked on them.

"Mom just give me five minutes…," I said out of bygone habit.

I closed my eyes agai-

"Huh? A strange ceiling…a strange room…and a Wiz asleep…a Wiz asleep?"

…Oh shit.

My dormant head was forced awaken as I came to realize the predicament I'm in.

"Umm…"

Shit! She's about to wake up!

I-I better get out- ah.

Her half-opened eyes met my own.

It seems she was not fully awake. She wasn't responsive.

We just stared into each other until her eyes slowly widened.

"Ah- ah- ah-," Wiz wanted to speak but her shock tripped her.

Tears sprang around her eyes as she was flushing to a dangerous degree.

"Muah, thanks for the good night," I said smiling after kissing her hand that held me

Wow! Good thing I've practiced this for so long…never knew I would say this to her first though.

I've done it now…I better keep the act.

"W-W-W-Whai a-ayu heir?" Wiz didn't trip as much this time but her face blushed even further due to my kiss.

"Oh, don't you remember? You invited me to your bed last night. Forgetful aren't you? How adorable," I said still smiling.

Technically, it's true.

"Wha- wha- wha-," Wiz was broken as she couldn't finish whatever she wanted to say.

Her eyes began running in circles, perhaps in a panicky attempt to confirm my claim.

What a familiar reaction…very reminiscent indeed…

"Ah- ah- ah- ak-," Wiz fainted.

Déjà vu.

A welcoming déjà vu.

I hope she gets an amnesia-

"Kek!" I screamed as something seized my neck.

Wiz would you please be kind with me?

Stop squeezing my neck with your iron claw please?

"I will give you ten seconds to explain why you are here…," said Wiz, her voice trembling, now seated on her bed.

Her face reached an inhumane degree of vermillion. Numerous strand of hair stood up, becoming horns. Of course, her blade-like eyes didn't alleviate, rather, it aggravated her already devil-like figure…not to mention her scarlet death rays piercing me already.

"W-Wiz calm down. You were the one squeezing me between your huge boobs- kek!" I was slapped in short.

"One."

"This is unreasonable! You invited me on purpose to be violen- kek!" Wiz didn't bother to listen as she slapped me on the other cheek.

"Two."

"…Huh! Where am I? What's going o- Kek!" Wiz slapped me again, seeing through my deceptive amnesia.

"Ten."

*SLAP*

I was thrown away, falling with my back on the floor.

I immediately got up and shouted,

"This is an assault! I will call the poli- kek!"

Wiz kicked my chest and now her foot pressed me down to the floor.

She then mounted me on my stomach as she held a knife.

"W-W-Wiz calm down. Thi-This was all a joke, a stupid prank by a stupid kid. None of the things you're thinking ever happened last night!"

"Kazuma…you better explain to me very carefully or else…"

*TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP*

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!," I screamed along with Wiz tapping her knife around my head.

She is no joke!

I almost shit myself!

I-I have to be very careful indeed.

"I-I woke up in the midnight and tried to play a prank on yo- Wait! I swear I didn't do anything!" I shouted as I tried to convince her to not drop her risen knife.

"Go on…"

"I t-tried to go back to sleep but you held me from behin- it's true!"

Wiz ignored me as she dropped her arm.

The knife stopped just before stabbing my eye.

"No more jokes…"

B-But it's real…I can't lie about this or I will have nothing else to make excuse of.

"Ms. Wiz…it's true. I didn't lie about that…"

"…," Wiz didn't reply but stared into me.

I didn't dare to dodge her glaring rays for it would undermine my credibility.

I just stared back at her, braving her fearful eyes.

After a while, she casted her knife aside but was still silent, beckoning me to continue.

"_Whew_…Now that I think about it, you were inviting me in your sleep talk and I thought it was real," I said, altering stuffs she didn't need to know.

"That doesn't explain why you were on my bed this morning," said Wiz questioning why I didn't notice her sleep talk for so long.

"I fell asleep."

"What?"

"It's true. Remember the study session? It was very taxing on me you know? I even passed out in the middle. Actually, can't we just resolve this shenanigan as you giving a reward for my hard work-"

*BANG*

"Ah- ah- ah-," I was stunned at the knife Wiz stabbed beside my head.

Wiz got up as she gave a sigh.

"Sigh…at least you didn't cross the line. I don't know what I will do if you went beyond…"

"M-Marry me? Kek!"

Wiz strangled me in return to my proposal, her face turning scarlet once more.

W-What a way to ring my neck…

*_I fell down and grazed myself…*_

"My phone…Wiz, my phone!"

Wiz loosened her grip as she reluctantly let me go.

"Phew! Hah…hah…hah…," I breathed in the air my lungs needed as I went for my phone.

*_Blood oozes and is seeping through but-*_

"Hello?"

[Hello…]

"M-Mom? What's the matter?"

[I'm sorry my dear child…I'm sorry for misunderstanding you…]

"Huh? W-What's wrong?"

[No…let's discuss at home…come now my child…]

"I-I can go home!?"

[Yes…pftt!]

We ended our call at that.

What was that at the end...?

"Sigh…congratulations…," Wiz gave a defeated sigh as she congratulated me.

"Thanks…"

It's quite awkward after all that.

I folded the bed I never used and gathered my stuff.

I began feeling guilty but I shook it off.

I went to the entrance and donned my shoes.

"Even though it was hectic and unpleasant at times, it was still good to keep you company," said Wiz smiling at me.

"…T-Thanks…," I said awkwardly as my cheeks flushed.

I went to the door and opened it.

"Ms. Wiz," I called out as I turned to her.

"Yes?"

"My proposal still stands so make sure to consider i- EEEKK!"

*BAM*

*BANG*

I shut the door, which received whatever Wiz threw at me.

"Sigh…"

Always with the violen-

I heard stepping noises quickly approaching the door.

"Hehe," I laughed cheerfully as I ran for my life.

* * *

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"I'm home~"

I knocked at the door as I called for them.

I caressed my scratched cheeks as I waited.

Soon, I heard stepping noises quickly approaching the door…

*BAM*

"Kazuma! Huh? Why are you guarding yourself?"

"No. Nothing…," I replied to Aqua as I wiped my sweat.

Wait…

"Why are you here?"

"Hehehe, it's time you offer me some gifts. After all, I was the one who convinced your parents to bring you in," said Aqua with a smug on her face.

I was speechless.

Her antics made me see her as a roach…but she can actually be so considerate.

I smiled at Aqua.

"Thank you."

"!"

Aqua seemed to be startled. I wonder why her cheeks are going red.

It's also mysterious that she didn't follow up with her usual high and mighty attitude.

"Kazuma…"

My mother came out of the door and walked up to me.

She looked at me with her eyes about to drop tears.

"Kazuma…you had it so rough. I should've been more considerate…," said my mother, her voice quivering.

"Huh? What's wrong? Why do you look so sad?"

"Kazuma…," someone else called out to me.

"!"

I was stunned. It couldn't be helped. My father stood there with his tears about to fall.

"I'm sorry for kicking you out…I-I was so heartless…," said my father, his voice also quivering.

"W-What's going on!?" I shouted, confused at their behavior.

"Brother…I'm sorry for disrespecting you…I was wrong. I should never have done that…," said my brother as he looked at me pityingly.

What the fuck is going on…

Déjà vu? Yeah sort of but what is this?

"!"

I was startled. Again, it can't be helped. I never thought she would be here.

"Eris?"

She stood there all awkward as she scratched her cheek.

"Kazuma…why weren't you honest? If you told me the truth, I would never have kicked you out…pf!" said my father.

What was that at the end?

"Honest?"

"Geez Kazuma, just how ashamed were you? You should, at least, be honest about it if you were going to be kicked out," said Aqua.

Huh?

"Honest about what?" I questioned her.

"Pfft! Sorry…just remembering it makes me laugh...," said Aqua holding her laughter.

Remembering it? Makes you laugh? Somehow I have a bad feeling…

"Your parents kicked you out because you pushed us down when we first met right? We just explained to them what really happened. About how you tried to save us from the tractor," said Aqua triumphantly.

""Pftt! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,"" my family broke out into laughter.

I-I see...

Their tears were not that of sadness but that which comes out when one laughs too much...and their pitying looks were just ridicules...

I ignored their laughter and my flushing cheeks as I grabbed Aqua's.

"Fueh? AHHHHHHH!" Aqua screamed as I pulled her cheeks apart.

"Is this the mouth!? Is this the mouth that destroyed the last remnants of my reputation?!"

"Hahaha! You never had one to begin with!" snickered my brother.

"SHUT UP!"

"I-Iss knot mae pault! Eis, Eis iss da won!"

I freed her cheeks to let her explain it to me more coherently.

"It's not my fault! Eris is the one who nagged me this morning to come visit your house! Ow..."

Oh? Eris…even though you may have a grudge against me…isn't this too much?

I took my steps, slowly approaching Eris.

"Huh? W-Wait! I came to help you- K-Kazuma? Kazu-" Eris was interrupted as I held her cheeks.

I smiled at her like I did to Aqua.

"Thank you very muuuch!" I thanked her as I pulled on them.

"AHHHHHHH! Stof, STOOOOOOOOF!"

In this one beautiful morning, the laughter of my family and the scream of Eris littered my house as I gave my revenge on the culprit who destroyed my dignity as a human being.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Hello. I'm late. I have no excuse. Sorry. Now that's done let me discuss about the picture I got for this fanfic and my profile pic. It's an art piece by **ErosPanda**. When I saw the beautiful piece on Aqua, I knew I had to get it. So I asked him/her if I could use it and s/he gave me the permission. So, much thanks to him/her. Anyway, you can look him/her up in Twitter, Instagram, Deviant Art, and Facebook. I would have given links to all of them but alas, Fanfiction won't allow them.

Btw, can you imagine that this chapter is the longest one out of all the chapters? Seriously, I don't even know how I stretched a story of just one night and a morning. And most of them with only two characters! I will try to fix this tendency of mine…

One last thing, should I raise the rate from T to M? I think the stuff I wrote in this chapter is rather mature. I don't know, I'm just trying not to get kicked out of the site.

Oh, one last last thing, Eris and Kazuma pairing is not dead.

**LightDusk16**: Thanks! I am quite proud of what I imitated. It's always fun putting them together.

**nhehvnukl**: Lol. Glad it made you laugh. Btw, this is actually a reference/spoiler. Don't look it up, if you don't get it. It'll spoil things for you…but I guess it's already told in one of the comments.

**D.N. Works **: One of the biggest reasons for me to write this fanfiction was that there wasn't enough fanfictions on those two's pairing. So yeah, they will develop their relationship beyond their current platonic one but I don't know how far they will go…for now.

**CacciaFulmini**: Yes! Yeeees! Thank you for understanding the reference. When I saw Faye Mate, the English va for Aqua, (a great dub btw) voicing Myne, the evil princess, I was like, "Yeah I can use that."

**VanillaFag**: Thanks man for the compliments. Unfortunately, I don't know when those 'romance' parts will ever come. For now, I'm just trying to plant seeds (a.k.a. flags) and let them slowly bloom. I will include romance but no full-fledged M-rated stuff. This is a family-friendly(?) fanfic.


	8. Chapter 7 Back to the School

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

"Thanks for your patronage…"

I guess even the usually cheerful cashier is lethargic in the morning.

But…the look on her face was quite something when she saw me entering with my uniform on.

Did she really had to be that surprised?

I walked the road that lead me to school in this one beautiful morning.

I basked in the sunlight as I passed by numerous stores, many of them still not open.

There were only a handful of people, despite it being a town. It's too early after all.

The school was in sight and only a few students were visible as well.

It still gives me anxiety to see other students but I'm doing better than the first day.

I soon reached the stairs and began walking up.

Why is the school up there? Who thought it was a good idea? Some rich fatass with cars I suppose!

Despite brooding over the same subject for who knows how times in my school life, I eventually reached the top, where I took in several breathers.

I swear…if I meet the guy responsible for this, I will give him my piece of mind.

I took another breath and soon passed the gate.

I was then greeted by the garden I couldn't pay mind to in the first day.

Foxgloves, crocus, coneflower, snapdragon, aster, lilac…all these names Yami pointed out every morning…

Forget it. Let's forget it. Let's not taint such wonderful morning.

"Oh? Ain't it the hero?"

I turned to the voice and found the tough guy kneeling down beside the flowers, watering them.

"What returns the hero so early in the morning?"

"Oh just some business that needs the hero's aid…What about you? What brings you here so early?"

"Everyone has a business to attend to. As for me, I am here to give these beauties the morning dew."

Flowers huh.

"Gazing at them brings back the good past…"

It brings me back the bad ones…

"Tough guy- it's weird to call you that. What's your name?"

"Hmph. I don't have a name…but people call me the Ruffian."

"Ruffian…"

Oops it's almost time.

"I have to go. My people need me."

"Go where you need to, hero."

We both exchanged knowing glances and parted ways.

* * *

I opened the door and found only a couple of teachers seated on their desks, Wiz included.

I approached her and greeted,

"Good morning honey- ow!"

I held my head, which had just been chopped by Wiz.

"Is this how you greet your beloved stu- ouch!"

"Enough with your jokes…," coldly she threatened.

"O-Ok…"

Y-You didn't have to deny so outright…

"Sigh...you shouldn't say such things in the school…"

"Oh? So when we are in private…I will not say such things…"

I averted my gaze as I refused to receive her death glare.

"Kazuma, go clean the warehouse."

"What? Isn't it too big for me?"

"Just do what you and Megumin can. Aqua will do the rest in the afternoon."

"Oh? Megumin is here?"

"She told me she would be at the storehouse," said Wiz as she held her phone.

That Megumin…I thought she doesn't have a smartphone? Let alone a snap one…

Still, I never thought she would do it in the morning.

"I'll be going then."

"Work hard."

I walked to the door and stood at the entry.

"Wiz I'll be back soon so wait for me while making my favorite miso soup," I said as I closed the door.

*BANG*

I began running immediately as the noise of furious steps were growing louder and louder.

* * *

"Geez, what a violent woman," I complained as I caressed my imprinted neck.

Even so, she was quite cute. Choking my neck with her cheeks all red was quite something to behold…

I should get a check soon. I don't want to end up like the Darkness.

I went around the corner of the school building.

I stopped in my track as I saw a stranger…a beauty at that.

The woman turned to me in surprise.

"H-Hello…M-Mr. Panty Thief-"

"Don't call me that!"

"B-But Megumin said you like that title-"

"That bitch!"

"HEEEK! Please don't steal my panties!"

"Why would I!?"

I stared at the woman covering herself in her arms with fear written in her eyes.

She had dark eyes that matched her hair, quite in contrast to her smooth white skin. They were big and round, emphasized in her small face. A plait ran over her head and her pigtails rested upon her busty breasts. She is cute…very cute but she knows Megumin…

"Who are you?"

My question somehow calmed her down.

She seemed hesitant as she gazed at me and then at the floor, looking back and forth.

She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

It wasn't long for her to open her eyes, beaming with determination.

"M-Mine name is Yun- Awww!"

Yun bit her tongue…

She held her mouth as she writhed in pain, her face turning red.

She then swung her arms to the sides, striking this weird pose, revealing her flushed face.

"Yun-Yunyun is mine name! One who shall lead the Crimson Demon Village! May I ask thee of thine name Mr. Kazuma?"

You already mentioned it…

"Umm are you from the Guren Village?"

"I-Indeed I am from the Guren Village."

I stared at her with no expression, devoid of any expectation.

I knew it. I just knew it. With my luck, I will never be able to meet a normal beauty…

It's such a waste for a beauty like her to be a Guren Villager…

"Where are your contact lenses? I thought your kind needs them or they die?"

"Huh? No! We don't die just because of that. U-Umm…it's just too embarrassing to wear them."

Huh? I guess she is not totally lost yet.

"By the way, where is Megumin- huh?"

Her shoulders slumped down as she pressed her forefingers together. Darkness shrouded her and tears were dangling.

"Uuu…of course, you will prefer Megumin over someone like me. You didn't even mention your name Mr. Kazuma. S-Sorry for barging in just like this. You must be terribly disturbed. Even though I went through the shame of introducing myself…Megumin you liar…I should've just worked on my AI system-"

"Hey stop! I didn't say anything so don't assume all that! My name is Satou Kazuma! Happy!? I just want to know where Megumin is!"

"I see! Satou Kazuma. Satou Kazuma! Oh! Megumin is sleeping at the dorm."

"What!?"

She cowered at my shout, which forced me to calm myself.

"May I ask why Megumin is sleeping at the dorm?"

"W-Well…she said having little sleep is bad for growth so she told me to come here in her stead since I'm already overgro-"

"That brat!"

She cowered again at my shout.

How dare she skip!? Welp at least she sent someone much better than her but I'm gonna steal her panties hundred times over!

In private of course. I don't want to go to jail.

I turned to her, my gaze startling her as I asked, "Hey so are you ok with working the hours?"

"A-About that!"

She turned to me, staring intently into me while blushing.

I was taken aback at her sudden attention and waited for her to continue.

"I-I heard from Megumin that if I finish the hours, I can befriend whoever I've worked with…is that true!?"

I guess it's true. Working together certainly builds camaraderie.

"What, you want to be my friend or something-"

"YES PLEASE!"

What vigor…she seems quite fun to make fun of.

"Are you sure? I even stripped your friend you know?" I said, smiling deviously, my hand stretched to her, making this creepy motions with a laugh, "Uhehehe!"

"HEEK! On second thought, I was wrong. I was crazy to actually ask you out! Please don't get close to me you Panty Thief!"

She stepped back covering herself in her arms.

"Wha-! I'm just joking! Don't get cold feet just because of this!" I shouted as I took a step.

"HEEEEEK! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry so please don't strip my panties!"

"It's just a joke! Don't go back!"

My desperate shout was only detrimental as it agitated her further.

"Y-You see, my friendship has a promotion right now. If you become my friend, I will give you all my attention. So don't treat me like a trash!"

I was desperate, trying my best to befriend her, attempting to nullify my mistake…but it made it worse…

"KYAAAAAAAA! STALKEEERRR!"

There she goes, running away…

It was just a joke, a joke! So why is she treating me like a trash already!?

Why did she even approach me if she is gonna run away in the end?

My body fell upon a chair beside the door.

I sighed as I looked up, wondering how I got the cursed name, Panty Thief…

A cold breeze passed by, making me shiver, forcing me to start cleaning as I sought for warmth inside.

* * *

*Kazuma wake up*

Huh?

The noise brought tiny bit of clarity to my drowsy head.

Followed by the noise, my body seemed to shake, waking me up.

"Wake up."

Umm…

I slowly opened my eyes and was able to make out a figure with my blurred vision, probably Wiz with her hand on my shoulder.

"I understand why you're sleepy but you're not allowed to sleep during classes."

I rubbed my eyes and was able to see her even more clearly.

"Sorry," I said with a yawn.

She sighed and let go of me.

*SNOOOOOOOOOORE*

Wiz turned around and raised her hand to the air, only to drop it.

"OW!"

The bitch screamed as she held her sore head.

"What was that for-"

She went silent under the beaming rays of Wiz.

I looked around and was able to find the classmates looking at us awkwardly.

"Ms. Wiz don't you think you're going too easy on Kazuma?" said Dust.

At his remark, she turned to him and asked, "How so?"

"Seriously? You chopped Aqua's head and you woke up Kazuma by shaking him up. If that's not going easy then what is?"

"What!? This is discrimination! Sexist! Bigot! Racist- kek!"

"Quiet."

Dust, you just don't know what kind of relationship we've developed. I mean we even shared a bed-

"Kek!"

I held my head and turned to Wiz, ready to barrage her with complaints.

No words came out though as I witnessed her cold glare and her signature dumb hair standing up.

"Wha- What do you mean? There is no way she is going easy on me," I said with a forced smile.

Dust wasn't able to reply as sweat drenched his forehead, his eyes focused on Wiz with dread in his eyes.

"She is equally strict on me and Aqua. Right mom-"

Oh shoot!

Her hand latched onto my head with iron grip. Dust turned around, his back seemingly trembling.

"Ma'am, may I know why you're holding my head?"

"You said mom."

"No, I said ma'am as in madam."

"I'm not old enough to be your mother."

"I know right. So would you please let go of me Ms. Wiz?"

She didn't have to reply as her eyes…her lasers refused to hear any excuses.

"You stupid NEET. You called her a mom! She is more of a spinster than a mom! You should really think before you speak. _TEEHEEHEE!"_

Her stupidity is something to behold…

Wiz's eyes shifted, going to the side, toward Aqua, before her head could follow.

It was a scene akin to a horror film as Aqua stopped and hiccupped before the nightmare.

"O-On second look, you look really young- urk!"

Wiz's other hand went on top of Aqua, squeezing her blue head as she did mine as well.

""OWOWOWOWOWOWWwwwWWwWW""

Our screams sounded in the silent room until the lunch bell rang.

Wiz let go of us with a warning, a silent warning, laser warning, leaving us writhing in pain.

The room became noisy with students leaving and grouping to eat food.

"Where are you going to eat?" I asked.

"Oh my, getting lonely aren't we? Sorry shutinNEET, my beauty should not be monopolized by you only. It needs to be shared by everyone!"

"L-Like I'm getting lonely! I-I have other friends to eat with!"

"No need to get so angsty lonelyNEET. It's a no brainer that you don't have a single friend to eat with."

Bitch! I hate factual bitch!

With no words to return, I left my desk and went for the door with my packed lunch.

"Don't worry. I will eat with you from time to time."

"I won't even if you beg me to!" I replied without bothering to look back.

My steps took me to a place only loners would be. No, it's not a restroom. That would be too sad of a place to eat lunch.

I opened the door.

Fences were all around with no roof on top but the sky. Mountains stretched in the horizon with the town in the vicinity.

Winds caressed my cheeks as it carried away my lonely tears.

I thought I would be able to make friends with how they praised me last time but of course, this isn't some fiction where you can make friends after a major event…or is it just my pessimism?

"Duel!"

"Huh?"

I was able to hear a voice behind the entrance. I followed the voice as it went louder and louder.

""Rock, paper, scissors!""

"I win!" shouted Yunyun as she raised her arm in the air, exuding happy auras of victory.

"GRRR!" Megumin, on the other hand, was growling in anger, coupled with desperation in her eyes.

Arue was indifferent despite the commotion.

What the hell are they doing?

"Kazuma!" Megumin called out.

She got close, her eyes latched onto my lunch box.

"You are here to eat yes? Why don't we eat together? We can share food!"

"Get off! Get your hands off my lunch!"

I pushed her away in my vain attempt as her grip was too desperate.

"AHH! Don't abandon me! If I don't eat properly, my body won't grow!"

"It has no potential so give it up!"

"What did you say!?"

She threw punches as she destroyed herself.

Her knees gave in as she collapsed and her stomach growled angrily.

Her hands were still clinging onto my sleeves as she begged, "Please share me your food…"

"Sigh…ok-"

"THANKS!"

Megumin sprang up as she revived, snatching away my lunch.

I was dumbfounded as I realized that I was tricked.

"Hey! Don't eat all by yourself! It's my lunch!"

I fought for my lunch even as it was being unpacked.

Of course, desperation or whatnot she is too young to fight me as she was immediately subjugated.

As I sighed, I was able to find Yunyun and Arue staring at me.

Yunyun was frightened as if her previous happy atmosphere was but a lie.

Arue was frowning, perhaps remembering our previous fiasco.

"H-Hi…"

"HEEK!"  
"Hmph!"

My greeting was met with two differing reactions but the same effect.

Am I really that unlikable? B-But it's not my fault. Yunyun is just such a scaredy cat and Arue is just too intolerable to criticisms…wait why am I all sad being rejected by the villagers? I should celebrate that I am being rejected!

"Hey, get off me. We've got only a finite amount of time. It's not wise to waste it so let's eat already!"

"I would've done that only if you weren't so crazy over my lunch."

"I can assure you that I have reflected and won't repeat the same mistake."

"Easy to say…sigh."

I got off her and she kept the promise.

"Say, are you ok with sharing the same chopsticks?"

"You virgins are always concerned with such trivial things. Of course I will be fine," she said as if it's a matter of fact.

I fully unpacked the lunch as my favorite nuggets, coupled with vegetables, were revealed.

Megumin's eyes beamed as she began drooling like a dog. As expected, she immediately pounced but I stretched my arm, keeping her at bay.

I ate a piece and one mouthful of rice as I handed the chopsticks over.

She snatched them and stabbed two nuggets and downed it in one bite.

She blossomed in smile as she received vital nourishments.

I couldn't help but stare at her even as I felt my cheeks going hot.

"W-Why are you blushing!?" she questioned as her cheeks went red as well.

"W-Well, you know…"

"Don't be embarrassed! You're making me embarrassed too!"

Her demand was not something I could fulfill with my virgin heart.

"Are you guys on a honeymoon or something…," questioned Arue.

""No we're not!""

Arue shrugged as she ate her own lunch.

Yunyun did the same but she kept giving glances at us.

Megumin noticed this as she grinned.

"Yunyun, do you know why I lost?"

"Huh? N-No."

"It's because I wanted to eat with my friend, to strengthen our friendship. Yes, I may have lost the battle but I have won the war."

"_Gasp!_ I-I see. How formidable indeed. As expected of my rival…"

Yunyun…that's definitely a lie. You don't have to look at her with so much shock…

"It's just a natural thing for me so you don't have to be so jelly," she finished off with a condescending smile.

"Huh!? I-I'm not that plump! Oh, I see. You're just jealous because I have big breasts unlike you- kya!"

"No I'm not you loner!"

"Why'd you throw my chopsticks!?"

Megumin ignored my question as she threw herself upon Yunyun.

Arue quickly distanced herself even as a commotion broke out.

Megumin mounted Yunyun on top of her stomach. Her hands went for her breasts but Yunyun snatched her wrists before she could.

"Unhand me! I will squeeze those boobs out of its juice!"

"I'm not pregnant! No milk will come out!"

"_Gasp!_ Don't induce me with such censorious knowledge!"

"Liar! You already know that! My laptop has a virus because of you!"

"Why you fatso!"

"I'm not fat! I've only gained 2 kilos…"

Wow…is this what MAD looks like? They just destroyed each other. Look, even Arue has this face of disappointment.

I approached them and held Megumin by her shoulders with my arms.

"Let me go! I have to show her what it means to fight me!"

"Ow! Calm down!"

She threw blind attacks and she seemed unwilling to listen. So I brought my mouth near to her ear.

"Steal," I whispered.

Megumin shivered as she brought her hands to her skirt.

I released her and she sat on the floor with her face going red and shoulders trembling.

"That's a warning shot. Do it again and I will…," I trailed off as I saw the two's reactions.

Yunyun was about to cry and Arue had this eye of disgust.

"Even I wouldn't write a villain as shameless as you…"

"H-Hey!"

"Please don't steal my panties!"

"I won't!"

"You piece of shit! If you dare steal my panties again, I will blow you up!"

"Then I won't share my lunch!"

"Hey that's playing dirty!"

You little brats! Why do I have to be treated this way!?

"What did I even do!? Did I do something so wrong that I have to be treated so horribly!?"

"You stole my panties!"

"That's because you summoned them bees!"

"Urk!"

One down.

"You dared spit on my baby!"

"Your book deserves to be burned!"

"The fuck did you say?!"

Two down.

"Y-You sexually harassed me…"

"You deserve it with such fatass boobs!"

"F-Fatass?!"

Three down.

See? There is no reason at all. They are tainting my innocence with their unreasonable horridness!

So guys…don't look so scary…don't come any closer…

"Megumin! Why are you coming to me with your bomb!? You, at the very least, truly deserved it!"

"Don't worry. I confirmed it as a failed bomb. Yes, I'm just playing a prank on you even if it means calling the cockroaches or the bees. Besides, I have to take you out while I have the chance."

Damn bitch!

"Arue! Learn to take criticisms! If you don't, your baby will remain a special child forever! So don't point your pen at me!"

"Special!? What's special is your taste you dipshit!"

Fucking bitch!

"Yun- EEEEEK! Why are you holding a knife!? Where did you even get it!?"

"I don't know and I don't care! I've been called a fatass by a guy…I will kill you and I will kill myself!"

What a sicko!

Shit! Shit! Sheit!

I have to run away!

"AHH! A friendly UFO!"

"Friendly!? Where? Where!?"

"Dipshit that old trick only works in fiction."

"Heh, with my superb intelligence, I saw it from a light year away."

"AHH! A legendary katana just cut through the sky, opening a portal to another dimension!"

""Where!? WHERE!?""

Easy peasy.

I ran away quickly without forgetting to lock the door.

I quickly went to the store for food. I quickly told one of the teachers to check out the rooftop. And I quickly went to the men's restroom.

As I sat on one of the bowls, I sighed in relief.

Now I'm safe. They will never find me here.

Maybe I should have told the teacher just before the break ends…but I fear the repercussion if I locked them up there for so long…besides, they won't be too crazy to barge in the boys' restroom.

I ate the bread I brought and waited for the bell to ring.

"DIPSHIT! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?"

Arue's voice reverberated throughout the corridor.

I was alarmed but all I could do was cross my fingers that they won't be too crazy to come in here.

"What the hell?"

"Who's this dipshit?"

The boys outside rightfully questioned.

*BANG*

Shight.

"DIPSHIT!"

"What the- why are you here!?"

"Go out while I talk nice…"

"A-Are you all trans-men or something!? I don't care, it's still a sexual abuse- ok, we will get out so don't point that pen at me!"

Don't leave me!

"Ishss oo cosch au n-! _Cough! Cough!"_

"Megumin, talk after you eat."

"_Ehem!_ If you come out now, we will end it swiftly."

I killed my breath as I covered my mouth in hope of stalling the time.

There was silence. Only the noise of their footsteps, as well as someone eating, sounded in the room.

As their steps grew closer, I hugged my knees tighter, preventing my legs from being exposed through the narrow opening below the door.

Step. Step. Step. Step. Step.

*BANG*

EEEEEEK!

"I know you're in there! Get out!"

"Ok! Ok! I will go out! Just let me wipe my poop!"

The door soon opened.

"What is it? What did I do?"

"Get out…"

And so he left.

"Look! The door here is locked but there are no legs below!" cried out Yunyun.

"Found you, you piece of shit!"

*BANG* *BANG BANG BANG*

"OPEN! Open this damn door now!"

"_Gulp phew_ step aside! I shall blow this door to smithereens!"

"Mr. Kazuma, if you open the door, I will make sure to end it quickly and hopefully, painlessly…"

EEEEEEEEEEK!

…This is it. This is where it all ends…

"Oh? Ladies, what are you three doing here?"

Dust?

"I see. I see. Even the honorable Guren Villagers can stoop so low to bully one guy as a group."

"This is none of your business."

"None? How can I leave behind a fellow student?"

Dust!

"Oh? What do you want to do with that pen? Stab me? Heh, no need. You see, I will be the one to bring this guy out!"

*BANG*

Bruh.

"You fucking asshole! Don't you have balls!?"

"Kazuma? Heh, all the more reason I should bring you out then!"

"I knew it!"

"GET OUT!"

"Please open the door!"

That's it. I'm done playing the nice guy. I don't care if I'm branded a sexual harasser. I'll strip them all and parade their pictures in the internet!

Oh? It's silent all of a sudden. Now it's my chance.

*BANG*

I kicked the door open and raided my bag!

"STEAAAAAAL!"

Black lingerie panties. An underwear for adult and quite rightfully so…

"We have to leave!"

"Huh? What did you do this time!?"

Dust left with a girl who had a ponytail.

*BOMP*

Yunyun collapsed and she was in the verge of breaking into tears.

Megumin held her skirt as her face was going red, probably reminded of the emptiness.

Arue stood tall but her eye…her eye stung me with scorn.

I turned back to the fidgety woman before me.

"I can explain. They were bullying me so…"

Death aura stormed the room or so I felt.

"L-L-Look! We're in the restroom so you can wear it right now!"

"It's the men's…," said she as tears sprang up at the ends of her eyes.

"EEK! Talk, let's talk!"

"It's too late…"

Oh shit! Her brown eyes went dark! Her hands are going for my neck!

No, I'm still too young!

I stretched my arms trying to catch her wrists but they went all wrong.

*PLOP*

My fingers were softly but completely enveloped by her plump breasts, a sensation that sent shivers down to my balls.

Time froze and everything went silent. Nobody could move nor say a word before the shocking scene.

Squeeze.

My hands moved on instinct…and her body shivered.

Soon, the clock ticked again as the woman before me collapsed into my arms, her nose spewing blood.

"Wiz! WIIIIIIIIIIZZ!" I shouted.

This is my chance!

I quickly blocked her nose with a tissue and carried her on my back.

"This isn't the time to fight! I have to save Wiz!"

Thankfully, no one stopped me. Even that Arue seemed startled when I passed by…

I went out and headed to the clinic with intentional unsteady steps.

How thicc…but just how thin is my neck today?

I hope she has an amnesia…

"Kazuma! There you are…why are you carrying Wiz?"

What's this? A bitch in an empty corridor?

"Go away. I have no time for you."

"Wha- nooooo! Please stay with me! Don't leave me alooooone!"

"What are you crying for? Hey! Let go of my leg!"

Why is everyone out to get me today!?

"I will give you my favorite meatballs so let's eat together!"

"You are the one who said you will eat with someone else!"

"But! But…no one wanted to eat with me…"

"Ah. I understand…nobody wanted to eat with a roached woman. It's just too unhygienic."

"!"

The filthy Roach leaped, daring to creep upon me.

"Hey! Don't shake me! Wiz is too heav- kek!"

Based on her breathing, she is still unconscious…but her arm choking my neck tells me otherwise.

"You NEET! WEEB! PERVERT! DEGENERATE! I will tell everyone what you do every night!"

"Whose doing what!? Say anymore and Imma fuck you up!"

"EEEK! I knew it. I'm next! You will steal my panties next!"

"Oh, don't worry that will never happen."

"_Hic…! _WAAAAAAAAA!"

"Hey! Ah-"

*BOMP*

Upside down world…or so the conspiracy theorists say…wait it was also in the Stranger Objects...argh! Never mind.

Today, I have reached the upside down world as two landscapes collided into each other with me in the middle.

There are two pairs of mountains- one pair of mountains and one pair of hills to be more exact, were pressed against me from the top and the bottom, respectively.

Her plump- I mean voluptuous body rested atop mine, her curves welding onto my own.

Aqua was below me. Her body was quite small compared to the giant- tall woman atop me but she still got the curves that would make any men go crazy.

All these…all these I could have enjoyed…but our eyes had to be met and they were locked for who knows how long.

I can feel her breathing. I can hear her heart beating.

Even as my heartbeat deafened her own, Aqua grumbled, "Get off…!"

"R-Right…"

I tried to move to the side but Wiz proved to be quite heav- favored by gravity as my chest grazed over the hills which invoked a yelp from her.

W-What was that!?

As startled as I was, I tried to escape but our limbs were in the way, causing us to stumble, entangling our body.

"What are you doing!?"

"I don't know!"

We paused for a bit as we heaved for breath.

I tried moving my arm but it hit her breast.

"Hey!"

So I moved the other arm instead but it hit her head.

"Ow!"

With my arms compromised, I put my leg in motion but it was obstructed as it was locked between her legs.

"Not there!"

"What the hell do I do then!?"

"AARRGGHH!"

Aqua forced herself out as she stood up.

I was thrown away but managed to keep Wiz safe.

I turned to Aqua, ready to complain, but was stunned instead.

"What the hell are you T-posing for?"

"I'm reclaiming my dominance!" she exclaimed even as her face was flushed deep red.

Says the woman who dragged herself on the floor just a moment ago…

As she noticed my gaze, she hugged herself, covering her chest in the process, and averted her gaze.

I couldn't help but look away as well…

I can't believe this…I can't believe my heart is actually racing for Aqua…

Nay, it must be Wiz! Even now her huge breasts- kek!

My embarrassment coupled with an actual emergency, a.k.a. Wiz collapsing, propelled me to stand.

"Hey I uh…sorry…I-I will go to the clinic then-"

Aqua held my sleeve before I turned to leave.

"L-Let's eat together after you return…," said she even as she lowered her head, covering her eyes with her bangs.

"No thanks. I already ate mine."

"Eat more! Eat more! You shittyNEET!" she screamed as tears bloomed.

Shut up. What do you expect me to say? I was but a NEET just recently…

"Not today…maybe tomorrow."

I'm not hungry after all.

"What!? I need a companion right now! How can someone like me eat alone!?"

"Shut up Karen!"

"Karen who!?"

"Never mind…"

I decided to ignore her entitled bitchassery and went to the clinic.

Of course, Aqua kept nagging me on the way.

* * *

"Are you alright? Your face is quite pale."

"O-Oh…I'm fine don't worry. So what's the topic again?"

"Right…"

I looked beyond the window.

The sun was setting and its bloody hue shaded the sky.

I found myself shaking in fear.

"Are you even listening? Look, I think it's best you rest before continuing…"

"Y-You think so?"

She nodded with a concerned look.

I clasped my hands together in front of my heavy head and they supported it.

"Lalatina…what should I do?" I spoke hopelessly.

"Don't call me that! Call me Darkness!"

"Lalatina…I don't know what to do…"

"Darkness!"

"Lalatina…I need your help…"

"Sigh…what's the problem?"

I took a deep breath.

"What do you do when Wiz is mad?"

"Wiz? She is mad?"

"Yes. Don't ask how but she is mad at me."

"Are you sure she is mad? To strangers, she can be easily misunderstood."

"Yes, I'm hundred percent sure."

"Well, considering the level of your degeneracy, it's quite possible."

"I don't want to hear that from you!"

She ignored my comment as she contemplated.

"Hmmm. How far is she mad? She can get violent at times but that's just bonding for her…"

…I can see how she became her friend.

"Let's just say that she is out to kill me."

"_Gasp! _H-How env- enomous…"

"It's not the time for jokes!"

"I-I wasn't joking! But…for Wiz to be that mad…quite frankly, I've never seen it."

"Sigh…you're so useless…"

"It's this supposed to be the attitude of someone asking for help?" she questioned and continued in a mumble with a slight blush, "I hate myself for actually feeling excited…"

I couldn't care less for what she said as I feared for my demise…anytime now, she can wake up…

She would surely find me. I can be beneath my bed, within my parents' saving account, even in the white house for that matter, or experimented upon by extraterrestrial creatures in Area 51…she will still find me…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I'm gonna die!

"C-Calm down!"

She tried to calm me down but it did no good as my mind went out of control.

"Lalatina! Let's elope! You're a degenerate slut but I am willing to tolerate your antics if you support me financially!"

"D-Do you even realize what you're saying!? You shameless brute, of course, I shall refu-, I refus-" she paused then she squirmed as she mumbled with heavy panting, "I should refuse…I know I should refuse…but! _BUT~_"

*BAM*

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!"

She is here! The nightmare is here! I didn't have the time to be disgusted!

Wiz stood there at the doorstep accompanied by a tempest of death aura. She stared at me, devoid of expression. Her eyes were akin to an abyss, having lost their original color. With face deathly pale, she seemed like a corpse. Her hair danced in the non-existent wind as she trudged away from the door.

I can tell…she wants nothing but my head.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I threw myself and hid behind Lalatina.

"Do something! DO SOMETHING!"

"Wiz, c-calm down. Let's talk. I'm sure you can reach an understanding if you two talk it out-"

"He stripped me…"

"What!?" exclaimed Lalatina.

"He fondled my breasts…"

"_Hyun!_" panted Lalatina as she hugged her chest.

"He…he even clothed me back…"

"_Hyah~_" climaxed Lalatina.

"I-I didn't do it! I asked Aqua- urk!"

Lalatina turned around as she revealed to me her feral state of flushed and panting face, coupled with a drool.

"You fiend! You FIEND! Why…why only her!? Why can't you do it to me too!? Boobs is it!? Mine surely lose in terms of size but I'm proud of their shape! If you so desire, I can even wear a thong so you can steal it!"

"Calm the fuck down! Do you even know what you're saying!?"

"How can I stay calm when you're so discriminatory!?"

"It was all an accident! AN ACCIDENT!"

"Lie…that's a lie! How can you have such sexual accidents all the time!?"

"I don't know-"

I found Wiz slowly but steadily approaching me.

I turned to look back at Lalatina and lost all hope before the slut.

USELESS!

Wait…I can do that…I can…but…

Argh! I have to live!

"Lara seat!"

"Huh?"

"I said seat! Sigh...ok. Let's start easy. Hand!"

"!"

Lara flushed deep red and she began panting like a dog as she squatted.

She began sticking out her head toward my shoe…so I reminded her, "Hand!"

"Woof!"

"Good girl!"

"Woof! Woof! Heh heh heh."

…I feel like shit.

Seeing her sticking her tongue out is not helping me at all…

"Lara no heels!"

"Woof?"

"Geez, no shoes!"

"Woof!"

"Wear mine!"

"Woof!"

"Stand!"

"Woof!"

I got on her back and locked my legs over her stomach as I told her, "Now, RUN!"

"Woof…"

Even Lara seemed to be reluctant so I caressed her head and under her chin.

"You can do it Lara. I know you can! Look, I will even give you your favorite reward if we can esca-"

"RUFF!"

Whoa! Fast! With this speed I may be able to escape!

Heh, even Wiz seemed baffled at our ordeal. Quite a welcoming bonus!

"Don't you dare!" says the reaper in the distance.

"Hasta la vista, bit-"

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

"-ch…"

She just threw a knife! Thankfully, it only cut my hair but she threw a knife!

"Wiz are you crazy!?"

*WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

"EEEEEEEEEKK!"

I ducked my head and the knife passed through where my head used to be, barely missing Lara's head…let's not mention about her excited panting.

I immediately cried out, "Lara princess style!"

"RUFF!"

Lara picked me out of her back and carried me in her arms.

I regretted my decision as I was able to see her face up close.

Her mouth was wide open as drool fell off and her tongue stuck out. There was no reason in her eyes as she stared at me with nothing but carnal lust. Her warped face brought nothing but disgust to my heart...

It's a sight I would never want to see ever again.

I balled myself in an attempt to hide my body even more as I cried, "Try again bitch!"

I couldn't see her but I was sure she is now very distressed.

We soon came out of the building so I gave my next command, "Into the woods!"

"RUFF!"

Lara sped through the ground despite the few onlookers, not minding- excited by their glances.

"Kazuma- KYAAAAAAA!"

As we passed by the warehouse, Aqua screamed off into the distance, perhaps seeing a Wiz.

I've decided. I won't look back at Wiz. I already saw enough fear in Aqua's eyes.

Lara breezed through the trees, going up the hill, followed by a Wiz.

Lara seemed faster than Wiz and she wouldn't be caught if she didn't carry me.

As she panted for air…or for whatever reason, her drool kept falling onto my uniform but I didn't point it out in fear of impeding her speed.

I just let her run wild.

We entered an area even I am not aware of as the two didn't let up.

Suddenly, Lara's panting grew even heavier and her eyes focused intensely on the front.

I turned to see what she was seeing-

"Back off! BACK OFF! Are you listening!? BACK- ah-"

The sensation of gravity overwhelmed me as my balls and stomach went funny.

Lara stuck her head out to the sky as she howled, "_Awoooooooooooo!"_

"BLOODY FUCKING BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" I screamed as we both fell off the cliff.

I have to stretch my limbs! I have to utilize the most drag!

I struggled in the air, desperately trying to face below.

When I managed to, even as I stretched my limbs, I couldn't help but curse, "Ah shit."

*SPLASH*

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-

My stomach! My guts! EVEN MY BALLS! IT FUCKING BUUUUUURNS!

I don't know how long I agonized over the pain but I managed to reach the shallow part of this small river.

"AAAARRRGGGHHH! HAAAAAAARRRGGH- kek!"

An arm wrapped my neck as it choked the living daylights out of me.

From the strands of hair dangling over, I could tell it was Wiz.

Of course…she is crazy enough to- kek!

Alas, 'tis my end. The only saving grace is her boobs- kek!

To die right beside boobs…kek! M-Maybe, it's a fitting end for me…

If I could…I wish to see Yami again…

"Wiz! Don't do it!"

My fading consciousness was brought back by her shout.

"He is your student remember!?"

It was almost imperceptible but I felt it. Her arm went loose slightly but it wasn't enough to let me breath.

Lara kept tugging at her arm which didn't budge at all.

"You were so proud to get another friend! You can't lose him just like this!"

Her arm slowly lost its strength, allowing me to gasp for air.

"Wiz…I knew it. You're kind after a-ho-aaaall!"

I was made completely free, rendering me to fall to the ground. Then, my lips were pursed.

I opened my eyes only to find her blue eyes staring into me.

What was pressed onto my lips was soft and enchanting, casting away my thoughts, forgetting to even breath.

Her cheeks immediately flared up as she pulled back.

She covered her face with her hands and screamed, "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A kiss with her…should I be happy that I did it with a hot chick? Or sad that I did it with a degenerate? I don't know. I just have to think about something else so my heart won't burst out of its rib cage.

Suddenly, my collar was pulled, immediately followed with a slap.

"What the hell was that fo- kek!"

I sucked in whatever complaints I had as I saw her cold brown eyes-

"Kek!" I screamed and asked, "Why!?"

At my question, she trembled even as her veins popped out.

"Why…? Why you ask?"

I don't like where this is going…

"You proposed to me and this is how you act? Kissing another woman in front of me?"

"She is the one who kissed! Besides, that's rich coming from the woman who tried to kill me- kek!"

"To someone who was so shameless to put back my panties on…death is rather a light sentence."

"I didn't do it! I asked Aqua to do it!"

Wiz didn't seem to believe me as she tried to call her, only to find her phone to be broken.

"Tch!"

"Just what do you think I am? I didn't stoop so low to touch an unconscious woman…," I trailed off.

"Now that's rich."

My swelled cheeks prevented me from retorting, i-it's definitely not due to my loss of words...

There was an uncomfortable silence as we just stared at each other grumpily.

Only the flowing water decorated the scene.

"Say…were you really serious about my proposal?"

Her eyes widened briefly then she wore a smile.

"It was but a child's play to me."

"I-I see…"

Welp, I guess this is only natural. I'm still too young for her after all…

So stop crying me…stop sweating tears…

Wait...am I crying because I was rejected or because I don't have to mind this psycho of a woman anymore?

"…Huhu," Wiz laughed…

Startled, I faced the other side, unwilling to show my face.

"Kazuma."

"What is it?"

"Kazuma."

"What?"

"I need you to face me."

I wiped my tears away and turned my cheek only to meet her finger…

"…You know, this is very childish."

"Huhuhu, childish or not, it's very amusing to me."

"Why you!"

I was about to finally unleash my manliness upon her but then it was sealed with her kiss to my forehead.

"Wha- wha- wha-" I mumbled as my cheeks began flaring.

"Gotcha, you cheeky bastard."

I couldn't return her a word but mumble incoherently.

"You are still seventeen Kazuma. Perhaps, try again after you graduate."

With a smile, Wiz left as she said, "Take care of Darkness for me."

…Is she thottering me?

She rejected me but decides to kiss me? So I can keep being interested in her?

What a thot…I've never seen her as such but I guess, you can never truly know a woman…

Perhaps, though a total degenerate but a transparent woman like Lara is the best bet for me…

I approached her, who still squirmed in the same place.

"Lara hand."

"Hwe?"

"Let's go home."

"W-Woof!"

At least, she is not lying about her faults…

"What the hell are you crawling for!? Walk!"

"WOOF!"

"_AH-CHOO!"_

It's cold...

"Nnn nnn nnnn...," whined the bitch.

I was dumbfounded at the length she is willing to take...

Giving me those upturned eyes while rubbing my leg with her head...

I couldn't help but let the gripping guilt thrash my heart.

Oh God, what have I done...

* * *

**Author's Note**: Long time no see. Now, let me explain what happened. I had a dream. It was a dream about zombies and I was inspired to make an original story about it. But...when wrote my first chapter...it was a fucking vanilla hentai. No, seriously. It's a fucking vanilla hentai. This shocked me and prompted me to take a little(?) break. Anyway yeah, that's what happened.

**LightDusk16**: I'm late but I'm back!

**nhehvnukl**: NOICE. Good thing I didn't spoil you anything.

**CacciaFulmini**: Glad you had fun. As for her backstory...I also don't know the full details.

**VanillaFag**: I never knew I would actually fulfill your wish in the next chapter.

**P.S. **On hind sight, this is a convoluted mess, in my view. Too much events with zero regards to pacing...I will try to fix it but tell me if it's alright so I will keep it.


	9. Chapter 8 What a Shameless Fool

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

"_Achoo!"_

It's cold…

"_FFF!"_

I sniffed up my snot as I pulled the blanket.

"Kazuma I already called the school so just rest well today."

"Mom…I know you have a hidden daughter who is both a beauty and normal. Please let her take care of me."

"Geez, have you forgotten the taste of my frying pan? Wait, I will cook a sunny and whack you right after," said mom as she quickly left the room with a smile.

I locked the door.

"_AH-CHOO!"_

I limped toward the bed and buried myself inside the blanket.

My body shivered despite the warm blanket. Sweat soaked my body and my snot streamed endlessly.

I feel like shit…

Is this the punishment for corrupting that woman even further?

She was a degenerate to begin with and now she is but an animal…

If that's the case…I definitely deserve it.

I placed a wet towel over my forehead.

Welp, all I want to do right now is to take a rest.

Good night.

* * *

Umm…

Something cool touched my forehead.

I was wary at first but soon relaxed as it comforted me.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw my roof. I then gazed to the side and found Lalatina seated on the floor on her knees.

She noticed my gaze then she smiled as she said, "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

I didn't return a reply but sniffed my nose.

"I was hoping you've recovered well enough to resume the lesson but I suppose that's not the case."

"How come…you haven't caught a cold?"

"I never caught a cold," she paused then continued, "Well, there was this one time I was able to catch a cold but since then, I am as healthy as ever."

"Tch!"

Boasting about your health in front of a sickly person-

"_Hyun!"_

Sigh…

I stared at her with deadpan eyes even as she panted.

I then saw her lips and couldn't help but boil my cheeks further…

She noticed this and she flared up as well.

"Pfft! Getting all shy…what a virgin," I gave a snarky comment, masking my embarrassment, possessing the spirit of Eromin.

"W-What's wrong with being a virgin? Maintaining virginity before marriage is a virtue!"

"Hey, don't shout at me. I'm sic- _cough! Cough!"_

"S-Sorry…"

I turned away from her, vexed at her inconsideration, but the towel fell so I had to face the roof again.

Then came the silence.

As I tried to sleep despite the awkward air, I heard a rustle by my side.

So I turned to look, only to be stunned.

Over her head were ears...yellow furry ears. Wrapped around her neck was a choker with a crafted name: Lara…

She noticed my gaze, which made her flush. She then stuck her tongue out as lust overshadowed her eyes. Not to mention the imaginary tail wagging behind her back.

"M-Mashter p-pleashe ashcept my shincere gift," said Lara quite coherently so despite her tongue sticking out.

I stared at her hand that was stretched to me, upon which was a handle connected to her choker.

I couldn't help but shudder even as I began having a headache.

"Whyai- Why are you crying?"

"Sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"Why are you apologizing? I-I'm sorry it seems I disturbed your rest."

"Don't you…don't you feel any shame?"

"Shame? …Truth be told, it was quite shameful to do such things…to devolve myself to that of an animal."

As if…

You were so excited the whole time…wait, is it just like masturbation? The guilt and shame that come right after?

See? Her squirming began.

"I-I just can't hold it in…my body yearns for your touch, your commands, and your rewards…my body can no longer do without you…"

What the frickidy fuck?

"No…"

"What?"

"I said no…"

The handle fell off and she stopped panting. Her ears seemed to have drooped and her imaginary tail sagged.

"B-But you treated me like a dog…you even marked me with your scent!"

"When…?"

"You gave me the pet name Lara!"

"That's not a scent! Urk!"

My shout was followed with a headache.

"Lalatina…"

"Darkne- Lara!"

"Lalatina…I can't treat you like a pet…you're my friend."

Lalatina rose triumphantly with her fists in the air.

"Friendship be damned! My body can no longer be satisfied with a mere friendship!"

"Argh! Is your head as hard as your abs?! Why are you so dense!? I don't want to be the master of a bitch like you!" I conveyed my thoughts despite the onslaught of headaches.

"_Hah-_ wait what did you call me? Hard?"

"That's right, I called you hard! Harder than Putin's safe! Unlike your pussy, gaping wide open!"

"_Gasp!_ You…YOUUUUUUUUU!"

The slutty bitch pounced with fire flaming her head.

"Kek! Let go…let go of my neck!"

"I'm a virgin! VIRGIN I tell you!"

"Liar! You're too slutty to be a virgin!"

"How dare you! I will smash you to pieces!"

Shit! This is getting dangerous. I might faint at any time now and who knows what she will do to me!

"La-Lara sit!"

"Too late for that!"

"How about our friendship!? You wanted to become my tutor out of friendship right!?"

"Not only did you call me hard, you also trampled upon my proposal!"

"What kind of proposal is that!?"

What else is there!? Pet play, insult, reward…right, her reward!

"Don't you remember about the reward!? If you kill me now, you will never get them!"

Slowly, it worked. Her hands loosened as I fell on the bed.

Lalatina was there seated in front me. She pouted with a blush as she annoyedly looked at me, conflicted to receive or to punish.

"_Cough! Cough! Cough!" _I exaggerated my coughs then continued, "I want to reward you now but as you can see, I'm sick."

"Then die."

"Hold up. There is one way for you to get the reward."

"…What is it?"

I lowered my tone and solemnly looked at her, "Deep, deep into the mountain lies a mushroom so great and wondrous that can heal any sickness there is."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Wait I'm not done yet. _Ehem!_ Protected by wild beasts-"

"W-Wild beasts!"

"…also hidden in the lush vegetation, only a few made it into the hands of men and written down into history…"

"_Gulp."_

"If you can find it, I will be able to recover and give you the most hideous of reward...will you do it?"

With a solemn and proud look, she stood up.

"For my ill friend, I shall go out and search for this legendary mushroom!"

"Now we're talking!"

"Wait for me. I shall return shortly!"

With that, she stormed out of the room, her cosplay still intact.

Finally, she is gone. Gone after a lie.

The mushroom is but a made up fiction and there are no wild beasts nearby, as evidenced by my childhood.

Let's just pray that she won't be lost in the mountain. If that happens, she can curse her foolishness and wait for the rescue team.

As the torn is finally plucked out, I fell on my bed and closed my eyes.

Huh, somehow I feel better after all that fiasco…

No matter. All I want is a rest.

Sigh...good night.

* * *

Urk…

Something is squeezing me…

Something like a snake…it's coiling my body…

I opened my eyes only to find a bee in front of m-

…

…

…

…

…

My eyes shut open as I gasped for air and found a be-

…

…

…

…

…

"_Gasp!"_

I took several breathers as I awoke from my nightmare…

"_Phew_ good thing those bees were all a dream…why can't I move my body?"

I lowered my gaze…

"Why the hell am I tied up!?"

Ah shit, it's here again is it?

"Mr. Pervert, you're finally awake."

I turned to the voice and found two crimson eyes staring at me.

"…Why are you here?"

"What else but to put a stop to your mischief?"

"Heh, a kid like you can do noth- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!"

It's the bee! It's the BEE!

"You really hate bees huh."

"Get it out! Get it out!"

"Geez, calm down. See? It's still in a jar. I can't believe you fainted twice just because of this."

"GET IT OUT KIDDO!"

"Kid that kid this! If you say kid anymore, I will open this jar!"

"Ok I got it lady. JUST GET IT OUT!"

She finally placed the bee in her red bag.

I released a breath as my mortal enemy's friend was finally put away with.

With a sigh, she said, "Now, I suppose you know your place."

Damn…she got me. It's a checkmate.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing much. All I want is for you to stop stealing my panties. Don't mention about stealing my panties. Never think about stealing my panties. Also, I want your lunch."

"You know I can easily break them right?"

"You should know that I can release this bee in your room any time."

"I will lock the door."

"I will break the window glass."

"Deal."

No need to think anymore. I will find another way to punish her if need be.

A smile found its way on her lips.

"That was easier than I thought."

"Now get out."

"Don't be so cold. We've been through thick and thin remember?"

"You mean on and off…HEY STOP!"

"Remember…your life is in my hands," she said with ominous voice, her sharp eyes piercing me.

I nodded and zipped my mouth.

She sighed and started looking around the room.

"There's no porn mags around."

"I-I didn't-"

"No need to make excuses Eromin."

"E-Ero!?"

"Hey! Why are you taking out the bee!?"

"But you called me with such vile name!"

"It's cute to me tho."

"Wha-!"

"HEY! Don't take out the bomb!"

I threw myself and stopped her from blowing my house.

Alas, I was ties up. All I could do was lay atop her.

She struggled but couldn't do anything before my weight.

"Why do you always do this!? Get off!"

"Not before you put back your bomb!"

"If you don't stop calling me E-Eromin, I will blow this up here and then!"

"Ok, I got it Chihuamin!"

"Chihua!?"

"AHH! I'm sorry! Please stop! Lady Megumin please STAHP!"

"TOO LATE!"

Shit! There's only one way to stop this nut job!

I donned a solemn look and lowered my voice as deep as possible.

"Megumin…you have to stop…"

"NEVER!"

"The fate of the world hangs in the balance…"

"!"

Her struggle subsided and she waited in silence.

"There's a legendary artifact hidden deep in the mountains…if my house falls, the secret society, an evil organization, will snatch it."

"_Gasp!_ No…"

"Indeed, if the artifact falls in their hands, the world will be in peril."

I could hear her gulping.

"Megumin…someone has to claim the artifact for the sake of the world."

"W-Who?" said Megumin with expectation in her voice.

"You, the wielder of explosions…only you can do it."

There was no reply but a laughter.

"Huhuhu…Hahahaha…HWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Uwa!"

Megumin rose with strength, previously unfound in her small body.

She then struck a pose and proudly opened her mouth.

"My name is Megumin! The greatest wielder of explosions! Secret society or not, none can stand in my path! I have been waiting for a day like this when my power can truly shine! I shall destroy this heretical artifact and let my name stretch far and wide!"

"Wait no explosion."

"Yes explosion!"

Welp, there is no such artifact so I guess it's ok.

"Megumin I must warn."

"What is it?"

"When the sun falls, their power multiplies. They will be capable of consuming even your explosion."

"Nay-"

"I lost my dear sister due to my arrogance…I just wish it wouldn't happen to you."

With a dejected face, often donned in my NEET life, I gazed into her crimson eyes.

"Oh…"

Don't give me that pitying look. Your delusion is worse than mine.

With a sigh, I relaxed my face.

"Just make sure to return before it's dark."

"Sigh…alright."

She then walked toward the doorstep and stopped as she looked back.

"By the way…"

"What?"

"I didn't look for your porn. I was just curious of the boy's room I first visited."

"I-I see…"

I immediately averted my gaze even as I felt my cheeks beginning to burn…wait.

"Megumin!"

There was no reply.

"Mom!"

There was no reply as well.

"Kazuto!"

Yup, no reply.

"Shit!"

Why is nobody here when a sick man is tied up!?

I squirmed in my discomfort until I lost the strength like a deflating tube.

I began moving like a worm and somehow reached the top of my bed.

Welp, what can I do?

Maybe one of them will untie me when they return.

For now, good night.

* * *

Hmm…

I feel my idiot sensor tingling-

"Nature's Beauty!"

"Arrrgh!"

What the hell!? Water!?

After a torrent of water passed by, completely drenching me in the process, I found Aqua standing beside me with a jolly face, while receiving the light of the setting sun.

"What the hell was that for!? I'm a sick man! What are you drenching me for!?"

"Yeah. Yeah. So loud for a sick man. Don't worry. my Nature's Beauty is good for health."

Huh? She is right. More than feeling cold, I feel better…

"Never mind that. There is a far more important matter to discuss."

"Wait, before that, you should untie me first."

"No way. You won't listen if I untie you. Just like yesterday."

Damn! I shouldn't have been too cold.

"Anyway, I've got a brilliant idea!"

She smiled as she raised her arm in the air.

"What is it?"

"You know I've been treated coldly."

"Yeah so what?"

"With my idea, we can fix that!"

"We?"

She didn't return a word but formed a smile, a kind yet ominous smile…

She brought out a paper and pointed at blank spaces.

"If you just sign here, then oh my! You get to be the vice-representative of the soon-to-be-famous club! Not only that, you're also entitled to my attention for one whole month!"

"Yeah I don't need it. Besides, you're giving me your attention because you have no one else to give it to."

"AHH! You spoke it! You spoke it! You're not supposed to say that! Hey! Don't go back to sleep!"

Aqua broke into tears and collapsed by my side, clinging to my tied body.

"Please, please, please! You're the only one I can rely on! Everyone ignored me when I asked! Don't treat me so cold like the rest of them!"

"Go ask Eris! You two are close right!?"

At my shout, Aqua calmed down as she went silent.

"I don't wanna…," she said softly.

I could barely hear her.

"What?"

"I said I don't wanna!"

"Then kiss your club goodbye!"

Seriously, is she even trying!?

"But!"

"But what!?"

"But she is so popular! Have you seen the crowd of people around her? How can I talk to her without a crowd of people of my own!? That's just too shameful!"

Wow…just how much of a bitch do you have to be to think like that?

Never mind. Let's just ignore this bitch.

"AHH! You have to listen to me! At this rate, my school life will go south! I need this club to elevate my status!"

"More like lower your status…," I mumbled silently.

"What? What did you say?"

I shrugged off her inquiry.

"Hey~ listen to me~"

Aqua kept clinging to me and shaking me to get my attention.

Argh! Always with this shit! Why can't I just take a rest!?

"Alright. I accept."

"Really!?"

"Yeah but on one condition. You have to do something for me."

At my word, Aqua flung back as she covered her chest in her arms.

"You're going to demand something horrible aren't y-"

"Nah, never. It's something else."

Aqua seemed baffled as she wrinkled her brows.

"Just what's wrong with your taste? A woman like me might offer herself to you and you're just casting me to the side…"

"Welp, sorry. I abhor beastiality."

"WHAT!?"

Aqua rushed into me and she shook me violently with tears and anger decorating her face.

"Scum! You Scumzuma! Stop making fun of me!"

"At least, I'm not treating you like a braindead plant!"

A pause then she cried, "WAAAAAAAAAA!"

I felt regret at my casual remark as I was tied up. I couldn't do anything but submit my body to her violent whims.

"A%$##H!%& #!"

Aqua was hysterical as she shook her head like a mad woman while speaking a tongue devoid of intelligence.

"Calm down! I will join your club ok!?" I lied.

"H$&!HJ#$#!"

Shit! She's broken!

Ah, fuck this. There's nothing better than a good smack to the head for a crazy woman like her.

Taking advantage of her shaking me, I rode the rhythm and threw my head to hers.

""Kek!""

We both fell apart to the floor.

Owwww! It was a bad idea. My headache is coming back…wait is it due to my headbutting her or her antics?

"Oww…what's going on?"

Aqua rose up.

"Huh? Why are we on the floor?" asked Aqua, puzzled.

"You two definitely share the same set of genes."

"With who?"

"Never mind…"

"Ah!"

Aqua seemed to have realized something.

"You haven't told me what I should do to get you into the club!"

What a fine cropping.

"Just go to the mountain. Find me this legendary artifact of a mushroom against the odds of facing the beastly society."

Hmm I think I mixed things up but who cares.

Her face fell as she grumbled.

"What a pain…I bet you're just making things up."

What a shocker. She is the one who saw it through.

"Nah I heard the mushroom is great for repelling the cockroach so it would be in your best interest as we-"

"Why didn't you say so earlier!?"

Just like that, she stormed out of the room.

Sigh…there goes the last one.

At least, now I get to enjoy a rest.

Welp, Good night.

* * *

I ran through the woods, chasing a small figure in front of me. Her red head, with a thin shade of orange, fluttered in the air.

Sweat soaked my body and my lungs furiously demanded for air but I still forced myself to not be left behind.

Thankfully, the green roof blocked much of the sun. However, the heat was still infuriating. The only saving grace was the cool, fresh air.

A wind passed by, carrying with it the fragrance of the flowers. It poked my nose, jovially playing pranks in my nostrils. It would've been great if I could play along but all I cared was to heaved for breaths.

The leaves rustled, adding to the cacophony of the birds. The cicadas also screamed, disrupting the harmonious chords.

"Yami where are you going!?"

She stopped in her track as she turned to face me.

The streak of light that pierced through the roof shone upon her face.

Her green eyes glared at me and her pale face was dyed with red.

Her pinkish lips departed.

"Haud yer wheesht!"

I halted and stared into her eyes without me knowing, ignoring her gibberish.

Though she gathered her brows, they weren't enough to stain her cute face.

"Hoo mony times dae ah hae tae tyll ye!? Ma nam is Yanamee!"

I wiped the sweat off my brows.

"Yami, can you speak in Japanese?"

"Ye wot mate!?"

She shouted with annoyance.

I wonder why she is so angry...

I heard in T.V. that when in doubt, always compliment.

"Yami you're cute!"

"Och!"

She rubbed her head angrily.

"Sheesh!"

She turned and began running again.

"Wait for me Yami!"

She sprinted with even greater speed and she was soon out of sight.

* * *

Umm…

I opened my eyes, feeling well recovered.

I had a dream about my long lost fiancé, whom I've wished to have been sent to another world, preferably the one of Re:Infinite.

I wonder where she is…I hope she is repeating her lives over and over just to get her shit right.

I glanced at the window and saw that the sun was almost set.

Hmm...they should return soon or it might really get dangerous.

I then heard someone stepping the stairs.

I widened my eyes as I saw Eris standing by the doorstep.

"H-Hello," she greeted.

She entered with slow steps, seemingly wary of my presence.

"Why are you here?"

At my question, she brought out a paper.

"Another club?"

"Club? No. It's a list of homeworks and reminders."

Oh…

"Aqua was supposed to give it to you but she left as soon as she finished her service."

"I see…"

Eris placed the paper on my desk and quickly went for the door.

"Wait," I called out.

She paused.

"Can you untie me first?"

"You don't have to do it Eris," replied my mom who came to stand by the door. "If you untie him, he might just hurt you again."

"I won't do such thing…"

"Oh really?"

She didn't seem to trust me.

Eris just stood there, between me and my mom, with an awkward smile.

"Kazuma, this is a good chance. Apologize to her for what you did last time."

"I did that for a good reason!"

"For saving you? Ha! I may have made mistakes in raising you but I never thought I raised you to be such an ungrateful bastard!"

She is saying this after laughing her ass off?

"Anyway! Apologize to her like a man and be done with it!" she then softened her tone, "Now, Eris, please wait for my son to muster his courage. He is a wimp so it might take some time but please be patient with him."

"Ok!"

Eris accepted her unreasonable request with enthusiasm…

"I will just go buy groceries with Kazuto so make sure to apologize to her before we return."

Then she left.

The door closed and Eris seated on the floor.

She stared at me with expectation.

"Hey Eris."

My voice startled her but she collected herself immediately and leaned toward me.

"What is it?"

I turned to her and looked into her blue eyes.

"I love you."

"!"

She flared up as she averted her gaze.

"A-A-As a f-f-friend right?"

Huh…it's the same...

"No, I love you with all my heart. Please marry me."

"!"

Her eyes spun as her body began to wobble.

"E-Eh? U-Umm…ha!"

She spoke incoherently then she fell.

Déjà vu? Yeah it is but I can't believe it went exactly the same…

Eris laid there like a dead wood and I stared at it…for scientific purpose of course.

Hmm…I can't figure out her curves from the school uniform she's wearing…what a loss to science!

But I can confirm her usage of pads as one of them was dislocated, now protruding upward from her stomach.

My scientific observation continued, proceeding to her thighs.

Absolute zone was it? That soft-fetish on the flesh set ajar between her skirt and long socks? Where the flesh is softly squeezed? The one favored by weebs?

Well, there was no such thing on her legs. To be more exact, it wasn't where it's supposed to be. Her socks girded just below her knees and her skirt ended just above them.

Only her knees were shown, truly, a bendable zone.

It would be a sight disappointing to the so called men of culture but to me, an intellectual, it is an interesting picture.

Despite her desire to boost her sex appeal, which is demonstrated in her usage of pads, she still holds onto her innocence, unwilling to show much of her skin.

It is indeed quite intriguing.

Silence strolled the room as I wasted my time on useless monologues.

"Owww…huh?"

Eris woke up and she seemed to be in great confusion as she looked around my room.

"W-Where am I!? _Gasp!_ Kazuma…w-what did you do to me this time!?"

And the scientific experimentation is now deemed successful. The subject successfully replicated the event, framing me again with her crap.

"Enough with your bullshit Penis!"

"P-P-P-Pe-Pen-Pe-Pe-"

"P-P-P- can't you even say a word properly? You stutterthot!"

"S-Stutterthot!?"

Her face ignited in shame and vexation. Then she found her dislocated pad as she hurriedly adjusted them with her face flushing to a higher degree.

"Always with your thottery! Always blaming me for everything that happens to you!"

"What!? I was leaving the school and now I'm here all of a sudden! Why would I be in your room if it wasn't for you!? Y-You beast!"

"Beast?! Me? A beast?! Then you're a suicidal reptilian swallowing your own tail! You're the one who let me in your house! You're the one who came to my room!"

Eris shook her head in disapproval.

"Lies! Lies! I have no memories of such!"

"That's because you are such a soy latte who can't deal with important decisions!"

"What do you mean!?"

"It means you are having an amnesia!"

"That's too convenient of an excuse!"

"Rich! Fucking rich!"

It seems she doesn't understand the state I'm in so I reminded her.

"Are you blind!? I'm all tied up! How am I supposed to do anything to you? I can't do shit!"

"Huh? You're right…"

As the information finally registered in her head, she finally relaxed.

But then, the ends of her lips stretched to the sides and went up.

A bright smile painted her face.

She rose up and began walking to me.

"Hey…umm can you not approach me? Somehow, I feel the shivers…"

"Why? I just want to return the favor. After all, I've been harassed quite a bit."

Her voice was soft and comforting yet it hinted an ominous future.

Not you too!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the hell is wrong with today?! Lalatina, Megumin, Aqua, and now you! All I want is to take a fucking rest!"

I couldn't help but go haywire with all the bullshits I've been through and the one I'm about to encounter.

I just squirmed in my attempt to keep her away.

"I want to take a rest! Rest! Rest! RES-"

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Not my foot! NO!

"Double tickle! Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

"NOOOOOOHAHAHAHAOOOOOOOOAHAHAHA!"

Don't do them both! What are you a sadist!?

Her feathers grazed the base of my feet, invoking mad laughter out of my mouth.

Her voice was imbued with lunacy, surely, an expression of her pent up grudge.

It coalesced with my laughter, filling the room with insanity.

Tears and drools streamed down as my muscles tensed in the excruciating torture.

Alas, my body was tied up. The stiffening muscles did nothing but squeeze myself even further.

"STAHP! STAHAHAHAP!"

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

None of my attempts seem to work so I used the scientifically proven method.

"ERIHAHA! I LOHAVE YOHA!"

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

"PLEASEHAHAHA MAHARRY HAHAHAME HAERIS!"

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

No words came out coherently and none seem to enter her ears.

"MOHATHERHA! KHAZUHATO! HAFATHATHER!"

As my last effort, I called out for my family but none answered my call.

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

Her psychopathic torture continued on, even after the sky went dark.

She didn't rest from getting her revenge.

*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

Suddenly, a siren rang, probably an ambulance or something.

Thankfully, Eris paused her torture, allowing me to heave for breaths.

Now is my chance!

"Eris! I lovHAHAHAHAHA!"

And it failed.

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

Oh God, please show me mercy!

*BAM*

Suddenly, the door shut open and someone scurried in.

It was Aqua.

She had dirt and black marks all over her. I understand the dirt but what are those black marks staining her face and other places?

"Aqua?! T-This is not what it seems-"

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

Aqua was desperate, desperate enough to ignore Eris who was torturing me.

"I'm not Kazuma," I replied sharply.

I turned around, unwilling to deal with whatever bullshit she brought this time.

She clung to my back as she began crying.

"What do I do!? What do I do!?"

I didn't answer and kept my mouth shut.

It would've been perfect if I can cover my ears too.

"There were explosions and fire everywhere! It's all because of those mushrooms! No, in the first place, that cheeky bastard just had to throw the bomb to the air!"

"She wot mate!?"

I turned back and was about to press for more information but the missing two came flying in.

"HWAHAHAHA! There is no greater artifact than my explosives! Those spineless shadow bastards didn't even have the balls to face me! Kazuma, you have to listen to my heroic deeds!"

Megumin was mad with her delusions.

Her eyes peered into the air as she preached her deeds.

"Kazuma…I've brought the mushroom you asked for…"

Lalatina, on the other hand, was red.

Boiled in lust.

Her eyes were dangerously fixated on me as her mouth was slightly opened, where drools flowed.

The furry ears were no longer there but the choker still remained.

She held a mushroom at her hand, which seemed to say, "Bite me and you're off your head."

The two, who seemed out of their heads, marred with dirt and presumably smokes, slowly encroached upon me.

Before the two pairs of feral eyes, I couldn't help but feel the shivers rock my spine.

"Don't come near! Please don- hey! Don't abandon me!"

Aqua fled to the side, whose eyes were filled with fear.

"Good luck Kazuma," she said with a trembling voice.

"You spineless piece of shit! I saved you from the cockroaches and this is-"

I was cut off as Megumin grabbed my shoulders and raised me.

Her face was right in front of me. Her eyes were excited, too excited, and her mouth donned a huge smirk.

"Kazuma, I've found the artifact you spoke of!"

"What?"

"It was housed in this hideous temple so I blew the whole thing altogether into smithereens!"

"Huh?!"

Never mind this supposed temple but she really blew a bomb in the woods!?

"She is lying! There was no such temple! She just threw the bomb with no care of the world!" cried out Aqua.

"Are you saying I'm lying?!"

"Yes you are, you little brat!"

"What did you say?!"

Megumin pounced on Aqua and they fought so wildly, unbecoming for women.

"What you destroyed was not a temple! You destroyed a rock for no reason! Kek!"

"LIES! Urk!"

"Kek! You two just had to eat the hideous mushrooms unearthed by the explosion! Then you threw all your bombs like the madlass you are!"

"Oh you did not!"

Suddenly, Lalatina lifted me by my shoulder, staring at me so close that we basically shared the same air.

"Kazuma, ah~"

I shut tight my lips as she held the revolting mushroom against my mouth.

She tapped my lips numerous times but to her frustration, there was no sign of them opening up.

At such unwelcoming gestures, her eyes warped in fury.

Her other hand held my mouth open as she shoved the mushroom into my mouth.

"I said ah!"

"Kek!"

She forcibly closed my mouth and before I could even hold out, the mushroom went down my throat…

Time went on and the effects began to show.

"Haha," I giggled.

I felt my body relax as strength escaped.

*THUMP THUMP*

Suddenly, however, my heart began racing, pumping blood throughout my body.

I felt my muscles tighten as I found new strength within them.

I began struggling like a mad man and the already-loosed rope fell out of my feet.

It was like a crack in the dam as it eventually freed me out of my rope.

"Ahhh…it's here. My punishment is here! Please choke my neck mast-" she stopped and squatted as she continued, "I-I mean…woof!"

"Darkness!?" said Eris, who held her mouth until now.

I ignored her excited anticipation as I turned to see what was beyond the window.

There was nothing but black and red. The beautiful starry sky was covered in the dark smokes and the lofty mountain was stripped of its clothes as they were engulfed in fire…

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

* * *

**PAUSE**

* * *

GGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

FUCKING PIECES OF SHITSTAINS!

I glared at Megumin, the mad bitch.

She seemed to be stunned at my howl and was startled when my eyes settled on her.

I held my bag and said coldly.

"Steal."

"N-Nooooooo!"

I didn't even give her an eye as I held her black panties in front of me.

I then placed it over my head and stretched it with both hands.

"What are you doing!?"

"Haha! Go Kazuma!"

"WOOF!"

"Ah- ah- ah-"

I began sliding the panties on my head side to side as it stretched with each motion.

"Noooooo! Stooooooop!"

I saw her wretched face as she held her private in one hand and the other stretched to her ill-fated panties.

I couldn't help but grin at her tears as joy coursed through my veins.

"Ha…HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

Megumin brought out a jar.

"You broke it first!"

She opened the jar and set the bee free and I simply sprayed at it.

It fell to the floor and didn't move.

"Heh?"

Megumin gave out a blank noise.

I held the bag once more.

"Steal."

"Wha-!"

In my hand was her black bra…

I stared long into it until it cracked.

"Pftt!"

_"Hic! _Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"HAAAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Megumin cried, humming music to my ears as my mouth bellowed a pleased laughter.

"WOOF! WOOF!"

I turned to the bitch.

"Heh heh heh!"

The bitch panted with her tongue sticking out.

Horny? What is that word? I feel nothing but disgust.

I took out my phone.

*CLICK*

"Master!?"

I then gave numerous taps at my phone and the final one landed on the word, 'Upload.'

"Everyone! Look at the toilet I have! Her name is Dustiness Ford Lalatina and she is my bitch!"

I read what was posted on my FacePalm as I showed the contents to the bitch.

Her face immediately fell as tears formed at the corners of her eyes.

"H-How could you…how could you…!"

Tears flowed as her legs gave in.

She began whimpering like a little girl as she hugged herself.

I felt pain in my heart, despite my excitement. I just never expected it to work so well…

So I told her the truth.

"It's on private. Nobody saw it."

"_Gasp!" _a pause then, "_Kyun~!"_

She climaxed…

"W-What a wily craft…you brought me to the pit of despair only to lift me out of it. What a genius- STOP!"

My finger descended, only for her to stop it.

*RIIIING*

I turned to the sudden ring.

I found the lying bitch belatedly silencing her phone.

I threw my phone away as I held the bag once more.

"Steal."

"Kya!"

It was her white panties so I threw it away.

"Steal."

There it is.

I threw her phone out the window, partially breaking the glass in the process.

I scurried toward her who was about to cry.

Fear was written in her eyes as she couldn't do anything but tremble.

I held her collar with both hands and pulled them to the sides.

Her white long sleeves tore open in the center, breaking away her buttons.

Her snow white skin was now almost bare as her white bra was the last remaining piece that kept her clothed.

"KYAAAAAAAAA!"

Her scream spread in the room but it wasn't the end.

"Enough with your bullshit!"

I tugged down her bra as her pads flew out in the open.

Suddenly, the light of shame shone forth, streaking in front of her flat chest, effectively covering them as usual.

Hello Mr. Gentleman.

Scream didn't bellow out of her mouth. Instead, light flickered out of her eyes as tears began to flow.

She fell on her knees as she covered her chest in her arm.

The light, having lost its purpose, vanished.

"I'm ravaged. I can't get married anymore. I'm ravaged. I can't get married anymore. I'm ravaged…," she mumbled repeatedly.

Another sound was added in the room, which was already filled with Megumin's wail.

"How dare you touch Eris!"

Shouted the bitch as she held my collar.

*SLAP*

"Lara do hundred sit ups."

The bitch was stunned as she held her red cheek.

She slowly opened her mouth, "Will you slap me again if I do so, master?"

"…Maybe."

"_Hya!_ Not an outright acceptance nor rejection but a vague answer to keep me wondering in agony whether I will receive it or not…_hah~_"

She began doing sit ups as I told.

"One…two…three..."

Her plump boobs were pulled down, pressed onto her chest, and it bounced when she rose up.

Quite a treat but my boy denied it.

It's simply not the time.

I turned to the last bitch…and she was nowhere to be found.

I looked out the window and sure enough, she was running away.

I took a several steps back and began running toward the window with my arms guarding my head.

"Master? What are you-"

*SMASH*

The glass completely shattered as I threw myself out the window.

I did a spin in the air and landed on foot.

I grinned as I found a phone in front of me.

I picked it up and stretched my arm to the back, a scene akin to pulling the string of a bow.

The string was let loose as the phone soared through the air.

Bullseye.

I went to the fallen bitch, who held her head on the floor.

I held her leg and began dragging her back to the room.

"NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She began screaming like a pig on death throes.

She struggled in vain before my iron grip as I closed the door.

"_Hic! _Uuuu _Hic!_ Uuuuuu."

"I'm ravaged. I can't get married anymore. I'm ravaged. I can't get married anymore…"

"Thirty five…thirty six…master! You're back. I've been doing as you've told after I confirmed you were safe!"

I ignored her as I dragged the pig to the center.

"_Hah!"_

I also ignored her usual panting as I placed the pig's stomach on my lap.

"K-Kazuma…I didn't do anything. I even blessed you with my Nature's Beauty!"

I pulled down her blue striped panties.

"KYAAAAAA!"

I looked to the window and quite oddly, there was no light.

Oh I get it. There is no shame in looking at a pig's rear.

I held down the struggling bitch as I raised my hand to the air.

"ScummyNEET! What the hell are you do-"

*SPANK*

"HEEEK!"

The strike battered at my heart.

*SPANK*

"HEEEK!"

Her cries did nothing but afflict a crack at it.

"SPANK*

"HEEEK!"

The crack began to spread.

"_Hic! _WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Her wail was the tipping point as my heart burst out with joy, followed by my laughter.

"HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

*SPANK*

"HEEEK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"I'm ravaged. I can't get married anymore…"

"Seventy eight! Seventy nine! Master! Me too! Spank me too! …Eighty!"

The room was a pandemonium of bitches and a pig.

I would usually crack my head over such a scene but now, there was a grin reaching my ears and joy pumping through my veins.

Ah…I'm healing. I feel peace in my heart.

Nevertheless, the night is long. I still have grudges to relea-

*BONK*

A metal struck my head as I fell on the floor.

As I landed, I found two pairs of cold eyes staring at me.

My mother held her frying pan and my brother held his phone.

I tried to open my mouth to speak an excuse but my eyes gave in so did my consciousness.

* * *

I was later brought to jail but was released when they found the chemicals within my veins.

Lalatina and Megumin were then brought to the police right after my forged confession.

However, some men in black entered the scene. After which, they were set free.

They went out as they stared daggers at me.

I remember those eyes…they were the same eyes my family made…

I stared at the nude mountain beyond the empty window, wondering if I was in the mistake.

I shivered as I held my arms together.

The wind is quite cold…

* * *

**Author's Note****:** This chapter is quite crazy even to me...welp, it's a Konosuba so it's ok. Anyway, if you didn't know, Yami's accent is heavy scottish so she's quite hard to understand. I spent too much time researching this accent just to try to get her right...if there are any scottish readers, please tell me if I have to fix her speech.

I skipped the prison scene altogether because I thought it would drag out the already-slow story. If you guys want, I will write a chapter about it.

Lastly, I changed the title and the description. 'Shameless' wasn't the word but it's close. 'Painful' is the better one. The description...describes the story.

**LightDusk16:** Thanks for the read and yes Kazuma has to go through sufferings. There are two reasons for this. Him getting the harem needs to be justified and I just hate that he is getting the girls. Also, your comment brought me to change the title. Thanks for that.

**CacciaFulmini:** Hah, glad that brought out a chuckle. I tried to make her a meme-savvy character at first but she somehow fell out of it. I will try to bring new memes for her to express.

**P.S.** I realized just recently that I can reply in the review section rather than having to write it in the chapter...I'll just keep this format. Tell me, if you want otherwise.


	10. Chapter 9 Time for Apology! (1)

**Disclaimer****: I don't own any characters or settings.  
**

* * *

Staring into the distance, I found a nude mountain.

Nude mountain was it?

Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it that. It's more like a balding head…

Just like my ancestors, only the sides, or should I say, the base, remained with the upper portions burnt off.

Burnt off?

It might be an overstatement as the majority of the trees still remained standing. Only that their Autumn was snatched away as they were all stripped of their dresses…or should I say wigs of green and orange?

The mountain will henceforth be called the Chonmage Hippy.

Now, as for the minority, where there are no trees at all…

Such empty places were rather concentrated like permanent bold spots in close proximity.

Must've been Megumin.

There used to be one empty spot in the mountain but now, it's been enlarged and multiplied by her mad rampage.

The mountain that stood so tall throughout my life seemed to have bent its knees.

Sigh…

I turned on heels and began walking.

I can remember the scared shitless Megumin walking in the police station.

She noticed me immediately and gave me this pseudo death glare, which did nothing to me, a thick skinned veteran of laser warfare.

Lara- oops, I shouldn't read her collar. Lalatina came in right after Megumin with the pew pew guns already attached

Heh, their glares were laughable at best.

Even so…maybe, I shouldn't have been too honest with my report.

Welp, they needed some spanking for their misdeeds.

Speaking of spanking…I mean, thinking of spanking…

I should really apologize.

Yeah Aqua sure was a pain in the neck but she didn't do much compared to Megumin, who torched the mountain to the ground, and Lalatina, who forced the shroom down my throat.

She just had to get the worst of them all; not only was her panties stripped, even the Mr. Gentleman forsook her. Not to mention the spanking, yes, the spanking.

Such a shame that my mom was so skilled. She just had to erase my memory of her ass and the sensation of slapping it-

_Ehem!_ I-I mean it's such a shame that it couldn't contribute to the scientific advancement!

Scientific advancement…

'How about Eris?' such question might linger in the dwellers of the 3rd dimension.

You mean the psychopath? The wielder of the weapon of surefire destruction? The landlady of the snow white plain?

I should've spanked her instead…

Well, if I did that, she would've been broken for sure.

Her hallow eyes told me that she was hovering at the edge of the cliff. Pushing her any further would be too cruel.

So should I apologize to her as well? Nah, it's even between us now. At least, it is to me. After all, the misunderstandings in her head never happened.

They were bubbles rightfully popped with the unveiling of her pads.

Such a shame that the Mr. Gentleman never lets up.

*CREAK*

Coincidentally and thankfully, the bus came to a stop as I reached the station.

After sitting myself in one of the abundant empty seats, I peered to the side, where the sun had just risen.

* * *

"Huh…never thought I would see you so soon."

I stared at the Chihuahua in front of me, which glared back with scarlet daggers.

"Yeah, thanks to a certain pervert, I now have to work every morning."

"Uh huh, only if you didn't use your friend like the good friend you are, then you might have had it easier."

A smirk found its way as she questioned.

"Friend? No, we don't do child's play. We are rivals! It's only natural to use your rival."

Huh? Not a friend but a rival…

"Hey, is she…what is her age?"

"She's fourteen. Just a few months older…," she became silent and then her tone fell, deep and cold it sounded, "Hey, what the hell are you implying here?"

"…Oh I don't know. I was thinking whether your village is aiming to normalize pedophilia by tempering with the girls' growth spurt…and I suppose you were fortunate enough to be out of their conspiracy."

I was ready. Ready to receive whatever attacks she throws at me as I took a battle stance but nothing came.

She just stood there baffled.

"What in explosion's name…AJ? Is that you? Are you his secret disciple?"

At her remark, I couldn't help but embody a fictitious wrath.

"They're putting chemicals in the water that turn the little girls big!"

I threw my fist to the air and slammed it down to an invisible table as I shouted.

I then looked at Megumin.

"How was it? Was it close?"

"Heh, you could really do some practice…"

Amidst her abrupt silence, her expression turned somber.

"Actually, there was this popular drink back in my village..."

"Huh?"

"My family wasn't able to afford it not even once but my peers always had them when they were young…"

"Seriously now? Don't get so worked up over a joke."

She didn't seem to hear me as she brooded over the subject.

With a sigh, I went inside, which brought her out of her daze as she flinched.

She then took a battle stance against me.

Seeing how she wasn't willing to move in, I reassured her.

"Don't worry, I won't touch you nor steal your panties."

"Only a fool would believe in your words."

"And only the most damnable would have any interest in your body."

"What did you say?!"

Before her punches could reach me, I stretched my arm, keeping her away.

"You're always like that! Can't you live a day without making fun of me!?"

"And can't you live a day without getting violent? Don't be such a Chihuamin."

"Oh you dared!"

She barked, baring her fangs.

She brought out a bomb, then began chanting despite its unnecessity.

"Darkness blacker than bla- Oh! What have I been doing? I should get to work."

So I held her leash which scared the shit out of her.

She rushed in and began dusting the boxes and a bunch of equipment.

Before the dust built up, I opened the door and the window only to be met with the cold wind.

Megumin held her arms together as she shivered.

"I can't believe the police didn't confiscate your bag. Seriously, the nation's too corrupt. We need a third amendment to allow explosive carry."

"Then go join the religion of peace."

"Heh, I'm too intelligent to strip my rights."

Wait…

"How come you're allowed to carry bombs? Heck, who were those men in black? Why is a criminal like you not in a jail?"

"Criminal? Vulgar as always…tsk tsk," Megumin shook her head then continued, "Can't you be considerate? Call me justice-involved person."

What bullshit is she shitting? Is she Aqua or something?

"Playing bimbo with lingo are we? An arsonist like you deserve all the curse there are in the world."

"Arsonist? Nay, call me fire bender instead."

"Oh? Then call me professional peeler."

I held her leash once more which shook her eyes.

Megumin shivered at the prospect.

"…A-Arsonist was it? W-What an appropriate name indeed..."

"Sigh…so what happened?"

At my question, she focused her eyes onto me.

"I don't know."

I stared back, trying to probe for truth, but she didn't avert her gaze. No, she anchored it to the truth.

"…Then must be Lalatina."

"Not quite. It's not the first time I saw them."

"Huh? You went to police before…? Right, it's only natural for you to have a history with them."

"Would you kindly elaborate your implication?"

I shrugged at her and waited for her to continue.

"…Well, there was this one time I was brought to the police due to an experiment."

"An experiment…," I repeated with a doubt.

"Yes an experiment. Anyhow, those men also came that time. Then they let me go."

"Huh…"

The villagers are very smart and innovative. They have contributed magnificently to the world's recent technological breakthroughs. The VR gear being one among the many.

Must be the government then or some kind of secret organization aiding them at the back.

"Hey Kazuma…"

Her voice brought me out of my thought.

As I turned to her, I found her fidgeting and gazing to the side with a blush taking over.

Her gaze fell down as she continued.

"I'm sorry."

Huh? Sorry? What is that word? I know the definition of course but what is she saying?

"Come again?"

Her shoulders trembled and she brought her head up, facing me with her reddened glare.

"Listen up pervert! Open your damn ears because I won't say this ever again to a pervert like you! I said, I'M SORRY!"

Wow…I still don't get it. How could she ever apologize to the so called Panty Thief?

"Pardon?"

"Oh you son of a bitch!"

"Ow!"

She threw her hand duster at me and followed up with a pounce.

"Are you deaf?! Do I have to sing lalala into your fucking ears!? Fuck this, I'll just do it! LA! LA! LA!"

"Aaargh!"

I pushed her away as I covered my ear.

"Stop it! I get it ok!? I heard you!"

She crossed her arms as she angrily snorted.

"Should have said so earlier!"

"But why?"

"What else but the fire!?"

"Then why are you apologizing to me? I mean, you know what happened."

She turned to the side even as she expressed a frown only for it to be washed away with a sigh.

"I guess you had your own fair share of remorse. After all, not only did you strip me of my underwears but brought that tough woman to tears, revealed Eris' pads, and spanked Aqua…Actually, why don't you go and die ya piece of shit?"

"What's with the sudden change!? Just tell me why you're apologizing!"

She leisurely shrugged at my inquiry then gazed into the distance.

"I just had to say it. Anyone would do but you were the most suitable…I can't go around apologizing to all the people, after all."

So that's it. Welp, I can see where she is coming from.

"I have to clarify, however. The first explosion wasn't in the woods. It was in this open space with nothing but this huge rock…"

Sigh…I saw it from afar but to confirm the destruction of my favorite spot pains me nevertheless. Not that I visited it since 4 years past.

Without a care of my reminiscence, Megumin began squirming, rivalling that of Lalatina…no, perhaps, even worse.

"I-I was overwhelmed with the sudden urge to test my strength, whether I could destroy it or not… so I blew it up. Heh, the rock had no chance before my explosive."

I couldn't help but silently stare at her as I heard how trivial her motive was.

Noticing my stare, she went all flustered.

"A-Aqua was the one who found it! B-But I guess I shouldn't blame her for it…no…I should blame Darkness instead! She is the one who forced the mushroom in me!"

I looked away, wondering how the people around me seem to be missing screws in their heads.

I then let out a sigh.

"Hey, I uh…am sorry as well. Maybe I shouldn't have torn your panties…"

"…I can't believe you're apologizing for tearing my panties instead of stealing it."

We then went silent, unable to handle the awkward air between us...

"By the way, you should buy me a panty."

"Huh?"

"What's with that look? You tore one of my only two panties. It's only natural for me to ask for a compensation."

I thought for a while and replied.

"I have to decline."

"Wha-! I just want you to buy me a panty!"

"And don't you see the problem? A semi-adult and a kid in an underwear shop, again, don't you see anything wrong!?"

"I see what's wrong. What's wrong are your fucking eyes!"

The Chihuamin rushed in, barking and biting.

I just kept her at arm's length as she swung her frail arms, never to reach me.

"Let me get this straight. So you want to go on a date with me."

Her pestering came to a halt as she shouted with bewilderment.

"What kind of thought process is that!?"

"The normal kind! Yours is the one that's malfunctioning!"

"Why you!"

She resumed her pestering.

"Who said I needed your company!? Just give me your damn cash!"

"Hey! Do you know how much of a bitch you sound like right now!?"

"Shit given not!"

Realizing how her arms couldn't reach me, she swung her short legs only to fall on her butt.

Then she went motionless.

Soon, she began writhing on the floor as she covered her face in shame.

"Pfftt! Not even a Chihuahua would land on its own butt."

"Go away! All you do is making fun of me…"

I didn't comply as I found it quite funny to see her like this.

How long did I laugh by her side? She seemed fed up as her hands went apart, glaring at me with glints at the corners.

"Did you have your fun?! Are you entertained?!"

"Yes, very much. I appreciate your amusing performance."

At my reply, her expression went blank.

"Ha...Darkness blacker than black..."

I held the leash but to my surprise, she went on.

"…darker than dark. I beseech thee-"

"Steal."

Yup, always works.

Megumin halted her chant as she held onto her skirt even though there was nothing missing underneath.

Ah, I've trained her well.

Seemingly tamed and docile, knowing that she wouldn't throw a bite, I held my hand for her.

"Panty was it? Alright. I'll go with you. Let me have a peek at the panty I will steal."

She slapped my hand away as she stood up on her own, all while holding onto her skirt.

"You have to buy me two! No, three!"

"Sure, I will even buy you four. I just love variety."

"My panties aren't for stealing!"

"Then don't go crazy for once. Have I ever stolen your panties without a good reason?"

She went silent and without a word or gesture, agreed.

"Let's get back to work."

Thus, we resumed our work as the cold wind came and never to leave.

* * *

The chalk scraping the board annoys my ears.

My incapability to understand a single thing frustrates me.

Worst of all, I find the absence of a certain woman concerning.

Even as guilt began creeping out, I dumped my head into my arms.

Is she ok?

She's always late for service but she was never late for school.

She's so easy to cry…what if she's still sobbing in her room?

Did I scar an innocent…semi-innocent person?

But I-

Then a flutter.

A scarlet hair waved by my side.

I couldn't help but widen my eyes.

Yami?

I jumped my head and turned to the woman who stopped at the chair right beside me.

She lifted the chair, so as to avoid the noise, rather than to drag it, which would surely annoy our ears.

She then sat.

Sat…yes, that's all she did but I was struck with awe.

It was like a swan leisurely drifting across the lake.

A scene of calmness and inspiration but no such thing can exist without the underlying hardships and efforts that are subtly hinted…yes, just like the swan.

So I realized: she can't possibly be Yami.

Yami was never this good!

Then who is she? Who is capable of such feat?

It is Aqua…

Aqua?!

She gave a glance.

"Hmph!"

She then sharply turned her head to the side.

But to her dismay, she now had to face the glaring Wiz.

"Why are you late?"

Her ghastly words slowly flowed out of her mouth.

I dumped my head back, unwilling to involve myself.

"Hello Ms. Wiz. I apologize for my tardiness. You see, I had to attend a matter this morning."

Huh?

"Huh?"

A blank noise leaked out of Wiz's mouth.

Brief silence overwhelmed the room and the students began murmuring to themselves.

"D-Did I hear that right? How come she sounds so elegant?"

"Is she even Aqua? What happened to her blue hair?"

"Heretical fake! Where the hell is our Lady Aqua!?"

Their chatters awoke Wiz out of her daze as her eyes went sharp.

"Silence."

And there was silence.

"Per your tardiness, I will have to punish you."

"Of course, I understand."

"…Clean the room after dismissal."

"Sure."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing as I found my hands trembling ever so subtly.

"Hey dipshit, what happened to your wife?" whispered Dust.

"Hey asshole, I will throw a dropkick if you say she's my wife again."

"Whateves. So what happened?"

'I spanked her' is not something I can tell.

I did it in my uncontrollable-drugged-induced state but even I find it insufficient of an excuse.

Trying to find ways to escape the topic, I glanced to the side, only to find Aqua peeking back at me.

"Hmph!"

At the sudden turn, her hair almost fell out, revealing the blue hair underneath.

She then casually adjusted her wig.

"Lover's quarrel? Go explode you pieces of shits."

"And who are the lovers?!"

There was no reply.

How rude. Me and Aqua? Lovers?

Not before I shit through my mouth!

"Open your books on page…"

Book. Let's get my book…where is it?

Huh, seems like I've forgotten it.

What should I do? I have no neighbor but Aqua…

Welp, gotta try at least.

"Aqua, can we share your boo-"

"Hello there."

"Hello…?"

Aqua ignored me as she turned to the classmate beside her.

"It seems your book is missing. Would you want to share my book?"

"Huh? But I hav-"

"Surely, you are missing your book?"

"No, I'm not missing any-"

"Surely, you are missing your book."

He had no choice but to capitulate before her courteous demand.

"Kazuma, where is your book?"

"I…forgot to bring mine."

Wiz sighed at my response and turned to my neighbor.

"Aqua share your book with Kazuma."

"Ms. Wiz, I'm afraid I'm already sharing it with my seatmate."

Immediately, her eyes went sharp as she glared at the student.

The student yelped in response as he began trembling before her laser strike.

"You didn't bring yours as well?"

"I-I have it! Here! See!?"

He hurriedly brought out a book out of his bag.

Aqua immediately made an excuse.

"Oh my…you should have told me earlier."

"I tried! You were the one who stopped me!"

He was bold before Aqua. Something he wasn't able to do before meeting her death glare.

This is what I'm talking about. This is what true death gla-**RESET**\- lovely glance looks like.

Wait, what was tha-

"Aqua, share now your book."

She didn't reply for a brief moment until…

"…Ok."

This is going to be awkward.

I brought my desk to hers and waited for her to show me her book.

She pushed the book under her arm, whose palm supported her chin.

Of course, she was doing this all while looking away.

Seeing how the book stopped moving afar from my view, I tried to pull it closer, which she held it from happening.

So I brought myself closer to he-

"Don't touch me!"

She angrily pulled herself away from me then turned her head.

"Hmph!"

I felt my head go numb.

It wasn't the kind I was expecting to receive from her. I don't have a migraine, no, instead, I felt an ache in my heart.

"Is something wrong over there?"

Erasing the glare, immediately swapping it with a smile, eloquently, she spoke.

"Oh nothing much. Please do continue with your lecture."

She glanced back.

"Hmph!"

As I saw her head turn for the fourth time, one thing was made clear to me.

She is angry.

* * *

The blue stretched to all corners, pure in its color, with no stains but a few whites.

It was a beautiful sky. Beautiful enough to captivate my eyes. The clouds, however, were but a torn in my view.

What are those clouds doing over there? Why can't they go away!?

One cloud, two clouds, three clouds, the fourth cloud…just go away!

Oh, the first cloud is gon-

"Ow..."

Something hit my head. Nothing of damage was done as it was just a ball of paper.

"What was that for?"

"Your audacity to ignore me compelled me to awake you from your perverse daydream."

"Heh, at least, I keep my daydream to myself. Rather than writing it down like…"

I had to stop there as I found her gripping her pen.

"Like what? A certain someone? I wonder who it could be…"

"I wonder indeed…"

After a long stare down, she sheathed her pen.

As the cyclops before me was appeased, I found the leisure to look around.

"Where is Megumin and Yunyun?"

"The usual. After their daily duel, they got into a fight and now, Megumin is chasing Yunyun with your lunch in hand."

"I see, I s- my lunch?! Again?!"

Arue nodded as she took a bite at her sandwich.

Despite the sudden rupture of anger and despite the growling of my stomach, I just let out a sigh.

I didn't want to let another needle stab my head.

"So what did you want to say?"

"…You seem distressed. Why is that?"

A bit of surprise took over me, zipping my mouth for a moment.

"Now that's a shocker. Why would a kid like you worry about me?"

Arue didn't reply but stared at me for a while as if in befuddlement.

Then she talked.

"Worried? About who? You? Worried about you? How can I be worried about a bag of filth? How can I do so when your proclivity to strip women is through the roof? How am I supposed to be worried about the lowest…no, beneath the lowest, the one who strips a child, the pedophile, who deserves the blazing fire of the heaven and the crushing depth of the sea? How about a sadist capable of brining a masochist to tears? When not even the Devil himself can do it, you've proven yourself to be the most malevolent."

Arue rose to her feet and pointed her finger at me.

"You vermin of human society! You pretentious corpse of bygone apes! God never made a mistake but you are an exception! I can't believe you stripped your love…I can't believe you slapped the hell out of your friend! Woe to the unsuspecting humanity for the inclusion of genes of a failure like you!"

She then snatched her patch open and glared at me with a mixture of red and gold.

"Oh Foolish King! Why art thou here? What a twist of fate! Oh God, why send such a fool to us, the humanity, when he belongs to the imanity! Thou fool! Go back to whence thou came! Go back to Elkia and let thy works ruin them instead!"

I couldn't reply; not with my trembling lips.

"Why so silent? Did the cat get your…"

I felt my eyes go sore as they went blurred.

No matter how much I wipe them, it just doesn't cease.

She is right…I'm nothing but a pile of trash!

Not only did I punish an arsonist; give what the masochist wanted; got my revenge on Eris…

…

Wait…they all deserved it.

Megumin definitely deserved it, although I have to admit that the moral of my means is rather questionable.

Lalatina asked for it. Tears? Yeah sure but you skipped the part where she panted like a dog.

Eris? My love? What timeline is she on? How did she even know!?

Aqua…aye, I made a mistake but she just had to be such an ass every time we met! No wonder I spanked her ass!

That's right, I was never to be blamed.

It was all their fault!

With newfound strength, I glared at the panicking bitch.

"Flapping your mouth like someone oh-so-important…how dare you call me pretentious when you are one yourself?"

I smashed her panic to pieces and she glared back.

"Me? Pretentious? You vile ape, care to explain why I'm pretentious? If you can understand human language that is…"

"Oh I understand it alright but you are the one who don't get it. You cross-eyed toe-sucker. Your bloated ego must have swollen enough to cover your eyes. I can't believe how incredibly blind you are. Heck, I bet the blind can write better than you! Even if you're born of Haruki Murakami…God forbid and forbid He did! He's too merciful to expose him to your unredeemable writing! That book…where the hell did you get your inspiration from? Oh I know because it's a bad fanfiction of the 'Eye of Argon'! Jim Theis…he is your perfect match you piece of shit!"

Arue couldn't return a word as she just stood there trembling, veins popping up all over her pale, now red, skin.

"Hmm? What is that smell? Oh it's the stink of your hands, oozing out of your putrescent mass! You defiler of Earth! You harbinger of misfortune! I pity for those trees wasted in the making of your book! Even now, I can hear the scream of your pen, spilling its precious ink to bring your book back to life! What a tragedy! If Shakespeare was still alive, he would be ashamed of his works! Shame…shame be to all humanity! We weren't able to stop such a filth from staining our literature!"

There we stood, heaving for breaths. I for the short of it and her, surely, for the short of her mental capacity to process the amount of anger surging through her veins.

And there was silence, a foreboding silence. The place seemed to darken…wait, where did all those dark clouds came from?

We both unsheathed our weapons. She gripped her pen and I held my bag.

I stared into her eyes and saw the absence of reason, the absence of what makes us human.

Then, it popped.

With the drop of the rain, we began rushing unto each other.

With full disregard of the advantage of distance, I ran, running for a reason I do not fully comprehend but am compelled to abide by.

"Haaaaaaaaaaah!"

"HAAAAAAAAAH!"

With the obligatory anime war cry, we clashed into each other as the lighting came crushing down!

…Or so we thought.

"Urk!"

"Kek!"

The battle spirit found in our eyes disappeared and fear filled them instead.

"What are you two doing here?"

We both slowly turned to the source of the ghastly voice, to the side where the two arms holding onto our necks led to.

There stood Wiz, the Ice Queen.

Quite befitting of her title, she donned her usual freezing glare…actually, it's quite different.

Normally, I would find rays of light shooting out of her eyes but I don't see any of them. Rather, I found empty darkness, its depth as deep as Mariana Trench.

I hope and pray, in my vain hope; in my vain attempt to escape from reality that it's only my imagination that she is staring at me...

"W-We were just having a lunch. Right Arue?"

'Me and you? Having a lunch? Ludicrous!' her eyes told me.

'It's true anyway! Just do as I relay to you in a way I don't understand…just do as I say! Do you want to die!?'

She closed her eyes and soon, they opened, revealing her eyes with a semblance of reason.

"He's right. We were just having a lunch."

"See? We were just having a lu- kek!"

Why!? Why did her grip strengthen!? Why is she still staring at me!?

"You two, it's a warning. Don't be so loud on the roof."

Her cold voice, which is hard to hear in the rain, sounded quite clearly in my ears.

Fear of more potential retribution, I nodded in quick succession.

"Arue, go dry yourself."

Then went Arue into the door.

Of course, she didn't forget to give me a spiteful glare, saying, 'This is not the end…'

"Ms Wiz? I think we should go inside too. I mean, we are getting wet."

Wiz didn't reply but held me with both of her hands...to choke my neck.

"Kek!"

"What were you two doing here?"

"I told you, we ate lunch! Why are you choking m- kek!"

Did I do something wrong!? Why am I being choked!? Why am I alwa-

*GRRRRRR*

A pause. Then, bits of light sparkled in her eyes.

"…I thought you ate with Arue?"

Her grip loosened a bit.

"_Gasp!_ My…my lunch was stolen so…"

"But, you were still with her…"

"Kek!"

What a ma-**RESET**\- sane woman!

The fuck?

"A boy and a girl on the roof…again, what were you two doing?"

"Eating lunch! And we weren't alone! There were Megumin and Yun- kek!"

"Oh? A pedophile in the making?"

What? What did she just call me? What the hell did she just call me?!

"Pedophile? PEDOPHILE?! ME?! TO THEM?! You moro-**RESET**\- are smart! You possessor of the river of endless menstru-**RESET**\- calm! A luna-**RESET**\- sage! A tyra-**RESET**\- saint in the making! GOD I LOVE YOU!"

Her eyes opened wide, stunned at my sudden shout.

Her grip loosened and her dumb hair stayed still.

"T-Thanks? Wait, did you just admitted being a pedophile?"

"H-Huh? _Phew_ Ms. Wiz, you worry too much. My ideal type is a mature woman with huge boobs. Sure, Arue and Yunyun have them but they are too immature for me. I want an older woman with sexy body and mature personality."

"I…I see…"

She then let me go.

With freedom in hand, I went inside, seeking shelter from the rain. Wiz followed suit but we were too late as we were already drenched.

"Seriously, what were you thinking? We are already drenched thanks to your dimwi-**RESET** wise blunders. J-Just like how one of those Sun Tsu or Gengis Khan said! A clever tactical retre-"

"Kazuma…"

Her soft voice penetrated into my ears.

"Y-Yes! Wha- _gasp!"_

A bloody clever tactical retreat indeed.

"Kazuma do you…what are you looking at?"

What am I looking at?

Treasures!

Look at the numerous beads rested upon her silk. How about the silk rested upon a chest? Yes, her chest! Set ajar is her treasure chest! Shining forth its dark brassiere, holding back the gigantic pearls! Wait…her rubies! Where are they!? Damnable silk…damnable brassiere! Where the hell are her nip-**Re**s**-ples!?

Then, her dumb hair stood, so did her arm.

Belated, I found a makeshift ruby, quite large and quite frightening. I found a flustered Wiz, shooting me with her death rays, only for it to be promptly hidden in the shadow of her streaking arm-

"Kek!"

Thus, the world spun.

There was an angry Wiz; there was the wall; there was the stairs; there was a Wiz in shock; and there was the floor.

The curtains fell and so ended my search for rubies.

* * *

"Yami! Where are you!?"

Amidst my thirst for breath, I screamed.

The rain poured in the dark. Even though it wasn't far from noon, the Sun just had to hide not just behind the clouds but also the trees.

A lightning flashed.

Then, a thunder.

*RUMBLE*

"Kyaaa!"

There she is!

I ran past the woods and found Yami screaming to the sky.

"Shut yer gob! Ya boombampot!"

And another flash.

"Kyaaaa!"

Luckily, it missed the ground.

Unfortunately, she hit the mud

"Yami! Are you ok!?"

I ran up to Yami, whose butt was planted into the mud.

"Eejit! Didnae ah tyll ye!? Deh folloo me!"

"Jesus…I think it's not the best time for her to speak tongues…"

"YA SCUNNER!"

She rose and threw herself onto me.

I smiled at such welcoming gesture and proceeded to hug her.

"What the hell's bells are ye doin'!"

"If you wanted a hug, you should have told me!"

"Och!"

Suddenly, a flash again.

Yami screamed but was drowned out by the quick thunder.

*RUMBLE*

Yami then hugged me back, squeezing me as she leaned.

Before I could even feel happy, my foot slipped at the sudden weight.

"Ah."

My back was the first to fall on this slippery slope.

Of all place, we were falling on an empty hill, having nothing to stop us.

And so we slid down the hill like a spinning log as we were in each other's arms.

I tried my best to cover for her but we were both small so I couldn't do much.

We then came to a stop.

"Urk!"

Fortunately, it was my back that tasted the brunt force of our sudden stop.

"_Sniff_ it hurts…it hurts…_sniff _uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

She began crying.

I wanted to cry along or did I?

Quite oddly, I didn't feel much pain, despite my senses much heightened.

I rose up and began looking around.

It was an empty place but not too far from us were the same woods.

I looked back and found a big rock.

It seemed like an ordinary rock but there was a hole…or should I say a tunnel?

It was just big enough for us to go inside.

"Yami, let's go there."

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

She wasn't listening.

With dialogue out of the way, I tried to carry her in my arms but she was too heavy.

So I gave her my back.

"Yami! Stop crying! We have to go in there!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

She still didn't listen.

With a sigh, I lowered myself just beside her and pulled her arms over my shoulders. Afterwards, I stood up then held her legs.

As her wail began to drown out the noise of rain for me, quite an annoyance to be frank, we entered the short tunnel, even as I limped.

Now beneath a roof, I tried with my utmost strength to gently put her down…but I ended up falling on my butt.

"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I wanted to comfort her but I felt my body go cold.

The pain that wasn't so active began rupturing at my back.

I fell on the mud and my eyes grew quite heavy.

Then, it all went dark.

* * *

Umm…

I opened my eyes as I tried to get u-

"Ow!"

I felt a sharp pain in my head.

"Don't move. Just stay still."

I turned to the owner of the voice, Wiz.

"What…happened…?"

"You fell down the stairs…"

So that's why I'm lying on a bed…

"Kazuma…"

I turned to her and found her somber.

She lowered her head.

"I'm sorry. I was too rash. I shouldn't have hit you back there."

I saw long into her and found the chest buried back.

I felt something snap in my head

"How dare you…"

"I'm sorry…if there is anything I can do for you, please tell me."

Anything?

"Show me your rubies."

"Rubies?"

"_Ehehem! _I-I mean umm I accept your apology."

The reason arrived just in time, saving my ass from a certain doom.

Wiz shook her head softly.

"No, I have to give a compensation. It's…it's not the first time you were hurt because of my violence…"

Wow…you were aware…and here I thought you were a psycho-**RESET**\- empathetic person.

…Sigh.

"How about a date?"

Wiz got all flustered at my suggestion.

"But I suppose you would be on your way to becoming a pedophile."

Then, ready were her laser guns.

However, the lasers weren't fired. Instead, she gave me a little smile.

"Why not?"

"Huh?"

"Let's go to the library and have a long date there. How does it sound?"

"I-I'd like to pass."

"How unfortunate…"

There was silence until an idea popped up.

I can't believe I remembered my long cherished dream only just now…

"Ms. Wiz…"

"What is it?"

"C-Can you give me a lap pillow?"

Wiz tilted her head.

"Lap pillow? What do you mean?"

"I-It means umm hehe. _Ehem!_ I-I want to rest my head on your lap."

Her sharp eyes widened a wee bit as she blushed.

"I-Is that all?"

"Yes."

She didn't say anything in approval but her actions surely did.

She undressed…undressed is an overstatement. She removed her indoor shoes.

She must've changed her usual heels.

She then got up the bed and seated just beside as she rashly placed my head over her lap.

How soft…it would've been much better if she didn't wear a tracksuit.

"Ms. Wiz…"

"W-What is it?"

"You don't know how happy I am that I can't see your face from here."

"Is that an insult?"

"Nope. It's a compliment."

I sighed as I felt her unload her laser guns.

Ahh, what a bliss. It feels like an embrace; an embrace for my whole being. I feel loved and I feel protected…,heh, what an irony.

Is it her perfume? Or is it her normal scent?

It's not strong but it's warm.

*HUUUUUUUUUFF*

"Hmm? Are you ok?"

"_Cough! Cough!_ I-I'm ok. Don't mind me."

I should control myself better.

"By the way, what did you want to say a while ago?"

"Oh...nothing much…do you want to have a lunch together?"

"And study with you?"

"Well, that's quite an initiative from you. Sure why not? Why not also add a cup of tea?"

"Umm…"

Studying is such a pain but I need it. Besides, I get to spend time with her.

"Yes please."

Wait…how come I'm wearing a tracksuit?

"Ms. Wiz…who changed my clothes?"

There was no reply…but I felt a tremor from her lap.

Don't tell me…

"Ms. Wiz did you change my clothes?"

"_Ehem!_ Kazuma, I could see that you've improved quite well on the quiz but it's not eno-"

"Ms. Wiz…d-did you really changed my clothes!? Where the hell is my underwear?!"

"W-What are you talking about? I only changed your outer clothes, not your underwear…"

"SEE?! You changed my clothes! You saw my underwear!"

Her boobs shook, quite a great representation of her mental state.

"I-I couldn't help it. I can't let you catch another cold…and the nurse had to be on leave…"

"This is unfair! I have to see yours as wel- _gasp!"_

Oh shit…good bye I guess.

Hmm? Where is her toxic femininity? Where is her socially unpunishable violence?

"Very well…"

"_GASP!"_

Shit! I almost choked!

"But i-it will be for only a bit…"

"Yes. Please go on."

Wiz laid my head down, away from her trembling lap.

She got off and…and proceeded to hold her waist, without turning to me, showing me her buttocks.

She was then frozen stiff.

Ahh, what a sight to behold.

Behold what? Her innocent hesitation of showing me, her student, her panties.

But it's getting annoying nonetheless.

"We don't have all day you know."

She flinched at my reminder.

Then, with trembling hands and shivering legs, began lowering her pants-

*BAM*

"SHUTINNEE-…"

Aqua shot the door open…

She stared with a silent deadpan eyes at the seemingly absurd situation.

Then, she closed the door.

""WAIT!""

* * *

After a long and arduous elaboration, with numerous omission, quite frankly, I don't know how but we were able to clear her misunderstanding…if there was any.

Wiz left off soon after as she seemed to not be able to handle the shame.

Now, there were just me, resting on the bed, and Aqua, staring down at me.

I felt distance in the way she looked at me as she spoke.

"So how does it feel like to cheat?"

"Cheat? What do you mean?"

She then brought out two sheets of paper, my track record for my service and presumably, hers.

"Look, don't you see anything strange?"

Hmm…mine is almost filled except a few days.

Huh, her sheets are much less filled.

"Still blind to your corruption? Hmm?"

"I don't see the problem."

Her brows trembled at my reply.

"Playing the fool are we?! Let me elaborate myself because you don't seem to get it with your peanut brain! Look! How come I have much less hours than you!? Where the hell did they go!?"

So this is what she does. Visiting a sick man only to shout at him unjustly…

"It went to shitvillion! That's where it went shithead!"

"Oh! Passing the blame?!"

"No! Because it was your fault to begin with!"

"Me?! I'm the victim here!"

"Hah! Do you know where all your supposed hours went!?"

"NO! I don't know! I have no idea how my hours filled your record sheet!"

I felt something truly snap in my head at her unrelenting victimhood.

"I told you, it went to SHITVILION!"

"SHITVILION WHERE!?"

"UP YOUR ARSE!"

I pointed my finger at the offended bitch and barraged her further.

"You work like shit! So you got shit! You shit what you shit you piece of shit! Just because your shit is plowing back into your ass, doesn't mean you can go shitting yourself to no end!"

Then, the usual pause, the usual pooling of her tears, and the usual wail.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Even as Aqua began shaking me, quite roughly so, I felt peace.

I mean, it's better than the way she treated me back in the classroom.

Compared to that, I'd rather have her cry.

Seeing how it all went like the usual, I casually opened my mouth even further.

"Shut up thot! I bet you're just a bleeding bitch with daddy issues!"

I waited triumphantly for her wail to worsen…

But then, something unusual happened.

The wail stopped.

I looked up, wondering what happened, and found Aqua withholding her mouth.

Her lips were pressed tight, not allowing a leak, but her tears still flowed, evoking soft whimpers.

She glared at me with both shock and anger as her hands trembled.

"Aqua…"

I called out…I was compelled to. When I looked at those sorrowful eyes, I just had to say it.

'I'm sorry…' but before I could, Aqua squashed the papers and threw them at me.

Without checking whether they hit, which none did, she stormed out of the room.

In the middle of the abrupt silence, I remained stunned.

I couldn't do anything but stare at the crumpled white, littering the floor.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I did it! I'm done with the chapter before the month passed! Anyhow, I believe this is the first chapter to end in a cliffhanger-ish end. Welp, I don't want to stretch the chapter any further so yeah.

This may be off topic...heck, it's a topic way off on this site but I am compelled to ask. May I ask a bit of time to pray for Hong Kong? It may not be useful or who knows, there might be a miracle. As many of you know, China is 'rotating' troops in Hong Kong and I fear, as many do, that Tienmen Square Massacre 2.0 may happen...? Wait, where is 1.0? Jokes aside, I know I'm going out of my bound but I ask just a tiny bit of time to give prayers for Hong Kong...or at least praise Pepe, the symbol of freedom! Seriously though, what kind of timeline are we living in?

**LightDusk16**: You know what? I was surprised. No, I was shocked! Just after 10 or so minutes after the upload, there was a review! From you! Thanks! And yes, Kazuma needs a win...he may not have it now but he will.

**DNWorks**: About the family...as of now, I didn't think yet how Kazuma should deal with them but yes, the relationship between the girls are unsevereable. They just are. I mean, they even persevered through a catastrophic debt together. **I will not add the dots anymore because it comes out as D. not D. N. Works (without spaces).  
**

**nhehvnukl**: Thus, the change. Kazuma just has to go through pain before getting a girl. That's my rule of thumb.


	11. Chapter 10 Time for Apology! (2)

Aqua, Aqua Theos. That is her name. Aqua is her hair, as blue as the ocean across the bright sky. Her skin is white like the clouds above the sea, drifting leisurely, almost lazily, along the wind. Her eyes are blue as well but darker. There is depth in her eyes just as the ocean grows darker and darker, unable to shine a light upon the deepest secrets…but I managed to do it. Not just shine a light upon them but violently stomp in my blindness.

I remembered. There is another color to the ocean. When the pearl above the sky comes down to kiss the sea, the ocean brightens up in delight…or so I used to think. Now, I know better. It's actually a fiery fit of anger directed at the fleeing Sun that roasted its body the whole day.

No wonder she is angry. No wonder Yami betrayed me.

Granted, I was different back then. I didn't insult her and in no way did I ignore her. In fact, it was the opposite. I gave her my best…but what does it all matter? I'm still the same man. A man that just can't make a woman happy…no, I make them unhappy.

I made all kinds of excuses but do they justify my actions? Stealing her panties; worsening her deviance; revealing her secret…did I really have to do them?

I already know the answer. Otherwise, I wouldn't be suffocating from the stones squeezing through my arteries nor the weights dangling over my limbs.

Sigh, my school life is turning out as I expected...that everything has gone wrong.

"Where are you going? We are here."

A voice rippled over me, waking me from my thought.

I faced up, away from the brick layered floor and onto the rows of tall buildings ahead of me that ended in a construction site. As far as I can remember, constructions never ceased and I was told that I wasn't born early enough to witness the beginning of this town's development.

*HONK*

I turned to my left and found a road filled with cars, honking as they went. Beyond it were the same buildings across the wayside. The traffic was a sight impossible just a decade past…not that I remember fully well. I recall, however, I used to cross the roads anywhere I wanted. I just had to wait for the rare few cars to pass by and I will be off to the other side. Now, it would be a death wish.

Damn the apartments! Welp, at least, my father is happy that much of his lands are growing really expensive…actually, they should build more apartments.

"Are you ignoring me?"

I turned to the other side, where the voice came from, and found nothing except the large window, showcasing two mannequins and their underwears...if they can be called under that is. Knowing that mannequins don't talk, neither a possessed one, I lowered my head and found a wild Megumin glaring at me.

"Hoh…making fun of me?"

I backed away in a jump.

"Whoa! Since when were you there!?"

I could hear a snap as veins popped up by her eye.

"Let's fight dammit!"

Then, she pounced.

Of course, just as a hyena is to a lion, Megumin is to the Great Me. She could only flail her little arms in vain.

"You know, this is getting old way too quickly."

"Then get a punch from me once dickhead!"

My hand twitched but before it could grab the bag, I placed it over my neck, rubbing it with a sigh.

"I'm sorry ok? I just had something to think about. Seriously though, were you following me the whole time?"

Her pester came to a halt as looked on with a blank face. Soon, after a snort, she spoke.

"Unlike you, I can remember what we promised just this morning."

"…Sorry, I wasn't in my right mind."

She stared at me for a moment until she pointed to the back with her thumb.

"Let's go buy my panties."

Before I could comply, my body froze in place.

Sure, I said I will go with her. I even said stuff unfit for a virgin, acting all cool…seriously, what was I thinking!? What made me think I can go inside the land of secrets!? It's like entering a women's bathroom for crying out loud!

"Ignoring me again…?"

Her words brought me to my senses and before she jumps again, I spoke.

"Hey, on second thought, I think it's better for you to go by yourself…"

"Hmph, getting all scared now aren't you? Weewee."

"Weewee? Urinate?"

"What? No. You know how wee means little or small…I'm just calling your thing a Little Littlet."

Her gaze went down as she spoke, stopping at a certain spot. I followed her gaze and found my boy under her inspection. My cheeks burned at the implication.

"W-Who are you calling a Weewee!?"

"Well, I heard that a man is as confident as the size of his thing, Weewee."

"W-What a coincidence! I heard that only an empty oyster can speak like that!"

"Oh! Will you please elaborate the implication for me, Little Littlet!?"

"Why not!? You desolate…! Sigh, I'm sorry. I got a little hot headed there. Let's go. I'll accompany you."

I went past her and opened the door but Megumin was nowhere to be found when I looked back past my shoulder. I turned around and found Megumin standing there, unmoved, all while gaping at me.

"Aren't you coming in?"

There was no reaction.

Seeing how she didn't respond even after I called out to her a couple more times, I went close to her and snapped my fingers.

*SNAP*

Megumin flinched as she gasped after the sound.

"R-R-Right! L-Let's go in!"

She bolted off into the shop as if running away from a ghost…

I followed suit and felt the atmosphere change immediately as if stepping into a new world. On both sides, panties and bras of different designs, of varying colors, and of diverse brands hung by the wall upon rows and rows and columns after columns. In the center were another pair of mannequins, albeit, only their torso was displayed upon a black wooden stand, displaying another set of underwears…perhaps, the latest choice of women.

There were a few women here and there checking out the items for themselves as some stood before the center of the walls, where mirrors stood. At the sound of my footstep, their gazes turned to me, freezing me on where I stood.

As my brain went fried at the sudden attention, a woman approached with a smile. It was quite obvious that she is of foreign heritage based on her brown skin.

"Welcome! Are you here looking for your sister's panties?"

"Hey, what are you implying by saying that I'm just looking for pan-"

My hand flew toward her mouth but with breaks not working in my moment of panic, a sharp noise sounded at the contact and my hand did its best to prevent her shriek from erupting out.

"Y-Yes! She is my sister, Meg…K-Kazumi is her name! We are just looking for her panties."

Kazumi's struggle came to a hal-

"AAAARRRGGGHHH!"

This damn Chihuahua!

A fiasco broke out as I tried my best to free my hand. The clerk just stood there with an awkward smile as she seemed to not know what to do in this situation. Eventually, she came to intervene.

"Please calm down! Siblings shouldn't fight!"

"We're not-"

My hand interjected just at the nick of time.

"Yes! You're right. We shoul- arrgh!"

And so we continued our fiasco at the expense of the clerk's distress. In the end, after much barking and biting, we stood there like all good siblings should as she bit my hand and I pulled her cheek.

The clerk tried her best to hold back her frown with a forced smile.

"S-So lil sis, what are you looking for?" said the clerk.

Before she could bark again, I pulled her cheek, keeping her at leash.

"Can you show her some teddy panties?" I spoke before Kazumi could. "You know, the ones good for her age."

She nodded in response.

As the clerk went off to find the said item, I put myself in motion. Knowing Chihuamin very well, I freed my hand in her moment of shock and pulled her other cheek, preventing her from taking another bite.

To my surprise, Kazumi didn't struggle as much as I expected. She just tapped my hands.

After much contemplation, I freed her. Kazumi turned around while covering her pouted cheeks…or should I say swollen cheeks. She shot glares at me but chuckled all of a sudden.

"Hehe, you know, this is better than how you acted a while ago. How am I supposed to react when my nemesis starts apologizing? I would feel too much guilt when one day I give you the taste of my explosion."

I felt my eyes widen and was stunned at what she told. A second was necessary to put my mind back on track as I stiffened my burning cheeks, holding back the smile, all while avoiding her gaze.

"Pftt! What kind of face is that?"

I don't know…but you have a smile on your face.

As we stood there in laughter and silence, the clerk came with a panty that matched the aforementioned descriptions.

"Here is the teddy panties you asked for! Take a-"

"Sorry but I wouldn't wear something like that."

"Huh…?"

Megumin began elaborating some details to the stunned clerk. After much clarification, the clerk went away. As I saw her going to a corner, I found the other women giving us warm smiles. The kind a loving mother would give to her childr-

"Seriously though, you stole my panties numerous times already. Why can't you understand my taste yet?"

Oh shit.

Their faces fell in an instant and swift were their hands at bringing out their phones, dialing to an address I've already been in…

"WAIT!"

* * *

After a bout of grand explanation, coupled with an actual visit from a policeman, who frowned immediately after finding me, whom he interrogated just a day past, the misunderstanding…yes, the bona fide misunderstanding was successfully dissuaded and Megumin bought a pair of panties.

It wasn't what she asked for as it was too expensive and buying four pieces would require too much a downgrade for her. So she compromised for two. She didn't seem disappointed at all as she left with smiles.

I walked down the path and reached the bus station. There wasn't much traffic around this part of the town as the road ahead leads to the farms.

As I sat on the empty bench, a chuckle escaped. I was surprised at the sudden act but soon, a smile found its way.

Maybe, I'm not as hopeless as I thought. I'm a man with many faults but I can still make a girl smile…or is she just weird?

Let's apologize.

Apologizing to a woman like her would surely hurt my pride but I am the one at fault. Besides, I don't want to let such a measly comment severe whatever existed between us.

It's Aqua we're talking about. I'm sure some food would cool her temper.

As I thought over what to do, the bus arrived. I stood up but didn't head inside. Instead, after an apology to the driver, I went back into the town.

* * *

The morning service was done, albeit, quite late than usual. I ran back to the building as the class may start anytime soon. Even as I was pressed for time, I couldn't help but place my hand inside my pocket.

Inside the pocket was a box of lean rectangular shape and encompassing it was a wrapper of smooth fabric. Its base color is blue with white polka dots decorating its surface in an orderly fashion. I have to admit that this wrapper may not be the best to house the chocolate bar but when I saw the design, I just thought it suited her the best. So I chose it despite the cashier recommending me a red wrapper.

Red just doesn't suit her, after all.

Heh, just imagining her eating this chocolate with a smile…w-will not make me happy at all! Idiot!

I entered the building. There were rows of brown shelves and a lot of students were changing their shoes. I passed through them and stood before my shelf. Oddly, I noticed a nasty smell, coming from my shelf.

With great care, I opened it.

What was revealed was my indoor shoes covered in a mysterious goo. Its color was green and it gave off a foul odor akin to feces. One thing was for sure, this pair of shoes can't be used.

*BAM*

Despite my shock, my hand moved on its own and shut the shelf immediately. I surveyed around and found the people looking at me but it wasn't the sort of shock I expected but simple questioning gazes.

I shouldn't have been too loud…seriously though, what did I do to deserve such a thing? Is being a NEET so bad that I have to be bulled!? Oh, wait.

Then, I remembered Arue and the meaningful glare she gave. So I promised to myself to do one more task today: to show who's the boss during lunch.

With a sigh, I placed my shoes at the top of the shelf and went inside without my shoes, accompanied by the confused looks of the fellow students. I couldn't help it. After all, my shoes weren't in a state to be used indoors due to the mud. Such a shame though, if I had more time, I would've defiled her shoes like she did mine.

I headed to the faculty room and asked Wiz for help. Thankfully, she let me borrow her slippers. However, when asked for the reason, I just told her I lost it…which resulted in me receiving a chop.

Arue…just you wait. I will make sure to return double.

After I swore to myself, I headed to my room. I climbed the stairs up to the third floor, where the classrooms for my batch was located. I went to the right and passed by students who still loitered the corridor. I opened the backdoor of the room '2-D' and went inside.

What?

It was a rightful question. I bet none can forego the scene before them without questioning it.

Aqua, who was still with her red wig, sat there on her seat but she wasn't alone. A group of students, boys and girls of fairly good looks, gathered around her as they seemed to exchange pleasant chatters.

Aqua wasn't such a loner like me but she couldn't make friends due to her antics…oh, right. It's gone.

No matter how shocked I was, it just wasn't right to be blocking the door. So I walked in my best attempt to appear normal, not at all disturbed, nor submissive. I don't know if it worked but it didn't divert their attention from their chatters.

I heaved a sigh, not of relief but of an effort to relieve my suffocation. I dragged the chair and sat…on it…

What is this?

I looked down onto the chair I sat upon, which invoked an unpleasant sensation. Even as a familiar odor struck my nose, I found the same goo that rendered my shoes unusable soiling my pants.

"What is that smell?"

I don't know who said it but he was near…no, he was right beside me.

"It smells like shit!"

"Where is it coming from?"

"It's coming from him!"

Dumbfounded, I looked up to those making a commotion and they were all looking at me.

"Aw man! I can't believe you're still shitting yourself when you're in high school!"

"Just what did you eat!? No amount of constipation can make a crap smell this bad!"

"Get away from Aqua you piece of shit!"

Before I could even respond, I saw the fleeting glace Aqua gave me. It was for the briefest of moment but I was able to catch the grin on her mouth and the laughter in her eyes.

"Now, now, don't make such a ruckus. Anyone as special as him can be relieving himself anytime of the day. Let's go easy on him," said Aqua.

What followed was the laughter of the students around her as they began commenting how kind and understanding Aqua was.

I sat there, unmoving. No matter how much I wanted to retort, no words came out of my mouth. Even before I realized, I was holding onto the box in my pocket, making sure it wasn't soiled…and it wasn't.

I stood up and went to the door. Their mocks followed suit but I found no strength to shake them off. I just trudged through the ridicules and went out of the room.

* * *

Their works continued. During the class, they threw objects at me, ranging from erasers to letters of threats and insults. In between classes, I made sure to go outside the room. I just couldn't endure through their mockery, after all.

It was growing glaringly obvious and it didn't take long for the woman before me to take notice of what was going on.

We were in an empty room and a rather small one at that. There was nothing but an empty cabinet by the wall and a wooden table in the center with a couple chairs, where we were seated.

"Kazuma, are you…are you alright?"

I took my eyes off my track pants and turned to the voice, finding Wiz with a worried look.

Averting my gaze, I spoke.

"I…haha, what do you mean? I'm perfectly fine."

"If you just say the word, I will definitely help you."

"Why so serious? I told you, I'm alright."

"Kazuma…"

Her voice was cold…colder than usual. I turned to her and shivered at the cold eyes glaring back.

I can tell. She was angry. It seemed like the usual but it's different. Colder…angrier…it was like watching a woman glaring at the murderer of her parents.

"…there are only a few things I cannot forgive and bullying is one of them."

"…Right."

I averted my gaze once more, unable to handle her glare.

I know it wasn't directed at me but I didn't want to let her see me any longer.

"I can tell who the culprit is…it's Aqua."

"It's not her fault," I spoke as I turned back to her. "So…so please don't get mad at her."

Wiz didn't return a word but made a frown as she seemed confused.

After a while, she let out a sigh.

"If that's what you wish…"

"Thanks."

It's really my fault, after all.

"Well then, let's have a meal."

Oh yeah…

Wiz took out her packed lunch as I did mine.

"Did you cook…?" said I.

"Yes…Why? Do you have any problem?"

Seeing how her eyes grew sharp, I spoke in haste.

"O-Of course not! I was just wondering how you didn't cut your fingers this time…"

"Well, handling a knife is my strong suit. With some practice, it's easy for me to cook without getting injured."

That's the norm though…

"Do you want a taste?"

"Sure."

Wiz opened her lunch and displayed the varying foods neatly packed into the container. There were omelets, sausages, nuggets, veggies, and of course, rice.

Quite the basics huh.

I opened my lunch and found only a little rice and a small piece of fish…

"…Did you eat your lunch during class?"

"O-Of course not! I-I'm on a diet."

Wiz then placed some of her foods in my container.

"Thanks."

"You shouldn't be malnourished in your age. It won't be too late for you to start diet later on."

"…Haha, yeah."

I'm not sure if nuggets and sausages would provide as much beneficial nutrients as a fish would…but welp, they will keep my tummy full, at least. I took a bite and it tasted like any other generic nuggets. It was delicious.

"How is it?"

I found her staring at me in quiet.

"It's goo- bitter!"

How do you make an after taste arrive so late? Heck, how do you make a nugget this bitter!? How did you do it Wiz!?

"Oh…," muttered Wiz.

Her face still donned a stoic look but she seemed visibly disheartened as her shoulders slouched, resulting in her boobs to sa-**DELETE**-.

…I shouldn't have said that.

I began gobbling down on the food she gave as myriad of flavors struck my tongue.

Lips trembling and tongue twisting, I tried my hardest to speak coherently.

"I-It'sh kood! T-T-Thienksh fur daa puud!"

"You don't have to force yourself…," said Wiz as her gaze fell down.

Even though the nugget tasted bitter, coupled with the sweet omelet, sour sausage, and the spicy tomato, I still shouldn't have said that…

What am I doing? Trampling over her good will…what are you doing Kazuma?!

I got up and snatched her lunch and began gulping them down.

"K-Kazuma?"

Despite the contorted dancing of my intestines, I struggled to wear the best of smiles.

"EEt'sh dya byeest!"

Her eyes blinked a couple of times and then, "_Hu," _she cracked. "Huhuhu."

"Hyue hyue," I tried laughing along.

Soft laughter began filling the room and it came to a stop with a sigh from Wiz.

"Thank you Kazuma. I will try my best next time."

"Hell na-**Halt thy tongue, pussy**\- H-Hell yeah!"

Some unknown force out there helped me out, correcting my instinctual response.

Wiz beamed with giggles. I couldn't help but smile back…granted, I wasn't sure if it was a smile. My lips were going through nonstop spasms, after a-

*GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

A mighty pain struck my stomach. It was so profound and deep that it allowed me to understand the language of the gods for a moment.

Whomst'd've'ly'yaint'shit'nt'ed'ies's'y'es striketh my bowels?

My head fell down, banging the table.

"K-Kazuma!? What's wrong?"

"I…I have to take my leave," I spoke as I struggled to breath.

"Wait," Wiz stood up. "I will help you."

Wiz came to my side and helped me up. She began leading me to the door.

"Where...are you taking me?"

"To the clinic."

"I…need to go to the restroom."

"Oh…"

Her voice drifted into silence.

* * *

After fighting a prolonged precarious battle on the toilet, it came out victoriously. I was now walking through the first floor towards the stairs.

I never expected Wiz to cook nor did I expect her to be so terrible at it. Eating her damnations proved to be quite fatal…huh, I'm smiling?

I saw the slight reflections on the window beside me, showing me my arching lips.

Heh, well, she still cooked for me. It's my first time to eat a woman's lunch other than my mom. Yami you may ask? I shit it all out so who cares?

I hope Wiz will be alright…she seemed so disheartened. Welp, I better hurry up. The bell may ring anytime now.

"You!" a voice came from the back of the stairs.

I turned to it, only to find a dude standing there under the stairs, glaring at me. He was well-built and it hurts to say but he had a very good look, perhaps, the best in my batch. Upon closer look, he had a flowing golden hair, leaning to the brown hue. It wasn't as beautiful and clean as Lalatina's but a golden hair nonetheless.

I saw him. He stood by Aqua in the classroom but he didn't throw anything at me, neither an insult nor an object, except his glare. I believe he was from different classroom?

"Come here for a sec," he said.

Of course, I ignored him, going up the sta-

"Urk!"

The douche pulled my arm and threw me to the wall then grasped my collar.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He glared at me as he pulled my collar even higher.

I glared back as I said, "What the hell?"

As he strengthened his grasp, he spoke, "I heard everything from Aqua, about how you mistreated her and defiled her. I'm warning you now, if you ever get close to her again, I will make sure you regret it."

Hoh…this damn son of a bitch thinks he can tell me what to do?

"Scram," I muttered.

He pulled me closer as he said, "What did you say?"

"I said scr-"

"Hey ya pal!"

Some other guy butted in, separating the both of us. It was another blonde dude but his hair was of golden white, quite a contrast from this son of a bitch in front of me and the bitch in some other place.

It was Dust.

He placed his arm around my shoulder, acting all friendly.

"Where the hell have you been? I was looking for you all over the place!" said Dust as he began pulling me away from the scene.

"H-Hey! Stop!"

"Do you know how much time I wasted because of you!? You have to buy me lunch!"

And so he dragged me out of the place and the douche didn't follow us. Soon, we reached one of the corners of the corridor.

"Stop!" I said as I pushed him away. "Just what's your problem?"

"What's my problem? More like what's your problem? I just saved your ass."

"I never asked for your help."

"Heh, cocky as always," he rolled his eyes. "What's the point of fighting anyway? There's no chance for a NEET like you to win. Even if you do, you will become nothing but a delinquent, considering how you are being treated."

But he is the one who asked for it…

"Sigh, knock it off will ya? Nobody wants a man to be such a tsundere."

"And who's the tsundere?!"

He shrugged with a smirk.

This damn…!

"C'mon man, don't make such a face. Tell you what, I'll let you see…the utopia."

"…Utopia?"

"Yeah, the utopia."

His lips stretched to a grin.

He gestured for my ear, which I lent him as I was quite intrigued. He whispered the secrets of the utopia, rendering me to gasp in shock.

* * *

"I can't believe we are doing this…"

"Heh, everyone says that at first."

We were now seated on the rooftop. Even though the sky was growing dark and would seem to rain soon, there was no choice but to be here. At least, we can go in if it rains or run away into the classrooms if discovered.

I sat there by the wall, adjacent to the one that has the door. Dust seated beside me as he prepared his gears. After a while, he set down the key to the gates of utopia.

It was a camera attached to a drone.

"Uhehe! Here we go baby!" said Dust with an unscrupulous grin as he began operating the drone.

I gulped at the sight of the drone taking its flight. The footage taken in by the drone was projected onto his phone screen and his phone was attached to the controller, which awfully resembled the Playsquare joystick. It first displayed where we were, the rooftop. It lingered onto us for a bit until it began moving forward, going beyond the rails on the borders of the roof, flying just above the front side of the main school building.

The footage showed the broad path in front of the building, leading to the gate. The path was decorated with the glittering garden on each side and there were branching paths here and there. Those paths lead to the various muddy grounds for soccer…or football, rugby, baseball, and such. There were even courts for tennis...

Damn, why do we need so much of them? To raise the tuition fee?

Anyway, there were male students visible on the right side of the main school building, who seemed to be headed to the sports hall.

"Better hurry up," said Dust amidst his twisted grin.

The drone began moving again. However, it moved backward, to the backside of the building. Upon crossing the border, it moved to the left. As it moved, the footage showed the backside. A small pathway ran around the building with the woods bordering in the distance.

Soon, the drone crossed the end and it showed an empty place with nothing but the warehouse and the woods beyond. Knowing that nobody was around, the drone descended, passing by the roof, the fourth floor, and stopped at the next.

Then, gingerly, it flew towards the utopia.

There wasn't any large window to peer through, unlike the other rooms, but there existed a tiny one, about twice the size of a human head, at the top corner of the utopia.

Slowly, it creeped as we peeped at the screen.

""_Gulp.""_

The distance was slowly reduced. Inch by inch, it closed in. What was first shown were the lockers by the walls. Seeing how they were opened, we heaved a sigh of both relief…and lust. Soon, numerous heads of varying designs were shown. Some wore a pony; others let their hair drape down; and though only a few, there were also the eccentrics who tied their hair to a twin tail. Moreover, the color varied. There were many owners of black hair but there were also a sizable number of blondes. Of course, as usual, there were outliers in this aspect as well, who sported odd colors such as pink and purp-

Argh! Who cares about all this!? Just show what's under!

"Move!" said I.

"Wait! I have to be careful or they will notice us!"

He's right…but what can I do before the treasure island!? How can I sit tight before the brassieres and the pearls!? How can I stay idle when the rubies are being buried even as we speak!?

"MOV- urk!"

Shit! Too bright! It wasn't the screen, no, it was the blinding radiance of the treasures slowly being unveiled…! Huh? Where did all the light go? Where did…oh.

There it was shown. The lockers began closing down in quick succession and the women were all clothed in their pink tracksuits. All their gazes turned to the door. There was nothing except the door but they all looked at it. Soon, they nodded to each other and began leaving the room.

My fist flew forth.

"Kugh!"

Dust fell to the floor like the dust he is and I mounted him. I glared at the useless maggot with hatred never found before.

"Don't get so worked up! I never expected them to finish so fast. This never happ- kugh!"

Even as I barraged him with my fists, I began bombarding him with my mouth as well.

"You worthless piece of shit! You had one job…one fucking job! Your eyes were made to ogle and your hands were designed to lift skirts! Your face would make you the primary suspect of all sexual crimes! And yet, you failed in your own expertise? And you were supposed to be the fastest among the millions? Why don't you just stay home and jack off so you can compensate for the sperms wasted in your conception!?"

"Hey! Even I would cry if you say something like that!"

"Who gives a…!"

My eyes caught onto the screen, still held by Dust, displaying Eris surveying the room as she poked her head through the slightly opened door.

"What are you…_gasp!"_

Dust pitched his own fist, rendering me to fall away. When I got up, I saw his lewd gaze fixated on the screen. Of course, the perverted grin plastered his mouth.

I threw myself once more.

"What's wrong with you!? We can just enjoy the scene together!"

He's right…although the Light of Shame won't allow it, I just couldn't let him see it.

"Give me that control!"

"No way!"

Even as we struggled for the control, I saw it. I saw Eris staring at us…

"Ahh! She saw it!" said Dust.

He began controlling the drone to flee-

"Hey! Don't make it come to us!" said I.

"Ah shit!"

But it was too late, the drone was already on the roof and the last footage showed Eris, poking herself out the window and glaring at the drone…

"Well, that was fun," I said as I began heading to the door. "Kek!"

Dust caught onto my tracksuit as he said, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Let me go! I am still innocent! I never even saw a dime!"

"Shut up! You're my accomplice! You should be caught for an attempted sexual crime!"

We began brawling like idiots, wasting our time as we exchanged punches.

*BAM*

Oh shit.

"Show yourself pervert!"

The voice came from the door and it wasn't long for her to turn around and find our debacle. She then stood there in silence, glaring at us…or at me?

"Kazuma, she is alone! Let's attack her so she can keep quiet!"

"Have you no heart!?"

"I-It's just a joke!"

Even as we faced off each other, a frosty voice blew into my ears.

"Apologize to Aqua."

I turned back to her at the mention of the name and confirmed that Eris was indeed glaring at me. Taking the opportunity, Dust ran off with his drone.

Her brows were knitted together and her blue eyes were ground sharp. They stabbed daggers at me as she stood there in brief silence.

"Do you know how much she cried? Her eyes were still red when I saw her this morning. Just what did you do to her?"

I couldn't say a thing nor look into her eyes. I just stood there with my lowered head.

"Why so silent? You hurt others so easily and yet you can't give a single apology?"

I couldn't voice any word as I couldn't find one.

"Don't you talk to Aqua ever again if you can't even apologize."

With that, she left the roof.

As the sound of her footsteps waned off, I sat on the floor. Leaning my back onto the wall, I gazed into the dark clouds above. One drop at a time, the clouds began pouring down the rain.

* * *

"You're all dismissed."

The last teacher of the day left the room.

Immediately, the students began heading out, either to home or to some club, and Dust was the fastest to leave. A few groups remained, chatting about what fun things to do. One of them was the group beside me.

I tried to find ways to talk to Aqua but she was always surrounded by her new friends. I couldn't talk to her during class as they would start telling the teacher about how noisy I was; nor during the breaks as they would begin chatting with her, not allowing me a single leeway. Besides, the blonde douche by her side won't allow me to get near her at all.

Sigh…I should give up giving this chocolate in person.

"By the way, have you seen the Shitzuma coming in the room all wet?"

"Haha! I can't believe he did that! Who does he think he is? Cool? That only works if you're not a shitface!"

"I told you, someone as special as him can be unpredictable at times. We have to understand him."

"You're right Aqua. Hahaha!"

…I better leave.

I stood up and began heading to the doo-

*BAM*

"Aw shit man! I just stepped on a shit!"

You were the one who tripped me!

"Sigh, what do I do? I just stepped on a shit."

"You asking me? You better ask for compensation then."

Compensation my ass!

"Right. Hey! Shitzuma…what is this?"

I got up and turned around. I glared at the thug, who had a slicked back brown hair…and found him looking at the blue box on the floor. I stretched my hand to grab it but it grasped nothing but the air.

"Whoops. What is this? Some gift for your love? Yikes!"

I shot glares at him as I said, "Give it back."

"Ooh scary~ What? Wanna fight?" pushing my shoulder, he continued, "You got nothing chicken! _Cock cock, cock!"_

""Hahaha!""

My fist flew in a heartbeat as it struck the face of this fucking piece of shit! He was thrown to the floor and I was ready to pounce on him but someone caught my back. I struggled to be free but before I could, a foot landed on my stomach.

"Keok!"

I couldn't help but fall to the floor as I held where I was hit. I wished I could move for I know it wasn't the end but I just couldn't.

"Fucking shit!"

"Urk!"

I had no choice but to let him stomp my back multiple times.

"Enough!"

The stomping stopped. I raised my head and found the blonde douche holding back the piece of shit, whose hair was quite disheveled. He wanted to land more kicks but the former made sure to prevent him.

"Let me go, Mitsurugi! Why are you defending this piece of shit!?"

"Henry, back off! There are lines you shouldn't cross!"

Seeing how Mitsuragi didn't let up, the piece of shit of a Henry heaved a sigh as he went still. Mitsurogi freed him and Henry kemp his hair with his hand.

"You're too kind Mitsurugi. A piece of shit like him don't deserve any kindness."

Pretentious son of a bitch…!

"Hmm? For Aqua…?"

I jumped at the sound, hoping to land on him, but I fell immediately after as I wasn't in the right shape to do so.

"Pftt! Seriously? This is for Aqua?" he began tearing the box open. "Know your place you piece of shit! Have you no shame!? Even after you made it so miserable for Aqua, you still want to get involved? Good thing this shit never ended in her hands!"

Now the blue wrapper gone, he held the chocolate and the letter.

"Chocolate? Are you seriously giving her a chocolate? Heshey's at that?!" he threw the chocolate to the ground and stomped on it. "Haha! Look at that. It ended up just like you, Shitzuma!"

His eyes then gazed into the letter.

"Who still gives letters nowadays? Hmm, let's see what scribbles you wrote here…Aqua, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday…"

I couldn't bear to hear any longer. Stumbling along, I ran out of the room. I wasn't in any shape or form to do so but I simply had to. I just wanted to get as far away as possible.

Down the stairs I went but my body took its toll as I fell halfway down the stairs and landed on the first floor. I just wanted to lie there but there were eyes looking at me. Looking at the wretch that I am. I stood up and began running again.

Upon crossing the entrance, I ran into someone, falling down once more. I raised my head and found Lalatina on her butt. My eyes darted away from her, the poor soul who had to run into my life, another victim whom I have hurt. I forced myself to get up and sped my legs once more.

"Wait!"

A hand caught onto mine, holding me from going away. It was soft and warm, just like her heart. I struggled to free my hand as I didn't want to sully her any longer. Soon, my hand was freed and off into the rain I went…but before I could, she caught me again.

"Please wait…"

Her whisper flowed into my ears as I was held in her embrace.

"Please listen to me…I know. I know the pain you're going through. I know how much it hurts…"

Her embrace grew tighter and she leaned her cheek onto my ear.

"But I know what hurts more…that is to be alone when it hurts the most."

Her arms around my chest seemed to tremble.

"Please, lean on me. I will be with you. I am here for you…"

My legs gave in at the soothing sound. Into her embrace, I further fell. I cried out amidst the crowd but I stood still in her arms. My tears fell as the rain, as was my cry to the downpour.

* * *

I stared down onto the pan that hosted a pasta. It's a pasta of peculiar nature and its name is of the kind I am not willing to pronounce. What was visible was cheese, mozzarella cheese, covering the whole pan. It quite resembles a pizza, albeit, the placement of the toppings was reversed. The penne pasta was placed underneath as evidenced by some of them poking out of their shell, revealing the red sauce underneath. The hot smell wafted into my nose, singing spices as they went. It felt as though the tomatoes and peppers were dancing in my nostrils.

'_Gulp' _is the noise I would have inevitably made before this extraordinary pasta but for now, I had to hold it in. After all, we, as in me and Lalatina, were seated in a restaurant. It had a good mixture of the shades of brown, exuding the air of wood. However, the place was rather dim as there were only small lamps above each table to light the color. There would've been more light should there be no rain but alas…

This is the kind of restaurant my chicken heart shuns but I was led by Lalatina…in her hand.

"Hmm? Do you not like this sort of food?" said Lalatina, who was seated opposite of me.

Flinching, I spoke, "N-No, I-I think I will love the pasta…"

Feeling the burns in my cheeks, I lowered my head to the point the pasta was no longer in my vision.

"Do you want me to feed you?"

I couldn't answer her right away but when I tried to, I found her stretching her fork toward me as the mozzarella followed its trail.

"Ah~"

Eyes wide and quite embarrassed, I spoke, "N-No way!"

"_Kyun!"_

Thus, ended the spell she cast on me.

As I saw her squirming her body like a worm, I couldn't help but let out a sigh. I wondered about the limit of her degeneracy and was quite surprised to find myself in relief. After a sigh, I opened my mouth, gesturing her to feed me, which she complied to.

"It's great."

"…Good."

She donned a smile as she rested her chin on her right palm, leaning to the glass wall beside us. Illuminated by the small lamp, her gentle smile was further accentuated. Therefore, definitely a shame on me but I had to avert my gaze. Lest I show her the success of her sorcery.

To break the spell, I began devouring the foo-

"Hot!"

I looked for water and found one that was held by Lalatina.

"Here, have some water."

I gulped down the water and after a long exhalation, I thanked her.

"You have to be careful when eating this pasta. It's quite…oh, I see. Just like me, you wanted to enjoy the burning sensation in your mouth!"

And thus, the spell was broken once more.

"No, I'm not!"

She's never tired is she?

But…how strange. Even though her face is flushed and drools flowed out of her mouth, somehow, I don't feel as much disgust as I used to.

An abrupt dread began filling me, alarming me of the change I'm going through.

Even so…

"Thank you."

Her eyes widened and she averted her head, then leaned onto her right palm. The red in her cheeks cooled down to a tinge as she gave me a peek.

"F-For what?"

"Don't let me say that…," I said as I made a frown.

Turning back to me, she spoke, "I would like to know."

Under her expectant look, I had to open my mouth.

"T-Thank you for…"

"For?"

"For…for buying me this damn pasta! Thanks woman!"

Her head fell out of her palm. Then, she gave me a pleading look.

"Isn't there something much more important that you have to thank me for!?"

"Who cares!? You are just a damn masochist so be grateful that I'm ignoring you!"

"Even I would want some decent treatment!"

I looked away into the glass as I snorted.

"Don't you know a thing about carrot and stick? If you want to be a great master…"

I began listening to the rain in the hope of deafening her nonsense.

The rain sounded much weaker now but the sky was still dark. Just on the other side of this glass was a street meant for people. Numerous umbrellas walked by and I was able to find a bunch of them grouped together. There, I found a woman of red hair at the center. Aqua chatted with her new group as they walked. Then, they stopped by a Karaoke and entered it.

I laid my head into my arms, which rested on the table. After which, I let out a sigh.

She looked so happy…full of smiles…perhaps, this is it. If she is happy with them, then who am I to interfere?

"That was Aqua wasn't she?"

I remained silent.

"…Do you hate Aqua?"

I raised my head and looking into her, I spoke, "…I don't."

"Then, do you still like her?"

"Did I ever?" I said with a frown.

She made a frown of her own as she smiled.

"Haha…well, why don't you eat first? It won't taste as good if it turns cold."

"Ok…"

I took some pasta to my plate and began eating. It was quite awkward to eat under her watchful eyes.

"Umm…aren't you going to eat?"

"Oh, don't worry about me. You can have it all to yourself."

"Right…you need to eat only the right amount to maintain your abs."

"T-That's uncalled for!"

Seeing how she jumped up, I raised my arms to guard myself. However, there was no further sign of something flying my way. Instead, what went my way was a cup of tea…out of her thermo bottle.

"…Have some tea. It will be good for your digestion," she said with puffed cheeks.

"T-Thanks."

Despite my confusion, I still took the tea and took a sip.

What the bloody hell is wrong with her?

"Mhu."

It was a weird chuckle. One that escaped her sneering lips.

"Is something wrong?" said I.

"No. No problem at all."

Huh? The tea tastes kinda familiar...

Well, she was kind enough to give me the tea so…

"Thank you Lara."

Her eyes widened and a dumbfounded noise escaped her mouth.

"Huh?"

"For helping me back at the school."

"Huh!?"

"To be honest, I don't know what I would've done without you. So…thanks," I said as I smiled.

A blush took over her.

She averted her gaze and while scratching her head, she spoke, "W-What's gotten into you all of a-," suddenly, color drained off her face, "I-I mean thanks!"

"Why are you thanking me? I have to be the one to thank you."

"R-Right! Your welcome!"

I took another bite and another sip.

"Sigh, I can't believe Aqua did that."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I told her she had daddy issues and all but isn't bullying too much?"

She gave me a wry smile.

Took another bite and another sip.

"Seriously, what the fuck? Why are the cucks so easy to thots? Why do they just take her words so blindly!? That Henry piece of shit! Actually…I'm not one to talk."

"Kazuma, calm down! You're getting too loud," she said as she glanced to the side.

"I don't care! Don't talk as if I'm drunk! I never had a beer anyway!"

"Kazuma!" she squealed in whisper.

Another bite and another sip.

I threw the fork to the table.

"Fuck! Fuck her! Fucking bitch! What a witch! Go fuck yourself you goddess of shit!"

Lara couldn't take it any longer as she came over to me and covered my mouth. So I bit her hand.

"_Hah~_ _Ehem!_ G-Get a hold of yourself!"

"Lara! Become my bitch! Become my shield! Let's go slap that witch's ass!"

"Yes! Mas- s-shut it!"

I wasn't willing to listen as I struggled in her arms.

"Let go! Let me…_hah."_

My body lost all strength, rendering me to fall flat on the couch. Then, clarity run over my head.

Déjà vu.

I turned to Lalatina, who glared at me with a flushed look. Then, a surprise took over her eyes, promptly averting them, escaping my questioning gaze.

"Lalatina…what did I just drink?"

"Uh…a perfectly normal tea?"

"For fuck's sake! There are time and place…"

*THUMP THUMP*

Strength gushed through my veins. I pushed her away and stood up. I glared at the stupid, senseless, moron of a diabolical proportion of a brainless fucking piece of shit of a bitch and saw the panic on her face but I could also see the excitement in her eyes.

With flushed cheeks and wet gaze, she whispered, "Spank me, master."

I turned to the table beside us and held the vacant chair. I saw her expectant look but I didn't care.

I just swung the chair.

Lara's face fell, not because it was heading her way. No, it went right over her head. To the glass, it flew.

*SMASH*

* * *

Stupid shutinNEET…

You're just a stupid shutinNEET. So stupid you threw yourself to a tractor…so stupid you befriended that little brat and that breathless pervert…so stupid you even forgot to buy me my phone…you even forgot to eat with me and yet you go out to eat with that pervert...I thought you ran away. I thought you will be gone forever…but you were with a girl, having fun. What do you mean sorry? How can you say sorry after saying that? You can't even say it in person…what a wimp.

Why…so late?

Stupid shutinNEET…so stupid…so cruel…I hate chocolate…I hate chocolate and I hate you! Because you're stupid and you're cruel! All you ever did was bullying me and you even did the unspeakable in that night! You're just a stupid, cruel, shutinNEET! You don't deserve my worry! Nor my attention! So get out of my head!

"Aqua, are you ok? You look sad," said the mob-leader-looking guy from my right.

"What do you mean, Mitsurego?"

"My name is Mitsurugi! Enough with your jokes, seriously. Sigh, he…apologized you know?"

"Hoho, you shouldn't be too naïve. Someone like him…surely, he must be plotting something. He is manipulative at times."

"Are you sure?"

…I want to believe he is.

"Why the doubt, Mitsurugi? Aqua was always with him. She must know about Shitzuma's evil more than anyone," said the vice-mob-leader-looking guy from my left.

"But Henry, he didn't seem to deceive us…," said Mitsugiru.

"Are you questioning her?"

"N-No! I'm not. I was just wondering…"

He must be…he must be a psychopath. I mean how can someone who slaps a lady's butt not be considered a psychopath?

Henry took a clean cup off the table and poured juice in it. Then, handed it to me.

"Here, have some."

"Thank you," I said with a smile.

Mitsuragu gave me an opened bag of chips.

"Have some potato chips as well."

"Thanks. You're both so kind."

See? You never came this close. You never gave me anything. You never showed me kindness...no! The cockroach is not counted! How can it be kindness when I ended up vomiting so much!?

Stupid shutinNEET…

With both hands, I raised the cup and placed it over my lips.

Drink it gracefully Aqua. Be as graceful as the swine…wait wasn't it swan?

I looked onto my sides through squinted eyes and saw the gawking mob-leaders.

Heh, 'tis a piece of cheese sticks for a lady like me.

Gently, wonderfully, beautifully, I placed down the cup and wiped my mouth with a handkerchief. As I wiped my mouth gracefully and elegantly, I saw a crack run across the cup…then, I felt a shiver.

Huh? Why do I have goosebumps all of a sudden?

"Aqua, come sing for us!" a female-mob-leader-looking gyaru said as she came to sit on my left, pushing away Henry.

"Sure," with a graceful smile, I said.

"Hey! Stop pushing me, Tachibana!"

I took the mic from her and went to the flashy stage.

Ahh, too small of a stage for me but I shouldn't ask for much. Should I just do some party tricks?

I cleared my throat.

"Let's go Aqua!"

"WHOHOO!"

"Encore!"

Well, let's better my mood with a song. Be grateful peasants, you are about to hear a goddessly voice.

"We are fantastic-"

*BAM*

"FIRE!"

HUH!?

"Shitzuma!?"

He stood there by the door with a fire extinguisher in hand but never mind all that! His eyes! Those eyes! They're the eyes of that night! Ferocious! Wild! Lecherous! Full of malevolence!

The boys stood up against the intruder.

"Wait! We have to listen first! Is there really a fire?" said Mitrusugi.

"What's the point of listening to a liar? There was no alarm and the sprinkler didn't even activate. He is clearly lying!" said Henry.

"…Is he saying the truth, Kazuma?"

"Fire is fire! You piece of shits are the FIRE!"

He started firing the extinguisher!

I closed my eyes and waited to be covered in powder…but I'm alright?

"You damn piece of shit!"

The whitened Henry rushed in- _gasp!_ The Vomit Spree!

"W-Wait! Urk!"

Henry stood there dumb- idiot! The effects don't kick in right away!

"Keok!"

See!? Now you're kicked in the stomach! And now you're vomiting too! Idiot! What an idiot!

All the boys that were rushing at him stopped in their tracks and the girls balled togeth- I should join them!

"Leave…or I'll spray you all with this."

Never mind! I will take my leav-

"Except you."

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?

The whitened boys and girls began leav- aren't you guys supposed to be my friends!? Don't just take Henry! Take me too Lady Tachibana!

"No. I shall never leave her side!"

Mitsura- I mean, Mitsuruge!

"Spray all you want but no matt-"

"As you wish!"

Hmph! As if that Vomit Sp- why are you using the extinguisher!?

He struggled to fight back against the blast of white but he got a punch to the face and fell to the ground without putting up much fight…then, he didn't get up.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I ran back till I hit the wall with my back. I looked left and right but there was nowhere to hide.

"Fucking bitch…!"

"HEEEEEEEKKKK!"

I tried to move…anywhere, somewhere! Some place other than here! But I tripped. I tried to get up but my legs had no strength to lift themselves…

Ha…haha, t-this is just a hallucination. The wig made it too hot for my head so it must be due to that. Yeah, definitely. I just have to close my eyes and cover my ears and wait for it go away.

"Bitch…"

Nope. Nope! I heard nothing. There is nothing!

"Aqua…"

That sounded way too close! Who am I kidding!? I was never a good hypnotist!

"No! No more…no more spanking…! No! I don't want it!"

Even though I covered my ears, I heard his last footstep right in front of me. Even though my eyes were closed, I could easily imagine the anger in his eyes…

He grabbed my arms! B-Bow! Bow and apologize before he unleashes his ferocity!

"I'm sor-"

"I'm sorry…"

...

...

...

…Hmm?

"I…I'm really sorry. Do you hate me so much that…you can't look at me at all?"

...

...

…I raised my head and opened my eyes.

I found his wet eyes…they weren't lecherous nor angry but full of remorse. There were enough tears that they were flowing…enough tears to reflect my blue eyes…

He then lowered his head. He didn't seem prepared to meet my eyes.

"I…uh…you know how I am. My mouth is quite loose…too loose. I thought it would be like any other times…I never thought it would hurt you so much," he said with a trembling voice.

He started whimpering and hiccupping but he still tried to talk.

"I…I tried to apologize earlier but I couldn't. You looked happy…and the way you looked at me…it made me think I was the worst being there is. I know…I know, I was but a horrible person for you. I even said stuff I never should have. And I also know I have no right to interrupt your…happiness"

His voice trembled. His hands…also shivered. It was as if his whole being was shaking.

He raised his head and showed me his face. It was unsightly. A woman would cover her face with powders but he covered his with liquid…different kinds of liquid. Tears streamed down his watering eyes, mucus hanged by his bubbling nose…he didn't seem to even realize the pool of drool flowing out of his shaking mouth. It was truly unsightly…but I realized I was one to talk.

"But I don't want it to end like this…!"

I was on the floor but I had to collapse even more. My eyes were too sore; I had to cover them. Something was welling within me and too much, in fact, that my lips couldn't hide them anymore.

"_Hic!"_

It was just a hiccup but it was no longer just a hiccup after the second.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Damn it, I hate that all I know is to apologize...Punch me! Yeah, kick me! Do whatever you want…"

I threw my arms and laid my head on his shoulder. He winced at first but slowly, he came to hold my back with his trembling arms.

"Aqua…I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry! You're cheapening it!"

"I…apologize."

"Idiot! Stop talking!"

I had to take a moment to breath in.

"How could you treat me so horribly all the time!? What made you think you can strip me and spank my butt!? Just where did my dad come into your insult!?

"I'm s-"

"I said, stop saying sorry!"

I had to hold him even tighter because I had to convey it with my heart.

"You have to let me say it too…I'm sorry. I'm sorry…! I shouldn't have ignored you! I shouldn't have bullied you! I shouldn't have told the whole world about you!"

"Aqua…! Wait wh-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I heard a sigh…then, he began sobbing. It wasn't long for him to start crying along.

Our clothes grew wet and our cry was loud. Even so, we felt each other's warmth and our heartbeat could be heard. I don't know how much time passed…but I don't want to ever let him go.

*GRRRRRRRRRRRR*

"Kek!"

It was a mighty sound. A sound that drummed my heart…did his heart just race!? H-His heart is racing for m-

"A-Aqua…I have to go…"

I strengthened my grip around his stomach and screamed.

"NO! Don't go! How could you leave me now!?"

"Kek!"

He began struggling.

"Aqua! Let go...I really have to go!"

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! Please don't leave me! Ah…!"

He forced away my arms and…ditched me.

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"AYE! I'm Kazuma! And looks like I'm shitting off again!"

*FLASH*

"KAZUMA!"

* * *

It was a mighty battle…a spicy one at that. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that because my eyes inadvertently landed on her spicy flavored chicken burger…which she was diligently munching at all while directing her grudge-filled-eyes at me.

"Stupid shutinNEET…"

"Sigh…I'm sorry alri-"

"Hahk!"

She snarled…alright, I get it. I won't say sorry.

"Stupid shutinNEET…what kind of treatment is this? How can you bring a lady like me to a fast-food restaurant after leaving me all alone?"

"It can't be helped. I'm too broke to bring you anywhere but."

"Why are you…right, you had to buy that chocolate…"

Then, we averted our gaze.

I just let her head run wild with imaginations because it will always be better than the truth…the truth that I bought a pair of panties for a minor. Wait…did she forget that it's just a Hershey's?

"Aren't you going to eat…?" said Aqua as she gave me a peek amidst her munching.

"Nah, don't wanna eat…what?"

I had to ask what she wanted me to do by handing me her burger.

"Eat it," she said as she stared into my eyes.

"No…," I said as I averted my gaze.

"Eat it!"

"…Don't you know that it will be an indirect kiss?"

"Wha-! W-Who cares about all that!? Do you think I care about an indirect kiss from a shutinNEET!?"

I turned back to her.

"Of course I don't tho- …you may not think much about it but I definitely would."

Even as her cheeks began to turn red, she still spoke in a high posture, "…H-Hmph! Be grateful of me for taking your virgin lips away! So eat it already!"

"Wow…oh, my first kiss was already taken, by the w-."

"When!? Who!?"

"This week's Monday from…"

Oops, I definitely shouldn't mention her. Who knows what kind of rumor she will make regarding me. Besides, it was all an accident…why is my life so full of accidents? Am I an accident as well…?

Soon, she wore a pitying look as she said, "Hmph, I guess a shutinNEET like you needs some delusion to cope with reality…you made me lose my appetite, so eat it!"

Then, she left the burger in front of me…

"Sigh…hopefully, I don't take your bacteria."

"A lady like me don't have any bacteria!"

"Sure, sure."

And I took a bite.

It wasn't all that spicy despite its name. Rather, the little spiciness it had contributed to the overall flavor…it's good for sure but I wonder if my stomach will be alrig-

Then, my eyes caught her delightful smile, brimming with joy, displaying her teeth, flowering like a sunflower…

I approached her and placed my arm around her shoulder.

"You're such a right numpty!"

She flinched at the sudden contact and a blush took over her.

"What do mean numpty!?" she said as she tried to push away my arm.

"It means lovely idiot, numpty!"

She then went still as she lowered her red head.

"Geez, what are you doing wearing a wig…," I said as I took off her wig.

"Ah!"

"You know, I like your blue hair much better than this red…piece of shit."

I put away the wig and began rubbing her head.

Huh, funny. I just removed her red wig and her head is still red.

"Oh you numpty!"

She remained quiet. Her lowered head didn't allow me to see her expression but I was able to see it painted in red…then, she shrieked.

"AHHH! Let go!"

She pushed me away and turned to me.

"Stop calling me numpty! Roachy! Or whatever! My name is Aqua and it's meant to be used! So stop calling me other than my name! …In exchange I will use your name to-"

"AQUA!"

"K-KAZUMA!"

"AQUA!"

"KAZU- why are we calling each other's name like some anime rivals!?"

"I don't know SASUKE!"

"I'm not Sasuke, KAKALOT!"

"Umm…could you guys please keep it down?" a cashier…who wasn't supposed to be here told us.

We then noticed the gazes of the others, full of smiles and laughter. My face began to burn…and surely, hers too.

We promptly left the place.

* * *

We were now walking on a brick path, heading home. It was well lit as the sun peered through the remnants of the clouds. We walked and hopped as we passed by the pools of water.

Aqua was ahead of me.

"Hey," said I.

Turning and around and facing me, she said, "What?"

"Here," I held the bag. "I think I should return it to you…I don't need it, anymore."

She averted her gaze.

"You keep it. You never stole my panties anyway. Besides, you need to have that girl on leash," she said as she shivered.

"Heh, if you say so."

Then, we resumed our pat- until I collided into her.

"Ow…what are you doing standing here?"

Without a reply, she turned around. She stood there, holding onto a piece of paper…as she sheepishly stared at me.

"Club is it? Sure, sure."

As I signed it, a string of regret pulled through my brain…but it was made obsolete by her smile. It was the perfect timing. The clouds parted and the Sun shone down onto her, rendering her jovial smile to further blossom.

Perhaps, I wasn't wrong. No, maybe, she is the kind that is happy when the Sun sets…

I placed my arm around her and rubbed her head.

"Oh you numpty!"

"Let go! And stop calling me that!"

"AQUA!"

"KAZUMA!"

"AQUA!"

"KAZU- STAHP!"

"Hahaha!"

In banter and laughter, we headed home as the Sun over there touched the mount-

"Stop right there!"

I flinched at the shout…and turned to se- yup, I'm bolting off.

"Aqua, let's go!"

"Huh!?"

"Get back here, you damn fiend! STOP! Stop so I can smash you to pieces just like the glass!"

As the angry roar of a certain masochist reverberated, we ran, running into the Sun beyond.

* * *

**Author's Note**: **FUCK YEAH!** Now that's out of the way, I want to thank you guys for reading this long ass chapter (more than 10k words btw...wow)…unless, you are one of those peculiar people who wants to read the notes first. Anyhow, yeah, a lot of things are crammed into this and I think this actually worth several chapters, not one. But welp, I just thought they had to go together.

Writing this chapter felt as though I've lost a decade worth of creativity. I already figured out the general direction this part of the story would take but fleshing is always the problem. For example, Kazuma's shenanigan with Dust wasn't planned. I actually planned to include Yunyun and Arue but it didn't happen. Heck, I never even thought about making Darkness this dramatic.

But man, writing different voice sure is hard. I don't think I came out right with Aqua's voice. Heck, I can't even voice the real Kazuma. I'm not even sure if the two voices can be differentiated!

By the way, I plan to change my writing style to actually have decent paragraphs, just like this chapter. I always thought that writing in one lines felt dumb and it made me feel as though I'm getting dumber. I had to prescribe to it because the light novel had that style. But yeah, I think I will just return to the old style.

One more thing, my life caught up to me and I have to start looking for work. It doesn't mean I will give up on this fic but I need a bit of time to adjust...meaning, the release schedule will be more unpredictable than it already is.

**LightDusk16**: Haha, good that you're enjoying so much! Anyhow, now I understand why your name is Light...because you're as fast as one! Thanks for another read.

**JamesAsmodeus**: Yup. I had to make him do the worst of things. Otherwise, I don't see any way for Aqua to hate him for real. Hopefully, you've found the outcome to your liking.

**CacciaFulmini**: HAHAHA! I hope I waste- I mean filled your time with meaningful read! Thanks too, for having fun! But seriously though, go study.

**Igenlode Wordsmith**: KEOHEOHEOK! ...Do you know what that sound is? It is the choking sound I made as I drowned in my tears. I'm not Darkness you know, nobody but her would like a torpedo to sink one's ship...but I'm the one who asked for it...anyway! Thanks! Thanks for the much needed criticism! Thanks for letting me know how Arue felt! So get a punch from me! P.S. I hope you don't read this far into the story...if you do, thanks and know that I'm just fooling with ya.

**Tip**: Don't ask for criticisms unless you're thick-skinned enough.

**P.S.** I am conflicted whether to rewrite the prologue. I'm not sure but take note because the next chapter may not be chapter 11 but the rewritten prologue.

* * *

**Notice:** I rewrote the prologue.


	12. Chapter 10-2 Time for a Good Dream!

"_Gasp!"_

What is…

"_Achoo!"_

Cold…

I stood up from the mud. My clothes were cold and wet. The night was-

*_Whooooooooo~*_

The trees made a very spooky sound.

"Mmm…"

"EEEK!"

G-Ghost! …Wait, it's Yami!

I walked up to her. The mud was too mushy and sticky. My feet dug into it, and I almost slipped.

I shook her. "Yami, wake up…"

Hot…her arm felt like a hot sweet potato. I touched her head…it just came out of the pot. Her clothes were wet. I lifted her shirt so I could squeeze it dry. But when my hands touched her belly, lava boiled my head, and I covered it fast.

"What should I…"

My head was too heavy that I almost fell down. Wait, I already did. My butt was in the mud, and I felt very cold.

"Urk!"

My back hurt too. I balled myself on the ground. It was too cold and hurtful that tears welled up.

"Mawmmee…daiddee…"

I opened my watery eyes. I thought it was Kazuto, but it was too girly even for him. The words sounded very weird too. Hot blood ran through my head. I remembered that only Yami was here.

"Don't worry," I said as I tried not to sob. "I will make sure that you will see mommy and daddy."

I stood up and dragged my body. It isn't the time to cry, I thought to myself, but I couldn't stop the tears. I wiped them off because it was too girly for Yami to see…but my eyes became wet again.

Wait…_sniff_, I can't even see Yami's face. So how can she see me crying?

I wished I could transform like some saiyans and carry her with my arms. But I wasn't angry enough so I had to carry her on my painful back.

_Sniff_, you can do it Kazuma! Goku will never give up!

I felt much better and left the rock. The grass twinkled, and the air warmed my body. The full moon was very bright. But…

*_Whooooooooo~*_

The trees didn't like the moon. They didn't allow the moonlight to enter. I barely saw the trees in the dark, waving its branches…inviting me.

"_Gulp."_

Kazuma, don't worry. If some monster comes, you just have to raise your arms and call for help, then throw the spirit bomb!

"_Cha-la head-cha-la!"_

I felt my heart go hot, and it burned, burning hotter than a piece of sweet potato! Even though I didn't feel any sign of turning into a super saiyan, I felt I had the power to face any monster.

"_No matter what happens, I feel like it's no big deal!"_

That's right! No big deal! Ghosts! Monsters! Come! I will show you my true strength!

"…_there's a surprise hidden somewhere, and I wanna find i-"_

*Rustle*

"EEEEKK! Wait! I actually don't want…? Is that a weasel? _Wheww." _I lowered my arms.

Was I too loud? Because Yami woke up.

"Mmm…daiddee?" she whispered into my ear, then rubbed her cheek on my shoulder. "Ah'm sae wabbit an cauld. Fit wey is it sae dark…Daiddee? Hou came ye are sae sma?"

"Uh…I'm not your daddy."

"...Scunner!?"

She raised her head but fell right after. She stopped moving and sobbed.

"Ughh…_sniff_. Daiddee…daiddee…!"

"D-Don't worry! I will make sure you see your da-"

*_Whooooooooo~"_

"EEEEEEEKKK!"

"WAAAAAAA!"

Kazuma! Wake up! You're the man here! You have to comfort her!

"Yami! I love you! I will protect you forever! I will make sure you see your daddy!"

"WAAaa? Wat?"

"I said, I love you! I will pro…look! Fireflies!"

"Fireflies!? Whaur!? Whaur!?"

WOW! Fireflies! They looked like green stars, but they didn't blink like my broken Game Boy! They waved hands at me so I waved back! This is the first time I saw them, but I love fireflies!

"Pre'ee…"

"Free? Yeah, it's free! Watch all you want!"

"…I…said…pre-tty."

"Wow! You can talk! ARRGGH!"

Yami bit me!

"_HAHK! HAK! HAHHK!"_

"AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"

Everyone! Please lend me your strength to stop this monster! Wait, don't! She is Yami! Not some monster! Don't let me kill her!

"KAZUMA!"

"ARG- Dad!?"

"_Mmm?" _Yami made a weird noise while nibbling at my shoulder.

"KAZUMA! Where are you!?"

A light moved in the dark. It moved so fast and so wild that the fireflies went away…aww.

"KAZUMAAAA!"

"DAAAD! Don't come! You're driving away the fireflies!"

The fireflies escaped the light, and the monster came out of the dark.

"Don't talk…nonsense…," the monster said while breathing heavily.

Power up! Punch!

"Why did you hit me? And who's that on your back?"

"Shut up, evil creature! Kek!"

He just hit my head!

"I said, enough with your nonsense…Sigh, at least, you're fine." He looked at my back. "So, who are you?"

Yami finally removed her teeth.

"M-My…name…is…Ya-"

"She is Yami, and she is my wife! ARGH!"

Everyone! Lend me...no, don't! Why is Yami acting like a dog!?

"Child's play, huh." My dad held my arm, and he looked very surprised. And then, he touched my head. "Hot…let's get you home quick."

Hot? Oh yeah, I was actually having a cold. But Yami, can you stop biting me already? Aren't you supposed to have a fever? Oh, thanks dad for taking Yami.

"And you're even hotter…Yami…Yanami? Are you Takao's daughter?"

Even though my dad held back Yami, she tried to reach me like a wild animal. "_Hah! Hahk! Ha…" _She stopped and became a human again. She turned to my dad. "Huh? Wat?"

"…Are you Takao's daughter?"

"Daiddee? …Aye! Ah'm- I…mean…ye-"

"Dad! I think she is sick. She can't speak human- EEEK!"

"_HAHHK!"_

"I'm not sure if you two are close or not…"

What are you saying, dad? We love each other. Just like how I really love fried chicken. It must be…it definitely is a show of love. So Yami, calm down. You will have many more chances to bite me later…let me just wear a helmet. Oh? It looks like her power ran out. Frieza's 100% was short, so was for Yami.

"YANAMEE!"

What was that? Oh it's another light.

"Daiddee? Daiddee!"

Never mind, he's my new father.

"TAKAO! She's here!"

The trees were very disturbed as a tiger roared.

"WHAAUUUUUURRRrrr…"

A scary man came out of the darkness. He looked very scary…but cool! I want to have that scar over my eye! I will make sure to have those muscles too!

Yami jumped out and ran to my father.

"Daiddeeee!" A flower bloomed.

"Yanameeee!" A tiger growled.

They hugged, and the spooky disappeared…?

"…Dad, why are there so much flowers around them? And why is it so bright?"

"Son, that is called a touching reunion."

"Huh? Then, why didn't we have one?"

"We would've had one only if you didn't hit me right off the bat."

It's not like I wanted a hug…but really, where did all the flowers come from? Why are there none around us?

"YANAMEE! Ye ha'e a fe'er!"

"Ehehe! Ah'm fein! 'Cause yer heer!"

"Yanamee…!"

I think I can almost understand what they are saying…Anyway, it's good that she is smiling. So cute.

"Yami!" I said, and she turned to me as the flowers went away. I smiled. "I told you right? You'll definitely see your daddy!"

Yami puffed her red cheeks and looked away.

"Yanamee, wha's thes?"

"Hmph! Ma boi freend."

…? What? What did she just say? B-B-Boy frieeeeeeeeend!? I-I-

"IIIYAHO-" *BAM* "-Oooo…"

T-T-T-Tiger! Where did it come from!? Wait, it's my father…H-He is definitely welcoming me! Right!? Right…?

"Lad…"

"EEK! Y-Yes! What is it, father-"

*BAM*

Oh, I thought it was some log…but it was his arm, punching the tree behind me.

"FAITHER!? WHA YER CAWING FAITHER!?"

"EEEEEEEE-"

"Hey…," dad! I-I mean, said my dad. He pulled me behind him. "Don't be so childish, threatening my young son…your head might get lopped off."

"Huh? Wau's heid gaunna get auffed? TREI ME YA BAWBAG!"

Whoa! The tiger and the dragon are about to fight-

"Daiddee set!"

"WOOF!"

…not. The tiger went on all fours, and Yami sat on him.

"Daiddee, deh be sich a nawty dug."

"Woof! Woof! Heh heh heh!"

I blinked a few times as I saw Yami pouting on top of him…

"Dad, are they playing horse ride?"

"...I hope so."

Is he Cell? He just became worse…wait, he did not spit Android 18. So why did he become so weak?

"Yami-"

"_ROAR!"_

"EEEK!"

Oh yeah, I forgot! Cell returned stronger!

"Daiddee set! Set!"

Cell became weak again…

"Yami…," I said as I saw Cell glaring at me. "Umm, about what you said a while ago...that I'm your boyfriend…"

She turned into a tomato and quickly looked away. "A-Aye, whut aboot that?"

"Wow, I actually understood that!"

"_HAHHK!"_

"Wait! I'm now your boyfriend so give me a kiss! Not a bi-"

…

What's this on my cheek? It's so soft and warm…

I looked at Yami. I mean, all I could see was her leafy eyes.

"H…"

"H?"

"_HAAAHHHKKK!"_

"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"

Everyone! Lend me your…I-I mean, pray for me so I can get used to it!

"RAARJSAOFSANFDIFJDDSPVMDDON!"

"I understand where you're coming from…but calm down…! Don't worry, I will teach him not to go over the line…if he does without marriage, I will be the first to bury him."

Dad! Daad! Oh wait, he is fighting the trees-flying, groundbreaking fight! AARRRGGHHH! Right! Beauty and the Beast! It worked! Even though all I kissed was her head, she stopped biting me like a beast! Wait, if she's the beast…I don't want to be the beauty! Let's just change the title. The Handsome and the Beast. Sounds much better!

"RAO$!F"}(AG&3adWEV!"

"…I will keep great watch! So calm down!"

Looking at the tomato girl beside me, I smiled. I put my arm around her shoulder.

"Yami, let's go on a date tomorrow."

"…A-Aye."

"What?"

"_H-_ …Yes."

My smile became wider like it could reach my ears. Even though it was still cold, and my back still hurt, my chest felt very warm…actually, it's very hot. Am I getting sick? It's hotter than when I first saw Yami! Is this love? What am I thinking? I already said I love her! I really do. I don't think I will ever love her biting, but there will be a way right? My tomato girlfriend? Ah, why are you so cu-

"Timeout."

Huh? Who's that? He's got the same black hair and black eyes as mine…why does he look so familiar?

"What kind of bullshit is this?"

"Hey!" I said. "No cursing! Cursing is only for bad kids!"

"Enough with your generic narration," said I. "Heh, bad kid? I sure fucking am."

Seriously though, what bullshit is this? This never happened. What trees-flying, groundbreaking fight? This isn't some Dragon Ball. I mean, c'mon, the fight never happened. How about the kiddie kiss? Not from that bitch, and thank God, it never happened.

…What a great delusion I'm trying to conjure up.

"Hey! Don't steal my narration!"

"Shut up, your time is up. Sigh, I have to make you remember the truth."

"Truth? What truth!?"

"Stop yapping, you noisy ass. Alright, skip back to...maybe about thirty-seven paragraphs. Hmm, 'She turned into a tomato and quickly looked away…' Alright, you wanted your narration back? You can have it back."

"Wha-"

…Ah. Ah, ah. Thought test, thought test. There! It's ba-

"Daiddee set! Set!"

What…? Oh yeah, he said something about skipping back…

"Yami…," I said without control. "Umm, about what you said a while ago...that I'm your boyfriend…"

Yami turned into a tomato...what is the point of this? Nothing's chang- ...blood ran down her nose, then her head fell on the hide. She didn't move at all. The tiger carefully put down his cub and...

*BANG*

Good thing I ducked or else I would be in his teeth…

"Kazuma...! You damn Yakuza!"

I ran away while his teeth were stuck in the tree. My dad went to the tiger as I ran for Yami to take care of he-

"Kek!"

What was that? What just hit my head? Some kind of ball? Somehow I have a bad feeli-

*BUZZ*

What is that sound? Is someone's phone vibrating on a table? Huh? What's this thing on my face?

_Hello darkness, my old friend~_

Ah, shit.

"Kek…"

It felt like a doctor's needle…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

"_Hic!"_ I hiccupped as my view was covered in eternal darkness…no. "WAAAAAAAAAAA-" No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOO-

...

I gave a fine salute to the young me's noble sacrifice. It was a good show and an excellent reminder that redheads are a symbol of misfortune.

Now then, I should wake up. The bees are too spooky.

* * *

I opened my eyes. Is this the time to gasp like I usually do? Never mind, I already did. Wait, it was actually…a…sneeze…

"_Achoo!"_

Damn, it's cold. Will my father…my biological father ever repair the window? Of course not. Even saying to bury me if I ever went over the line…what kind of father are you!? Wait, it's my made up fantasy. _Ehem. _Don't worry, I will never go over the line with…that…bitch…

"_Achooo!"_

But really, my father should repair the window because I'm freezing in here! Huh…? Why is the curtain open? Kazuto? Did that brat play a pran-

"_Achoo!"_

…Let me get my tape.

I taped around the edges, in hope of blocking the wind…I should use more cloth. I proceeded to obey my thought and blockaded the window even further.

Ah, much better. Now, I just have to use more blanke-

"_Achoo!"_

It seems it's not enough, but what else can I do? Either I beg my cold-eyed family or suck it all up…but at least, I don't have to see her cold eyes again. Her eyes are best if they shine in condescending, greedy light…not. I'd rather see her eyes tremble in tears and beg for my help or forgiveness…not. I guess, I just love her smil- I mean, I feel nothing of her smile. I just prefer it over the former two…really.

Despite the cold of the wind and of my family, I slept quite soundly. Maybe, I couldn't wait to see Aqua…or did I just obeyed my instinct to refill my energy? To face the storm of hers tomorrow that is.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey sup guys! I'm late! But listen, I have a good reason. That's because I spent a whole month rewriting the prologue (8,400 words)...only to rewrite it in three days (1,600 words)...damn.

Anyway, hope you guys liked what I did here. I changed the young Kazuma's voice to sound more childish but I think I went overboard with the Dragon Ball reference (which I'm too lazy to change). At least, you guys now know why the Kazuma in this story hates bees.

Anyanyway, yeah it's short. Sorry.

**Nhehvnukl:** Actually, Dust was kind of nice to Kazuma after experiencing the bullshit of his party. But yeah, I'll admit that he was kinda OC. I didn't read his side of the lightnovel so I'm not really sure what he is like.

**LightDusk16:** Aw mate, I expected much more from you...jokes aside, thanks for the compliments! It's kind of odd for me that you saw Aqua's repeatition of 'shut-in-neet' in that way because I thought it was her usual way to talk. But yeah, I will see if I'm repeating anything too much.

**TheSonOfSovietYunion: **Yeah! A harem is something that needs to be earned! I mean, getting a single girlfriend already needs work so why is it depicted to be comparatively similar or even easier to get a harem!? Not for me, at least. Kazuma will roll and roll and roll and roll until he gets a harem...or even one girl.


	13. Chapter 11 Sports Fest with a BANG! (1)

"Who's got the biggest boobs?"

At my question, Dust grinned. "Wiz."

"Of course! Why am I even asking something so obvious that it's engraved into my eyes…," I paused and stared deep into his smug face. "But, can it be done?"

"My, oh my, Mr. Kazuma, look who you're talking to." He pointed his thumb to his very punchable face. "I'm the real deal when it comes to this stuff."

"But you fail-"

He stretched his hand, forcing me to stop. "Nope. It was just a little miscalculation," he said as he brought out his note and opened it. It was a small note, but it was filled with numbers and letters. "The girls should have still been there until 1:10 PM, exactly ten minutes after the end of lunchbreak, but for some reason, the girls finished changing clothes three minutes too early…I guess, my note is due for an upda- kugh!"

Dust fell onto the dust like the dust he was due to the broom that came flying out of nowhere. I turned to where it came from, and my eyes caught onto the beast just in front of the warehouse. The lass, the psycho, the maniac, Megumin stood there, ready to explode any time now...

"HOW DARE YOU!" After the initial blast, she began trembling and said, "…I shouldn't be here. I should be back at the dorm, on the other side of this hill. Yet, you came to me, a young, poor lass for labor! How dare you! You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words...yet, I'm supposed to be one of the chosen ones. People are sleeping! People are growing! And my fucking growth spurt is plummeting! Imma flipping blow up the whole world!" She heaved and continued, "All you can talk about is women and schemes of satisfying your lust…how dare yo-"

"Oh shut yer trap, ya angsty twat."

"Twat!?" After her reflexive shout, she lowered her head, covering her eyes under her bangs. Her fists trembled as did her body. Like a spring undone, she raised her head and glared at me. "This is the reason! You are the reason why I feel visceral anxiety every day!"

I shook my head in disapproval. "Someone your age is getting shot in Hong Kong for freedom. Yet, here you are being such a puss…If you feel visceral anxiety every day, you shouldn't come to school. You should go see a doctor." I faced the other side, out of her view and secretly but not so secretly, whispered, "A doctor in mental hospital should be appro-"

"DORYAAAA!"

"Kek!"

A drop kick, eh!? Let me show you what true gender equalist…Wiz?

Looking up her black heels, I found Wiz staring down at me, giving me a sharp gaze that questioned the absurdity of this situation that a man fell to the ground due to the little girl's drop kick. Truly, 'what the hell is going on?' was written in her eyes.

I gave a voluntary cough and stood up. With a fresh smile, which I'd like to think as such, I greeted her. "What brings you here, Wiz?"

Her dumb hair stood, and she growled, "Wiz…?"

Shit!

"I-I mean Lady Wi- R-Right, lady sounds too ol-" I had to stop before her dumb hair shadowboxing on top her. "Ms. Wiz. Yup. Ms. Wiz. So Swiss Miss, what brought yo-" my instinct slapped my mouth.

Guards up! Who knows what she might…

She sighed. I was glad that it was an expression of disapproval without violence. "I told you to clean the warehouse, and here you are playing outside…" Even so, her eyes ground to blades. "You-"

_*I fell down and grazed myself…*_

The ringtone was a heaven-sent. Needless to say, heaven's providence was much more important than earthly matters. Therefore, said I, "Sorry, there's a call," then answered the phone.

[Finished! I'm done cleaning the warehouse.]

A cheerful voice flowed out.

"Done? Great."

[That little brat didn't do much and is already playing outside. She should learn from me a thing or two.]

"…Right." I sneaked a peek at Wiz, and was immediately made blind by her beams. "L-Let's talk later, I'm busy."

[Huh!? You didn't even give me a proper prai-]

After I closed the call, I gave a bright, sweaty smile to Ms. Wiz. "So, where did we left off?"

She gave a sigh and sheathed her blades. "I hope you four contributed fairly to the completion."

"W-We did. Dust and I sorted the heavy stuffs, and the girls dusted the floor and the equipments…although I'm not sure whether Megumin contributed her part," said I as I peeked at Megumin.

Her face told me everything of her surprise and panic, coupled with the momentary rage that was promptly overwritten with a forced smile.

"H-He is lying. I did a wonderful job. Yeah, I even dusted the ceiling!"

"Ceiling? We don't need to do that. Besides, you're too much of a shrimp to- kek!"

I fell to the ground. It wasn't Megumin for it was too strong of a force for her to muster. Wiz? No, it wasn't as powerful. Huh, another broom…then it must be…

I turned to the entrance and, sure enough, found Aqua poking herself out the door with her outstretched arm. Noticing my eyes, she was startled and quickly buried herself.

_*I fell down and grazed myself…*_

"Hello?"

[ShutinNEE-]

_*I fell down and grazed myself. Blood oozes…*_

[Don't you close it, you shut-]

…

_*I fell down and grazed myself. Blood oozes out and…*_

[Don't close the phone! …I-I'm sorry for throwing the broom…and calling you a NEET. But it's your fault for not even giving me a proper praise!]

"Sigh."

Did she seriously throw a broom just for that? But I guess, that's Aqua for you.

"Thanks Aqua, you did a great job."

[Hehe! I know right?]

"Right…Hey, I'm still busy. So can we talk later?"

[Sigh, what shall I do with you? If you make time during lunch, I think I might be alright with it.]

"Sure, let's eat together."

[Wha-! I-I didn't say anything like tha-]

Even after all that, she's still the same. But…it's not so bad. Hmm? Why is Ms. Wiz smiling?

"It's a good thing that you two made up."

Oh…Heh.

"Yeah, it is. But it suuuuure was difficult. That Aqua was such a…sigh, but it was worth it."

"Made up with who?" said Megumin. "Aqua? You fought with her?"

"Oh, just some adult matters…"

"Are you saying I'm too young to hear it? What? Did you two have sex or something?"

"Huh!? As i- kek!"

A gust of death aura slapped my head, accompanied by a beam of disgust…and hatred? Anyway!

"There was no such thing! Right!? My virgin boy?"

'Right! Right!' my virgin boy agreed. 'I'm still single! I never kissed! I never pew-pewed inside anyone! This is an outrageous claim to the highest degree!'

What highest degree!? It ain't that outrageous…

The death aura dissipated and the beam was cast aside as her dumb hair picked the signal. Seemingly baffled, she turned around...but I saw her red cheeks before they were hidden.

"Why get so worked up over a simple joke? This is why virgins are…"

"What kind of joke is that!? This is why sluts are…" Oh yeah, why is Ms. Wiz here? I proceeded to ask her exactly that while ignoring the little, glaring bitch beside me, "Ms. Wiz, why did y-"

"Ummm…"

Postponing my query, I traced the source of the voice and found Dust opening his eyes.

"Where am I? Who…am I?"

Amnesia? Seriously, another one?

"Cut it out, Dust," said I as I approached him. "Stand up like a man."

"M-Man!?" said Dust with an obnoxiously high tone. "I'm not a man! I'm a woman!"

"…Pardon?"

"I'm a woma- HEY!"

I dropped my foot and stopped just above his manhood as I gave him a meaningful stare, 'Cut out the bullshit or I'll turn you into a real woman.'

His eyes that trembled so much turned sharp. 'Just play along, dipshit! Don't you see the big picture?'

'Big picture…? _Gasp! _Don't tell me…!'

Dust broke into a grin, 'Yes.'

'You fearsome man…'

'Man? No, I'm a woman.' Dust held out his hand. 'So, deal? Or not?'

I gripped her hand and stared into her, 'Deal,' then pulled her up.

* * *

Dust's little act couldn't fool Ms. Wiz, not before her dumb hair. Megumin kicked her when she got near. Only Aqua, as gullible as she is, or perhaps, due to her belief, supported Dust.

As of now, however, Aqua, Ms. Wiz, and I went for the student council room. Why? Because we were forc-**RESET**\- asked to volunteer for the preparation of the sports fest. It was already that time of the year, October, with the sports fest on Friday, three days later, yay. Fuck! Why do I have to get involved in preparing for the event!? Oh yeah, it's because of a certain tyra-**RESET**\- saint…

"Hey…," said I as I peeked back at Aqua.

Startled, Aqua spun around and began walking backwards as she said, "W-What is it?"

"How long will you be smitten with me? So much so that you can't see my face?"

""HUH!?""

Aqua turned around with a frown over her red face. And for some reason, I felt the cold death rays of a certain wit-**RESET**\- teacher striking my head.

"S-S-Smitten!? W-With you!? I think you should go to the clinic because you must be sick!"

"You know, it's not so convincing when you're saying all that while looking away." Chin up with a smirk, I continued, "Try saying that again while looking at my face."

"Hmph! You think I can't do that, you shu…jerk!"

Aqua turned to face me, peering into me with her blue eyes. Lips pressed tight, tears swelling by, and face boiled in red, I was utterly shocked. Her beauty was hardly appreciable…but now, my cheeks grew quite hot.

"Y-You think I'm s-smitten with…" she trailed off after I accidentally, definitely an accident, looked away. "Hhmmph! Get off your high horse, you stupid shutinNEET! You're the one who fell head over heels in love with me!"

"D-Don't be ridiculous! T-There's no way in hell that I would fall in love with a subwoman like you!"

"You damn NEET, say that again!"

"Why not!? You-"

"Yes," said Wiz beside me as she stared into me so close that she could kiss my cheek. "Why don't you look into my eyes and say what you ought to?"

Huh? Did I unknowingly push her button again? Definitely, without a shadow of a doubt. After all, there's proof right before me, that is her lifeless eyes...

"R-Right! Let's not waste time and head to the student council room!"

I scurried away, and Aqua followed suit, saying, "Don't leave me!"

I still felt the death rays of a certain devi-**RESET**\- angel, but I pressed on as if my life depended on it. Actually, it did depend on it! I couldn't endure the pressure and ran! But why do I hear her footsteps closing in!?

"NOOOO-"

"I said, don't leave me!"

"Huh? Ah-!"

*Bomp*

…

…Despite my dire need to escape a certain bea-**RESET**\- woman, despite the pain that wracked my head, and despite the absurdity of the positions we were in, but definitely am glad to be in, I had to say it.

"Thank you."

Thank you, Aqua, for being so off guard and naïve that you would allow your boobs to rest on my chest…shake it would ya? But seriously, she jumped from behind so how did we end up in this position? Not that I'm complaining.

"Oww…stupid shutinNEET, this is what you get when you ignore…what's with that face?"

Oh, just the face of a gentleman before the generosity of a slu- I mean, lady. Rather, "Don't mind me."

"Come again?"

"Don't…," I trailed off as I saw the looming retribution. I just grinned and bore it. "Oh, nothing. My time has come."

Aqua raised a brow, still clueless. "What?"

Looking to the side, my eyes caught onto the mons-**RESET**\- nutca-**RESET**\- psych-**RESET**\- …Wi-**RESET**\- Ms. Wiz.

"KEK!"

I flew, head first. It was quite a big surprise that I didn't lose my consciousness despite the inhumane amount of restraint she put on that punch. Then, I ran into a wall, head first, and fell to the ground with it…does a wall fall too? Huh, it's not a wall; it's a valley!

"HUUUUUUUUUFF."

So fragrant…wait, why did I do that? Wait! This is not a val-

"Ky- ky- ky-"

What creature is making that noise? Oh…

"Hi Eris."

"Kyaaaaaaa!"

"Argh!"

Eris, the landlady of the manmade valley, attempted to push me away from her artificial boobs, but it wasn't enough. My arms already wrapped her before I knew it, even before I huffed. She couldn't do anything as she watched on with horror and tears. Therefore, I resumed my field research.

"HUUUUUUUUUUUFF."

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

"HUUUUUU- KEK!"

I flew again, head first. Too engrossed in my research, I forgot about my ongoing doom. Even though the whole Andromeda revolved around my head, I didn't loss the clarity of mind nor did I fail to catch onto Yunyun, to whom I was flying to, heading to a door.

So I screamed, "GET OUT!"

Frightened, Yunyun turned to see me soaring her way. "HEEEEEK!" shrieking like that was all she could do as she shut her eyes.

Shit! I know how this is gonna end up. I will fall on top of her and engrave her scent into my nose. Quite a good treat that's for sure, but she's fourteen. Four-teen! The luna-**RES…does it even matter at this point?**-tic would kill me! Wait, wouldn't it be justified, since I'll be a monster by then? 'How about Eris?' my conscience may ask, but there is absolutely nothing so it's fi-

"KEK!"

I flew even further, head first. I can't believe she caught up to me, a nice, flying ragdoll, and landed a flying kick! What is this, Iron Fist!? I'm not sure if I should be amazed or mad, or even thankful that she prevented me from landing on the brat…but damn, why does the door have to be opened right now?

"Kyak!"

I didn't saw whom I landed on, but I can tell. Give her some time, then she can fight boob to boob with Wiz!

"HUUUUUU-"

"Ngh!"

…What was that?

I traced the voice up the valley, and there sat a scarlet mist. Sultry moan escaped her mouth. Her damp eyes were purple yet seemed to glow in red like the air she exuded. They quivered, afraid. She wanted to look away from the horror before her, but she didn't. She couldn't. She was too curious, wanting, to lift her eyes off me.

'I…I can't…hold on…,' said my boy in distress. 'I…I can't…hold…! RAAAAAAAWWWWWW! IMMA KNOCK HER U-'

"KEK!"

My eyes almost popped out due to the disgusting amount of strength she put on her iron grip. She twisted my head with irresistible force…and my boy died down. The devil, the face of the devil. It blew cold air through its fangs. Its blades blasted vermilion death rays as its hair flapped wildly, despite the absence of wind…

I had to quickly look away from the cursed face, lest I risk my sanity. Then, my eyes caught onto Aqua, staring at me with utter disgust. Further to the side was Yunyun on the floor, sobbing. She was comforted by Eris, who herself was in tears. Lastly, there were murmurs from the room.

"Kazuma…," a growl, likened to rusty irons grating against each other, scraped through its throat. "Prepare to die."

"…Yes," was all I could say because there was no point. I couldn't resist it nor was there any suppo-

"Wait!"

A light pierced through the proverbial dark clouds and shone upon me a ray of hope. The woman, whom I knocked down, stood up. She adjusted her long, black hair and donned triangular glasses, which, to be honest, made her look like an angry cat lady.

Despite the tint of red still on her face, she cleared her throat and said, "This isn't fair."

"Hmm?" the devil growled. "What isn't fair?"

"I meant what I said. That lecherous man still deserves a fair treatment."

"I don't under-"

"Look," she said as she pointed at me. "His uniform is quite roughed up, and his cheek is red…someone must have struck it."

Ms. Wiz regained her humanity. "That's because…," she couldn't continue, perhaps, reminded of what started it all, which was undeniably her unreasonable violence. Then, she escaped her questioning look. Sweat began running down her head as her grip lost strength. Her dumb hair spun in place, probably the manifestation of her long sought desire to become an unfettered attack helicopter that she already was.

"Judging from your reaction, you don't seem to be all that innocent."

"You're absolutely right!" said I. "This shameless woman started punching me for no apparent reason! And forced me to knock you down!"

"How about me!?" cried Eris. "She's not the only o-"

"Shut up, flat!"

"F-Flat!? I-I'm not-"

"Just how much of a disservice will you be doing to your future baby!? I bet you would have hard time breastfeeding since you don't have an ounce of breast!"

I delivered the conclusion of my findings, and it was critically effective. Her eyes lost light as her knees gave in. She hugged her knees and whispered nonstop, "I'm flat. I don't deserve a baby. I'm flat. I don't deserve a baby. I'm flat…"

Yunyun fidgeted before Eris as she mumbled to herself, "Would she like someone like me to comfort her? S-She hugged me when I cried so I have to return her kindness…but! What if she becomes ostracized for associating with me?"

Aqua came to Eris' side. "Actually, women with smaller breasts have easier time breastfeeding." Light returned to Eris' ey- "But I'm not sure for flats." Her eyes returned to abyss.

The cat lady pinched her nose bridge, and her wrinkled brows reflected her headache. Wiz was still preparing to take-off. As for me, though late, I felt a tiny regret.

I probably shouldn't have said that…

* * *

"There!" Aqua cheered as she finished bandaging my head. She stood from her seat and stretched her arms.

"Didn't know, you knew medical stuff."

"Well, unlike a certain violent woman, I'm a very caring person…," she said as she turned to her side, where Wiz stood in gloom.

Wiz flinched at our attention. Her propeller began spinning as she struggled to meet my eyes. At her display of anti-social behavior, I simply sighed.

"I forgive you."

Wiz's dumb hair stood straight, and she turned to me with a surprised look.

"Well, I had my faults and all so I-"

"What gives you the right to forgive?"

Tracing the voice, I found the cat lady standing beside Wiz. She gave me a rather cold stare, quite in contrast to her previous, lustful gaze.

"Pardon?"

"You said it yourself. You had faults…fault is an understatement because what you did to us is considered a crime!"

"Ugh…" I looked away and whispered, "Says the cat in heat…"

"What!? Cat in heat? What makes you say th-"

"Wiz…oh, I mean Ms. Wiz." I ignored the ensuing shriek of a certain cat and continued, "I think the school's about to start. We'll take our leave."

After Wiz's nod, I went for the door, but the cat lady shrieked even further, "Satou Kazuma!" which stopped me. "Take another step, then I will list your crime in the school's news!"

I turned around and said, "And about how you were like 'Ngh! Yeah!'?"

"Hah!?" she shrieked as her face flushed. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Ngh! Yame…," I canceled my reenactment as Aqua tugged at my sleeve.

"Ignore her and let's go. I don't want to be in the same room with the spinster and the soon-to-be-spinster."

Whoa, Aqua can be savage at times. I wonder if she can handle their ang-

"Come on, let's go. I might catch their spinster-virus…," she trailed off as she noticed the presence of grudge. It caught onto Aqua's arm, and she let out what seemed to be an accurate representation of her realization, "Ah-"

I saluted Aqua as I saw her being devoured by unending darkness. Amidst her scream, I opened the door and went out- "Satou Kazuma!" but the cat stopped me.

I turned back and saw her half, a mist of darkness, devouring Aqua. The other half, her normal self, said, "My name is Sena Clark. As you should already know, I'm the current student council president. I order you to visit the student council room later on lunch."

"…Ok."

Then, I went out. Other times, I would have denied her order, but her eye…her eye had glowed in murderous red.

"KAAAAAAZUUUUUMAAAAAAA!"

After a brief thought, I decided to ignore that and went to the room.

* * *

"Urf…!"

Shit! I almost barfed. It was my guttural reaction to the figure before me, Dustette. Long blond wig with a touch of makeup, he made himself quite a beauty, but knowing who's inside, it only resulted in my primal disgust. Hence, I refused to label him as a she for I would vomit for sure. And as such, I had nothing short of a scorn for the boys who stared longingly at Dustette like a fish eyeing for the bait.

"_Sniff, _uuuuuu_."_

I really wonder what Aqua saw in that darkness. Ever since she returned three periods late, she couldn't stop sobbing through the fourth period until now, minutes before lunch.

Wiz wrote at the board with ferocity. It seemed as though the board killed her parents. Nobody had any courage to ask her why the first three classes were done by substitute teachers. But…

"Why is Ms. Wiz Mad?"

"What the hell happened to Dust?"

"They said he hurt his head and…"

"Why is Aqua crying so much? Is it him? I thought those two made up…"

Despite the devi-**RESET**\- angelic hostility, people couldn't stop themselves from questioning the absurd situation before them. Nevertheless, the curiosity killed the cat. Those who opened their mouths were forced to shut them up as they were smacked by chalk bolts, followed by death rays. However, they weren't the only ones who received her crushi-**RESET**\- revitalizing rays…

"HEEK!"

Aqua didn't see it but felt it. She covered her mouth to silence her sob- "_Hic!"_ but she couldn't.

"Hey, stop crying or Wiz will…," I trailed off as she stared at me with hatred.

"_Sniff _I told you no- _hic _not to leave me…_sniff."_

I averted my gaze, and couldn't return a word as I was reminded of the events just a few days past.

"…Just buy me something at the café later," said Aqua as she looked away, her whimper now stopped.

I released a sigh and said, "Sorry but I'm broke."

"HUUUH!?" Aqua shouted while turning back. "Aren't you a man!? Can't you even pay for a lady's forgiveness!?"

"What kind of lady would ask for money for forgive-"

"Kek!" with a rather pathetic yelp, her head flung back, and her body followed. But before she fell, I caught her. Then, a pause. For fear of tickling her mouth, I had to hold my breath. As her fragrance wafted into my nose, I couldn't take my eyes off her blue-**WARNING**\- I threw back my head.

*Bang*

A close call. A second late, then my head would have been hit by that chalk…? Wait, it's a knife. A real knife! I almost died!

"Oww!"

Oh…in my desperate evasion, I forgot to hold on to Aqua, and now she was writhing on the floor.

*RING*

"_Tch!"_

As the lunch bell rang, Wiz sheathed her real blades. Her death rays swept the room and settled on me. Without seeing me freaking out, she left the room.

There was now silence, a cold, cold silence. Even though I was the one who should be shitting his pants, everyone seemed to be doing it for me instead.

Dustette was the only one who stood up. "La lala lala~" It was a horrid hum, but some boys seemed to think otherwise. He left the room with a large bag.

"So, how long will you be on the floor?"

Aqua stopped wriggling and pouted. "Can't you even lend a hand?"

"There," said I as I complied. "Let's go eat already. We still have to go to the student council room."

"Hmph."

She took my hand and stood up. By now, the classmates began moving and they went where they went. We too went where we went.

* * *

Father, you don't give me much allowance, which frankly, barely allows me to commute, even so, thank you. Mother, your cooking is good, very good, but for some reason, I couldn't taste it lately. I wish to taste it again. Kazuto, you shitty brat, I should've given a good smack to the head, but now, I no longer can…

"Urk…"

A flash. My eyes were used to the dark. A simple flash was enough to blind me momentarily. I tried to move, but my body was tied to a chair. All I could move was my head.

"Satou Kazuma," a cold voice pierced into me like icy spikes, laden with hate. "What is your name?"

She was a woman. No matter how deep or cold the voice was, she just couldn't hide the tiny warmth.

"Pftt, you just said it, bitch- kek!"

After punching right in my cheek, she said, "What is your name?"

"Is your fist made of water? It barely left a scratch. Heh, this is why women should never leave the kit- ARGH!"

Was that a bat!? She just swung a bat at my leg! What kind of psycho would do that!?

No matter how much I screamed, she didn't seem to mind it. "What is your name?"

After much restraint, said I, "…Satou Kazuma."

"What is your sin?"

Huh? What sin? I have too much in mind to even-

*Wheeze*

It was a sharp swing. If she landed it, it would result in a good homerun.

"I have no patience for wasting time. Again, what is your sin?"

"…Not attending school in the past?" There was no reply. "U-Umm, accidentally stealing panties?"

"That's one."

One? So she knows more?

"Umm, making a girl your pet?" There was no reply. "How about slapping a girl's ass?" Still none. "Oh I know! I shittalked about a girl's hopes and dreams!"

There was a brief silence, then new voices joined in.

"What a horrible man…"

"You perverted reprobate!"

"I don't want to be in the same room with this hormonal beast!"

Ouch…I suspected there to be more people, but why are they all women? Heck, just how many of them are in here!?

"You enemy of women…," said the frosty voice. Soon after, I felt a cold touch at my chin. It was the bat. She raised my chin and said, "You'd better be honest, scum. This girl you speak of…is she Lady Eris?"

"Huh? Eris? What do you- kek!"

She slapped my other cheek and said, "I'm asking whether you made Lady Eris your pet; slapped her butt; and burned her hopes and dreams…"

"Huh? No- KEK!"

She just struck my chest! With the bat!

"_Cough! Cough! _I'm not lying! I made Lalatina my pet! Slapped Aqua's ass! And shittalked about Arue's book! Kek!"

This unreasonable bitch…! Damn it, how did I even get into this? I just went to the restroom after eating lunch at the rooftop, and somehow, I had a blackout in there…

"Enough with your deceit."

"It's the truth!"

"Then explain to me what happened to Lady Eris!"

Another flash. And Eris was revealed, sitting on a chair, her eyes still lightless despite the flashlight.

"Explain to me why Lady Eris is in such state!"

'I sniffed her chest' was something I didn't dare to say. Otherwise, these psychos would kill me!

"W-What are you talking about? I-I have nothing to do with-"

"Oh hi, Kazuma," said Eris with a cheerful tone. "How's the day? Mine's been severely terrible since you planted your face onto my chest and huffed the life out of me."

Oh shit.

"KEK!"

"Trash! Trash! You piece of trash!"

"I can't believe this man isn't in jail already!"

"Die, you depraved mongrel! Die, you bag of rotten flesh!"

Ahh, is this how it feels like to be surrounded by women? I wish it wasn't just their punches and kicks but also their kiss. Huh, the sea has parted…is Aqua here? Never mind, it's Eris. She walked through the parted sea and stood before me, who was nothing but a rag on the floor. She sat on her knees and looked down at me with a bright smile.

"Wonderful, your head is well bandaged." She slanted her head and poked her cheek as she pondered, "Although it's quite like putting a lead on an empty jar."

Hoh…nice try, bitch. But you're twenty years too early to insult me.

"Just like your bra?"

A wind passed by. Of course, it wasn't literal as the room was closed off, but it took away Eris' smile. It seemed to have taken her strength as well, as she collapsed. She then hugged her knees and was broken again, "I'm flat. I don't deserve to wear a bra. I'm flat. I don't deserve to wear a bra. I'm flat…"

""Lady Eris!""

The girls rushed unto her and comforted her. I wished to be comforted as well, and fortunately, someone heard my silent call.

She grabbed my collar with both hands and shouted at my face, "How dare you!"

From the light on the side, her pretty face was revealed. At this point, I was quite baffled at how important people were all beautiful and handsome, except me, the most important. Anyhow, I had to grace her with my description. She had a light brown hair, almost golden, which was loosely knotted into a single braid, resting atop her unimpressive breast. Welp, it was nothing compared to Wiz's, but compared to Eris', it was definitely an el dorado. Her eyes were black…or brown; I couldn't quite tell because of the dark. If it wasn't for her knitted brows, she would look quite bewitching, that's for sure.

"_Pfu!"_ spitted I to the side. "So it's ok for her to insult me, but I cannot? Talk about inequality…oh, now I get it. We are called to be white knights not to protect you lot but to endure through your insanity!"

She was silent, but her glare wasn't so silent. Then, a sigh. She raised me along the chair, to which I was tied to, and allowed me to sit upright. Nevertheless, I was still tied. The cold woman turned on heels.

"You may have a point, but it's not for me to forgive what you did." She turned to Eris and kneeled. "Lady Eris, what shall I do with this man?"

Eris raised her head, and her soulless eyes peered into me. Then, her lips stretched to a grin, sending shivers down my spine. She stood up. As she walked to me, she brought out not one, not two, but four feathers…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I struggled. Then, I despaired. Eris was skipping toward me with a bright smile, but I couldn't move an inch.

"What is the matter? She is just holding some feathers."

"SAVE ME! SAVE MEEEEE! NOOOOO- ah-"

I felt a touch at my shoulder. By the way how it glued on me, I knew my end was-

"Tickle tickle tickle tickle tickle."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She is tickling at…my…neck? Huh, this is rather comfor-

"Ngh!"

"…Tickle?"

…What was th-

"Ngh!"

"…Tickle tickle?"

Oh, it's me…how embara-

"Ngh! Y-Yamete!"

"Tickle…"

_Ehem!_ W-Well, that wasn't so bad. I guess she can go o-

"Tickle tickle tickle."

"Remove his shoes? Why-"

"Tickle tickle."

"Oh…please excuse my rudeness, but Lady Eris, is this effective at all? He seems to be-"

"Tickle?"

"N-No! I'm not questioning you…understood. I shall follow your order."

Whoa shit, NASA should hire her because she just succeeded in conducting an inter-species conversation. Rather, FUCK!

"NO! Get back! Don't come near me, bitch! ARGH!"

She swung her bat at my leg and took the shoes off my unmoving feet. Without any sort of disgust but with swiftness, she removed my socks. Soon, the feathers stroked my fee-

"NOOOHAHAHAHAOOOOOHAHAHAHAHAOOOOOO!"

The unbearable torment was unleashed. The feathers brought me to howl, and they left itches that couldn't be scratched off. Blood ran through my body, inflating my muscles as they went. But I was tied with a rope. My muscles brought nothing but stinging pain due to the constriction. However, there was more…

"Ngh!"

It was the result of her stroke. Slowly sliding up my neck, it invoked pleasure in me. However, another pair of feathers stroked pain into me.

"HAHAHA- Ngh! NOOO- Ngh! S-STOHAHAHAHA- Ngh! JUST KILL ME ALREAHAHA- Ngh! YAMETEEEEEEEEE!"

Euphonic chord filled the room. The pain and pleasure mended each other, creating a sort of harmony, a stomach-churning harmony, quite literally. Even the girls seemed disillusioned as they saw my insufferable agony.

*Creak*

"What's with the noise?"

"Aqua, stop searching for someone like him. I know! I'll buy you something at the café!"

"Shut up, punk! You think something like that would win my favor?"

The conversation fell on deaf ears. I heard it without understanding, but I had to thank it because the torture stopped.

"Why is it so dark…," Aqua trailed off. Her eyes landed on us, witnessing the crime scene. Slowly, she closed the door as she said with a trembling voice, "S-Sorry for my intrusion…P-Please continue."

*Thud*

Heh, they fell victim to one of the classic blunders: leaving the door unlocked. I didn't bother to pay attention to their reaction as it played out like a video tape.

""WAIT!""

* * *

It was quite a bout of explanation. I had fun seeing my nemesis explaining it away with tears. Haha, it was fun. Very fun. Can we go now?

"Get off my back!" said Aqua as she shook me off. "Are you a baby or something? Stop hiding behind me."

"Ugh…"

I complied, and took several steps back. Seeing me backing away, Aqua followed suit. Eris, who wasn't so convinced that Aqua understood, followed, which led me to take more steps, which also led to Aqua taking more steps, which then again, led to Eris-

"Stop!"

I obeyed not her shout but her glare. She scurried in and locked my arm…with her arm.

"Hehe, you can't run off anymore…," she trailed off, noticing my blush. "Why are you getting all red!?"

"L-Look who's talking!"

Despite our little banter, none of us untied our knot. We shouted at each other, boiling each other's head with embarrassment and annoyance.

"…You two really made up."

We stopped our shout and turned to the voice. Eris stood there with an awkward smile as she scratched her cheek.

"You're even locking arms with him…aren't you afraid what he might do to you?"

Aqua gazed at her for a moment and gave a sigh. "Well, this NEET here is nothing but a wimp. I bet even if a girl sneaks into his bed or force herself upon him, he wouldn't dare touch her."

Hoh…that's quite a remark.

She stuck her chest out and shook it in front of me. "I dare you to touch it, shutinNEET. Come on. Come on. Come oooon. See? He is nothing but a-"

*SLAP*

As time seemed to stop, I said with a smirk, "You think I didn't touch your boobs because I'm scared? News flash, I'm not. I was just shocked at your sluttine- kek!"

"CA&^FB)6SDVh6SgM,gK!"

The same old fiasco broke out. Aqua was in tears with broken tongue. Eris just stood petrified while the cold woman stood at guard. As for me, I smiled. Before I knew it, I had grown fond of this. I had grown fond of her-

"I have been patient 'til now…but this is the last straw! You fucking Shitzuma, how dare you touch her breast with your rotten hand! Heck, what happened to our Lady Aqua!? Teach me your hypnosis, you piece of shit!"

Another dude came flying in, so I kicked him away. I bared my fangs against the intruder for daring to invade our skinship.

"So this is where you were..."

It was a voice of rusty irons grating against each other…Wiz? No, it wasn't as rough.

"I've been searching for you everywhere and here you are, enjoying your date."

My body trembled on its own and Aqua, who laid below me, trembled as well, as tears began swelling by. We both turned to our side and found a woman...or something. I couldn't quite tell as half her body was a mist of darkness. It glared at us with its eye that shone in murderous red.

"Showing off your coupleness, eh? Showing off your coupleness to a single, eh? Playing around when the single does all the work, eh? Toying with a woman's body and heart when he's already got a girl, ehhh?"

As the corridor was consumed in darkness, the guard took off with Eris, who was nothing but a stiff doll. Henry, unable to bear the dark pressure, quite literally and figuratively, blacked out. As for us, we shit our pants, not so literally of course. That would be too disgusting…but it was definitely a better option than the one laid before us.

""EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!""

Our scream was unheard as the darkness filled our view. We squeezed one another as we had nothing but each other in this abyss of tormented souls.

* * *

**Author's Note****:** Al Bundy...have you heard of his name? I did and I loved his insults, which inspired me to project that trait onto Kazuma. That part where Eris talks about his bandaged head and Kazuma countering with an insult was copied from his show. And damn, I love it.

I'll admit. I lowered Sena's age because otherswise, I would have to conjure a character to fill the role of the student council president. That would just be too much work.

Anyway, yeah, not much is going on yet. I'm still not sure how this part of the story would play out.

**LightDusk16****:** Kekeke...who knows? But seriously though, I won't confirm it because no matter how obvious it is, not confirming it would give some unexplained tension...whatever that means. Anyway, congrats! You placed first! Haha...the only first. Thanks for the review.

**P.S.** Belated Veterans Day folks! I hope you thanked any veterans near you.

**P.S.****2.** ...In all honest, I'm quite scared. I added too much girls that I don't know how to make a harem with all them. I will try...but don't get your hopes up.


	14. Chapter 12 Sports Fest with a BANG! (2)

Peach rays slid through the window. As if it wanted to check whether I was scribbling, it settled on my notebook. Unlike the distrustful inspector, my tutor didn't care, rather, she trusted me. She brewed a tea as she waited for me to complete her quiz.

*Crunch*

A noise of inconsideration scratched my ears.

*Sip*

Another inconsideration… even so, I completed it.

As I put down my pencil, Lalatina handed a tea as she said, "Great, you're done. Have some tea while I check your-"

"No way."

At my quick refusal, she winced, seemingly regretful at my suspicion. "Why?" she said as a blush took over her… I guess, she wasn't regretful, after all. "I swear, it's just a normal tea."

"My head still aches, you know?" said I. "Every time I see your tea, I'm reminded of how you pounded my head that day."

Aqua crunched a piece of her potato chips and said, "Your head hurt because you acted so perver-"

I sealed her chips-littered lips with a finger. As her cheeks reddened, said I, "Mind your words would you? The only pervert here is Lalatina."

"Now that's some lie right there," said Megumin. She took a sip at her tea and continued, "No need to be wary. This is a normal tea… unlike your green slush of a brain."

"As green as your internet history?"

"Wha-!"

Megumin jumped from her seat, and she definitely would've thrown a dropkick if it wasn't for the cup that fell off her hand. Miraculously, she managed to catch it without a spill. As she held firm to the cup, she released a sigh and promptly threw it in the heat of the moment.

*Shatter*

Silence reigned the room. It didn't seem, however, to be the case for my tutor. It was as if thunder drummed her body. Trembling, on the floor, she longingly stretched her hand to the cup, her broken cup.

"My cup… my precious cup…"

Megumin was thrown off by her own action as she looked here and there, probably searching for an excuse. When sweat slid down her temple, she lowered her head.

"I'm sorry!"

That was enough. Lalatina ceased trembling when she heard her apology. And soon, a warm smile covered her lips.

"Would you please give me a week? I'll pay you by th-"

A hand came to rest upon her shoulder. Looking up, Megumin found the warm smile.

"No need. What does a cup matter before a friend's sincere apology?"

"Darkness…," said Megumin, deeply touched.

"Is your hand alright? Let's see if yo-"

*Shatter*

…It was Aqua. She tried eating a chip while sipping her tea, which led her to burn her mouth, which then led her to drop the cup. She donned a smile, a calm smile, as if she wasn't part the problem… correction, she was the problem.

"Sorry, Darkness. I didn't mean it, but bad things are going to happen anyway. We're friends, right? You should-"

A hand fell upon her head. Looking up, Aqua found the face of a boiling pot. Tears swelled by her trembling eyes, and a weird, angry noise escaped through her pouted lips. Aqua had to choose her words wisely, lest she risk the faith of being boiled herself. But she looked away, choosing to escape the reality. Wait, she turned to me and pleaded with her eyes, saying, 'Kazuma! Kazuma!'

I looked away. I paid no attention to her ensuing scream. I had no interest to find out what Lalatina did to her, rather, my head already knew what she had done. Fists on both sides of her head, she must have drilled them into her thick skull. Damn, my head aches all of a sudden…

After a rather long screech, Aqua collapsed on the table. One could tell at first glance that she was white, ashen white, a proof that she couldn't endure through her fiery temper.

Lalatina stomped the ground and snatched my note. With a snort, she sat down and began checking my answers. I released a sigh. I already knew that I wasn't the target of her ire, but that measly information couldn't stop my headache.

"_Hic!"_

Of course, Aqua sobbed as usual. I gave another sigh and realized that Megumin did too. We looked at each other, both of us relieved that we weren't caught in her fire. Speaking of fire, I was reminded of another mess.

"Hey Megumin, how's Arue been doing?"

A frown took over her as she said, "What's with the sudden attention? No way, I will never sell my- oh! Y-You mean, what Arue's been up to, right?"

Oops, bad habits last long… I lowered my bag and said to the docile pup, "Yup, do you have any idea on what she's been doing?"

"L-Let's see… nothing much? She's been as usual, writing all day. It's just that…"

Huh… I guess there are villagers whose passion does not line with their talent. Nah, she's just too reckless to pursue something other than science.

"She seemed very fired up, like her passion quadrupled or something."

Welp, as long as she's not up to some mischief.

"Or was it something else…"

"What do you mean 'something else?'"

"It's something about her eye. Intense and wild… I thought it was her inspiration at play, but on hindsight, it was something else, something sinister…"

In other words, I shouldn't let up my guard.

"Kazuma!" cried Aqua. "What are you doing, chatting with that twat?! Aren't you supposed to comfort me!?"

I'm amazed. Megumin didn't shot her gun like usual. Whoa, never mind, she's just too shocked at her entitleme-

"You two going out?"

…

""HUHHH!?""

Grasping her nape, I shoved her kryptonite right in her face. "Who the hell am I going out with, twat!? How dare you degrade my worth to that of an animal!?"

"WAA!" cried the wild Aqua as she jumped on me. "What do you mean!?"

"It means you're…! You're… you're…"

"I'm what!?"

"You're… a velvet monkey-"

"WAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Calm down! A velvet monkey is cute, you know…," I trailed off as I saw a surprise on her face. Only when it turned red, did I realize my mistake. "I-I mean you cry like some chimp, whose ass is being pummeled by a twelve inch punisher."

"_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" _

She pounced, howling like some frenzied chimp. With full disregard of personal space, we indulged ourselves in skinship. After a series of body locks, we came to a truce and sat down. Megumin and Lalatina were already on their chairs as they shared popcorn.

"They're definitely going out," whispered Megumin without the supposed silence.

"I suspect that to be true… however, that's not a problem because I'm nothing but a pet! Therefore, it's perfectly acceptable for him to abuse me!"

That was freaky. So did Megumin thought, evident in the look she gave her. I took my gaze off of the self-proclaimed pet and settled it on my note. The score was well displayed in red ink, twenty over fifty. Sigh…

"_Sniff_ enough chats! We need to talk about our club activity."

Quite a big surprise, eh? To think that she managed to gather the minimum number of members required for a club. What was more surprising, however, was the name. Amazingly Awesome Association of Aqua's Admirers was her first proposal, which, on hindsight, wasn't so surprising. Of course, it was denied. Totally Stunning Tricks of Aq- denied.

Megumin, who joined for free, which led me to suspect that she was in it for the club budget, suggested World's Total Destruc- denied. The next suggestion, Future's End is Here, was too much a cringe, way more than the twelve-year doomsday prophecy. Naturally, it was denied.

Lalatina, despite not part of the school, was still able to join. In spite of being equally insane but perhaps with the most sound mind, she suggested a more practical name, Magic Club. Of course, "What are you nine years old!? That's way too simple!" and "I can never stand for such simple name, you simple hag! It will only serve to stain my great name!" were the reactions. The latter was especially sore, stripping Lalatina off her blush, leading her to pull the cheeks of a certain twat.

I, the sane of the bunch, suggested a more balanced name, Magician Quadruplet. When I said it, there was a brief silence… followed by ridicules. Nobody wanted each other's names nor did anyone want to yield. But my name was chosen. How? I won in a rock-paper-scissors. Of course, nobody respected the fair result so I used my connection in secret. Lalatina could have done the same, but her sense of moral must have prevented her.

Anyhow, Magician Quadruplet was proudly displayed in the door's template. As expected, their whines lasted a while, but it wasn't long for them to find the better part it.

"In the upcoming sports fest, our club will-"

"Oh yeah," said Megumin, "we were in a club."

"Hahhh!? I thought you were smart, but it seems your head is filled with nothing but peanuts!"

"_Whoosh!_ Did you hear that? My sarcasm went right through your blue donut! Of course, I knew it! I had to say it because we did absolutely nothing! Which I don't mind as long as you share me some snacks."

Yeah, it's a miracle that the school allowed such a club to exist. But I get where they're coming from. Aqua's first day was just too unforgettable… in many ways. Allowing such a talent to form a club would surely be a plus for them, which I certainly doubt.

"A-Anyway! We finally got an opportunity! So listen up!"

Aqua explained what we heard in the committee's room. First, we two didn't have to get involved with any preparations for the sports fest because it's all done. We just had to offer some labor during the event. Second, the top three contributors to the preparations may choose one club each to perform during the fest.

"What performance?" said Megumin.

"Oh, it's an event unique to the school," said Lalatina. "It's held in the middle of the sports festival where the chosen three clubs get to perform…in front…of…everyone…!"

"Why are you getting all weird again?"

Despite her strange behavior, what she said was true. And as expected, Megumin caught onto the problem.

"I can see that you want to perform in this event, but you just said the preparations were done. So there's no room for us anymore."

"Now that's where you come in!"

Aqua explained what was in her mind, and Megumin, who happened to be the key to her plan, had to lash out.

"Are you serious!? I get to blow up all the props they prepared!?"

Never mind, she loved the idea.

"Fat chance!"

The two turned to face me, questioning me with their look.

"Are you guys insane!? There's no way I would allow that!"

"Don't worry," said Aqua. "Much of their props were amateurish at best, and I can do much better! If this twat "Stop saying twat!" succeed, they will fall into a great crisis. Think about it, if I solve their problem, they'll not only praise me but also let me choose the club! Two birds with one stone!"

Wow… just wow… forget about the insidious plan she devised, just how is she spewing such shameless scheme with a proud face? Megumin, you're no better with that excitement.

"Can't you be reasonable at all? To begin with, why do we need to use her explosive? If it's to damage the props, we actually have ways that are sane."

"Why is the discussion going toward the means?" said Lalatina. "Explosive or whatnot, I will not allow this."

"Then how are we supposed to perform!?"

Lalatina gave her a wry smile. "Well… let's give it up for now and prepare for the school festival. Besides, we aren't ready for a performance."

Aqua puffed her cheeks as tears pooled by her eyes. She turned to stare at me as weird noises escaped her lips. At such obvious, stubborn demand, I had to sigh.

"We can try asking the top contributors."

"_Sniff, _what do you mean?"

"It means that we can try to convince one of them to choose our club."

Aqua seemed to like the idea as she brightened up.

"Huh, that's quite smart of you," said Megumin.

"I'm not smart. I'm just normal unlike you."

"What did you say?!"

Whoops. Nice try, little bitch. Next time, you should try something new because your dropkick is getting old. It was too easy to dodge, and now, you're writhing on the floor.

Once I sat atop the squirming pup, Aqua said, "But how do we know who gave the most contribution?"

"GET OFF!"

"Well, we can just ask one of the committee members."

"I said, GET OFF!"

"Yikes, I don't want to have anything to do with that soon-to-be-spinster."

"Hey! Don't ignore me!"

"We can try asking the teachers."

"Darkness blacker than black…"

"No need," Lalatina chimed in. "Since the preparations are complete, they should be announcing the top contributors, if not done already."

"…darker than dark. I beseech thee…"

"You seem to know a lot about this."

"…combine with my deep crimson. The time of awakening…"

"Of course, I used to offer services to choose my club."

"…cometh. Justice, fallen upon the infallible boundary, appear now…"

"A club about bondage?"

"…as an intangible distortions. I desire for my torrent of power a destructive force…"

"H-How rude! My club was and is still kendo! It's thrilling to be beaten while never landing a hit…!"

"…a destructive force without equal! Return all creations to cinders, and come from the abyss…"

"Sigh, thought so," whispered I. Knowing that the pup was about done, I sealed her lips, "Steal." And continued, "Wait, is it alright for you to join us while you're in another club?"

"…"

"Oh, it's fine. I can manage my time."

"…_Hic!"_

I shrugged my shoulders. "As long as you're fine."

"Uuuuuuuuu."

"Kazuma," said Aqua, her eyes glued on the pup below me, "She's crying…"

*SLAP*

"A brat like her needs some ass-slapping to…," I trailed off as I didn't receive their stares of appalment. Instead, they seemed quite shocked at what was below me… why do I smell something burning?

"Damn you…! Ex… EXPLOSION!"

"Ah shi-"

*BOOM*

* * *

As I walked down the brick path, I peered into the distance, beyond the rows of buildings. There was the sunset, the beautiful sunset. As the peach disk submerged into the mountains, the auburn glow spread to caress the likewise auburn trees. It provided a wonderful source for warmth, cuddling me as they wandered. However, even they didn't seem capable of melting the icy atmosphere…

I looked to my left and, in a bit of distance, found the source of the creeping gloom.

A loose braid wiggled atop her breasts. Her piercing eyes turned out to be brown with the shade of wood, but it reeked of darkness, frosty darkness.

"Keep your eyes off or I'll pluck them out myself."

"Try it, bitch. Swing your bat again, then you will meet the full force of my testosterone."

"…If you are a man, say that to my face, rather than behind a woman."

By woman you mean Aqua? Sorry bitch but she is a chimp. There's no problem in using an animal as a shield… I'm quite certain that I was th-is close to taking a ticket to hell.

"Not the cockroach… no… please not the cockroach… please…"

Aqua couldn't care less, rather, she really couldn't care. Her head was filled with flashbacks, no room for rational thought. Now, as to how she came to this, welp, by a luck that can only be described as divine providence, the explosive turned out to be defective. I take it that it's not a surprising reveal. After all, we are still alive, all limbs attached. Nevertheless, it was a close call, an event that almost took our lives, so I had to question the culprit. And the pup barked, saying it was all intentional, in other words, a prank, but her trembling eyes and stuttering tongue told me otherwise. So I stole her panties. It was the same one I bought her that day but with a bit of wrinkles.

'How come she isn't barfing?' is a valid question, I must say. Indeed, she demanded for my spray, right after being covered in the slime. But I knew better, and I had to slap some sense into her. Once she seemed capable of listening, I urged her to use her water thing as the cockroaches flew out of the nooks and crannies! Thank God she did. In her desperation, she managed to washed away the slime before the roaches came. A happy end I suppose… if only the event didn't trigger her flashbacks… also, if only my tutor didn't make this face that was quite telling of her shattering sorrow, even greater than when her cup was broken… and also, if only the twat didn't start throwing shits while demanding for her panties… I'm afraid I'm growing quite used to shit like this.

"Amelia, you don't have to accompany me."

"No, I cannot allow you to walk alone when the deviant is still at large."

I looked past the guard, whose name suited her pretty face quite well, and onto the trembling Eris. 'Why is she here in the presence of her mortal fear?' is another valid question. Well, once Aqua's flashbacks were triggered, she didn't start mumbling like some padded landlady. Instead, she wailed like there was no tomorrow. The landlady, who happened to pass by, must have heard her sonorous cry, and stormed into the room only to let out a soul wrenching shriek herself. Truly, what a déjà vu. I could tell that she was th-is close to triggering a flashback.

Huh, I've grown a habit of digressing.

Anyway, we were now heading home. 'Wait, you still haven't explained why she is here," I hear you say… It was after she regained herself, she stood up despite her wobbling legs. Hiding behind her guard, she shouted me, "I can't believe you've done this again!" and "I will not allow Aqua to be with a man such as yourself!" Her plan, however, couldn't work. After all, Aqua just wouldn't let go of my arm as she leaned on me quite tightly. Reluctant, she decided to come along.

Nevertheless, such a prolonged contact with a woman never occurred in my measly life, not even with my slut of an ex-fiancé. Therefore, I believe I do not need to provide an excuse for my constant blush.

How long did we walk? We came to a bustling crowd, a scene I've gotten used to for the past few days.

"Wahahaha! How unfortunate. Thou gets nothing but a pack of tissue, but it warrants a celebration, nonetheless! Congratulations, customer, for winning the tenth pack! Puwahahahahahahaha!"

"What a load of crap!"

Fallen to the trap of one of the oldest forms of lootbox, eh? I wonder who is the teenage boy with mom's wallet… Henry? What is that shitstain doing here? Ah shit, he noticed u-

"Aqua!"

Time to speed up. I don't want anything to do with h-

"HALT!" The shitstain rushed in and stood in our way. "Where do you think you're going, you piece of shit!?"

Sigh, troubles just won't let me go…

"Fuck off, filth. No amount of denial will change the fact that Aqua want nothing to do with you."

"What a bold-faced lie!" He pointed a finger at me and said, "She wants nothing to do with me because of your hypnosis!"

"What hypnosis!? If I knew any of that sort, then that barren landlady over there will be all over me by now!"

"You…!" Amelia seemed baffled but was quick to continue, "Watch your words, scum!"

"Barren? Landlady…?" Eris pondered until a flush took over her."_Gasp! _T-There's not a chance that I will be all over a hopelessly lecherous beast like you!"

"Why would she be all over you, huh!?" cried Aqua, woke out of her flashbacks. "Explain to me, you shutinNEET!"

H-Huh? Why is everyone against me?

"A fine expression thou hath there, esteemed customer. To think that Moi would come across such an entertaining affair… don't you all think so, customers? Fuha, fuahahahaha!"

Looking to the side, there stood a mad man in black suit and white gloves. He donned a peculiar mask, half black and half white with a star below each eye holes, that covered half his face. From the look of his nose and mouth, coupled with the black, slicked back hair, as long as his eyes didn't look terrible, I could tell that he would look extremely stunning without the mask.

"That young man has such a beautiful partner, and yet, he is still eyeing for another woman…"

"Poor boy… he lost his dear to a horrible man like him."

"Stop playing around with your dick!"

"You all got it horribly wrong!"

And of course, nobody heard the desperate cry of a man wrongly accused… No matter. Nothing but a trivial event in a society. Just forget it, and let's go-

"Wait," said the masked freak, "Moi offer thee a special discount for winning the second price last time. I'm willing to cut you half the price, so that will be five hundred yen. Moi believe it's a terrific offer." He finished his pitch with a grin.

What a sly piece of… sigh, what can I say to the expectant look of the crowd except, "Sorry but I'm bro-"

"Go take it," said Aqua. "You offered me one of the pair of phones you won before. So I will pay for you this time."

Huh, I'm surprised that she, a woman, knew the concept of reciprocation. Nevertheless, "Than-"

"But make sure to offer me whatever you win!"

Sigh… "Sure, I'll give you the whole tissue pack," said I, walking up to the spinny thing.

"Don't be such a pessiNEET, you shutinNEET! Be optimistic like me! I'm sure, you will scoop a big one so cheer up!"

Optimism? What is that? Does that come along with your incessant stupidity? Besides, optimism and gambling are a recipe for disaster. Ugh… it's uncomfortable to have all their stares. This freak's sticky look is not helping me, either…

"Aqua!" said the excited shitstain, his voice likened to that of sloppy, wet farts, "Don't place your hopes on a fraud like him. I already spun it ten times, and all I got were tissues."

"Hmph! He's not like you, punk! He won the second prize on his fir-"

"But don't worry because I will bring you the sapphire necklace! No matter the cost!"

"Sapphire…?" She took a brief pause. "S-Sapphire!? G-Go Kazuma! Go! You can do i- no, you must do it, damn it!"

Why does it seem like she didn't know what the prizes are? Did she ever check it out when she nagged me to play after getting five tissue packs herself? Talk about a gambling maniac…

"Dear customer, Moi truly wish thee a good luck."

It's not so convincing with that strange smile of yours… argh! Let's get this over with.

*Roll*

"Kazuma! KAzuma! KAZUma! KAZUMA! KAZUMAAAA!"

Aqua cheered… or should I say, she desperately demanded me.

""Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!""

Rumors are just rumors. Nothing but a passing wind. The crowd, who were so appalled, gradually joined in in cheering me. Seriously, what a brainless folk…

Sigh, why is this thing not coming out ye-

*Tap*

Huh, it's gold… _GASP!_

"Huhuhuhu," the masked freak snickered creepily. It didn't take long for him to break into a loud bout of laughter. "Muahahahahaha! Nuahahahahahahaha!"

His laughter echoed in silence until…

""OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!""

The crowd roared as if our national football team scored a goal… which, I must admit, was a rare occasion.

"NOOO!" screamed the shitstain somewhere in the crowd. "This can't be happening!"

Heh, serves you right in your balls, shitsta- "Kek!"

"It's gold!" Aqua shouted as she pushed me away. "Which means he won the first prize! So stop laughing and give me my necklace!"

Hoh… her thottery really does amaze me sometimes.

"Fuck off, thot!" I barked and shoved her away.

"No! You fuck off!" Aqua shouted back as we wrestled for the spot. "I am the one who paid for it so it's mine!"

"Wahahahahaha! Let Moi remind you two that she didn't pay me yet!"

That was the kicker that gave us a pause, and it didn't take long for us to unzip our purse. And I was faster.

"Congratulations, esteemed customer, for winning the first prize!"

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"'Kazuma! Kazuma!' my ass! I had enough of your thottery, bitch! So get your stinking ass off and shove it in the dumpster!"

A pause, then, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I tried my damn best to shake her off, but she proved to be quite resilient. Sigh, she didn't have to be so desperate. I planned to give it to her anyway. She… she just had to be grateful is all. I mean… huh? Why is she so quiet all of a sudden? What is she looking at? Oh.

There was an oval blue, simple in design but exquisite in its charm. It was deep in its shade just like her eyes. Despite it, it knew how to glitter just like her eyes. Truly, it belonged on her neck.

"Kazuma…," whispered Aqua as she turned to face me. She gazed at me with the same shade and glitters.

"Sigh, I'll give it to you so stop crying…," I trailed off as I saw her face turning brighter and brighter.

Truly, it belonged right below her beaming smile.

I took the necklace with care and walked up to Aq-

"No fucking way!" The shitstain came flying in. "Keok!" And met my spray, followed by my kick.

I resumed my walk and stood before her.

"What?" she said as her eyes kept darting back and forth to the necklace and to me.

"Nothing. I just never thought that I would ever give a girl such a beautiful accessory…," I trailed off, reminded of a ring. I shook my head as it was a gone past.

Her eyes stopped as they focused on me. "Heh, yeah, to think that such a horrible NEET like you would ever give me such a necklace…" she trailed off as her eyes widened for a bit. Then, her lips stretched to a sneer. "Kazuma, I think I've realized something… You are a tsundere aren't you? That explains it! That's why you were so mean to me all this time! My hunch on the first day was right!" She held back her laugh as she tapped my arm. "My! Oh my! If you harbored such feelings, you should have been honest! I would have given you some attention!"

Hoh… now that I see, I was about to cast pearls before swine.

"…M-Maybe, w-we could even go on some d-d-da… huh? Where are you going? H-Hey! Where are you going!?"

Shit is to a swine, and pearl is to a swan. And there is a swan nearby.

"Halt! Don't you dare take another-"

"Amelia, please stand down."

"...Yes, Lady Eris."

Eris, a landlady of the barren land, but a holder of a kind soul, whose eyes were also deep blue and had a gentle glitter.

"Eris."

"What is it?"

"You can have it as my apology."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Eris, who had a soft blush, wore an awkward smile as she saw me keeping the swine from devouring the pearls.

"Fuhahahahaha! What a lovely face thou art making! Verily, one of a kind! Lady, please do tell, how does it feel to lose thy treasure right before thine own eyes? Wait, it's not just the treasure but also thy love! Muahahahahahahahaha!"

Aqua collapsed to the ground and, after a pause, continued to sob. Eris didn't seem to like that as she wore a frown over her awkward smile. Soon, however, they cleared up. She walked up to me with a kind smile.

"I will accept your apology," said Eris. "But I will not accept your necklace. I think there is someone else who needs it more than I do."

Sigh… can't she take from her a thing or two? No, even just one percent, just one percent! Sigh, if she didn't have systemic amnesia, then we would have been married already.

_"Hic! _Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu- huh?"

Aqua looked down and found the sapphire just above her chest. She looked up and found me retracting my arms. As if it hadn't been there to begin with, her tears evaporated and a bright smile took over her. She jumped up and tapped my arm as she rubbed the jewel against her cheek.

"_Sniff _I knew it! You were just one BIG tsundere!" She still couldn't stop her smile as she continued, "But I would like that you be more honest. You going roundabout like this is tiring and hurtful to deal with."

Yeah, me too. Dealing with your antics is requiring me too much a patience… nevertheless, "Sorry."

"Hmph, apology accepted."

"What a touching scene… Indeed, how Moi wish to catch this moment in a frame…," the Moi trailed off as he nodded to himself, then turned to the crowd. "Such is the possibility of gambling! A despair for a barfing lad, and a treasure for a cry baby lass! And ye can take your chance with just a measly one and a half thousand yen!"

Wait, did he just raised the price?

""OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!""

…Who am I kidding? It didn't matter to the brainless folk.

"Here, I want one."

And there was another brainless person.

"Lady Eris, gambling is…"

"Don't worry. I'm quite good at it." Eris turned her head to me, and it was the first time I saw a smirk on her face. "Besides, that man right there made me want the necklace."

That smirk… is quite familiar…

"Fuhahaha! Lady, sorry to inform thee, but the first prize is out of stock! That necklace right there is the one and only necklace Moi had! Which thou rejected! Muahahaha! In other words, there's no more gold ba-"

*Tap*

When the ball came out, the Moi had to stop his ridicules. I mean, How could he not? How could he keep ridiculing her about the lack of gold ball when it is there right before his eyes?

"So, what were you saying about the gold ball?" said Eris. "Sorry, but you were too noisy about it that I couldn't hear you quite clearly."

In response to her provocation, the Moi broke into a grin. "Interesting." He took out his phone and dialed a call. "Yes, it's Moi. I need thee to make me a necklace, exactly the same as the one I had with me since that day. Replica? No, bring the real sapphire…," he trailed off and turned to Eris. "Lady, doth thou want any modification to thine necklace?"

"H-Huh?" Eris was thrown off, stripped of her previous confidence. Even so, she forced a smile and said, "W-We don't need two same necklaces. I want an amethyst instea-"

"Amethyst it is then." The Moi continued his call, "Use the finest of Amethyst." He closed his call and turned to Eris, then bowed. "My deep apology. It seems that thy necklace won't be ready for three days." He straightened himself and continued, "As compensation, Moi won't receive any money from thee."

"Huh…? N-No, that's-"

Whatever Eris wanted to say was interrupted by two quick claps. They came from the Moi. Suddenly, most of the crowd turned to the shop and began disassembling it. It didn't take long, and the shop was soon gone.

*Creak*

I turned to the sound and found- whoa! A limousine!

"Customers, I'm afraid the shop is permanently closed. Thank you all for your patronage!"

With that, he went to the limousine and the people with him went to the black cars that came with the limousine. Before the Moi went in, he turned to face me and then Eris. He had a grin while he did that. And without a word, he left.

There were now only a few people in this place. A barfing shitstain and a shocked few people.

"Was that a movie set or something?" said Aqua.

"If that was a movie set, you have to return that necklace."

"No! This is mine!"

"Sigh."

* * *

We continued our path and reached the bus station. Weird, it didn't take that long to come here, but why am I so tired? And why doesn't she seem tired at all? Off with that smile will ya?

"Do you like it that much?" said Eris.

"Of course! Can't you see its beauty? It complements well with my own beauty!"

Like a boy with new lego set, she couldn't keep her eyes and hands off it.

*Creak*

As the bus arrived, we stood up from the bench.

"Lady Eris, are you sure you will be fine on your own?"

"Sigh, Amelia, you don't have to be so worried about me. Besides, this man already asked for forgiveness."

"But…"

"Yeah," said I, "don't worry about her. The moment I molest her, she would have an amnesia any- HEY! Who are you calling!?"

Amelia answered the call, "Hello, we have an emergency here. A moles-"

"Stop!" Eris shouted. "Don't be so worked up over a joke… huh? Is it? It's a joke right?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah! It's definitely a joke!"

"…I'm sorry. It turned out to be a misunderstanding." Then, she closed the call.

*HONK HONK*

"Move your ass, brats!"

""Sorry! We will get on now.""

We moved quickly as if our butts were on fire.

"Farewell, Lady Eris, Aqua, and scum."

"Farewell."

"Byes!"

"So long, bitch!"

*HONK*

"Pay up so we can go!"

""Sorry! We will pay now.""

Eris payed her fare as did Aqua. And only when it was my turn did I realized that I didn't have enough yen for the fare.'

"Hey, ugh… can you lend me some money?"

At my rather pathetic request, Aqua sighed and Eris wore an awkward smile.

"What shall I do with you…," said Aqua as she shook her head.

"You spent your fare on a gamble…?" said Eris, seemingly disappointed.

I've no words to return. After all, I really did use my whole fare just to win my pride.

"Here. Make sure to pay me back." "Take it, but please be mindful next time."

Huh?

""Huh?""

"_Whooo,_ nice times you're living there, brat," said the bus driver.

Yeah, for sure. Even though one of them is a selfish thot and the other is an enticing mirage… don't even get me to mention the other crazies… but I can't deny that I'm starting to like my new school life.

"Thank you."

* * *

**Author:** Guys, I realized that I wrote more than 10k words for just one day (in-story day). And I don't know how to speed things up. This is a bad habit of mine, I've gotta admit, which is causing the slow ass progression. But welp, for now, I plan to keep writing this way as I've been doing now. At least, for this story that is. Anyhow, hopefully, you guys enjoyed the chapter.

**LightDusk16****:** Thanks for the compliment! It's a good thing Aqua is being loved, despite her thottery. Wait, is laughing at her a form of love as well?

**Pky98:** Ah, a man of culture I see. I haven't watched much sitcoms, Americans or whatnot, but I gotta admit, he is a very strong character. Especially his insults. And it's a shame, I never watched Gintoki. It just never hooked me. Anyway, it's a good thing you love the story.


	15. Chapter 13 Sports Fest with a BANG! (3)

A wind passed by. It ain't that cold yet, but it was an Autumn wind nonetheless. As I wiped away my snot, another wind passed by. Then, another wind. Another wind. Another…

"_Achoo!"_

Standing on the school rooftop in this one cold morning proved to be more difficult than I thought. Nevertheless, I was here for a task, and to accomplish it, I looked into the binoculars.

A woman… I mean, a kid. She was an odd part of the buzzing path. When everyone had one or two companion, she was alone. All alone. However, that wasn't what made her stand out. If you search for it, you would find lone students here and there. It was the murk, a dark gloom attached to her slouched shoulders, trailing behind her slow steps, that made her stick out.

"Target spotted," I relayed my message through my walkie talkie app.

[Roger that.]

"Commence the Operation Star Fall…"

Ignoring the delusional kid beside me, I observed the target as I held my phone.

"Aqua, get ready… on five, four, three, two, one, go!"

"Fall… fall…! Bring down the foolish star!"

Ignoring the kid once more, I looked to the side. The lenses caught onto a fluttering blue hair. Tracing to its root, past the blue donut, I found Aqua, stuffing a bread in her mouth as she ran along the path.

Yes, it's the classic 'Bread Bump.'

"Contact."

"BAM!"

Operation half-successful. Aqua bumped into the target and both fell to the ground. Now, she just had to use this 'coincidence' to make friendshi-

"HEY!" shouted I. "Your skirt! Cover your panties!"

She was the only one who couldn't hear me when others turned to face me. She couldn't help it as she was writhing on the floor… wait, why is she squirming so violently…? Shit! She is choking! She is choking on her bread! I have to save her!

"Calm the fuck down!" The kid caught onto my leg. "Why are you climbing the fence!?"

"Let go…! Let me go! I have to save her!"

"Then take the stairs! You don't have to be suicidal over it! Look! Someone's helping her!"

Quickly turning to the scene, I found her words to be true. Our target, Yunyun, was squeezing her belly from behind, helping her to cough out the bread… oh, she coughed it out.

"_Whew,_ even though she is your girlfriend, you should have some common sen- owwwww!"

For daring to degrade my worth, I pulled her cheeks. And what? Common sense? She was one to talk.

She tugged away my hands. "Stop pulling my cheeks! Do you want to face the wrath of my explo-" The barking pup was brought to silence at the sight of her leash. Her eyes darted away into the scene. "L-Look! She had some mishap, but it seemed to work out!"

What she said was true… except, I'm not quite sure. Yeah, Aqua managed to form a connection, but that connection seemed rather pitiful. I mean, look, she buried her head in Yunyun's chest, rubbing them as she frantically thanked her in tears. Certainly, there was nothing about friendship in the one-sided exchange…? Never mind, Yunyun seemed to like the skinshi-

""Ah…""

I wasn't sure who said it first, but I was certain that we realized the same thing: it's over. Nothing could undo the stunned expression of Yunyun. Of all time, Aqua had to vomit another batch while hugging her so tight.

Just how weak is her stomach?

I gave a deadpan stare at the pathetic sight. Despite the distance, I could clearly hear the target's prolonged shriek. Looking to the side, I found Megumin with the same expression.

"I'm hungry," said she, her eyes still glued on the scene. "Do you have something to eat?"

"We have some left over bread in the club room."

"Let's go eat then, before the bell rings."

"Sure."

With that, we left the rooftop and the ruckus below.

* * *

Sigh… that was horrible. I thought I could make a friend other than Meg- I mean, Arue. But… but I was actually being bullied. What else can explain a situation where someone bumps into you with a bread in their mouth and vomits it all on you?

It must be an elaborate form of bullying in the guise of coincidence.

It has finally come to this. I became too much of an eyesore that people are starting to bully me. What should I do!? I-I should ask for help from Meg- I mean, Arue.

Aqua… that was her name. Yes, how could I mistake her blue hair? I wonder if she dyes it because it just seems so natural and beautiful.

What a waste.

I always thought that popularity comes with friends, but she proved me wrong. She's well known throughout the school. Everywhere I go, there's always a person talking about her beauty but mostly about her troubling behavior. And also… about her boyfriend that horrible man… they pity him while few are jealous or something about him being a cock to a tot. I wonder what that means.

Why is Meg- I mean, why is that mean girl with such a weird company? I want friends, but I don't want a person who steals panties or someone who vomits on people. I mean! Why should I care about a selfish girl like her!?

Sigh.

But… I heard friends forgive each other. Wait, she never called me a friend. Right… we were rivals. Come to think of it, Arue never called me a friend either…

Ha… haha, sigh.

I wonder if I can ever make a friend… No! I will! My AI is still far from complete, but I'm sure I'll meet her one day! So cheer up, Yunyun!

Sigh.

I wish a friend will appear out of nowhere…

"Hello, Yunyun."

Sigh, now I'm hearing hallucina-

"Yunyun?"

"!?"

Somebody touched my shoulder! From the direction where the voice came from! Does that mean I'm not hallucinating!? I turned back and found that I wasn't… because there was the Lady!

The Lady smiled at me. "Hello."

"H-He-Hel-Helk- urk!" I bit my tongue! Please don't be such a clutz now, Yunyun!

"Helk?"

"I-I mean, h-hello, hehe." I-I hope I didn't sound so awkward… WAIT! This isn't how I should do it! "M-Mine name is Yunyun!" I proclaimed in an embarrassing pose! "The future chieftain of the great clan of Crimson Demons! I shall one day summon my minion, my eternal companion!"

"Mine name is Serena!" the Lady proclaimed while matching my pose! "I lead the school's very own swimming club! I shall one day sport the Olympic gold medal!"

Ah… come to think of it, I didn't have to introduce myself. I already did that the other time… BUT! She is the only one who responded to me in this way! Twice! I must have craved for this kind of friendly greetings… WAIT! Don't get ahead of yourself, Yunyun! You shouldn't mistake her kindness as an act of friendship!

The Lady had a slight blush as she cleared her throat. "I-I believe I did a great job reintroducing myself. I don't have red eyes like yours but… oh, sorry, you don't have them as well."

"N-N-No! Y-You don't have to be sorry about that! I am perfectly fine without them!"

"Hmm? Alright." The Lady curiously looked at me. "By the by, why are you in your track suit?"

"Oh…" I escaped her gaze. "Something happened on the way…"

The Lady made a worried look. "Are you alright?" She came close and laid her hand over my forehead. "Hmm… you don't seem to have a fever…"

I-I had to jump back! "Y-Y-Y-Y-You d-don't have to be worried about s-someone like me!"

"Don't say that," the Lady said with a sad smile. "We are friends aren't we? It's only natural-"

"Come again?"

"Umm, it's only natural-"

"Before that!"

"We are friends?"

Ahh… he… hehehe… ehehehehehehe-

"Yunyun?"

"Huh!? Hehehe- I mean! Friends! Yes! We are friends! So it's ok for you to worry about me! Ehehehehe!"

"Right...," said the Lady with a smile.

Friends… friends! I finally have a frie-

*RING*

"Oh, it's the bell," said my friend, mildly annoyed. "Sigh, come on, let's go."

"Ehehe, yes!"

Ahh… I finally met my fated friend, the kind, beautiful Lady, willing to recognize my mere existence.

* * *

"SHE IS FAKE!"

It was an explosion of a day past. Megumin's patience was short-lived, and she had to explode the moment she entered the club room.

"Yunyun is too easy! That shameless woman must be playing her by the fuse!"

"You're the one without the fuse, twa- "Don't you dare!" …twat. "OH!""

Of course, her dropkick was of no use, but I didn't want to reenact the same shit. So I refused to sit atop her. I'm a reflective being, unlike the squirming pup below.

"I'm rather impressed that Megumin held back her temper," said Lalatina.

Indeed, although she couldn't hold it back for long, she still did for a reasonable amount of time.

"Get up, you peanut-brained twat! Go back there and fix your mistake!"

But Aqua didn't care about all that.

"And convince her to choose our club!"

That's because Megumin missed the only shot Aqua had for the performance. Wait, Yunyun already chose a club. So it's not Megumin's fault for the loss of her chance.

So how did it come to this? Well, it's time for a flashback… within a flashback.

Eris was the one who informed us two days ago as we rode a bus going home. Of course, Aqua jumped at the opportunity and sprawled herself on top of her. With a motherly smile, Eris told the child that she already chose a club, the baseball club, where Amelia belonged. The child, however, couldn't understand her and threw a wild tantrum. She even turned to the dad, me, and begged him to change the mother's decision. It required a great effort to not immediately throw her off the window, but I managed to. I then told her to be quiet or I would place her for adoption. She immediately piped down, leading the mother to be quite impressed, saying, "Don't be so cruel!"

The next day, we asked the other guy as he turned out to be in the same classroom as ours. However, since he was doing it for his writing club, we were rejected. But the way he looked at me was strange. It had a mixture of curiosity and disgust… or was it pity?

Bah, who cares. I'm used to it.

So, it came to this, to the point we had to ask Megumin. And she went on, quite nonchalantly so, her steps without a shadow of a doubt. She soon stood before Yunyun by herself. Then, as the sunset shone onto her back, she struck a pose, brimming with cockiness.

"Yunyun! Be honored! I shall grant you the opportunity to choose our club!"

When she said that right in her face, I felt a headache coming in. And I felt even more headache when I saw Yunyun's face lit up at her entitled demand… but it didn't last long. Her face immediately fell, and her eyes darted here and there until she bowed her head.

"I'm sorry!"

Megumin almost fell off her posture. She promptly righted herself and said, "W-Well! I suppose it was too much to ask from a rival, after all."

Yunyun raised her head, revealing a sorry look. "Umm, I'm glad that you're asking me for help. Really! But… I can't help you anymore."

"Why? Did someone ask already? Arue?"

Yunyun escaped her gaze. "No… it's someone else."

"Oh…" Megumin also averted her gaze and continued, "who is it?"

"She is…," Yunyun trailed off as she saw a figure entering the scene.

"Hello, Yunyun."

Huh, why is the Lady there? Who knows, but I suppose it's time for description. Her name is Suzuki, Serena, the Lady of the school. She had side-swept bangs that reached down to her shoulders. In contrast to her black hair, she had a fair skin. It was white as snow, so white that the beauty mark below her left eye could be easily seen. But forget all that. Look at the humble posture she took upon herself. Hands together upon her belly, she gracefully stood there with a tender smile.

Come to think of it, she reminds me a lot of Eris.

"Huh!? H-He-Helluoo-" Yunyun slapped her own mouth, ceasing her weird noise, which barely resembled what she meant to say.

The Lady giggled at the sight. "What are you doing here?"

"N-Nothing! I was just getting prepared to go home!"

"I see." The Lady took a step closer as she gave a sweet smile to Yunyun. "Do you mind if I come alo-"

"Fake."

The whole world was rid of motion. If anything, it was time to jump through time and space to reach the Steins;Fate because the psycho brought down the atmosphere to a devastating, absolute zero that the only option left for us was to fucking rocket off the planet Earth and find someplace warm enough for our feeble lives!

In short, Megumin, you madlass!

The first to recover wasn't the Lady, neither was it Yunyun. It was Aqua. Knowing that it would only go south from here, she would've stormed into the scene, if it weren't for me and Lalatina to recover in the nick of time and restrain her.

"Yunyun, she is definitely fake. Don't get close with-"

"You don't know her!"

Megumin shut her mouth for a moment. "Neither do you. I've never seen you two together before."

"B-But! You can't just judge her at first sight!"

"Yunyun, you shouldn't let your loneliness cloud your judge-"

"Stop!" intervened the Lady. "Don't fight because of me!"

She brought a brief pause to the confrontation. Yunyun promptly looked away as embarrassment reddened her face while Megumin stared red at her.

"Why did you even approach her? Are you after the club performance?"

Oooh, damn… welp, I agree. Although she is well known in the school for her good conducts, the timing of her approach simply does provoke so much suspicion. Besides, all hot women have a bizarre quirk or two. It won't be too strange if she turned out to be a manipulative sociopath. I can't confirm that, but I sure can ascertain that she has at least one loose screw in the head.

It's true. I've learned it in the hardest of ways.

The Lady wasn't fazed at her claim. She just stood there with the same smile. "No, I would never harbor such intentions."

"Heh, if you don't have the intentions, then why did you even ask Yunyun to choose your club to begin wi-"

"It was me!" cried Yunyun. "I am the one who offered it so don't misunderstand her!"

Megumin went speechless. Checkmate, so to speak. If she said she offered it, then what can a third party say anymore?

"Hmph."

Without further a word, she left the scene. She was rather composed in her steps, but once she turned around the corner, she began stomping the ground. And when we entered the club room, we found the bomb with a flickering fuse.

"SHE IS FAKE!"

And so, the explosion.

"Yunyun is too easy! That shameless woman must be playing her by the fuse!"

"You're the one without the fuse twa- "Don't you dare!" …twat. "OH!""

"I'm rather impressed that Megumin held back her temper."

"Get up, you peanut-brained twat! Go back there and fix your mistake! And convince her to choose our club!"

Megumin didn't comply, even though she stopped writhing. She just laid on the ground as limp as a board.

Seeing how she wasn't responding, Aqua rubbed her hair to a mess. "AHH! Why did you say that!? Don't you want to be part of the show!?"

Megumin still wasn't responsive, which Aqua didn't take kindly. She was about to jump on her.

"Aqua, calm down!" Lalatina held her back. "You must understand her. She must feel betrayed by her best friend. To think that her best friend would side with someone against her in an argument… how… how envious…!"

What a crazy bitch…

It seemed Aqua thought the same as she stopped struggling, donning them deadpan eyes.

Suddenly, Megumin jumped to her feet. "No! Fucking! Way! I don't understand how you came to the conclusion that she is my best friend!"

She wasn't so convincing when her face was turning as crimson as her eyes.

"Tsundere…"

And Aqua just had to voice the truth.

"OH!"

I threw myself to the side, but I realized I wasn't the target of her ire nor her upcoming dropkick. Actually, there was no dropkick at all as Megumin held her bomb instead... wait-

"EXPLOSION!"

"Nature's Beauty!"

It all happened in the split second. Just as Megumin ignited the fuse, Aqua brought out her fan lighting fast and shot forth her water thing.

"Nature's Beauty! Nature's Beauty! NATURE'S BEAUTY!"

"Stahp! It's already ou-" Megumin was doused in short.

Aqua kept waving her arms, filling the room with more and more water. Megumin was drowning in the unending stream, and Lalatina seemed very much envious that she ended up standing in front, receiving the water herself.

As for me, I had to sigh. Just thinking about fixing this mess gave me a headache… Actually, since this was a flashback, I just had to wake up.

Wake up! And I can't because I forgot. There was something more to this.

After much calming down, we cleaned the room, changed clothes, and sat down. Megumin planted her face on the table while Lalatina was thoroughly flushed as she hugged herself, wiggling and twitching, obviously recounting her earlier experience. Aqua, on the other hand, was calm, borderline thoughtful, which was impossible.

So I asked, "Why look so serious?"

Instead of answering, she looked straight into my eyes. I was mildly surprised at her capability to be serious, and, feeling a bit embarrassed, I looked away.

"W-What?"

"It's not over..."

"Huh?"

*Bang* Aqua slammed the table. "It's not over!"

Megumin was still unresponsive, but Lalatina yelped at the sudden noise, which was immediately superseded by her moan.

"I can't go down like this. No way. I will never give up raising my statu- my club's popularity!"

Lalatina clapped as she said with a tinge of blush still painting her cheeks, "T-That's an admirable spirit."

"You were about to say status didn't you?"

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you-"

"Anyway! I'm not giving up. So you all should help me out, like a good club member should!"

Sigh… "Just so you know, I will never approve the idea of damaging the props."

"Likewise," said Lalatina.

Aqua donned a very slappable smirk. "Heh, don't worry. I have an even better plan."

Better plan, huh... considering her backward thinking, it definitely is going to be a disaster.

"What is this plan?" said Lalatina.

Aqua beat her chest as she wore a proud smile. "Hehe, it's the Snatch that Ticket Plan!"

She then went onto elaborate her plan that "one of us must befriend Yunyun and make her choose our club!" or "eliminate that fake woman and threaten Yunyun to choose our club!" Of course, I said no to both! What's with these childish plans!? But when I said this, she went apeshit and threw a hysteric tantrum! So I told her to fucking calm down or I would steal her necklace! Super effective!

There were now two heads against the table. One was as still as a dead lake and the other was on her way to make a lake out of her eyes.

"Now that I see…," Lalatina pondered as she caressed her chin, "I think I've seen her necklace before."

"It must be some cheap replica then."

"No, it's not! _Sniff! _How can you _sniff_ see this gorgeous sapphire as a replica!? _Sniff!" _

Well, there's a cheap replica right in front of me.

"Yeah yeah, it's so beautiful and wonderful and empty and vapid… Come here, let's clear that snot." I took out a pack of tissue, which Aqua dumped on me.

"_Sniff _you can't even give a proper prai-" she was cut in short as I pinched her nose with the tissue.

"Come on Roachy, after me, one two…"

"_FFFFFFFFFFFF!"_

"One two- ouch!"

It seemed the earlier insult finally registered in her head as she pinched my side. Of course, being the gender equalist that I am, I pinched back her hand. Then, it was a never ending cycle of pinching and be pinched.

"Not fair! Let me join in too!"

We came to a truce. None of us wanted a degenerate to sully the fun.

"_Hyah! _The timing was perfect! Just as I asked to join, you two immediately stopped, displaying your closeness, all while showing me how much of an obstruct that I am! _Hah~!"_

We two exchanged stoic looks, doubting whether our truce was for the best.

But… who cares.

We sat down as we did what I do best: sweeping crazy bitches under the rug-

"_Hyun! _More… ignore me more~!"

At this point, we covered our ears. I could easily see that Aqua was starting to regret accepting her into the club.

"I'll cooperate," said Megumin, raising her head.

"You're doing it wrong! You should've kept laying on the-"

"Not that!"

Aqua quickly understood what she meant, her eyes gradually brimming with excitement. "You mean you will help me out?"

"Yes, I have years of rivalry with that slut. I know everything about her!"

They then went onto discuss their plans. The first was the 'Bread Bump'. The next being the 'Lunch Together'. And I suppose it's time I wake myself from my self-imposed flashback.

Wake up!

* * *

The earthly smell of autumn hit my nose, and I noticed that I was behind a tree in a sort of forest, secretly watching a group of three eating lunch together.

"Kazuma… hey, Kazuma!"

I turned to the voice and found Aqua facing me with an annoyed look.

"Stop having day dreams and stay focused!"

"Sure, sure," said I lazily.

"Stop being such a half-ass!"

Says the woman who blew her chance… quite literally. Nevertheless, I turned to the scene. In the school's backyard, the Lady, Megumin's best friend, and the panting masochist sat on a bench, eating some sandwiches.

They were full of smiles. The Lady was with her usual one, and Yunyun beamed in what could be called ultimate happiness. As for Lalatina… she also had this smile of happiness (the unconventional kind) as she sat beside Yunyun.

"Let's go somewhere fun!"

"Sure, where shall we go?"

"_Hah hah,_ I-I think we-"

"Amusement park!"

"_Hyah~!"_

The conversation was transferred to us through the earphones. Lalatina hid a mic within her pocket to let us know what they were talking about. She didn't like the idea at first, but when Aqua promised to give her another shower… she reluctantly agreed in eager heat.

Lalatina's capitulation to her desires proved to be the correct course of action. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to hear the information that the Lady's club wasn't registered yet. In other words, all these charades weren't for naught.

But ugh… I knew it. It's all a waste of time with this group. I should've just stole their necklace and panties and put a stop to this farce. Man, I'm hungry… Yeah, I really should've done that. At least, I won't be here, wasting my precious lunch time.

"Ugh…"

It seemed someone else was hungry. I turned to the side and found a little girl by a tree. She had this motions of anguish: lips pressed tight, eyes fixated on the scene, feet tapping on its place. Never mind, she just wanted to go to the restroom.

"Why don't you go pee or something?"

"Wha-!" Megumin was baffled, her face instantly wearing a tinge of blush. "No female crimson demons ever need to go pee or anything! Aren't you supposed to live around here!? Why is this vital information absent in your thick, lopsided skull!?"

"Shhh! Be quiet! They might hear you!" Aqua squealed quietly. "By the way, a goddess-like beauty like me doesn't need to go pee or something as well," she noted as if it was an obvious thing.

"What the hell? You two some cheap idols or some… oh… I see. You sure don't need it with your Nature's Calling and all."

"Yup, Nature's Call… come again!?"

I turned to the first claimant. "And I don't know for all female crimson demons, but you sure don't need a toilet when you expel it whenever you're pleased… especially during your explosion."

"What the hell are you implying by that!?"

"Oh I don't know. Every time you detonate your bombs, you have this face of ecstasy, which was quite telling of your unstoppable discharge."

The little demon gasped. It was too much a shock, too much of an outrageous statement that she couldn't stop herself from throwing a dropkick, which was easily avoided.

Even though Megumin writhed on the floor, she had to say the following, "No crimson demons ever give in to their pleasure… We never-"

"Oh sorry, I mistook when you do it… After all, you must be discharging it every night in a toilet or someplace dark with your best friend's laptop. It's ok. I understand. Your poverty must have pushed your hormones to an abnormal degree."

Her jaw dropped, and it took a brief moment for it to move. "How did you-_ ehem! _T-That's a sexual harassment deserving a prison sentence of at least ten years!"

"…And you burning the mountain deserves hundred years."

Megumin shut her mouth at the mention of her previous crime. But what the hell? Was I spot on? I was just recounting my daily... _ehem!_

"Shhh! Quiet!" Aqua whispered. "Yunyun is talking to Darkness!"

They still haven't noticed us? Talk about convenience… anyhow, we got back to our peeking. Peering at the side tip of the tree, I found Yunyun giving Lalatina her concern.

"Are you hurt?" said Yunyun. "You are panting nonstop…"

Lalatina was stunned and immediately averted her gaze. "I'm fine," she said as her face lost its heat. "W-Would you please stop looking at me so worriedly?"

"S-Sorry!" Yunyun gave her a couple of bows. "I'm sorry for worrying about you…"

"No need!" Lalatina visibly panicked. "I'm just surprised at your concern..."

Yunyun seemed surprised herself. "Why? Isn't it normal to worry about a friend… I mean! Acquaintance! We're acquaintance! I'm sorry for getting ahead of myself!"

""Ahh…,"" it was a shared mutter among us.

She's right… friends are supposed to care for each other…

I turned to my side and found the three of us locking our gazes.

"It would be great if Kazuma was as kind as her," Aqua grumbled.

"Kindness to you is poison. It would only spoil you to death. So you should be grateful that I'm not sparing you any kindness at all."

"I don't need your kindness! I just want you to spoil me rotten!"

"Why should I bother when you're already rotten to the CORE!?"

"_GASP! _Why do you have to be so mean all the time!?" Aqua pounced with tears.

Even as we began strangling each other, Megumin butted in with a soft blush, "You know… that sounds rather bold."

Bold? What do you mean bold?

Aqua seemed to have the same question and was about to voice it as she stuck her neck out. "What on earth do you mean by…that…"

Why is her face turning red? Huh… oh wait-

"Darkness? Why are you here?" asked Megumin.

The short realization I had poofed away at the mention of someone who shouldn't be here. Lalatina had a grim look to her face. It was as if she had just watched videos of her old self, wondering how much of a nutcase she was.

Aqua grabbed her. "They found us!?"

"No, they went back after eating..."

"Then did you ask her about our club?"

"…No."

"WHY!? Don't you want to be wet in my Nature's Beauty!?"

Lalatina gave a wry smile. "I don't think I would like any of that right now…" She went to a nearby tree and sat down. Leaning on the tree behind her, she gazed up into the sky with a long face. But she was beneath a tree, and the sky she longed for was obstructed by the green foliage.

"What's wrong with her?" whispered Aqua.

"Dunno," I whispered back. "Why don't you ask her?"

"Eh... she has this atmosphere that's telling me to leave her alone…"

"She must be extremely ashamed…," Megumin chimed in. "Have any of you showed her kindness when she was indulging in her pleasure?"

We both shook our heads.

"Neither did I. Which is why it must've been a startling reminder of how vile and deranged she is when Yunyun showed her kindness at her worst state."

"Whoa, you must be-"

"You've got it wrong!" Lalatina squealed. "W-What do you mean I'm feeling ashamed? Just give me a whip, then I will feel so much plea…sure…," she trailed off as she wore a hollow expression. It must had hit her that what she said just now was quite appalling. "Please, just give me some time…," she said dejectedly, letting out a deep sigh.

Aqua went to her side and warmly said, "Come on, Darkness, cheer up. I will give them a whack or two for shaming you. So please, have pride in your perversion. There is nothing wrong with being a degenerate."

Whoa shit, her savagery was at play again. She even managed to make her cry, which is not an easy feat.

*Grrrrrrrrrrrrr*

"You hungry?" said I.

"…Yeah," Megumin answered with an embarrassed look.

"Welp, let's-"

*RING*

Are you serious? All that worth a whole hour? I didn't even get to eat a single grain!

"I guess it's time to eat!" Aqua cheered.

"Haven't you heard the bell?" said I. "We have to go back with empty stomachs thanks to you!"

"That's why let's eat now. Wiz is not around so why not?"

She was right. Wiz wasn't around since yesterday. Well… it's half the truth. She was in the school during the morning but wasn't there to teach us. By what we were told, she was going around the school for whatever reason and left when lunch came.

Even so… "That doesn't give us a pass to be late!"

Aqua pouted. "Why are you so uptight about the rules?"

"It's in my blood! I have to be orderly and uptight in the society!"

"Why do you have to be such a square? Oh… must be why you fit right in your room," she delivered it with a smirk.

"Urk…!"

Damn… never thought she could be witty with her words.

Aqua sighed as she shook her head, all while plastering a smug all over her face. "Oh, what a sinful woman I am… My wonderful beauty brought you out of your perfectly squared room… Oh, what shall I do to repay this sin?"

Damn… her thottery is on the surface again... wait, was it ever not?

"You can blow my stick as you had blown me away with your dirt cheap beauty." Her jaw dropped at what I said. "I mean, your mouth is as round as it can get, a perfect match for my boy." As her face turned completely red, I walked up to her. "So why don't you loosen me up with your gaping maw? Don't worry, I won't be as hard on you as the bread. You don't have to worry about choking." I placed a hand on her shoulder and said in a steamy way, "So kneel and suck ma dick."

She was shocked, utterly shocked, borderline traumatized. I could feel her tremble from the hand I placed on her. It won't be long before she wobble and tumble. Heh, I always make sure to return double!

"You fiend! Why can't you speak to me just like that!?"

Sigh… her shame vanished into thin air.

"This is legit sexual harassment! I should call the police… SHIT! I don't have a phone!"

Sigh… thank goodness, she is poor.

Enough with this. I should really apologize before the fire sprea-

"_Ptwee!" _Aqua spitted to the side and slapped away my arm. "Why should I worry about getting choked when it will never reach my throat!?"

* * *

**PAUSE**

* * *

"KEK!"

"Pftttt!" Lalatina barely held her laugh.

"OHHHHHHHH!" Megumin went batshit hysteric.

Damn… she got me. I don't know how she knew my weak point, but she still hit it right in the nuts. Frankly speaking, I'm impressed. That crybaby Aqua had come a long way… You might wonder how I am taking this rather calmly. Welp, what can I say to that? Wouldn't it put you into perspective if you can see your roasted body on the ground? Haha, what should I do? I'm being taken up to the sky. Hahaha, I'm really going someplace else…

SHIT!

""Kazuma!""

Oh, now you worry! Come on, do something! CPR! Yes, CPR! It pains me to think that I have to kiss one of you thots, but I need to liv- …huh, didn't know Lalatina knew this well… and she turned out to be quite bold (the conventional kind). And thanks to her skilled but clumsy attempt at breathing the air into my mouth, I felt my ghostly body being sucked back into my physical one.

* * *

"Ummm…"

Oww… my head hurts… why is my head full of tissues? Did I transform into a mummy? Wait! Does that mean I died? But I'm alive! Just how cool is that!?

"_Ehem!_ You…are…awake."

"Yami!"

"Fit wey are ye throoing a bosie!?"

Man… she's speaking alien again… but it's great to hug Yami! Since we're dating, let me give her a kiss like in all those Disney's!

"Oi mate! Naw nipping!"

"Awww… you wanted a kiss too!"

"Och!"

Should I kiss her lips or her cheeks? Ah! Why not bot-

*BuzZ*

_Hello darkness-_

"EEEEEEEKKK!"

What is that!? What is that sound!? What is it that's giving me so much goosebumps!?

*Slap*

Ouch! Square up! You are the man! Protect Yami at all cost! Oww…

"Hahahahaha!"

"Yami, I know it's scary but don't go crazy!"

"Haha… _HAAAAHHK!"_

"AARRRGGGGHHHHH!"

She is under a curse! If there is any cure for this curse, come now! No, seriously! Come now before she bites off my arm!

*Creak*

"Kazuma, you're awake… sigh, why are you two fighting again?"

"Dad! Help me! He-"

"HAHAHAHAHA! Googe his een oot!"

"AHHH! Why are you trying to bite my eyes!?"

Is it that tiger? Is he the caster of this curse!? Then, I will-

"Sweetheart, you shouldn't disturb a patient, much less your friend."

Huh…? Where is the teeth? Huh!? How come Yami is carrying Yami!? Did she use the shadow clone jutsu? But why is the other one so big? And so pretty…

"You're no better, honey. Why are you fueling a kid's fight?"

"Hmph! It hee's foolt faur tooching ma wee bairn."

"From the look of things, it was our daughter who was touching him, even going so far as to bite him…"

"Naw, mawmmee! Hee es da aune wha cooried mee ferst!"

"Oh my…"

So she's her mommy. No wonder they looked the same. The red hair, the green eyes, the sharp teeth… nah, that's from her daddy.

"Bro, bro."

"Kazuto? You done with your kinder?"

"Why should I be there when it's Sunday?"

"HUH!?"

Yesterday was Thursday! So how is it that it's Sunday overnight!?Is it time travel? But I never rode a lightning fast car…

"Bro, bro."

"What?"

"Hehe, you look like a zombie."

"Nope, I'm a mummy. _Ughhhhhh_…"

"Hehehe, at least, you won't bite."

"I'm not Yami. So why would I bite anyone?"

"_HAAAAHHHKKKK!"_

"Sweety, what's gotten into you?"

…Good thing her mom's here.

"Bro, bro."

"What is it again?"

"It's your first time seeing that very pretty lady, right?"

"Nope! Because she's my wife!"

Hehe, it always feels good to say that!

"WHA ARE YA CAW'ING YER WEIF!?"

"Gosh, honey, he's just a kid. Why are you getting all wary over him? Besides, I'm all yours."

"Urk! _E-Ehem! _Weif, dinnae sey thon in tha public…"

Ewww, it's gross to see that tiger going red. But why do I feel like something is off? I mean, it's so cold all of a sudden…

"Bro, you shouldn't lie. I already know that the lady over there is married to uncle. Right, dad?"

"Kazuto, he will misunderstand if you say, lady. You should have said old fart."

"Haud yer wheesht! Dinnae fed shite into heem! Ah'm s'ill ying enugh to be cawed a lassie!"

I thought her mom was a human… but she turned out to be an alien as well. So Kazuto was talking about her mom and not Yami… Oh no! I have to clear the misunderstanding! Never mind! Because Yami is smiling! But for some reason, it's not cute…

"Ca..."

Ka? Kazuma? I couldn't fully hear her-

*BuzZ*

It's that noise again! Where is it!? Where… oh, it's on my nose.

-_my old friend~_

Ah shit…

"KEK!"

* * *

"_GASP!"_

My eyes shut open as fresh air entered my mouth. With each breath, my vision returned, and, although still blurry, I saw three heads looking down at me: blue, yellow, and black with a mix of two reds. Urk… my chest still retained the pain, perhaps, from the act of stimulating my beatless heart. Soon, my vision cleared, and I found the three idiots with one worried look, one flushed head and one pair of weeping eyes.

Wait… why am I drenched?

"Kazuma!" Aqua cried as she threw herself onto me. "You finally woke up!"

…This is nice. It's not bad that Aqua is actually worr-

"Waa! I'm sorry for saying that you have a tiny weeny! I never thought you were such a chicken! So please, don't die on me in such a pathetic way!"

"KEK!"

My vision slowly darkened… and my heart began to halt.

"A-Aqua!" I barely recognized that it was Lalatina. "I think it's best that you keep quiet."

"Why you…! Just because you smooched him so eagerly doesn't give you any authority here!"

"I didn't smooch him eagerly! I-I just had to make sure that he is resuscitated… It's true, otherwise, he might not live. And you know, time is important in this sort of situation. Also…" Lalatina kept mumbling to herself.

Her shoulders turned inward as her head flushed deep red… and seeing Lalatina shyly shrinking herself like that roused my heart.

"And don't think you revived him all on your own. In fact, my Nature's Beauty did most of the work."

"I'm not sure about that," said Megumin as Lalatina was too engrossed in her search for excuses. "That's just too unscientific."

"You and your material obsession… you know nothing about the power of love!"

"Huh?"

Huh?

Her eyes widened, realizing what she just said. "I-I mean the power of love between friends! Seriously, there's no way I would have any other sort of affection for a man with such a chicken heart!"

Hoh… now I'm being friendzoned by a chimp…

"Don't worry, Roachy. There is no misunderstanding between us. After all, I have never and will never see you as a woman nor my friend."

"You damn NEET…! Why do you spit turds every time you open your mouth!?"

"That's because you're the loo for my poos, you pussyfart!"

"_GASP!" _A silent wind passed by as tears pooled by her eyes, and her mouth started its engine, ready to roar throughout the land. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

As we were busy wrestling each other, Megumin sighed. "I guess this is what happens when two tsunderes enter the bar."

""Who are you calling a tsundere!?""

Megumin shrugged. "Who knows… I'm hungry. Since we're already late, why don't we eat before going back?"

*Grrrrrrrrrrr*

We ceased the fight as our stomachs cheered at Megumin's suggestion. Awkwardly but seamlessly, we went to the bench. We left Lalatina behind as she was still busy in her search for the flawless excuse. Besides, she would like it this way.

"By the way, I take it that you don't have a problem if I don't share my food with you since I'm a tsundere?"

"Wha-! Don't be so cruel with foods!"

Sigh… not that I have much to share with…

* * *

I ran out my classroom and was welcomed by the kind Mr. Sunset… sorry! I have no time for you! I went down the stairs and reached the cafeteria.

The cafeteria was not a strange place to me. I've been here every day since enrollment, hoping to come across a kind stranger, who was willing to become my dear friend. It was tough. Nobody was interested in talking to me nor did I have the courage to talk to any of them. So I strategized. I tried bringing a chessboard and other fun games in hope that others might be interested in playing together… but I ended up playing them all on my own.

But those days are now gone!

"H-Hello!" I did my best to restrain my smile from becoming creepy. "Umm… a-am I late?"

"No, I just arrived as well," she said as she gave me a lovely smile.

Ahh… it's so delightful to have a friend to talk to.

"U-Umm! S-Shall we go then!?"

"Relax. I won't run away… even if I do, I will make sure to wait for you."

"_Hyaw!"_

…Ehehehehehe- keep yourself together, Yunyun! You can't make an embarrassment of yourself in front of your friend!

"M-M-Me too! I will wait for millions of years if it's for my precious friend!"

"I-I see…"

Billions, trillions, quadrillions, quintillions, sextillions, septillions, and for all eternity! I will certainly wait for my beloved friend!

The Lady stood up. "Let's go."

"Yes!"

We left the cafeteria and headed for the student council room.

It feels weird. If she didn't talk to me in the cafeteria just three days ago, then I would certainly have chosen Megumin's club. N-Not that I'm betraying my friend or anything. I'm just making a supposition! But I wonder what that rival of mine is doing… I hope she won't cause any unreasonable trou-

"Ah! Yunyun!"

"Huh? HEEK!"

"Wow, long time no see! Hmm? You don't seem to recognize me… how sad… It's me! It's me! Your long lost childhood friend! It's Satou Kazuma!"

"I've never had a horrible childhood friend such as yourself!"

"What the hell did I even…! Sigh… I knew this wouldn't work…" The horrible man shook his head. He then looked at me and said dully, "I'll cut straight to the point. Megumin is extremely jealous of Serena over there for keeping you all for herself. She was so disheartened that she couldn't even eat properly. She is starting to become a pain in the ass, crying out, 'Oh, Yunyun! My Yunyun! Wherefore art thou Yunyun?'"

"R-Really!?"

"Yes, rea-"

"YOU BALLS POPPING ASSHAT! IMMA FUCKING STICK UP AN EXPLOSION RIGHT UP YOUR ASSHOLE!"

Megumin… I didn't know you had such feelings for me… Ugh… I feel guilty all of a sudde-

"You already know that there's not even a millionth part of me that longs for Yunyun! SO STOP LYING!"

Ha... haha… o-of course, I knew it… I-I was just putting up an act…

"Waaaa! Why is everyone so keen on ruining the plan!? Why are you all so useless!?"

"Not as useless as you, you barfhead!"

"WAAAA! Don't remind me of that, you teenyNEET!"

"Kek!"

The horrible man fell to his knees, and the vomiting woman covered her mouth. She seemed shocked at what she just did to him. She rushed to his side with apologies and Nature's… Nature's Something.

…What is a teeny neat? Just how much of an insult is it that it easily brought him down?

"Yunyun, let's go…!"

"_Hya!"_

M-My friend just h-h-h-held my hand! S-She led me through the noisy corridor and to the-

"Not so fast!" Megumin stood in our way! "Just because you tricked my rival doesn't mean you can trick me too!"

My friend clicked her tongue almost in silence. "Megumin was it? We're quite occupied right now. Can we talk at a later time?"

"Later when you're done with Yunyun? All you're after is the performance, and I can already see you dumping her by the street. I can't allow that. I have no interest in beating her dead corpse!"

"I believe we have a misunderstanding here. Yunyun is my dear friend. Why will I ever abandon her?"

"Flap your mouth all you want now, witch! It won't be long before you're disintegrated in my awesome explosion!" Megumin held a bomb. "Darkness blacker than black… dark-"

*Slap*

A hush abounded the place. Megumin was too stunned that she dropped the bomb.

"Don't talk bad about my friend!"

Megumin turned back to face me with shaky eyes.

"Why should you worry about me when we were never friends to begin with!? Why don't you go to the corner and tweak your explosive and barely pay me attention like you always do!? You're just a rival so don't interrupt my time with my friend!" I turned to my friend and held her hand. "Friend, let's go!"

"Y-Yes!"

I didn't give her another look and walked off to the Student Council Room. I always considered myself to be a pushover, but I've now finally found the limit to my patience. It's only natural. After all, a friend was not something I had until now.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hohoho! Belated Merry Christmas! Hohoho! Early Happy New year! Santa hopes that you had a wonderful Christmas and here's a late present from me. Hope you guys liked it.

Oh, I decided to combine the chapters 1 and 1.5. I've been losing a lot of readers by the first and second chap. Hopefully, it will make things better.

And wow... Hong Kong kept their mass protest for a whole six months now... impressive to say the least. I just pray that China won't go batshit Tiananmen Square.

**LightDust16: **Hehe, I always appreciate your appreciation. Thank you for leaving a comment everytime.

**Alphadelta-23: **I always appreciate a readers appreciation, and I suppose reusing the same line is rather rude. So... Uwu~! Thank you very much for reading my story! And hope that... sorry I can't continue. I was suddenly assaulted by primal disgust and self-hatred. Anyway, thanks for the read.

* * *

**Edit: **Guys! SeE yOu NeXt DeCaDe!


	16. Chapter 13-5 The Calm before the Storm

It was a conniving night. Not that the moon was on high or that the sun had set, but it was dark as night. A quiet plea could be heard in the dark for the room had caged the silence. Everything was shut; there was no escape, not before the two silhouettes. No chatter was present between the two. They just sat around the table with the silence in leash.

Time passed until a creak sounded, whipping the silence to cease. It came from the door being opened, and the auburn rays slid into the room. The room was… normal, based on what seemed on the surface: a table, three chairs, bunch of shelves, boxes, a pair of computers, and a projector. Surely, they must belong to a club that centered its activities on computers… but of course, it's not.

Putting aside the supposed shocking reveal for later, let's delve into those who are present. The two silhouettes turned out to be young boys in their teens. Both had a few similar traits such as their body size and black hair color, albeit, one had it well kempt while the other, sprinkling a bit of exaggeration, seemed to had just came out of a cave. The biggest difference of the two was their eyes. The well-groomed boy had black eyes while the other had hollow, crimson eyes.

The two stared at the figure standing by the door. She was a girl of the same age. Her flowing blonde hair stretched down to her skirt. She had a slim body that fitted well with her uniform. She seemed very attractive… as long as one wasn't aware of the hideous grin plastered over her mouth, which was hidden in the shawdow of the sunset.

As the new figure entered the room, no dialogue was exchanged. They knew all too well not to speak for their works should be hidden. And so, the door was closed, obscuring the room once more.

"Is it done?"

"Completed all twenty."

"Excellent job."

After that brief conversation, a switch sounded in the room, and a beam of light shone against the wall. The light revealed a screen of grey and a horizontal, white bar in the center, or, in short, the password bar. The projector, however, didn't just reveal the meager content, but also the sickening grins of the three.

The girl wore a stern face. "Did you open it while I was out?"

Her concern was inevitable. They were young boys in the prime time of their testosterone. To be frank, she herself might not be able to endure through it all. It would be akin to waving a pack of foods in front of a bunch of African kids. Ok that was too dark of a humor… and that was racist. Whoever says it should be canceled and hanged with a rope made of tweets.

"Huhuhu," the crimson-eyed boy chuckled creepily, "your worries are unfound before our loyalty. I can bet my balls that we didn't open it up in your absence."

"He is right," the black-eyed boy agreed. "After all, we put…"

""Balls before hoes!""

Laughters broke out within the room. It made no sense and was rather disgusting, but it cleared her doubt. It even left a sense of kinship in her heart. Truly, what great assholes they are.

"Say, Dust… can you flash your panties?"

There was now one less laughter in the room.

"Keith… didn't know you were a homo."

"There is a great saying out there, and I quote, 'It doesn't matter what the gender is as long as it's jackable.'"

"A great quote, I'd agree, unless I am the one who has to…," Dust trailed off, pondering. "You think it will sell?"

Keith applauded. "Damn! I knew I was but a lowly trash, but you're on a whole another level!"

"_Ehem! _I-I think I would buy it," said the crimson-eyed boy.

The silence overpowered its masters and reigned supreme over them. There were no words to sufficiently describe the chill creeping under their skin.

"B-Bukkororii… you are joking right?" asked Dust, sweat soaking his blouse shirt. He never thought that a potential asshole lover was so nearby.

"H-Huh? O-Of course, I was just joking. I-I need no pictures other than Soketto's."

"You still into her?" said Keith. "You should really graduate before you have any feelings for her."

Indeed, for a Guren villager, he stayed a year too long in the high school. He needs to straighten up and pursue her into the college before the older men makes her forget about little boys.

"But… I can sort of see why Bukkororii wants your pic. "I said I was joking!" If I didn't know how much of an asshole you are, then I would have ordered one right away. I mean, I never imagined you being into crossdressing and be damn good at it."

"Nah, I wasn't," Dust answered. "It just hit me that day. What if I lost all my memories and thought that I was a girl? Would people treat me as a girl? I wouldn't, but they can't blame me if I enter the girl's restroom. And I remembered that we can do that without the memory loss!"

Keith applauded once more. "What a brilliant asshole! I never thought importing western dumpster fire could ever work in our favor!"

"Eh, it didn't work out as well as I thought it would. You already know that girls' network is fast. It didn't even take a day for a rumor about me to spread. If it wasn't for my injury as an excuse, then I would be in jail already."

"Still, my hats off to you for the bravery." Keith gave a gentleman bow.

"You have my respect as well." Bukkororii also gave a bow.

"Hahahaha! If I can get praises like these, then crossdressing ain't so bad!"

But of course, the real benefit lied not in getting the respect but in receiving the benefit of the doubt from women, instead of outright jailing that ass into the dungeon of asshole stretchers.

"Hahaha…," Dust went silent for a moment, "so when are we opening it?"

What a great question. Just when are these bunch of fools entering the password?

"Huhuhu, the time has come for us to open the Pandora's Box! What is hidden beneath the layer of protection? What kind of crevices and valleys shall we-"

"Cut the crap and open it!" Dust shouted impatiently. He had been working on this for the past three days all on his own with all the risk weighing down on him. It's only natural for him to be so impatient, but it's still strange that it suddenly spiked.

Bukkororii was skilled in computers, not that entering a lengthy password in a split second was any proof of that. But he was responsible for most of the gadgets in the boxes lying around in the corner, such as the couple of drones and the bunch of hidden cameras. Okay, computer skills are not entirely related to making these things. So let's just say that he has a set of skills necessary to make them.

Anyhow, the enter key was pressed, and everyone held their balls. The screen flashed brightly but no one present were willing to take their eyes off. They stared at it despite the risk of blindness like the suicidal moths they were.

"Ahh… ahh…! The Utopia… the Utopia is…!"

A short moment of excitement passed as the shocking revelation was unveiling itself. Even so, the hints laid out made it no less surprising than the fact that water is wet. The blinding flash slowly subsided, and boxes of ten were revealed… but what's this? All the boxes showed nothing but static screens.

"Huh? Some kind of bug?" asked Dust.

"Impossible!"

Exactly! How could a computer, handled by Bukkororii, ever contain a bug? Bukkororii proceeded to load the next batch of ten. This time, they were different. There were three boxes that weren't static, and they displayed a locker room in different angles. Upon seeing this, Bukkororii collapsed onto his chair.

Dust stood up. "Those are the ones I installed just now… w-where are the others? Where the hell are they!?" Dust began to grasp the gravity of the situation. He felt as though a huge rock fell onto his gut. With trembling hands, he shook Bukkororii by the shoulders. "Tell me… tell me where they are!"

"Like I know! Let me ask you instead. Just how badly did you place them that they've already been taken away!? Do you know how much they cost!?"

"Don't you throw dirt on my name!"

"Your name has no room to get anymore dirty!"

"Oh, you called for it!"

A brawl broke out between the two idiots. Should Bukkororii had a calm mind, he might have enjoyed this situation. After all, being in such close proximity with a beautiful girl (at least on the surface) never occurred in his short life. But the loss proved to be more painful than he ever thought, to the point that he had no problem throwing a punch straight into that pretty face.

In contrast to the amalgamation of sky-high ego and rationale that's yet to surface, Keith sat on his chair with a calm contemplation. He nodded to himself and went to replay one of the boxes.

Soon, a box displayed a restroom. There were no urinal pots as there were no person in the room… until a door opened. A woman of busty ass boobs and plump as hell butt entered, and, for some reason, she had a grim look to her face.

"Wiz?"

At the mention of her name, the two idiots paused their fight and turned to look at the screen. With silent agreement, they took their seats.

Dust felt his heart flutter. _Sweet!_ His primary prey fell right on his trap! Even though it wouldn't last for long, at least, he got what he wanted the most. Suddenly, he felt a shiver ran down his spine as he had found himself being stared at by the predatory eyes of the said prey. _Gasp!_ _Don't tell me…!_ Before he could complete his thought, the box went static.

Silence grew in the room. It grew bigger and bigger the more they replayed box after box. Every time they saw Wiz and the following static screen, they shuddered and shrank until no one was big enough to voice a word. Thus, the silence devoured the room.

Meanwhile in the other part of the school, there was another conniving night. Well, it was well lit by the sunset, but it was conniving nonetheless.

Aqua stared at Megumin, who sat across her. "No second thoughts?"

Megumin stared back with a determined look, which seemed more red than usual. "None."

"Great," Aqua said as she smiled mysteriously.

Aqua then went on to unfold the curtains, shrouding themselves from the daylight. Nobody except a few knew what was discussed or devised in that room. Only time would tell.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Damn! I'm early! It's as though I'm not myself! But it's as short as the amount of time I put into it.

I'm just thinking how I got myself stretching a sports festival arc (which doesn't seem like a sports festival arc at all) into so many chapters and words... but I'm excited to write the next chapter because it will go crazy big time. I don't think it can topple the chapter 8's craziness but it would be one of the craziest shit I will ever write.

On a side note, I've found myself weirded out by Alice in SAO. I mean, she is not excited at the sight of goblins charging at her. It was so weird. She never, not even once, panted like she usually does. She's acting all serious but my body feels as though she would jump in anytime into the hordes of goblins with a full smile on her face. It's really weird.

**VadaImilai:** Oh, Kazuma has more coming to him in the future... which I still have no concrete plan for.

**fwterrorista: **¡Gracias! Me encanta el dúo idiota haciendo sus cosas idiotas. Pero creo que tengo que agregar más especias, ¡y me refiero al harén! P.S. Este es el traductor de Google.


	17. Chapter 14 Sports Fest with a BANG! (4)

A slap in the face and a harsh scorn? Now that's something I don't want coming my way. It's just too much to go through for a sensitive lad like me. In all seriousness, I probably should lend a hand. It was tough for me, much less for a little girl.

I sighed at the thought of a certain wacko as I was walking home alone, which was great. Now, I got some peace and the warm sunset all to myself.

I'm not lonely. I really am n… what is she doing there?

A graceful maid, who knew no man, no world, and no abomination, yet a cruel thorn for those men who came close… what is she doing inside an arcade? And where is that bitchyassguard of hers?

Welp, by the time I was wondering that, I was already inside the dark arcade and heading toward the silver white lady, who was mowing down a horde of zombie with just a pistol.

She seemed to be in it, so much so that I was able to sneak up to her neck and whisper a greeting, "Yo."

"Kya!"Eris let out a weird shriek, unbecoming of her maiden character. The maid, now out of her graceful attitude, swung her plastic gun out of twitch reaction.

And I, out of my own twitch reaction, raised my hands. The gun was swiftly approaching, but catching it was a piece of- "KEK!"

…Right, this wasn't some manga, where bullshit like catching a swinging weapon without much fitness nor training can happen.

"Kazuma? Why are you here? I-I mean why did you do something so creepy!?"

"Rather than groundlessly calling my innocent act creepy, why don't you offer me an apology? Don't you see how my nose is bleeding?"

"Oh… sorry about that." Eris offered an awkward apology, and reluctantly came close with a handkerchief in hand. "Use this. This is all I can offer you for now." Eris then gave a wry smile, "But you were still creepy."

The blood ran down to my upper lip and slipped into my mouth… yeah, it tastes like a creep.

"Ugh… sorry and thanks." I received the handkerchief and used it to wipe the blood. Although the blood plugged my nose, I was able to catch a tiny whiff. A warm aroma struck me, arousing even more blood out of my nose.

"Excuse me, that's unsettling as well."

"…Sorry."

After blocking my nose with a tissue from the still plentiful tissue packs, I noticed that Eris, despite losing midgame due to my intervention, still got a high score.

"You know, I never thought you'd play a game, let alone be good at it."

Eris smiled rather confidently. "Why? Is there a problem for me to score high in a game?"

"Not really, but won't your pads be in the wa-"

Eris jumped in, her face deep red. She placed a finger to her mouth as she hushed, "Shh! Shhh! Don't mention that in the public!" She looked around to make sure no one heard it.

But… like any arcade out there, the place was filled with loud pew pews bang bangs. So even if I say, "Not mention about what? About your pads?" There will be no one but Eris to hear it.

"Shhhhhh!"

I guess she will never realize that this kind of reaction does nothing but to excite me even further. But going further would be too cruel. I should be civil like the bunch of guys in the distance, all glaring at me.

"Enough, lady. I'm tired of your usual reaction."

"Hear you speak! I'm the one who's tired of your… where are you going!? We aren't done here!"

Away from her yappidy yap, I sat down before a game and looked back to Eris. "Why don't we finish our business the gamer way?"

It seemed I caught her by surprise, but she was quick to sport a confident smile. "You will regret it."

I returned one of my own. "Heh, right back at ya."

Eris sat beside me and set her eyes on the screen. "If I win, you will stop committing perverted acts."

"Believe it or not, most of them perverted acts were accidents."

"As if I could believe that."

Damn girl, am I that untrustworthy?

"Alright then, we will go on a date once I beat you to the ground."

Wait, playing a game in an arcade sounds a lot like a date already.

Eris was literally taken aback as she covered her chest. "So you were planning to do perverted acts after all!"

"Why was 'date' translated to doing perverted acts!?"

"Because you're inexplicably perverted!"

"More like your sense of outlook is corrupted to the point that you would make a nonsexual word sexual! You closet pervert!"

"_Gasp! _Y, You…! You will regret saying that." Eris set her focus back onto the screen. From what I saw through the dim light, her face was as flushed as it could be.

[GET READY FOR THE NEXT BATTLE]

Of course, I chose Yomishitsu, and Eris chose… Mojukin. I don't know just how confident she is, but I'm so gonna mop the floor with her padless chest.

[ROUND 1. FIGHT!]

Here comes the kamikaze strike! She Dodged! Follow up strike! Countered! Shit!

My character flew into the air, and her combo swooped in immediately. Chainsaws emerged from the wooden arms and hacked through me. By the time I got back to my feet, after another round of combo, my life points fell to the point that my character was raged. But no amount of rage was able to bring her down.

[K.O.]

Alisha, huh… I'll admit that she was good with her, but what she chose was Mojukin. I refuse to believe that she will still be as good with the next character.

[ROUND 2. FIGHT!]

Chainsaws emerged out of… "Alisha again?!"

I heard a chuckle beside me. "I'm puzzled myself. Every time I choose Mojukin, I get to play as Alisha."

Don't talk so nonchalantly while kicking my ass!

[K.O.]

"FUCK!"

My seemingly short-tempered shout was a deliberate attempt to scare her, but she brushed it off like it was nothing.

[ROUND 3. FIGHT!]

I played safe this time, keeping distance and waiting for any mistakes she would make. But my hopes were cut into pieces by the chainsaws.

At this rate… she leaves me no choice.

"You know what? I knew from the beginning that you would choose Mojukin."

She didn't let up her attack as she answered, "How so?"

"Because it's as flat as you!"

I didn't spare her a look but could easily tell that Eris was disturbed. Her superb control and game sense just weren't there. In the end, she couldn't recover before my flurry of attacks and met her first defeat.

[K.O.]

Glancing to the side, I found Eris looking around to make sure no one heard me. Looking around myself, I found the guys around us, barely holding onto their poker face.

Eris sighed in relief, missing the obvious clues. She then puffed her red cheeks as she faced me with a teary look. "You're cruel… Please don't do that again."

"Sure."

[ROUND 4. FIGHT!]

"Pads!" screaming out my victory line, I closed in toward the Mojukin, who was doing some Brazilian drunken style. Eris tried to put up a fight, but she wasn't as strong with the Brazilian spinner. And coupled with her panic…

[K.O.]

I gave her a wide smirk. "Heh, you're nothing without Alisha."

"…You will pay for that," she said through gritted teeth, her hands shaking with shame and anger.

[ROUND 5. FIGHT!]

Here comes another one! "Pa- KEK!"

What was that? My vision blacked out for a second there, and, now, I'm on the floor. My head hurts… wait, what about the ga-

[YOU LOSE]

I followed the sound of defeat and found Eris, glaring at me. Lowering my sight, I also found her bag in her hand.

I shot a finger toward her infuriating face. "You cheated!"

Eris snapped her head away from me. "Hmph, you're one to talk."

"Violence and truth aren't the same! Hitting me in the face and spreading the truth about your pa- KEK!"

Hitting me again in the face didn't seem enough. She had to give me an earful as well. "I told you not to say it! And now that I'd won, you should refrain from any perverted acts."

"The bet is not counted! Not before your filthy cheating!"

"You don't deserve to say that!"

"Oh I deserve it, alright! All I said was that you wear pa- KEK!" My vision blacked out again, leaving behind a burning pain on my face. When my vision came back, I found Eris with pooling tears, ready to swing her bag. "WAI- KEK!"

"How "KEK!" many times "KEK!" do I have to tell you "KEK!" not to say it!?"

Why "KEK!" are women "KEK!" always so "KEK!" violent!?

"STAHP!" I screamed as I caught her bag.

"Let go!"

"If I do, you'll reduce my face to a bloody pulp! Give me this bag!"

"Kya!" It seemed I placed too much force into it, to the point that Eris let out a tiny squeal as she fell on top of me…

Ahh, the soft flesh of a woman, pulpous enough for me to forgive her…

"Y-You did it again!" Eris, the one who fell on top of me, just had to shout something incomprehensible.

And I, the victim, the one who had been pummeled to the ground and deceptively blamed for this mess, had to teach her a lesson. "Dear lady, allow me to tell you that you're sticking me the blame which is clearly yours."

"You pulled my bag!"

"Which was done in order to put a stop to your unseemly conducts. But don't worry. I wholly understand. After all, your head is as empty as your chest and your graceful front is but a farce just like your pa- KEK!"

This violent wench! I'll show you just what it's like to provoke a man!

"STEAAAAAAAAL!"

Sike! I didn't even hold the bag! Instead, I swooped in amidst her panic, bear hugging her! She no longer had the room to hit me! Now! Now…! Now… I'm screwed now aren't I?

Slowly, I realized that her pads pressed against my chest, and that her soft bottom sat upon my lap. "_Sniff…!" _her sniffle sounded just a breath away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So please… don't ravage me."

Guilt brewed within me, hearing her terrified plea, and dread ran down my spine, seeing the angry crowd gathering around.

Oh, her head fell on my shoulder, fainted. Dead that I am now.

"You little piece of shit!"

I don't know who said it, but it commenced my doom. The crowd separated us, carefully waking her up and roughly binding me to a chair. I also don't know where they got their pitchforks and torches from, but they gave me the clear message that my end was nigh.

Being on the receiving end of the countless murderous glares, I closed my eyes. Although fake, I got to enjoy boobs, and that's all that matters.

"Begin the execution."

Among the clamor of people, I heard hurried footsteps closing in.

"Wait!"

I opened my eyes at the shout and found a silvery figure before me, standing against the angry crowd.

"What are you doing to him!?"

The crowd went speechless. How could they not, when the victim stood for me, the assailant?

"Didn't he attack you?"

"Huh?" Eris was startled, proceeding to touch all over her body. "My panti- I mean I'm completely fine. So please don't use me as an excuse to hurt my friend."

…As long as it works, I guess.

The crowd was reluctant, but, at Eris' persistent persuasion, they eventually dispersed.

"Sigh." Eris turned around and gave me an exhausted smile. "What did you do this time?"

At her innocent smile, I could only return a sigh. "Just bad luck."

She made a wry smile and untied me. As I got up and caressed my sore arms, Eris tapped my side. "Kazuma, it's not usual for us to meet in an arcade. So, how about a game?" She pointed to the seat we warmed up just now.

I smiled at her kind offer. "No thanks."

I went out the arcade and resumed my walk home. Just like last time, I've got a person following me, coupled with the guilt. It was an act to protect myself, but the trembling I felt in my hold was still too vivid.

Unlike her, I may never forget how soft she fe- I mean, how much I hurt her.

I turned to my side. "Hey, you don't have to follow me. You can enjoy your time in the arcade."

Eris returned a kind smile. "Oh, it's fine."

"I see. Anyway, sorry." I gave a small but sharp bow. There was no restraint in it as guilt had oiled my joints.

Eris made a troubled face. "You don't have to be sorry. You see, I wasn't able to meet an online friend lately in _the _game. So I just wanted to let loose a little."

"Hold up, you play _the_ game?"

Eris' blue eyes sparkled at the mention of _the_ game. "Of course. I may not look like it, but I'm a gamer. I wouldn't miss the opportunity to play _the_ best VRMMO game yet."

"Nice. I also play _the_ game… but can't do so lately due to stuff. Wanna team up once I can?"

Eris sported an excited smile. "Sure, why not? What is your ID?"

"Katou. How about yours… What's wrong?" I waved my hand in front of her petrified face, but she still couldn't recover.

Once I snapped my fingers, Eris snapped out of it as well. "O-Oh, right, Katou… right."

"Eris? Where are you going?" Eris kept mumbling and nodding to herself as she wondered off. I caught up to her. "Hey, aren't you gonna tell… would you stop for a sec!?"

I tried to catch her by the shoulder, but what's this? She started running, and, as if by fate, the bus arrived. Off into the bus she went, and I was hot on my heels. Upon the first step into the bus, however, I was reminded.

How much did I use in the arcade…?

"Eris!" I shouted into the backseats. "Can you lend me some-" I was cut in short as I was pushed out by the driver.

He stood by the entrance, looking down at me, whose annoyed and fed up expression looked quite familiar.

"You're worse than I thought, worse than just some prankster. Get out of my sight before I call the police," said the fucker, still as clueless as he was a few weeks ago.

"Wait! You have a misunderstanding! She and I are…," I trailed off as my entry was blocked by the cold, hard door. Seeing the bus off into the sunset, I muttered into the lone road, "friends…"

* * *

A group of students stood in rows on the sandy field as the cold winds bit into our skin. If it weren't for the early sun atop the mountains, we would've been frozen stiff like a statue.

Sena stood in front of the group with a sharp gaze directed at us. "Attention! Today marks the 30th Sports Festival of the Akuseru High School. As helpers, we must be sharp and fast…," her words drifted into the wind, and I didn't even bother to catch it. She was just reiterating what we should be doing today, anyway.

A yawn stretched beside me. Looking to the side, I found Aqua standing there as she rubbed her baggy eyes. She was still wearing the blue necklace despite being in her sports uniform, which just didn't match well together. I turned to the other side before I heard another yawn, and, as expected, Megumin stood there with a wide open mouth, yawning without a semblance of shame.

"Did you two stay up all night?" asked I.

"No," said Aqua, her lie as clear as the sky above.

"Heh, it was worth it." Megumin, on the other hand, was honest as she made a tired yet satisfied grin.

I smirked. "Porn?"

Shame reddened her face. "N-No! I would never-"

"Silence!"

The three of us quicky straightened ourselves and zipped our mouths. After staring at us for a while, Sena continued her speech.

"As expected of a NEET. Porn is the first thing that comes to your mind." Aqua yawned again.

I shrugged my shoulders. "So what did you guys do?"

Aqua gave a glance. "Sorry, I know you're feeling lonely for keeping you out, but this needs to remain a secret."

"W-Who says I'm lone-!"

"Silence!"

We adjusted our posture in an instant at the sound of her strict reproach. Sena then gave us a warning and continued.

Aqua gave me an annoyed look. "Would you stop making noises? I'm getting scolded along with you."

"She is right. Stop troubling us," Megumin added, the blush still on her face.

Sigh, they're right. Can't get mad at them when I was the one causing troubles.

I turned to look at Megumin, who seemed rather fine. "Hey, Megumin, you uhh… alright?"

A surprise took her eyes, and she looked away, hiding her face. "I'm fine. Thank you."

I sighed at the clear sign, and caught a glimpse of silvery figure at the corner of my eyes. When I turned to it, I found Eris gazing at me, but she averted it immediately.

She's been like this since yesterday, avoiding me like a plague. Perhaps her amnesia malfunctioned, and she remembered the horror that befell her.

"Good morning, Ms. Wiz," said Sena as she bowed to the side, where Wiz walked in.

"Good morning," said Wiz as she formed a smile, which seemed as though her stomach was churn-**RESET**\- as calm as her angelic heart. Suddenly, her dumb hair spiked and pointed at me. She then began scurrying toward me.

Why is she coming to me with such a horrify-**RESET**\- pleasing face!? Ms. Wiz, my beautiful, wonderful, best of the best teacher! I have done nothing wrong!

Wiz paused in her track as a blush took over her. That reassuring scene didn't last long as she cleared her throat and resumed walking. I was alarmed at her closing in, but she went past me without making an eye contact.

"Where did you get that necklace?" Wiz asked threateningly toward Aqua.

"Huh!? Is there a rule against wearing necklace!? NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS! THIS IS MINE!" Aqua fell to the ground, crying and curling herself to protect the necklace, having the usual seizure.

Wiz stared long into the pitiful sight. "I won't confiscate your necklace. You just have to show m-"

"You're lying! You'll snatch it out of jealousy, because you never got a gift from a man!"

Wow… is that necklace much more important than her life?

Death aura stormed the field shortly after, leading to the screams of Aqua and the others.

"KYAAAAA!" I screamed too as her death rays landed on me.

"Where did you get the necklace?" asked Wiz, holding Aqua by her nape despite her fierce struggle.

I slapped myself to regain composure. Calm and good judgement were needed to get through this.

I smiled confidently. "Out of my heart- KEK!" I was pummeled to the ground as soon as I gave my answer.

"Take your joke somewhere else," she said, her voice as ghastly as that of a devil. She then grabbed my nape and forced her devilish face close to mine.

I couldn't even scream before the blood-filled eyes. Even so, despite my wild trembling, I had to quickly answer. Otherwise, her cold grip would crush my neck!

"I-I got it in a lotto."

"From who?"

"A weird m-masked guy."

The devil stared long into me. What felt like an eternity passed once I fell to the ground. My sore butt made me realize that I was alive, which brought a tear to my eye.

Aqua and I saw each other's pitiful state: all ravaged and tearful. We crawled to each other's embrace.

"Aqua, I-I was so scared…!"

"Me too! Me too!"

"Am I really alive?"

"Your heart's beating. You're definitely alive."

"I can feel yours too. It's so warm…"

Suddenly, we felt the cold creep up our backs. We found that Wiz was glaring deathly at us. Before the dreadful sight, we couldn't do anything but to squeeze each other even harder.

"Kazuma! What do we do!?"

"Like hell I'd know!"

Shit! Even as we speak, the dev-**RESET**\- angel is closing in! Why do I always have to get beaten whenever we come to face!? I should just shove Aqua to the fro-

"Ms. Wiz!" Eris went to hold Wiz back. "I think you're overreacting. There's no rule against wearing accessories in the school."

"She's right," Sena chimed in. "If anyone's breaking the rules, it's…," Sena flinched as the eyes of abyss slid to her side, but she didn't back down from it, "…you."

A short moment passed until Wiz retracted her death rays and walked away.

Eris helped Sena to stand up and glanced at me. Our eyes met for a moment, but she averted hers immediately and scurried away.

Sena came to us and cleared her throat. "Are you two alright?"

Aqua and I looked at each other, and only now did we realize that we were… a bit too close. We took some distance right away.

"I-I'm fine," said I.

"Y-Yeah, same here," said Aqua.

Sena nodded. "Good. Although Ms. Wiz was going over the board again, you two shouldn't have provoked her."

"Exactly, when will you two ever learn that?" said Megumin, appearing now that Wiz was gone.

I stared at Megumin, my very good friend. There were many things I wanted to say about how she hid herself in our times of need, but I sighed instead.

Sena returned to her place and continued to speak, "It's almost time. Make sure to behave properly in front of the parents and visitors. Now, can I get a yes?"

""Yes~,"" the group, mostly boys, answered lazily.

Sena sighed, seemingly having a headache.

"Everyone," a maiden voice like a morning breeze, like a warm ray of light, grabbed our attention, "let us do our most to make this festival an enjoyable event."

Silence swept the field until… ""YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!"" everyone cried their agreement toward the Lady. I could also make out a rather over-the-top, high-pitch cheer, which definitely belonged to a certain Guren villager. And another relatively-less-developed villager didn't seem to like that.

* * *

*BANG* the starter pistol signaled the start of the race. The racers dashed forth with all their might as the people broke into cheers.

One racer, a strapping lad, took the lead. He stretched the gap on and on, until he eventually crossed the line, leaving behind another bouts of high pitch cheers. There were some, mostly boys, giving him the boo. I was one of them, even ready to throw some shit at his needlessly radiant smile, but I had to restrain myself for I was holding the sign of the second-place.

The lad approached the first-place sign holder. "Lady Aqua! I've won!"

Aqua pinched her nose and took a step back. "Errr… Mitsugeru? It's great that you've won, but can you keep a distance? You reek of sweat." Aqua shooed him away.

"That's not my name…" Mitsuguru sighed as his shoulders sagged.

I heard a guy gasping for air, jugging toward me. When I turned to greet the next winner… "_Tch!" _I automatically clicked my tongue.

The Shitstain scowled. "You looking for fight?"

"Do you have a brain? At your current state, you're only worth two jabs."

"Oh, wanna try me!?" The Shitstain closed in.

I stood against him. "Challenge accepted, shitface! I wi- kek!"

As I went through the sore pain on my head, the assailant spoke, "Won't you ever stay calm? Be like me, graceful and well-behaved. To think that you warned me not to cause any trouble when here you are, all worked up… shameful it is."

And here I am being lectured by a poisonously blue haired bitch… truly, shameful it is.

"Lady Aqua, look! I'm second!" The shitstain grabbed the sign and proudly showed it to her.

"Yeah, yeah, stay where you are. I don't need another sticky, smelly guy near me."

"Oh..." The imaginary tail that wagged so wildly flopped.

[[The racers are all in! The winners are…]] The commentator went through the first three winners and gave them flatteries. [[The next game is the three-legged race. Racers, please get ready.]]

Our first shift had finally ended. Aqua and I happily greeted the next helpers, who came to replace us. As we left the place, the two simps stuck to Aqua, but some underclasswomen, who were both good looking, took Mitsuwhatever away while the gyaru, whom I've encountered back in the Karaoke, dragged the unwilling Shitstain.

We shook our heads at the sorry sight and returned to the place allocated for our classmates. I sat down under a tree, and Aqua came to sit beside me as she fanned herself.

"How many more do we have to do this?" Aqua asked.

I wondered as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. "About two."

She let out a long yawn. "Curses…," she mumbled as she rested her head on my shoulder, much to my surprise.

She is oddly touchy lately. It's not bad, more like good, to be honest… but hey, I won't fall for traps like this. She would just make fun of my reactions like always. Yup. Definitely. If I just turn around, she will be looking back at me with a smirk on her face and say, 'gotcha!'

Heh, I'm not falling for th-

"_Snore~"_

…Err, it's a trap all the same.

With a sigh, I relaxed myself. I don't know what she was doing last night, but it must have put a lot of toll on her. Lending a shoulder was the least I could do.

*BuzZ*

"_Gasp!" _

I jumped at the dearly familiar noise, containing scores of frequencies coalesced into a piercing whiz. My eyes darted here and there but couldn't find the source.

[[Class 2-D.]]

The commentator's call woke me out of my panic.

[[If your racers won't be present in 5 minutes, you will be automatically disqualified.]]

I no longer took heed of the announcement as I was unrelated to the matter. Resuming my search for the noise was far more important… but I found a classmate instead.

"Hey, are you free?" she asked.

I couldn't reply right away as I found it strange for someone, whom I've never spoken to, to suddenly strike a chat. It's more likely that she was calling out to someone else.

"Umm, are you free?" she asked again, now a bit awkward.

I pointed myself. "You mean me?" After seeing her nod, I answered, "Yeah, I'm free."

"Great! You see, we're lacking people for the race, two, in fact. So we were wondering if you two could run the race."

"Me and Aqua?"

"Yes. You two are close anyway."

"Ugh… I can't guarantee winning though."

She smiled with a reassuring warmth. "No need to worry about that. We're the ones troubling you after all."

If there's no weight on my shoulder… "Alright then, we will run."

"And on whose permission?"

I turned to the voice and found Aqua laying on the ground, clearly displeased. The sight of the large lump on her head was enough to figure out why she had such a sour face.

"I'm not up for it 'cause my head hurts and I'm tired! Get back here, you shutinNEET! Caress my head and lend me your lap! Give me the treatment I deserve!"

I turned back to the girl and gave a wry smile. "You heard her… Is anyone available? I'm still willing to run."

"Oh, thank you." The girl pondered for a short while. "I think I'm the only one left. Would that be alright with you?"

Hmm... she doesn't seem particularly pretty, but she's kind and respectful unlike a certain selfish, lordly, whiny bitch.

"You? Dream on. As if Kazuma would ever accept your obvious seduc-"

I smiled brightly. "No problem!"

"Waaah! How could you!?" The bitch grabbed my leg.

I forced my leg off of the bitch's arms and led the way to the field… until the bitch grabbed ahold of me once more.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I will run with you so please don't leave me!" Aqua struggled as she kept my waist in her hold.

"Sigh… sorry for the trouble," said I to the kind girl, who was panicking before the forlorn sight.

She barely made a smile. "I-I'm fine."

The girl left me with a band and quickly ran off. After a long look at the back of the woman, I looked down at the pitiful sight of a wahmen. And to her, who looked up to me like a poor dog, I could only sigh.

"WAAAAAAH!"

No longer willing to stomach her wail, I helped her up, wiped her tears, and blew her nose. I wondered just what wrongs I've done to have ended up here… but when I saw her smile, my little complaint faded away.

We ran toward the field at the commentator's last warning and lined up along the racers.

Aqua made a cheeky smug. "Be grateful, Kazuma. You get to have the privilege of getting all close with me."

As a form of answer, I nonchalantly banded our legs, Aqua on the left and I on the right, and placed my arm around her shoulder with complete indifference.

She flinched at the touch. "H-Hey! Don't get so touchy all of a sudden!"

I didn't even bother to call out on her hypocrisy as I readied myself for the race. Aqua, sensing my seriousness, readied herself as well, and we waited for the signal under bated breath.

*BANG*

I stretched my right leg as she did her right leg as well… wait-

""KEK!""

We fell flat on our face and got all tangled up.

"You damn NEET, can't you do it properly!?"

"Me!? It's clearly your fault, dumbass!"

[[Class 2-D had fell! They should get back to the race quickly or they will have no hope for the win!]]

The loud commentary woke us out of our conflict. We hurried up and steadied our footing.

"Listen, tied leg first," I suggested.

"Tied leg first." Aqua nodded.

We took a few steps to catch the rhythm and upped the pace once we got used to it. It didn't take long for us to jog. Even so, the other racers were too far ahead to catch up, save for a few teams.

"Let's speed up some more," Aqua suggested. "We will end up last at this rate."

"Alright, just make sure to keep-"

*BuzZ*

I stopped dead in my track and quickly searched for the source of the noise.

"Kazuma, what's wrong? You look pale," said Aqua, too worried to question my sudden stop.

"Nothing…"

I shook my head and resumed the run. Though its whereabouts was still unknown, being on the run was much better than standing sti-

"Ah."

A pair of utter darkness sat aloof amidst the golden mane. Two deadly whips hung about as the hideous jaws opened left and right, roaring silence into the air, "_Hello darkness my old friend~"_

RUN!

"EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Kazuma, slow down! I can't keep up!" Aqua urged under her breath.

I faced Aqua, desperate for help. "BEBEBEBE! BEBEEBEBEEBE!"

"Chill! I don't get what you're saying!"

I slapped my face to get a hold of myself. "B… Bee…"

"Bee? Now that you mention it, I can sort of hear it."

I shook my head. "No, it's not an ordinary bee. It's…"

"It's?"

"It's Beeing X."

Aqua seemed confused, 'What's with this NEET talking like some sociopathic, little girl, who has an unhealthy amount of obsession over some god?' written on her face, but I wasn't the least bit willing to waste time explaining the origin of the name.

"I'll just get rid of it. So slow down, ok?" She took out a fan and… "Nature's Beauty!"

Water stretched to the air, only to hit nothing but the ground. Shameless it was that I expected anything out of her.

"That bee's much agile than it seems... Nature's Beauty: Twister!"

"Whoa! How did you spin the water midair!?"

Aqua sported a boastful smile. "Heh, a magic loses its _magic_ once its trick is revealed. So I won't tell… it dodged!?"

As usual, amazing but useless…

*BuzZ*

OH CRAP! It's closing in!

"Aqua keep doing the water thing!"

"I'm not some kind of dispenser! Why don't you use your little spray, huh!? Oh, wait-"

"I TOLD YOU! It's Beeing X! It won't work! Besides, do you like to puke your bowels out again!?"

"Urk!" A clear disapproval was on her face. "Nature's Beauty: Hydro Pump!"

As the name suggests, a turbulent gush shot toward Beeing X. It was larger, faster, and stronger than anything Aqua had ever conjured before. Even Beeing X wouldn't come out of it unscathed… and that little piece of shit just did a freaking triple barrel roll!

"What kind of bee is that!?" Aqua cried in absolute disbelief.

And I, out of all hope, went completely nuts. "I'M DOOMED! I'M FUCKED! I-"

[[And Class 2-D won the third place!]]

"won…?"

The sudden announcement took me out of my panic. When I came to my senses, I was already cheered upon along with Aqua.

We stood still in blank wonder until… "Nature's Beauty!" Aqua responded to the crowd with her trick, which elicited even more cheers.

A sort of excitement seized my body. Being cheered at was a rare thing after all. But only when I saw a tiny bug settling up my nose did I realize that it wasn't the excitement that gripped me. It was the sheer dread, an inevitable reality, that I had refused to take my eyes on.

"Kek."

* * *

"There, there, Kazuma. You must've been so scared. It's alright. Everything's alright. I'll always be here for you," Aqua whispered sweet words into my ears as she caressed my head.

"That Beeing X, you know? It stung me. It's not even the first time it'd happen. It's always out there to get me. It's cruel. I've never done anything to it and yet…," I kept mumbling to distract myself from the still burning pain up my patched nose.

"_Hah, hah,_ how I envy your susceptibility to pa…ne."

"What was with that pause?" said Megumin, deapan. "But I never thought getting stung by a bee would cause such a breakdown."

I shook my head in disapproval. She doesn't know what she's talking about. It's common sense that a person would go nuts, once he's stung by a bee. Oh, the mistake was mine. I shouldn't have expected common sense from the atypical.

As I needlessly brooded over her casual remark, Aqua laughed playfully. "Stop that. It tickles."

The great silver lining was that I have finally found her use. Actually, rediscovered would be a better way to put it, since I've seen this version of Aqua in the past, though only once. If it takes a mere breakdown to make her smile like that, then I might be more willing to throw myself to the whims of fate.

Anyhow, the usual four, including me, were on a mat. We gathered ourselves for lunch, but we weren't the only ones.

"Thank you so much for taking care of my son," said mom. "He has always been helpless against bees. I really don't know what I would do without you. Just thinking of pampering this big boy myself…" Mom shook her head.

Aqua heartily laughed. "It's fine. He's cute when he's like this."

Cute… that's new.

"Kazuma," my father called out, "how long will you be on the floor? Me and your mother have to go after lunch, remember? Sigh… at least, you've found a new friend to take care of you when you're down."

"New friend?" said Megumin, full of doubt. "You mean Aqua isn't the first one to care for him so dearly like this?"

"It seems he haven't told you," said father. "He had a close childhood friend. She would be the first to sit down with us in occasions like this, yet I can't even see her lately."

"A-A girl? Close even?" said Aqua, her lap trembling. "H-How can a NEET ha-"

"Yami…," I muttered, "I mean Yanami, please don't talk about her."

As said, I didn't want to talk about her as it would naturally lead to the topic of that sunset. Keeping it to myself was one thing, but letting my family know what had happened was unacceptable. I know. It's hardly helpful, serving nothing but to ruin the mood. But I didn't want to make things any more awkward at home.

"Well then, let's have some lunch," said mom, refreshing the mood with her smile. "Do you want to join us?"

"Why YES!" Megumin answered enthusiastically as she leaned forward.

"Of course! Thank you!" Aqua didn't lose on eagerness.

We all faced the last, who, instead of answering, took out some containers. "Actually, I've prepared some food myself," said Lalatina, looking a bit shy. "I would be glad if you could enjoy it."

"Sure!" mom agreed with a pleasant surprise.

Lalatina smiled, a genuine one that shouldn't have suited her, "Thank y-"

"Nope!" I cried the tingling warning in my head. "Absolutely not! The only place her food deserves to be in is the dump…ster..."

Crap, I forgot to hit the break in my hurry. Regardless, our Lalatina made the usual Lalatina noise, "Hng!"

"Boy…," father growled, disappointment evident in his choice of word, "is that how I raised you to treat your friends?"

I got up and shook my head. "No! I mean, well, it's true but no! It would be delicious- maybe? But I know for certain all hell would break loose once we partake in her accursed feast!"

"Don't run your mouth like you worm in your room!"

"Kek!"

Strength left my body, and I fell straight onto Aqua's lap. I'm fully aware that I'm a trash, a parasite leeching off of their backs. But did he need to say the truth so harshly!?

"Good grief," he grumbled and sighed. "How did you become so vulgar?"

Mom tugged at father's sleeve. "I don't think you have the right to sa-"

Father cleared his throat. "I won't allow to take part in our food. If you're still unwilling to take your friend's kindness, then you can go ahead and starve yourself."

This is so unfair! Haven't they seen for themselves the result of eating her shit!? Oh right, they think I'm some kind retard. I'm your son, people!

All of a sudden, Aqua placed a hand over my forehead and clenched it as if to grab something. She then motioned her hand to the air, opening it. "Let your worries go puff!" She gave me a cheerful smile. "Feeling better?"

Sincerely, to her wonderful smile, I could only say, "Yes."

"Hehe, I will feed you. So there is nothing to worry about."

"Sure...," I agreed in complete captivation, which was short-lived as my head tingled. "I-I mean no! You will hate it the most if I eat tha- HEY!"

Aqua, having just eaten a piece of Lalatina's evil, pondered over the taste, "Hmm, it's a bit greasy, but good over all."

"…Don't you feel anything weird?"

Aqua blinked a few times. "No."

"Now, you know," said Lalatina with a reassuring smile. "I admit I have a questionable history, but I am aware of the time and place to do something or the other."

I, still unconvinced, gazed at her with suspicion. "Really?"

"Yeah, rea'y," Megumin affirmed, munching a mouthful of evil. "There's no'ing to wor-"

""Talk after you eat!"" father and I shouted at Megumin, only to realize how picture perfect were our reactions.

Megumin flinched like a startled cat. She almost choked, if it weren't for Lalatina to smack her in the back and cough out the contents.

What a pity, for father and I could barely appreciate the gag of a show. Clearing our throats was the least we could do to forget the earlier awkward display.

"Kazuma," said Lalatina, coming closer from the side, "as you can see, my foods are safe. So… ahh."

As her evil neared, memories flashed. The mountain in flames, the smell of dirt, the strength of her grip, and her feral eyes… they floated in my head in quick motion to spell one phrase.

Déjà vu.

My hand was quick, no hesitation in its movement, swiftly rushing to strike down her malicious hand. It failed. I mean successful. Only… the hand that stopped her approach belonged to Aqua.

"You just never stop, do you?" hissed Aqua. "Save your hand for yourself, cat. I will be the one to feed him."

"…I don't need anyone's he-"

"Shut it, you have no say over th-"

"_Hah… _e-even though I'm offering myself to… to feed you… and yet… and yet…! You pay me no attention whatsoever and show off how close you two are to rub insult to the injury! _Hnnn!"_

Aqua and I stared deadpan at the bizarre sight, wondering the limit of her degeneracy. No matter. We were hungry. Seeing how everyone acted normal despite eating her food, I deemed Lalatina's prior claim to be true.

A boneless fried chicken, dubbed karaage, looked delicious enough. I grabbed a piece with chopsticks and brought it to my mouth. But before I could taste the food, Aqua tapped my arm.

"What?" asked I.

Aqua shyly fiddled with her index fingers. "Hey, uhh I don't mind being fed."

Dazed, I looked into her eyes, but Aqua broke the link as she hurriedly averted her gaze. After seeing how nobody paid us attention, I stared back at Aqua, who was still as nervous as I was. As I gulped down a mouthful of saliva, I gingerly stretched my hand, and she closed her eyes and parted her small lips.

"By the way, Kazuma," said mom, her voice imbued with the magic of petrification, "do you think it's alright for you two to act so close when Yami's not around?"

"No," said I in an instant. "In fact, she probably couldn't care less. So there's nothing wrong about this," with that, I placed the food into her mouth.

Mom stared at me for a moment and looked away. "If you say so."

"Hei, Ka'uma," said Aqua, munching on the karaage while looking displeased, "I ha'e bee' mea'ing to-"

"Won't you swallow it first!?"

She quickly gulped it down. "I've been meaning to ask," she said, still looking displeased. "Who's this childhood friend?"

"Ugh…"

I wasn't willing. It's too much an embarrassment to talk about. But… maybe… she won't laugh.

"She is-"

[[May I have your attention, everyone! The first interlude performance will be held shortly!]]

I turned to the empty field, which had a stage, a strangely exquisite one for its temporary use. "Wow! I heard Eris and the Bitch will perform first! Better sit tight and enjoy the show!"

"Don't ignore me!" Aqua shook me to no avail.

I ate of Lalatina's meal, which was of fine taste, and waited for the performance. It's growing annoying how Aqua's throwing a tantrum behind me, but I kept my eyes on the stage.

[[Everyone! Please welcome the Akuseru High's Symphony!]]

The curtains opened, and they, as in those nasty thots who tied me to a chair and tortured me alive, were revealed. I hate to admit it, but they looked good in those white dresses, especially Eris, whose beauty and purple dress made her stand out. In contrast to them all, the Bitch was dark, quite literally, as she wore black slacks and blazer… which looked good on her as well.

As the name Symphony suggests, they all held an instrument, namely: violins and huge violins. Amelia, however, only had a stick, which was everything a conductor needed.

The group gave a bow and sat on their seats. Amelia, still standing, turned around and faced her members. They waited patiently for their conductor to raise her stick, and, when she did, they seemed to hold their breath, letting silence to set the stage. The stick gently sunk toward the members with huge violins, and a deep note flowed out of their strings. It spread throughout the field like the water deep under the sea. Slow and cold.

Amelia turned to the other side. Those with normal violins answered her call and swayed their bows, stirring a new stream to life. It swam through the sea of notes with its lightness and warmth.

She gestured another group to hit their strings. Their chords joined into the fray like a fish joining a school. More and more, she added. Not so fast, slowly, gradually harmonizing the chords of all the members.

Lastly, Amelia turned to her side. From the glimpse of her face, I deemed that she was smiling. 'Milady,' she seemed to say.

Eris returned a smile and motioned her bow. A particular fish swam into the school. It wasn't fast nor was it large, but it was beautiful. Enchanted, the rest of the school followed its lead, dancing about the ocean.

The stage was set. Amelia just had to raise the sun to lit the wonders of the deep. But they weren't quite there.

'Not yet. Be patient.' She calmed their excitement.

They waited, drifting through the turbulent streams. Up, they went, and, down, they went. It didn't take long for them to catch a glimpse of light at the end of the stream. They curled themselves like a racer at the line.

Amelia waved her stick with a particular strength. 'Now.'

They sprang out, faster and faster, higher and higher. Then, they had finally reached; the panorama set before their eyes. Brightness filled the sea, the colors of corals shining about. The school swam joyously, ecstatic to have found their new home.

"Wow…"

So this is orchestra. I never imagined Eris was so skilled in violin. I thought she'd be uselessly gifted in a useless skill like some useless I know. Don't even mention about Amelia. She… she's made me look at her in a new light, that much I will admit.

"Here."

I turned toward the voice and found Lalatina smiling as she handed me a handkerchief.

"Why…," I didn't pursue asking as I noticed a tear on my cheek. Amused at how emotional they've made me, I accepted her kind offer and wiped my tear. "Thanks."

"My pleasure." She turned her eyes back on the stage.

As their notes calmly drifted through the field, I wondered, "I'm sure I heard this music somewhere… but I just can't put my finger on it."

"It's Canon," Lalatina answered, "by the renowned Pachelbel."

"Yeah, that one. Canon."

As we chatted along, their chord suddenly picked up its pace. When I turned to see them, I couldn't believe my eyes.

A mermaid, shining like the floating star, singing like the night wind. Her soft melody caressed my ears, her timid gesture dazzled before my eyes, and her sweet smile could almost be felt upon my skin.

It couldn't last long like all good things tend to be. As all members lifted their bows off their strings, Amelia lowered her hands. And they were met with a huge applause.

"That was amazing!"

"Where have been you all these time in my life!?"

"ENCORE! I will even offer you my car! So please!"

The Symphony gave their bows and waved their hands, smiles on each and everyone. But Eris seemed to have had the most jovial one.

I decided to give my bit. "You knocked it out of the park, Eris!"

She seemed to have heard it out of all the cheers as her gaze fell on me. But she averted it immediately, rendering me to sigh.

"Eris is as good as ever," said Lalatina. "It's always a pleasure to listen to her."

I chuckled and said, "My ears agree." Then, I noticed. "Where is Aqua?"

"Oh, she left with Megumin. They seemed to be in a hurry."

In a hurry… I hope my feeling uneasy is just a coincidence.

"By the way, do you want a tea to enjoy along the next piece?"

She's right. They were gearing up for another piece, and, as things would have it, my throat was dry.

"Sure."

With a tea in hand, I waited for their next piece. I took a sip and paused a bit. Then, I took another sip. Another sip. Another…

"Weird," said I, calmly, "it tastes almost like the tea you gave me before."

After a brief pause, Lalatina returned a lecherous grin. "Because it is."

The cup fell off my hand. It broke into pieces like the damn situation right now: a fucking joke.

"What are you doing!?" cried mom.

"Don't worry, mistress," said Lalatina, red taking over her face. "I'll handle this."

Lalatina came with a rag and cleaned the mess while breathing heavily and mumbling about being a servant. Once done, she closed in, leaning on me with her thicc body. "Don't worry, master," she whispered. "The tonic was modified to take slow effect. We can take our time to find an empty room… _together."d_

I stood up and slapped her in the face.

"_Hng!" _

"What are you doing!?" cried father.

"P-Please don't get mad at him," said the bitch, panting. "It's all my fault."

She caught up to me, who have had been heading toward the building, and held my hand.

"It's not too late. We can still search… _gasp! _The toilet is it!? Excellent! Just excellent! You sure know me well, master!"

I slapped her some more and coldly said, "Sit." Then left the place.

I heard her collapse onto the ground and… "_Hnnnng!" _

Paying no heed nor attention to her hideous noise, I went inside the building with brooding darkness within me.

Obliterated shitface. Microbrain pickled in cum pot. Whiny, wet pussy wider than where she came from…

"Shit."

I need to hurry. I have to puke it all out before it takes over me. So I entered the restroom, and, to make it succinct, I failed. Little did I know that my stomach was strong. All my sticking fingers up my throat did no good at all but to upset my gut.

"Fucking shit!"

I got out of the restroom to search for a place, a place to fucking tie myself! How am I even supposed to do tha-

"Get out!"

A person flew out of the woman's restroom, breaching the door open. It turned out to be the blond ass, who stood up immediately against the woman who stood by the door.

"But Lynn! I'm a girl! You can't just go ahead and treat me like this!"

The said Lynn returned scornful eyes. "You're still putting up that front? It will never work on me so that's that!"

*BANG*

As the door shut close before _her,_ _her_ head stooped down, and _her_ long golden wig covered _her_ twisted face. "Damn her…! Why do things never work out…"

"Ugh…" _She_ noticed me, but I tried walking off as I whistled.

"Hey!" _She_ closed in and put an arm around my shoulder. "Where are you going?"

Irked at _her_ approach, I quickly answered, "None where it matters to you. So get off!"

"Don't be so cold," said _she,_ _her _arm firm. _She _got even closer and whispered, "Hey, is the phone still with you?"

The phone, the reward I promised _her_ for the sexy picture of the bearer of the largest chest, was still with me like _she _asked.

"Yeah, you got the goods?"

"About that... why don't I show you something much better instead, the true utopia?" _She_ went on to whisper in an even more quiet voice.

And I, having heard _her _ridiculous plan, had to lash out, "That's crazy! They will kill us if we are found!"

"Don't worry," said _she,_ smiling brazenly. "I know just the right place to hide."

I found myself trembling, splitted whether to accept _her_ plan. Last time _she_ said that, everything went to shit. Moreover, I could feel the drug slowly taking its effect, and I'd find my ass in a jail if I go full berserk unrestrained! I know I have to refuse it. Walk away and forget. But my body was against it, and my manly heart was asking, 'Is this what you are made of? A coward that never takes a chance?'

"NO! I'm more than that!"

"Ok, ok, geez. Don't get so worked up." _She _sighed. "Guess I'll find something else."

"Hold up, you shitty ass. I meant to say yes. I will follow you."

_She_ paused and soon gave a huge grin. And to be honest, I must have returned the same huge grin as well.

A music played outside, which stretched our grin even further. We locked our shoulders and walked away, glad that the music would provide great cover.

* * *

Serena was in the locker room, getting herself ready for the last performance. She turned her head to the tiny window where the music outside came through.

"What a horseshit."

That was the impression she had of the music playing outside. She could've gone further, but she chose not to. She's better than th-

"Lowly pecksniff."

Never mind. But it wasn't a problem as she was the only person in the locker room.

"Eris," she muttered, grinning, "if you think you can fool me with such a thinly veiled facade, then you've got another thing coming. I can see right through your shell. I know what's behind that smile of yours."

Again, she was all alone in the room, talking to no one but herself.

"Yunyun…" At the mention of the name, she lost her grin. She then bit her lips and her hands trembled. "_We're friends!_ Yeah, you've said that a hundred times. _Can we take a picture?_ We already took thousands of pictures!" She messed her hair in utter frustration. "I get it! I get that you're lonely! But do you have to stick to me all day long!? Are you torturing me on purpose!?"

*BANG*

After kicking her own locker, she let out a deep sigh. "She's an extremely handy friend… but it's all worth it." She smirked. "You were the hot stuff recently but not anymore. Today, I'll prove to everyone that I'm still the at the top of this school! Haha, hahahahaha!"

Believe it or not, she's not crazy. Putting up a front all day long for years on end was bound to loosen some screw in her head. And it's just coming out on the surface.

The music playing outside slowed to a crawl, and, soon, their piece came to an end. She gazed at the tiny window for a moment and set her eyes back onto her locker. She opened it.

_What…? _

For a moment, she doubted her eyes as there, before her, in her locker, within an empty room, stood a man. She took a step back on instinct. This was dangerous. There was no one in this room except her and the deviant. But then, by sheer luck, she heard girls chatting outside the room.

"HE-"

Unfortunately, her attempt to call for help was obstructed as his hand tightly covered her mouth.

"_Mmmmm!"_

It was useless, not loud enough for the girls to hear, but there was no way she would allow him to tarnish her so easily. Yet her spirit was dashed once she saw his eyes. Ferocious, they stared at her, and, like a prey before its predator, she froze.

_Help…_

Despite her primal fear holding her back from voicing her mind, her untold plea seemed to have been heard as the door was knocked.

"Is anyone there?"

Nothing short of a miracle. The fate had always and had just now shown her favor.

"Shit!"

_Suck on that, fucker! _she cursed him in her head, delighted to see him panic.

The predicament was basically over. She just had to struggle long enough for them to enter. But what's this? How's he so strong? How come she can't even budge him!?

"We will enter now, just so you know."

That rescue call came in too late. By the time they entered, the two were already hidden inside the locker. But what's the problem? She just had to make some noise, and, being inside the locker, the task was easy.

Well, well, well, before the girls entered, the shitbag reminded her in the locker, "Keep quiet, or I'll tell the whole school about who you truly are." Of course, that wasn't enough. After all, between a nobody like him and the Lady like her, it was obvious whose claim would hold more credibility. However, the trash just had to utter the magic words, "Your little rant is recorded so don't get funny ideas."

Inside the silenced locker, Serena shook in fear, and, just like her, Kazuma was scared shitless.

_I've gone and done it now! I'm screwed! That fucking homo tricked me! _She_ said no one would use this locker today! _

In contrary to his mental claim, the said _she,_ who's in one of the lockers _her_self, had no idea that it belonged to Serena. It couldn't be helped. _She_ was too busy, setting up hidden cameras all around the school, and failed to catch on to the recent development that a certain overbearing, blue-haired woman claimed ownership of Serena's previous locker.

The latest smartphone _she_ eyed for was as good as gone. But that didn't matter for now, for _she_ had to pray with every ounce of _her_ being that _she_ wouldn't be caught like _her_ crime syndicate.

"Let's hurry. They're almost done."

By 'done', she meant that the third and last piece Eris and co were performing was about to be done.

"Nah, why hurry when we're the last to be on the stage?"

That was true, but her opinion seemed to be an exception as the girls ignored her and undressed themselves.

To borrow the term often used by the raunchy fellow, the utopia was unfolding itself within the room. And the raunchy fellow, the soothsayer of utopia, threw away all _her _prayers and devoted _her_ full attention to the scene before _her._

What a pity. Unlike the lucky _her, _Kazuma couldn't even witness the utopia as his back was against the front filler. But he was too much in a panic to actually enjoy the show. So it didn't really matter.

"Relax, there's still one club after that padder is done."

Kazuma doubted what he just heard.

"Padder… I don't think you should call her that."

"Why? Did I lie?"

"You need to be more specific. Say, for example, Eris the flat-chested."

A boiling water splashed against Kazuma's heart. Or that's what he felt at least, even though he didn't deserve to.

"I still can't believe it. How can she act so smooth and confident while wearing those pads?"

"You got it wrong. It's precisely due to her pads that she's so confident."

"Haha! That's it!"

Kazuma sighed to calm himself. _Why are there no rumors about Eris? Being the loosed mouths they are, they should've been spreading it left and right. _

"Seriously, why is the Lady so stubborn? No need for all that fair and square when one bad rumor would do the job."

"Well, she wouldn't choose to cheat unlike some other _Lady." _

They broke into laughter, which didn't sit well with Kazuma.

*Creak*

_Oh crap!_

Kazuma paused his breath as the girls stopped chatting. He did all his best to cease all motion, despite his pounding heart. And, fortunately, the luck was on his side as the girls went back to chatting.

*Creak*

_I didn't even move! Why… huh? _

Sensing a cold touch on his hand that covered Serena's mouth, Kazuma turned to it, but he couldn't quite make anything out.

"_Hic…"_

When he heard her sob, however, Kazuma realized that the cold touch was her tear, and, before he even felt the slightest of guilt, he caught on to a particular touch. It was warm, also soft, and, most importantly, huge.

"_Nn…!"_

It clearly dawned on him, that he had stepped into a great peril, that he was truly a piece of trash.

_Why am I groping her chest!? It's fucking grea- I mean why can't I stop it!? _

Kazuma panicked as he failed to stop his very good hand. He wondered for a short second whether he actually wanted to put a stop to it, but he quickly dismissed the thought and blamed it all on the tea.

Sincerely, it's all Lara's fault.

"S-Someone should check that locker," said one of the girls, her voice trembling. "It's making noises!"

"Relax. Something must've fell."

"Oh… right."

Kazuma's heart beat real fast. He wondered whether it was due to him being almost found, or his newfound hobby to explore how far his fingers could sink into her enormous volume.

There had always been a dim light that passed through the small opening of the filler, which did little good for providing vision as it illuminated only the black hair of Serena. But, as she kept twitching in his constant fondling, her eyes managed to be on the other end of the light's entrance.

Kazuma froze, for he saw her in tears; how seamlessly it flowed on his hand, yet how her eyes blazed so fiercely. They seemed to say, _You will pay dearly for this…!_

Guilt stung his heart. He would have stopped there and then, and wrack his head to come up with a creative means to offer an excellent bow. However, that would only have happened if he were in his right mind, and he wasn't.

_Hot mama!_

His eyes were wild with lust, and his mouth wide open, wiggling its tongue toward her like a snake. And, of course, his hand already kicked it into high gear, driving up her valley mad max.

"_Mmm!" _

The fire in her eyes vanished, along with the burning desire for retribution. She realized deep in her gut that this man was no ordinary man. He was something more. Something sinister. Something she should never go up against!

"It's still making noises!"

"…Right."

"Can someone go check it please!? I'm really not good with ghosts!"

"Sigh, alright, I'll go open it. So calm down."

_Crap! _

An ounce of reason finally found its way into Kazuma's head. It brought a realization that he could've avoided it, an anger that he was so stupid, then panic that his life was about to kick his ass so hard.

_Oh shit! Oh yeah! Oh fuck! _

But… it still did little to calm his wild hand.

"Be careful!"

"Alright, here I go…"

The brave girl slowly grabbed the handle and…

*BAM*

The door shut open, though it was not the locker that housed their troubled Lady but that of the locker room itself. Too shocked by the abrupt noise, the brave girl turned to the door, leaving the locker alone.

Two figures stood by the wide open door. One notable feature was their bags of mask, which showed how stupid one of them was as it didn't conceal the long blue hair. And the other, the shorter one, was no better for not correcting the getup.

"Aqua?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Won't you please close the door!? Someone might see!"

The intruder with the long blue hair was at a loss. _It's really weird. How did they come to such conclusion so quick? _

"_Ehem,"_ the alleged Aqua cleared her throat, "you got the wrong girl, for I'm the unsightly Wiz, hence my mask, and not the amazingly beautiful Aqua."

'What?' was written on the face of all the girls present. They would have just up and denied her claim, only if they didn't hear bona fide Wiz's voice out of her mouth.

"Wow! Cool!"

"How did you imitate Wiz's voice so perfectly!?"

"Please close the door!"

Of course, nobody bought her poor attempt at lie.

"Huh?" Her voice was now of a higher pitch, likely her original voice. "I-I'm not… _ehem, _didn't I told you that I'm-"

"That's my voice!" cried the shorter intruder. "Don't use it! They might realize…" she trailed off, realizing her mistake.

An awkward air was between the two. They stared at each other for a short while then shrugged their shoulders.

"It doesn't matter," said the blue-haired intruder, impersonating Wiz again. "After all, none of you will be willing to speak what will happen in this room." She pointed a finger to the girls and said proudly, "Go, my minion."

"Why am I the minion!?" Despite what she said, she went toward the girls as she grumbled to herself.

"I know you. You're Yunyun's friend aren't-" she was cut in short as the intruder sprayed something to her face. Her face went sour. "That's rude."

The intruder paid no attention to her comment as she went on to spray each and everyone whether they wanted it or not.

"Stop…! Huh, it doesn't smell so bad."

"Is this some kind of prank? Anyway, I hate perfume so… Hey! I told you I hate it!"

"Spray me! Spray all you want! But please close the door!"

It didn't take long to spray them all, and, seeing how naive they were, the blue-haired intruder smirked. _1… 2… and 3._

""Urp…!""

In one congruous motion, all of them covered their mouths and bent their backs. Most of them were too weak to stand, but one girl, the brave girl, still had strength to not be on the floor.

"What the hell did you… urp!"

But she couldn't last long, and, as if in accord, they all opened their mouths.

""UWEEEEEEEEEEEK!""

Another beautiful symphony! A staggering piece that can last an age! The shorter intruder was so shocked that she ran out of the room, but her companion just stood there and watched the girls perform. Unfortunately for them, they couldn't see the wide smile they brought upon her mouth.

_Ah, how wonderful. They got their comeuppance for taking what I deserve. Plus, I get to enjoy seeing them suffer what I had. Two rabbits with one carrot!_

"Let's go. We have to get ready," urged the shorter intruder.

"Coming," said the other intruder, still with Wiz's voice. She turned around and took a step, but, before taking another, she turned her gaze toward a locker and tilted her head.

_I think I heard something…_

"Are we still going?"

She gave it one more look and said Wizly, "Wait, I'm coming." She began walking off.

*Creak*

"I knew it!" She dashed toward the locker in a heartbeat and pulled the handle. "You can't hide from… me…"

Her lively tone dropped down to oblivion. Nothing inside the frozen world could be colder than her eyes. Those eyes brought wintry wind into the locker, staring deeply at the meat being ravaged.

"_MMMMMM!"_

Serena was the first to react. She was glad that someone had finally come to save her, but she wouldn't feel so if she saw the bleak eyes under the bag.

"_Nnn!"_

Hearing her moan, the intruder set her void eyes toward the cheating boy's head, whose hand was devouring her breast like a beast. Perhaps her eyes pierced a hole in his head, because he flinched visibly then sweated profusely.

"Hey," said she, her voice as ghastly as that of a devil.

"_EEK!"_ the boy squealed as his hand zealously wrestled against _the_ ballista.

She cracked her knuckles as she said devil-Wizly, "Get out of that locker. Now."

The boy followed her command, his hand still drowning in her giant globe. Once he got out, he forced himself to face the intruder as sweat drenched his face. "I-I-I can e-expla-"

"God Blow!"

"KEK!"

Her wrath and sorrow pummeled straight into his face, slamming him to the ground. Despite getting knocked out, his hand seemed to have its own mind as it caressed the empty air like one would the most precious thing in the world.

Serena, finally free, collapsed to the floor. She cuddled herself, especially the breast, as she trembled. She then set her blurry gaze up to her savior, slowly taking the sight of her blue hair, and cried, "Thank you…! Thank you!" She clutched her savior as she wailed.

"Let go!" the intruder cried back with her original voice. "I still need to teach him a lesson! I still have so much punches left!"

"Thank you!" she cried some more, holding on to her for dear life. "Thank youuu!"

"I said let-"

*Spray*

""Ah-"" a dumb noise escaped both of their mouths as the shorter intruder sprayed Serena in the face.

"Let's go," said the assailant, not the least bit concerned, her tone sounding almost giddy.

After a short moment of silence, the blue-haired intruder grabbed Serena's arms and pulled them apart. "I think it's about time you lift your arms off me."

Serena grinned madly, resisting her pull. "Oh, no. That I wouldn't do. How could I let go of my benefactor empty handed? Just wait a moment, and I'll return a hundred fold."

"I don't need it!"

"Don't be shy! You just have to stand still and… urp!"

As Serena pursed her bubbling mouth, her arms went as frail as a jelly. The intruder didn't miss the opportunity and escaped.

"UweeeEEEK!"

The final note! The final piece to the astounding symphony! Truly! Even Beethoven would be astonished by the breathtaking piece! At least, it did for the two intruders, who were pinching their nose.

"I will not forg-! uweeEEEeeK! Curse you al-! UWEEEeeek!"

Serena wanted to say something, but leading the group seemed to take priority. Without troubling her any further, the two turned around and left the room, dragging the unconscious Kazuma with them. They then breathed their lungs full.

Ah, how refreshing, especially after all that stink!

The shorter intruder smiled. "That ended way better than I thought. So, what should we do about… what are you doing?" she asked as she wondered why the hell was her companion T-posing on top of Kazuma.

"Reasserting my dominance."

"Ok…? Anyway, what do we do about this… thing?" she said as she looked down at the wretched thing below her companion, whose hand still retained its sickening move.

"Hmm…," she pondered, palm on chin.

_Should I continue beating him? How about tap dancing right here and now? Wait!_

Her blue eyes beamed under her mask. "I've just found the best use for him!"

"What is it?"

She smiled wide under her mask. "Filling what every gang need!"

And she returned the smile under her mask. "Hostage!"

The blue-haired intruder got off the thing below her, making sure to put her weight on her heels in the process. As her heels dug into his flesh, the thing groaned rather painfully, which fell on deaf ears. They then went off their way, dragging away the thing with them.

Meanwhile…

""UWEEEEEEEEK!""

The locker room was still filled with their harmonious chord.

"UweeEEEEK!"

Lead by Serena's quirky note. With one last hike in her cadence, their performance came to an end. The room was silenced at last.

Once the dust had settled, a locker opened, revealing a _girl _inside._ Her _facewas as pale as a morning fog, the disbelief in _her_ eyes as clear as the moon at night. _She _staggered, once _she _took a step out of the locker. _She_ trudged through the fallen utopia but fell to _her _knees eventually. _She_ was no Atlas. The weight of _her _torment was too much to shoulder. The truth revealed was growing too fast inside that _she _had to spill a dose.

"Eris… pads her chest…?"

* * *

**Author's Note**: Surprising that I'm not dead with corona, huh? But my passion for this work surely is. Sorry, folks. I realized something very important. You see, I received a criticism once that my work is more like a journal than story, and I have come to thoroughly understand that. And guess what, I want to write stories instead of journals. I'm not putting an end to this per se, but the next upload would be much much more unpredictable. It depends on whether I feel like shitposting again...

Anyhow, there's still one more chapter I uploaded together, just so you know.

**Alphadelta-23**: That plot with Megumin and Yunyun is not really covered in this chapter nor the next, but I planned it to return in a few chapters... which I'm not sure I will write. Anyway, glad that you liked the shitboy.

**P.S. **I changed the rating to M because of the scene with Serena. But no sexual intercourse will ever occur.


	18. Chapter 15 Sports Fest with a BANG! (5)

**All ye who enter, be warned. This chapter is a madness of 14,216 words. Empty thy minds. It will be easier then.**

* * *

_Countless people applauds like the thunder._

_For they welcome the nigh, dark storm. _

_The storm to destroy the wicked man._

Arue gazed at the crowd, giving her and her allies a welcoming applause_._ She raised her head and saw the sunless sky; a grey veil cast over the land. The gods were too afraid to witness the things to come.

"The same storm…," she mumbled. She then set her eye back to the crowd and smiled faintly.

_Hide all you want, you imbecilic imp, but you can't escape from my pen._

Arue's smile grew slightly deeper to no one's notice. She stood there on the stage as her tall leader took a step forward with a mic by his mouth. She raised an eyebrow at the man's height, wondering whether he wore an insole.

[[Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, Mo-]] He cleared his throat. [[Excuse me, the cold's getting to my throat. Everyone, I regret to inform you that we aren't here to perform. We are the members of the literature club after all and are here to introduce our books instead.]] He took a brief pause. [[But you don't have to be disappointed because it will definitely be worth your time.]]

Arue and her allies stared at their leader with surprise. They never imagined him to be so good a speaker, considering how he usually behaved meekly around them. Despite his smooth introduction, the crowds didn't receive them well. Being introduced to some books right after a classic performance would sour anyone's excitement after all. Even so, Arue kept her grin. She could easily imagine their bug-eyed look in the soonest moment.

The leader turned to Arue and said, "After you."

Arue frowned. His newfound demeanor was quite uncannily familiar. _It resembles…_, after a brief thought, she shook her head as she had a more urgent matter to attend to.

She went to the front and kneeled down to place a device on the floor. Arue took a heavy breath. Even for her, doing what she's about to do in front of a huge crowd needed some courage. Once she took another breath, her eye glowed with unwavering determination.

She rose in quick motion and swung her arm widely to complete a pose. She then cried out, "Light, heed my call. False, imitation, the imagination! Come to reality! Show your splendor to the world! Activate!"

To the word 'Activate', the orb shone in blinding blue, gushing out light into the shape of a man.

Silence abound the place as the crowds were bug-eyed as predicted. Arue's lips stretched far to a huge grin. Surely, they were impressed by her breathtaking chant and also her hologram. Satisfied, Arue went back to her place, taking her allies' deadpan looks as products of their irresistible jealousy. Soon, a huge uproar erupted behind her.

"A hologram! I can't believe it! There is no glass unlike in the concert!"

"You mad fucking demon! Inventing ooparts left and right! I don't even know anymore!"

"You should've shown anime titties, you uncultured hack!"

That last one right there hit her nerve pretty hard, but an awesome woman like her would not be faltered by an uncouth monkey.

"Alright…," said one of her allies as he took a long breath. He took the mic from the leader and hit the stage. [[H-Hello, everyone! M-My book is called the 'Ever Wonder'! This g-guy in the hologram is…]] He went on to introduce his work as he stuttered all throughout.

Arue yawned. How boring. Romance that drama this. She wondered what kind of people would actually read a plain book like that. It's a given for those seeking fame and success to include magic, or, at least, some giant robot. To do otherwise would only bring you further away from glory.

But Arue still had to admit the title was good compared to all the other distasteful names that get into the shelves even at this moment.

[[Hi, people~! My book's called~ 'What?! I, a Japanese third-year high schooler from Class 2, suddenly fell into a different world and met the prime minister?!'~!]]

_Speak of the devil…_

Arue stared blankly at the girl, who had an unfathomably little amount of shame to title her baby as such. She sighed, wondering what the world had come to.

"Arue~," the girl, who's got something wrong in her head, called out to her, "your turn~"

Arue's eye glowed with a dark glow. It wasn't the eye excited to showcase one's baby, but the eye out for blood. She took the mic from the girl with a stupid smile and took the stage.

Strangely, she didn't feel the stage fright that bothered her just prior. Perhaps much of her nervousness had been alleviated by the previous awesome chant, or perhaps her thirst for justice didn't allow any of it. And Arue was certain that the latter held the greater water.

Once her relentless march came to a halt, she posed, placing her eye between her fingers as her other hand held the mic.

[[My name is Arue.]]

She then jerked back, the free hand stretched across her front, and the other hand, which held the mic, went around her head, covering her eye.

[[The glamorous write of the Crimson Demon Village!]]

Without noticing how the crowd went completely dumb, Arue used her free hand to unseal the eye patch, revealing her glowing, golden eye.

[[And the owner of the _eye of Panta!]]_

If it were any other occasion, it would have been her time to bask in silent glory with a proud smile plastered over her face, but her heart was cold on fire.

Now that she got their undivided attention, she held the mic rather normally. [[My book is called "Shameful Secret," inspired by an actual event.]] She took her time before continuing, making sure the crowd was ready to hear was to come. [[Have you heard of a man named, Satou Kazuma? He is a miserable, licentious man. A hopeless pervert who steals a minor's panties.]] She smiled coldly as she heard gasps from the crowd, the sound of public opinion swinging her way. [[But I've found recently… his lust is not bound to females.]]

Even louder gasps came from the crowd. Not only did he steal a minor's panties, but he also curves in both ways!? M-Monster! He must be kicked out of this town!

Arue had a hard time restraining her laugh. Everything's falling to places so perfectly. So easily to boot! She didn't even show her trump card yet!

Nevertheless…

[[Now see this.]]

With that, she quickly clapped twice and the orb projected another image, which hit the crowd like a bomb. Two men. Two completely naked men (thank goodness, their privates were covered in steam) had their flesh intertwined with each other's. The black-haired, handsome man, who barely resembled his real-life counterpart, was on top, and the blond man at the bottom gave damp, longing gaze toward his partner; both exuded an air of carnal desire.

Oh boy, where's my corona?

Jokes aside, and I said, JOKES ASIDE, Arue gave the finishing blow, [[I believe some of you may have realized by now… about why Dust dresses as a woman.]]

The question that had plagued every student's mind have been blown away with the simple answer. It also came with the realization that the debauchery of a certain man seemed to had sunk way lower than they initially thought. He must be buried in haste.

By now, Arue was grinning ear to ear. _Oh sweet vengeance. Utter and irredeemable destruction. I shall soon indulge in his crying, pathetic face! _

Pleased that her goal was achieved, she removed the irksome image by another set of claps and returned to her place.

"You're wrong!"

Until a woman opposed her claim.

Arue spun around. Who was it? What kind of woman had come to defend such a vile man?

"Eris…?" she muttered, beyond belief to find the first victim stand up for her assailant.

"You're wrong!"

After crying out for the second time, Eris heaved for breath. It helped the need of her lungs, but not the trouble in her heart. She clenched her fists in anguish and raised her head to face the liar.

"Kazuma's not a homosexual! Also, he did steal a minor's panties, but I'm sure he had a good reason for it!"

Arue quickly collected herself and retorted, [[What good reason is there for the crime? To begin with, why are you defending him?]]

"Because I know him! He certainly is a pervert, but he's a chicken who never takes a chance!"

Arue wondered if the two had actually spent a sufficient time together to warrant her saying that, but she shook her head as it didn't matter at the moment. [[But nothing changes the fact that he willingly stole a minor's panties.]]

"Not so fast!"

Arue was shocked to find another voice coming to defend the man, a woman's voice no less! She turned to it and found a tall woman, whose long, pony hair lustered in the color of the absent sun.

"If you're speaking of the event a week prior, then you're most certainly wrong," said she, firmly. "He was under the influence of a drug and lost all restraints. It stands to reason that he can't be blamed for it all."

[[Then why was he under a drug? Drug itself is an evil thing to consume.]]

"Well…," she trailed off, at a loss. Explaining away the reason would expose her sitting at the bottom of it, but to not say a word would only put Kazuma in a very difficult position.

Was what she worried about until it hit her. _Wait a minute, isn't this perhaps the best opportunity for me to be lambasted upon!?_

With a short gasp and a palpitating heart, Darkness hurriedly and steamily uttered, "A-Actually! I-I-I am the reason for i-!"

*Rumble*

Her feverish confession was interrupted by the quivering ground. Or it sounded like so. Almost all foreigners had their hearts drop as they thought an earthquake had struck, but the Japanese instinctively knew in their blood that this was no such thing. The trembling just wasn't there. As a matter of course, they had greater part in themselves to be rational and search for the source of the noise. And they were quick to find it.

"T-That's…!"

"It's a plane!"

"No, it's a bird!"

"What do you mean bird or plane!? That thing's on the ground!"

Indeed, that thing was on the ground, standing taller than three men combined. It came into the scene after striding through the thorny branches of the hillside trees.

_By the gods…! _Arue shuddered. _A robot! One which fancies the crescent moon as its headpiece and large, pointy sunglasses for its proud chest! So lofty… So fearsome… So awesome! Even though it lacks the crucial, giant drill… my heart does not allow any slight against it._

And, as a cherry on top, the robot had red as its base color. Red, just like her eyes! Not only that but also black and gold! All her favorites!

It was a thrilling fact for Arue, so much so that she couldn't see the incoming, giant hand. When she finally noticed, however, she chuckled, raising her arms for her dear hero, craving for it to take her yonder and beyond.

And everyone couldn't help but gawk at her.

"Did she just…"

"I hope I'm wrong, but… she looks happy?"

"This is either a pre-planned event or that girl is one hell of a crackhead."

The robot, disregarding the uncomfortable amount of attention it's getting from its captive, stretched its arm toward another person.

"It's coming to me?!" cried Eris. She turned and ran as fast as possible, but she just couldn't outrun it in her heels. "Kyaaaa!"

"Lady Eris!" cried Amelia, too distanced at the moment to do anything.

"Eris!" Ditto for Darkness, except jealousy seemed to be part in her tone.

Hazel hair fluttered amidst the cries. A woman shot off in a speed even the shadows could barely follow and latched onto the giant arm. Her venomous eyes pierced the metal head.

Wiz had come for blood.

Holding firm to the arm like a bug, she brought out a knife. It didn't seem much against the metal plate, butit was the best shot she got at the moment. She gave it a heavy thrust.

"Huh?" Wiz muttered, surprised to find her knife hilt deep into the plate. Though it felt like a genuine metal on the surface, she discovered it was no such thing; it's just a cardboard. She dropped her arm without hesitation, slicing through it like a hot knife through butter.

[AHHHHHHHH!] a hysteric screech went off throughout the field. [You're tearing my priceless work!]

The top of the robot's head opened to reveal two figures with bags over their heads.

One of them stepped forward. "Apologize! Apologize for ruining my precious art!"

"Aqua?" Wiz muttered, having heard the same kind of screech that had been wearing her ears thin. And her blue hair only hardened her suspicion.

The screecher ceased screeching, then awkwardly smiled under her mask. "A-Aqua? Who's that? Me? No, no, how can you mistake me for the gorgeous Aqua? If I was her, which I'm totally not, I would've thrown away this mask and let my beauty shine throughout."

Even though she spoke in a completely different voice, she couldn't budge the certainty in the eyes of the viewers. Wiz, on the other hand, completely bought it, which erased the slight hesitation in her heart.

*Whiz*

The wind whimpered; the sharp knife had left a scar in the air.

"_EEEEEEK!"_

The screecher screeched; the sharp knife had missed her by a hair's breadth.

She fell to her butt, tears under her mask. By sheer luck, that happened to be the correct move as the knives had passed through where her head had had just been. Her short companion slammed a button, and they were encased once again. However, it didn't seem like the cardboards would last long against her barrage.

[STOP! WE HAVE CAPTIVES!] the shorter villain yelled at the mic, but her threat would have only worked if Wiz wasn't so quick at freeing the captives.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" shearing scream was torn out of Arue's throat, having witnessed her hero being cut apart. All manner of curses followed her scream, invoking one fine headchop from Wiz. The universal language seemed to have worked as she stayed shut until she and Eris were left in the back.

Inside the hopeless mess that was the cockpit, a girl wailed like there was no tomorrow, and her companion was on her knees; despair had consumed her crimson eyes. Then, out of the blue, the dim bulb above her head sparked a radiant explosion.

_Right… we still have one more hostage._

Now, please understand. Even with her superb intelligence, she just couldn't remember in such a dire situation (or, more precisely, she desperately wanted to ignore) that she was sharing the space with the most despicable man on earth.

After a grim, nervous nod to herself, she turned to her back and found an unconscious man, who'd been completely tied… save for his hand. She shuddered, having taken sight of the unbound beast still ravenously hunting for a prey.

"…I don't think I'd feel any remorse even if he's stabbed in the head," she said with undiluted sincerity. She then turned on the mic. [Cease your attack! We still have one more hostage!]

Wiz reluctantly complied, sensing an ominous truth in her words through her antenna, and her intuition was confirmed when she saw the cockpit open. "Kazuma!" she yelled, enraged to find her friend tied and beaten. "What have you done!?" she yelled some more, instead of outright throwing her knife. If they didn't hold what seemed to be a weapon against him, she would have thrown it even before the hot got into her head.

"This is a bomb I'm holding here," said the villain. "Throw one more knife, then it will explode to take this loathsome man to hell."

She didn't mention it would also take them along, but, somehow, Wiz had no doubt she was willing to do just that.

"Who are you?" said Wiz through gritted teeth. She was finally curious about these two, who were awfully talented at piquing her wrath.

Suddenly, a raucous music filled the space, the vast galaxy overwhelming the place. The villains stood proudly in the center of it all, having shed their fear-ridden trace.

"That is a question we often come across."

"So to answer it is only par for the course."

"To shatter the evil and their shameless schemes,"

"To make the way for our cherished dream,"

"To protect the world from the absence of my love,"

"To unite all nations under my peerless bomb,"

"By yours truly, Mata,"

"And the unstoppable, Mendezmin,"

"Team Magic shall fly off far beyond the eyes could see!"

"Achieving the highest acclaim the world had never seen!"

"So here I go, Nature's Beauty!"

...

...

...

...

"Flawless…," Arue mumbled, her glittering eyes fixated on the marvelous duo. "Team Magic, I admit defeat." She smiled and gave slow claps for her new rival, all while receiving the baffled stares of the others.

By now, even Wiz caught on to their true identity, and she couldn't help but sigh. _Just another one of their mess… at least, Kazuma is safe. _

The blue-haired villain's eyes shone as she saw Wiz sheathing her knives. "Hah! I never thought you had a heart, you dead cold spin-"

*Whiz*

…Let's just say she went back to her corner.

Seeing her companion breaking into tears, the shorter villain sighed. It didn't have to come this far. They just wanted to gain attention and fend off any interference through the robot, not to abduct people left and right. She sighed once more, wondering how smoother it would have gone if her companion hadn't succumbed to her resentment.

_What should I tell Socketo about this… _she thought as she eyed the battered robot. Looking around, she quickly dismissed the thought because she had caught the attention of everyone. Just as planned!

"HAHAHAHahahahaha…," her excited laughter started loud but ended in whisper. What was supposed to boost her confidence, laughing like a maniac that is, only did the opposite. Shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and other words found in thesaurus weren't enough to describe what she felt.

But there was a sudden, waking sound of thud; Megumin had beat her heart.

"I FEAR NONE!" she roared, then coughed. She put too much force behind the hit. After clearing her throat, she took in a lengthy breath. "I AM MEGUMIN! THE GREATEST OF THE CRIMSON DEMONS! THE WIELDER OF EXPLOSIONS!"

…Save for the outsiders, absolutely no one was surprised to hear that name.

Megumin upheld her orb of ultimate destruction. "Darkness blacker than black! Darker than dark! I beseech thee-!"

"I shall gladly answer your call! So think fast!"

Megumin was baffled, but crimson flames instantly sparked in her eyes. Of all time, some damn bastard had to barge in on her most prized moment! But before she could even call out on the diabolical interrupter, a ball flew in her direction. She caught it and was rather surprised to find it eerily familiar. Aside from the fact that its fuse was lit, it had the same shape and size as her explosive.

Never mind, it was terribly familiar!

"NOOOOOOOOOO-!"

A BOOM interrupted the instinctive, trauma-induced scream of a certain woman, and a fireless smoke engulfed the cockpit.

Dreary silence filled the ground as no one knew what to make of the situation. To summarize, some knucklehead introduced them to a criminal bastard; a freaking robot appeared out of nowhere; a wickedly deft woman brought it down; and another knucklehead had just been interrupted by a bomb in the middle of her stunt… They thought about it and nodded to themselves. Reality can sure be strange. Only the doodles of a grade schooler can stand on even terms.

"Muahahahahaha!"

An unhinged, maniacal laughter cut through the silence, and everyone found themselves unsurprised, deeming it as just another addition to the series of bizarre events. In contrary to the growing imperviousness of the crowd, the members of the literature club were rooted to the spot. Sure, the leader surprised them by conducting himself skillfully on the stage, but they never knew he had in himself the unruly madness like the previous witches.

As the wind blew away the smoke, the slime-drenched duo was revealed. And it was also at that moment that the seemingly unending laughter came to an end.

"How succulent! Truly worth the wait!"

No one knew what he was so spirited about. All they saw were two girls at the brink of bursting out in two different ways. They could almost see the fiery glare and the teary eyes under their masks. What was so good about their pitiful sight?

The maniac sneered. "Moi is tempted to indulge himself even further into such rare delicacies, but that would be wasting too much time. Moi suppose it's time for the surprise reveal."

He grabbed his jacket and pulled it out. All he did was that, but everything about him changed, except his height: from the dull-looking literature club leader to a hunky man in his formal attire with a ridiculous mask.

He was…

"Boss?!" cried Megumin. "Aren't you supposed to be abroad!?"

The said boss grinned mysteriously. "Moi was just too intrigued by your endeavor of yesternight. About how little it contained your usual grunts as you attept to bring your mad ideas to life."

Megumin's eyes blazed even hotter, yet her voice edged even quieter. "Hey boss, I might just show you how mad I can be."

The boss laughed her off and eyed the blue-haired villain. "And Moi hoped you didn't resort to such underhanded method. You should've gone and claimed that man once and for all, rather than chasing such vain thing as fame," he finished it with a headshake.

The vain woman shot up and shouted, "W-Why should I go out with him, huh!? I-It's not like I'm in…," she trailed off, stiffened by the growing noise in the distance.

*Roach ROach ROAch ROACh ROACH*

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she went completely nuts before the wave of cosmic horror.

*BUZZZZZZZ*

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he, likewise, went utterly nuts in his sleep, going wild by pure instinct alone.

The first who went nuts brought out a pair of fans in the middle of her incessant trembling. "N-N-N-Natu-tu-ture's B-"

"STOP!" Megumin pounced upon her companion and sealed her mouth. "Don't do the water thing! The control panel is a sensitive devise. Anymore harm would surely break it, and I would be eaten ALIVE! We still have the spray so don't worry!" She brought out the said spray and thumbed down on it, which only let out a short poof of a gas. "It's out huh… Aqua, I'd be very happy if you could wash me first."

"NATURE'S BEAUTY!"

The robot fell to its knees in an erratic movement and soon ceased all motions. Before such pitiful display, the boss shook his head. He wondered if he should build another campus just to contain troubling fools like them.

"Sir Vanir!" said the principal, who was nowhere to be seen since the opening ceremony. He skipped his heavy legs to attend to the person. "I'm very sorry about this ridiculous incident. I'll make sure to severely punish those two."

"Don't sweat it. Moi have already devised one in advance." He glanced back at the mess. "Which is currently at work."

"O-Of course, I've expected nothing less from you. After all, you're gifted with keen…," he trailed off in the middle of his flattery as its recipient wasn't present. He looked around and found him heading off to the crowd. "S-Sir! May I know where you're going?"

"To an unfinished business." Vanir said no more as he eyed a silvery woman in the crowd, but a brunette came to him instead. He gave no pause and walked past her.

"Where is she?"

The words stopped Vanir, and, after a slight delay, "Don't know" was all he gave. The back-to-back talk ended then.

Save for the unfortunate few, the crowd sighed in relief as they found the bugs taking a relatively vacant route. But Eris wasn't so relieved, not even under the care of Amelia and Darkness. She just couldn't take her eyes off of the soon-to-be-swarmed, shriek-echoing, water-flying cockpit. No longer able to sit still, she stood up from the bench and went to search for a tool that might help them.

"Lady Eris, you must keep rest," said Amelia, worried.

"S-She's right. You should rest yourself," Darkness agreed, her tone oddly heated, her eyes frequenting the frenzy in the distance.

Eris shook her head as she kept her pace. "No, how can I sit still when my party member is in trouble?"

"Party member?" said Amelia.

"I-I mean friend. I meant to say friend."

"Then allow me to help you," said Amelia. "As a woman myself, I find it horrendous to even imagine being overrun by those bugs. Let us save those poor girls."

"Why yes! That is most admirable! I'm ashamed I didn't spring into action at the very start! To atone for it, I shall take the charge!" Darkness stayed true to her words like an unbridled horse.

"Wait!" Eris' words couldn't reach her.

The two stood dumbfounded; one admired her bravery, and the other felt a headache. Anyhow, they needed to resume their search, not only for her troubled friends but also for Darkness, who willingly dove into the fray with an unrestrained smile stuck to her face.

Eris, in the middle of her search, felt a jolt of idea. Fire extinguisher! She didn't think it would have any repelling substance, but its sheer force may keep the bugs an idea set, she began heading toward the-

"You there!"

That sudden call sounded quite close, but Eris deemed it's meant for someone else. She resumed her wal-

"Moi is talking about you, hollow girl, who slept barely an hour due to a certain boy occupying your head!"

Eris froze in place, feeling as though she was made naked.

"Bullseye?" Vanir smirked as he closed in to her. "Moi still has an obligation to fulfill, remember? Or are you perhaps of the intention to stain my clean record?"

Amelia stepped in between the two. "Stay where you are," she said with hostility. Her lady seemed nervous at his presence- no, at his words. Either way, he shouldn't be allowed near her.

"Relax. Moi is not here to eat her. As already said, Moi is just here to fulfill my end of the bargain." Vanir grinned as his comment seemed to finally pique her interest. He brought out a necklace, which looked just like the one Aqua wore; except, a lustrous, lavender sheen hanged by the slim, silver chains.

Eris made a troubled look. "I really appreciate your kind offer, sir, but I just can't receive something so valuable."

"It's not out of good will, not even close. You see, Moi is very proud of his business ethic, and strictness have been its core principle."

Eris sighed. He didn't seem like someone she could convince. "Alright, I'll take up on your offer, but can we do it later? I'm busy at the moment."

Vanir grinned as he stepped out of the way. "We have a deal then. You may now quickly go and save your little precious."

"H-He's not precious! We're just friends!" Eris denied with a peculiar heat upon her face, but, realizing that any more excuse would only further heat it, she walked past him with a riled speed.

Amelia followed suit as she muttered, "He?"

Now back to the heart of the problem, the cockpit faced the biggest hysteria since its construction. Water persistently flew in all directions in desperate measure to fend off the bugs, and Megumin kept failing to light the fuse under the spattering water, all while Kazuma was silent, having fainted while being fainted. Despite the apparent fiasco, they had long since washed the slimes off their backs, but the cockpit had no system for sewage. The slimes, the object of their demented desire, had nowhere to go but to well up within the cockpit.

So yes, they were in quite a tight spot.

Down below the turmoil, amidst the wave of weltering bugs, a sort of lump drifted to and fro. If one were to look closer at it, he would be astounded. It's a human! More precisely, it was a coalition of countless bugs, taking the shape of a human, a humanoid bug if you will. Just like the other bugs, the humanoid bug scuttled toward the cockpit, and, unlike the other bugs, it managed to reach it and fall into the slime pond.

"_HYAAAAAAAAAA!" _Megumin busted out a bloodcurdling scream. Witnessing the sudden entrance of the monster was as though being subjected to the eye of the abyss. She hurled the explosive without much aim and proceeded to empty her pockets.

"Wait! It's me!" shouted the humanoid bug under the relentless attack.

Megumin paused as she heard a very familiar voice. "Darkness?"

The humanoid bug wiped the bugs off of its face, revealing the white skin of a human yet the face of a swine. "I am indeed Darkness."

That face brought another form of horror to her heart. So another attack was only just. "…Why are you here?"

"To save you," she said, rather sternly, unbefitting of a woman covered in bugs.

Megumin fought hard against her enormous doubt and clung to the faint ray of hope. "How?"

"…Somehow."

So, not only was she bare of plans but also brought a pack of bugs into their midst?

Yet another attack was only just.

"Somebody do something!" desperately cried the water dispenser. Her arms were no longer as eager and vigorous. If things stayed as they were, she would eventually run out of strength and be swallowed by the swarm. "No! I can't have that! Not again!"

Darkness steeled herself. She wasn't sure whether she'd done it to fulfill her promise or to squander the bugs. Nevertheless, she had to do both, and she did so with much dismay. "Aqua, drench me in water. I shall transfer each one of you out."

"Then take me first!"

Darkness shook her head. "I'm afraid I have to refuse. You are the only one who can buy time against…," she trailed off as she found the man on the floor, unable to take her eyes off of his unrestrained hand. She silently picked him up in a princess. "Aqua, quick! There is no time to waste!"

"Not yet!" said Megumin as she leaped like a squirrel onto the rescuer's back. "Now do it!"

The alleged Aqua found herself utterly speechless. Here they were parading as friends, yet how quick were they to abandon her! Heroic sacrifice? More like let's dine in heaven tonight!

"AHHH!" shrilled Megumin. "Why did you stop your water thing!"

"The name's Nature's Beauty, egghead! Since you guys were so eager to leave me behind, let's see how you like being swarmed alive!"

"_Gasp! _Darkness, don't listen to her! I know you're much better than-"

"Sure!"

"Of course you'd say that, dammit! Why are there no sane person in the team!?"

"Get a load of this. I can't believe you of all people are complaining about that."

"What did you say?!"

Perhaps lending themselves to petty fights was a matter of course. After all, to divert from it would only render them to plunge into the pit of despair. Save for one and another one, the two fought with desperate passion to keep their wild fear under the surface.

In that moment, when the amber wind draped down onto the four in swift undulation, when the umber wave crawled and slithered up the forged alloy, a beam of white stretched forth; firm and unyielding, merciless yet compassionate, the ray of hope crushed the bugs in its path! One more! Two more! It opened a path wide enough for the angels to march!

"We came to help!" said Eris, her voice spreading like the trumpet of heaven. The three paused, mouth agape, admiring the light shining about her.

Amelia kept the bugs at bay with her extinguisher as she urged, "Quick! Get on your feet! We have to leave now or never!"

"Deus Vult!" Megumin flew swiftly onto Amelia's back.

The alleged Aqua rose to her feet and readied her fans. "Locked and loaded!"

"…I'm ready as well," said Darkness with what seemed to be a disappointed tone.

"Let's go!" said Eris as she blasted out a path.

It was a smooth sail from then on. Nothing could impede Eris' and Amelia's advance, and, coupled with Nature's Beauty, they were untouchable. Also, since they washed off the slimes before they left, the bugs weren't so eager to be in their way. They were now finally free.

The group collapsed to the ground at the first step into safety. Eris herself couldn't help but lean on Amelia as her heels did a number on her ankles. Needless to say, the two villains broke into tears the soonest they realized that they were alive. They were so joyous and grateful to remember their immediate past and hugged each other. But, when Darkness excused herself and Kazuma, Aqua jumped and robbed her of her fantasies.

Megumin sighed and turned to what was once the robot. After gazing at it a while, she withdrew herself from the shapeless swarm.

Eris sat beside Aqua, who lended her lap to Kazuma. "Is he alright?"

"Other than his crazy hand, he's fine," the alleged Aqua assured her as she wiped Kazuma with a towel. "By the way, can we get some space?"

Eris was made aware that she was just shy of one head from kissing him. She took distance in a heartbeat.

"A-Aqua, I think he is ill," said Darkness with a well-hidden frustration. "I say he needs to go to the nurse office at once."

"I know this stuff pretty well, ok? So trust me, Darkness. You don't have to worry about him. And I'm not Aqua by the way."

Darkness' frustration was made slightly more apparent but not so much to be noticed. "I-I see…"

Then a sudden clap greeted the group, the intervals of which had an air of hubris. They turned to it and found the absurd man with a ridiculous mask wearing a galling smile.

"Very well done, students. Moi never thought you'd accomplish such a feat. You've went beyond Moi's expect-" Vanir left the word incomplete as he evaded an exceptionally crude dropkick. "Nice try, but you need to add more speed if you're hoping to ever land it."

"SHUT UP!"

"Yeah, shut up!" the alleged Aqua rose to her feet without a care of her patient. "Nature's Beauty!"

"Haha!" Vanir stepped to the side with the utmost ease; the puny water had no bearing on his prim suit. "Don't waste your time with a trick that has no place but in the garden!"

"Oh! I promise it can be in more places than that! Nature's Beauty: Turbo!"

Turbo or whatnot, Vanir had no difficulties in evading them. Rather, he found the leisure to test his limits, evading them at just the right place and the right time for them to qualify as friendly fire.

Eris, with the help of Amelia, dragged Kazuma away from the two idiots' ingroup fighting. Once in safe distance, Eris nervously did, much to Amelia's protest, what her housemate had done a few moments ago.

…_So this is how it feels like in real life._

Amelia found the urge to scratch her head. _Why would she allow such a man her lap? I know they cleared their biggest qualm a few days ago, but it shouldn't grant them such proximity… Did something happen yesterday? When I was too ashamed to prolong the practice session? Whatever the case… it's good she's away from that hand with hideous movement._

*BuzZ*

She jumped to her feet at her instinct's behest. The place was abuzz with countless bees, yet the noise managed to achieve distinct presence. Softly beginning to a swift blaring… it was the hum of an assassin.

*BuzZ*

Her eyes widened as they caught onto a yellow bullet whizzing past. "Lady Eris!" she cried as she turned to protect her Lady, but she was met with a rather good news.

"Ah," uttered the sleepyhead in his sleep, acutely aware of the presence up his nose. "Kek."

It should've been like any other dumb noise he ever made, but it was different, alike yet unique, because it was followed by immediate, total silence. It just so happened that there was a pause in the crowd's murmurs, buzzing and roaching, Nature's Beauty and Explosion, and even the wind itself. Why was it so? Was it simply due to pure chance? Did it contain a commanding cadence? Or did it harbor the secret of the universe?

Only Arue seemed vaguely aware as she stared at the shivering clouds. "The gods… are afraid..."

The sting unfastened Kazuma's eyelids, which convulsed in indescribable pain. No spheres of reason were found in his eyes, only pure, white madness in its place. His body had been racked and wrenched with the thirst of thousand throats. So he made a fist with his perverse hand, for they were never quenched! He opened his mouth in furious rebellion!

"KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

The clouds thundered, the ground quivered, and the people shuddered.

"W-What the hell is that noise!?"

"Earthquake! Real earthquake!"

"God forbid it's the end of the world!"

Kazuma rose to his feet as his howl shook the world to its core. He lowered his stance and strengthened his arms, stretching his bind farther and farther to a point of tear. He ripped it apart and came out of his cocoon.

"KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

Golden fire erupted out of Kazuma, sending waves of wind in all directions. And his hair rose and fell as it flashed gold in odd rhythm.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

The bugs screamed in silent terror as the bees took to the stormy air, and the roaches creeped back to their quivering creaks.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

Arue said the truth! Surely, even the gods can't help but tremble before such fearsome sight!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

He…! He… ugh… I think I've ran out of epic descriptions.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

…

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

* * *

**5 minutes later**

* * *

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

As the lasting howl finally came to an end, a blinding light overwhelmed the land. Once the light subsided, everyone reluctantly opened their eyes, and their jaws dropped down to the ground.

There stood a lone man in the middle of the field. His hair was like a stack of golden spears raised against the gods, and his eyes were as the serene green sea. He stood with pride and menace as fragments of lightning danced about him.

*BuzZ*

Beeing X was a fearless bee. Despite the man's dreadful aura, it didn't hesitate to swoop down on his blind-spot when he's least prepared.

*Buz-*

But it was too haughty. It didn't realize he was now a completely different man. Even so, much lenience should be given it, for who in the world would expect a man to catch a first-rate bee with only his fingers? Without keen observation to boot!

The man stared long into the struggling bee. Then, with a smirk, he pressed his fingers; his lifelong nemesis was now a distant memory. After shaking off the mangled remnant with indifference, he swept the field with cold gaze and stopped at the one who knocked him out. He raised a bag and thrusted his hand into it.

"Steal."

A shrill rang out as the man let out a hearty laugh. Immediately, however, he was made speechless by the object, because the object happened to be a sake.

"N-Nature's Beauty!" chanted the knocker, leading the content of the sake to burst out to a fine rainbow. "I-I didn't blow my wallet to drink a very expensive sake or anything… It's just one of the props… really…"

The man threw away the bottle in a merciless fit, breaking it into pieces. He then heard a squeal not too far from him. Turning to it, he found Eris startled by the broken bottle. His arms sored, reminding of her torture a few days back.

Eris was gripped by fear. _Those eyes… they're those eyes! The same ones that ravaged-_

"Steal."

Eris fell to her knees, tears pooling by her eyes. She would have devolved to a broken tape and mumble on endlessly, but what she saw struck her dumb. She couldn't believe that he waved her panties wildly about in the eyes of the crowd. Tears flowed, accompanied by constant gibberish.

"Why you trash!" Amelia charged forth, taking out a bat out of thin air. "How dare you shame Lady Eris!" She swung her bat down onto his head! But her eyes opened wide, bewildered that her all-out-attack was stopped by a single hand. She was then filled with sobering dread as she saw his expression completely unfazed. "You… You're different… What are you?"

The man smirked. "Forgetful aren't you? Let me remind you then… I am the man who came all the way from the bottom of hell to put women like you back in their proper place. I am the harbinger of true gender equality, just an everyday man fed up with your one-sided bullshit. I am-" a punch to the face cut him in short, but it couldn't cut out his smirk, "…the Thot Slayer."

Amelia felt something snap within her; she could no longer stand his sleazy mouth. She let go of the bat to throw another punch, all to see this man groveling at her feet! But her wish fluttered away in the soonest moment as her fist could no longer reach its target, for he had caught it. The next thing she knew, her collar had been grabbed, and a streaking shadow swept in from the side.

*Slap*

She wasn't sure what had just happened. The burning pain on her cheek informed her that she had been slapped… but, even so, she wasn't sure. This kind of thing never happened to her. She just couldn't wrap her head around i-

*Slap*

She finally came around and arrived at the truth that she, a woman, had been hit by a man. Twice no less! It was enough to relit the fire in her eyes, and she pulled back her leg to deliver a knee stri-

*Slap*

She realized the need for defense. So she raised her arms to guard her head. Now, if only she could find an openi-

*Slap*

Impossible! Sure, movies and reality don't have much in common, but it should have some bearing on-!

*Slap*

"Stop!" she shouted to buy time. "Sto-"

*Slap*

"Hey! I sai-"

*Slap*

*Slap*

"S-Stop! I beg-"

*Slap*

*Slap*

*Slap*

Thot Slayer stopped his hand just an inch away from her swollen cheek. He had no mind to further swell it as a stream of tear flowed upon it.

"Please… stop…"

He sighed and released the woman. "Now, we're even. Just don't go swinging your bat at another guy or you could end up much worse." He left her to search for another thot.

""HEY!""

Thot Slayer stopped in his track as the thots themselves came right before him. They were the thots that had tied him to a chair and beaten him alive! Now they were trying to do the same with pitchforks and torches!

"Steal!" He didn't end with just one robbed panties! So he got two robbed panties! Three robbed panties! Till none more available! "STEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL!" As the echo sunk into the sky, no one was left standing before him.

He feasted his eyes on their tears, then took their panties and took a whiff, only to revolt from it. It smelled exactly like their souls: stinky. He threw away the trash and purified himself with Eris'.

As Thot Slayer was busy indulging himself, a spear of light came down from the turbulent heaven, spreading itself for a moment of blindness. But there was no sound; it didn't root itself to render a thunder. And there was silence in her steps as well. Without so much a soft thud nor a whisper in the air, the incarnation of pure resentment came to stand behind him in dangerous proximity.

"Kazuma," said she, her voice as ghastly as that of a devil, "you have not only beaten a woman but have also stolen their panties. My judgement is you die."

He turned his head 180 degrees even before his body could follow just to provide a response, "Ok, boomer."

Silence. Another utter silence in the sky, the ground, the crowd, and the crying girls. They all gave their pause, unable to comprehend what he had just said.

But how clear was it to Wiz.

"I'm still in my twenties!" Her amplified resentment manifested into a fist of breakneck speed. It tore through the air and pounded his head! But her face fell, because the punch felt as though she had hit the air and not the skull, and she was soon proven right. The figure before her swayed and scattered like a smoke.

"I'm here."

Wiz almost gasped. No one was able to escape her radar, much less taking her exposed back. She couldn't believe her perfect record had been shattered not by a soldier nor an assassin but her own student. But most infuriating of all, he used the exclusive advantage to mock her. She turned to him with a grimace.

"I don't know, Wiz. Not a lot of people swing their arm at the empty air. I think you're having dementia."

Dementia, a disease pertaining to the decline of mental functions, often found in those of old age, which do not go well together with the title of any president neither a young woman, had just been used against her, a lawfully young woman!

Deathly gale erupted out of Wiz. Her brown eyes congested to full scarlets, and her hair whipped about, leaving whizzing cuts in the air. She crushed her hand to the point of fist and pulled it back for one brutal hit.

"Death Blow."

For the first time since his transformation, Thot Slayer lost his smirk. He no longer had the leisure to keep it as the spear of death had arrived in the blink of an eye.

*BOOM*

A brief roaring swept the field. Despite the blaring noise, everyone couldn't take their eyes off of the outcome. And they groaned in frustration, while a few sighed in relief, for Thot Slayer was still standing.

A cold sweat ran down his temple. He could only imagine what would've happened if the punch, which left such a dent on his arm, landed clean on his face. But he had no heart to be glad, not before Wiz pulling back another fist.

"Death Blow."

He managed to block it again. Though the punch put a further strain on his arms, he could endure it.

"Death Blow."

Again, he could endure it.

"Death Blow."

Only…

"Death Blow."

In the premise that…

"Death Blow."

The concept of exhaustion applied to her.

"Death Blow."

"Death Blow."

"Death Blow."

Unless…

"Death Blow."

There was a pause, followed by a surprise. None other than Wiz was surprised, even shocked. Thot Slayer, who could only defend himself, managed to do the unthinkable, the impossible! Nobody, not even her combat instructor, ever managed to dodge her signature strike. Yet here he was!

_Lucky bastard…_

A fluke, she deemed so. No other explanations could better resonate with the reality. She stuck stubbornly to that idea as she readied another strike.

"Death Blow!"

Dodged! Yet Again! By hair's breath, he had dodged! Fluke! A mere fluke! She couldn't stand on any other grounds!

"Death Blow!"

Yet her strike fell flat once again. He had dodged her in her better state, so a punch stirred in panic had no chance at all. But there was no way Wiz could accept that fact. She began in a flurry of attack in an attempt to prove her point, but none of them left a dot on its target. And, eventually, the rug was pulled out from under her towering stamina.

"How!?" she cried, heaving.

Thot Slayer stretched a smirk. "Kaioken, motherfucker."

Wiz gritted her teeth; he had mocked her yet again! She couldn't hold back herself from lashing out!

"Death Bl-!"

*Slap*

Her fist went amiss as she lost all strength and fell to the ground. She couldn't get up right away as her mind was as blank as a clean whiteboard, and her cheeks grew increasingly red. "Y-You… You...!"

Even with the countless strikes, she couldn't bring him down, yet he managed to do so with just one. But do not be mistaken. The illustrious strike had not landed on her cheek. It had landed on her boobs.

That strike was especially awakening to him, as though submerged in supreme pleasure. He felt the huge temptation in his hand to feel it again, to sink his hand into her asset, but he suppressed it. The victim of his hand must stop at Serena.

He shook the weight off his hand. "Wiz, you shouldn't beat a man just because you're triggered. I hope you learn from this." He turned back from the stammering Wiz.

"Hold on," said a masked man as he placed his hand on Thot Slayer's shoulder, stopping him, "Moi can't let you go scot-free after having made such a mess."

Thot Slayer was shocked; he couldn't detect his presence until he revealed himself. He jumped away from the masked man immediately.

"You don't have to be so wary, _Thot Slayer_. As long as you're obedient, Moi won't hurt you."

Thot Slayer wasn't inclined to believe him; promises uttered under a mask cannot be trusted no matter the good record. He readied himself. If push comes to shove, he would double his strength. But there came a whiz from behind, and, remaining true to his instinct, he dodged the knife.

The masked man caught the knife that had been aimed at him all along. "Woe is Moi… Moi is too fragile to endure such hatred."

"Cut the joke," said Wiz, not in the least humored. "He's mine."

"Huahahaha! How interesting! Moi never imagined your unfleshly heart could ever know lov-" he was cut in short as he was literally almost cut. "Fine, but you have to bear the task of disciplining him." Receiving the hostile glare from the woman, the masked man took his leave.

Thot Slayer turned to Wiz and stared at her. "We don't have to do this." His advice had been met with a knife, which was easily caught. "I'm warning you, Wiz," he said, gravely. "You won't like it if we take it any further."

Wiz had no mind for dialogue neither a compromise. All her thoughts amounted to getting revenge for what he had done to her. There was no other way to see the end of it.

She threw yet another knife.

"You fool!"

Thot Slayer deflected the knife with his hand and charged against Wiz. They soon clashed into a fit of strikes, but the balance had already tipped. She was exhausted, and no amount of will-power could right it. All her strikes never hit its target; all she could do was to hold on tight to her mouth from letting out even the softest of whimper.

Thot Slayer glared at the reckless thot… how foolish, the lot of them! He didn't want to do this, but she had crossed the line- no, she had already crossed the line many times over!

"This one is for this morning!"

*Slap*

"This one is for two days ago!"

*Slap*

"And this is for that time in the roof!"

*Slap*

"Do you still remember how you almost choked me to death!?"

*Slap*

"How about that time in your house!?"

*Slap*

"Somehow, I don't remember you ever acting like a teacher!"

*Slap*

"_Hn-!" _a tiny moan escaped Wiz's mouth. She was losing strength with each strike, but she stubbornly held onto her pride. "I was always your teacher! I've always done it to punish your misdeeds!"

"Lies!" He slapped both her boobs with both his hands. "Sure! I've done terrible things in few cases, and I feel bad for them! But most of them involved you overreacting to petty things!"

"How is cheating a petty thing!?"

"It is petty! You! You…! You…" He ground to a halt and said, "What did you just say?"

"Let me repeat! How is cheating a petty thing!? How can I stay still when you fawn over other women when you had already professed your love to me!?"

"What!?" the shriek came from the crowd. But this useless information did not matter at the moment.

"Wait… hold on a sec, I confessed? When?"

"Back in my house!"

"What!?" the same shriek came from the crowd. I had no choice but to share this useless information as the useless shriek was especially loud.

"What!?" This one came from the trash. "I don't remem…ber…" he trailed off as he came to have an idea of what she was referring to.

"What…?" And this came from Wiz. "So… you played… with me…"

"Huh?!"

"So you played with me…"

"W-W-Wait, wait, wait! Don't gather your resentment just yet! I can explain-!"

"So you played with me…!"

"I'm begging you! We don't have to fight if we just-!"

"So you played with me!"

"Oh, dam-" he was cut in short as a knife came hurtling in. He dodged, but he was instantly met with another knife; Wiz had come to cut him apart. Even so, Thot Slayer didn't lose his cool. He was confident he could dodge all her attacks, more so now that she was exhausted. Such cheeky thoughts ran in his head until he felt a sharp pain on his cheek. It didn't even take a second for his heightened senses to realize he had been cut.

"You. Will. Pay." were the words Wiz repeated in hushed tone. Nobody was able to hear it, not even Wiz as all her senses were devoted to impale him. There was nothing in this world but the loathsome man before her.

She threw her arm; the knife left a cut on his skin by his eye.

_A miss…_

She whipped her arm; the knife that was meant to take his ear only took a pinch of his bleached hair.

_Almost there… oh…_

She was disarmed. He had somehow caught her wrists and twisted them, rendering her to drop the knives.

_So what?_

She lunged forth, baring her teeth; the vicious blades sunk into his neck, bursting the first scream out of his mouth.

_Crazy bitch! _

Thot Slayer made a coherent thought, an amazing stunt to pull under the nerve-racking pain. His pointless use of his depleting brain space didn't really matter as his instinct kicked in, leading him to shove her off. However, no amount of adrenaline gave him enough strength to uproot her vengeance.

"_AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!" _another chilling scream left his mouth as her teeth dug deeper into his flesh. He was now frantic, searching for any and even the smallest thing to get him out of this. And, on the spur of the moment, a vile, capricious idea made itself eminent.

_Eureka! That's it! _

Far from the smallest thing, rather the biggest thing! Her boobs! They were the only way out of this! With no time to waste, he sent his hands onto her waist and went about a great exploration.

"_Hnn!" _

Her unrestrained moan couldn't be sweeter to his ears. With eagerness that rivals the wildfire, his hands raced up her valleys.

"_Kya!" _Wiz squealed at long last. She couldn't keep her teeth on the prize and pushed him away lest she should fall to her knees and become the very prize.

Thot Slayer finally had the room to breathe, proceeding to do just that. However, when he sent his hand to caress his neck, the truth reared its ugly head. _Oh shit…, _he thought as he stared at his wild, unruly hands. _They want more! _

The monster inside Wiz was still howling with the deepest indignation, yet her instinct protested. Even her dumb hair stretched to the rear as if suggesting to flee… flee from those terrifying hands.

Believe it or not, Thot Slayer was trying his darndest to calm his hands. That's a bit late to count as genuine effort, but he was sincere. If his life wasn't on the line, he wouldn't have broken his fresh oath to begin with. Nevertheless, the fire had been lit. Nothing but the tears of his victim could extinguish it.

"Run!" cried Thot Slayer, desperately holding back his hands that gravitated toward her enormous mass. "FUCKING RUN!"

Wiz stood dumb, baffled. She needed a moment to comprehend the sheer amount of his audacity. He was confident. Absolutely confident that he could easily catch her even if she made a run for it. Her antenna told her otherwise, but she could no longer trust it. And the sight of his jarring hands only hardened her reasoning.

Thot Slayer's face fell as Wiz readied a stance, ever more eager to put up a fight. "Are you out of your mind!? Do you want to be molested to death!?"

"Why ye- never!"

Oh boy, the one who shouldn't be here the most had come.

"I cannot believe what you have done to the girls, Kazuma! Even though you became very close to my ideal type, just short of tanned skin, I will not allow you to have your way any longer!"

Thot Slayer felt as though a hammer hit the back of his head.

"You fiend! How come you always leave me ou-! _Ehem. _How come you always commit such atrocities like they're nothing!"

He couldn't believe what this wily ass bitch was on about.

"You have found fierce might… but I will never back down no matter what you throw at me!"

That she, the one responsible for it all, had come to villainize him, all while making a hero of herself.

"What are you doing just standing there!? Come face me, NOW!"

Thot Slayer's hands came to a rest, then to a fist. He began walking, his eyes set on the biggest thot before him. He didn't care whether she had a peculiar kink. She would cry nonetheless.

"Death Blow."

Words not louder than a fluttering butterfly were buried under the wrenched wind. Her arm had wrenched it. She had emerged behind him to deliver her vengeance.

Yet how empty was his flesh…

"You asked for it."

Wiz gasped, not due to the chilling ruthlessness in his tone nor his sudden appearance behind her but the blatant grasp of her breasts.

"OOPSIE! My hands slipped!"

The term 'slip' was nowhere near enough to account for his brazen hand movements, but it was enough to describe how her knees fell. Quick and helpless.

"Do you still want to go on!? HUH!?" Thot Slayer exclaimed, his hands doubling its speed and savagery. "COME ON! TELL ME!"

Wiz bit her lip to fasten her mouth. One wrong slip would make her leak the most shameful sound. Instead of mouth, she spoke through her hands, biting his arms with her nails.

"LOUD AND CLEAR! LOUD AND FUCKING CLEAR!" His hands pulled up her boobs, raising her to her feet. It came short of knocking a yelp out of her, but it didn't stop there.

Wiz felt nervous in the stomach as her feet went off the ground. Only when she saw the sky instantly reverse did she realize what was going on. She sought every possible means of escape with what little moments she had, only to be disturbed by an obligatory, hysteric cry.

"BOOB SUPPLEX!"

With a thump, the mass of resentment dissipated, and Wiz laid bitterly cold.

"Wiz!" Darkness shrilled, genuinely horrified for her friend, yet genuinely jealous at the same time. "You monster! How could you…," she trailed off, shocked, slowly going mad at the sight before her.

Thot Slayer had fallen to his knees, breathing rather laboriously. To counter the ambush, he had to double the strength of his Kaioken, and he was now suffering the consequence. And one of the consequences involved de-transformation.

"HOW COULD YOU!" She was mad like never before as the near-ultimate manifestation of her desire vanished before she even got the tiniest taste of it.

She wasn't the only one incensed about it. The crowd, who witnessed everything, finally had the chance to execute judgement. Off with this head.

"GET HIM!"

"You will pay, you panty thief!"

"Yeah! Let's chew him out for cheating on me!"

As Kazuma calmed down, his conscience slowly surfaced, and he couldn't escape from shuddering to his bones. He closed his eyes, because the proof of his crime was too apparent; her dull, unmoving eyes stared right back at him. Enormous guilt weighed down on his shoulders. Only the fact that she had no problem with her breathing did somewhat to comfort him.

"GET UP!" Darkness cried, pulling Kazuma by the collar. "We have to escape while we still have the chance!"

The sight of her unapologetic shitface made for a good excuse. "It's all your fault! If only you haven't-!"

*Slap*

After shutting him down, Darkness lifted him up onto her shoulder. "Enough talk! We will continue this somewhere private!" She then went on a mad dash, utilizing her exceptional speed to narrowly escape the first line of executioners.

Perhaps the gods saw the trouble had passed. They released the clouds from their great burden and wrought the land to be damp. He shall be damned.

Darkness managed to pull an outstanding maneuver, evading the executioners like a snake. But the earth grew soft and soon filled with squelches. Even she couldn't keep her fast pace on the muds, and the odds of escape shrunk slimmer and slimmer.

"Can't you run faster!?" cried Kazuma, his cheeky guts apparent once again. "We'll get caught at this rate!"

"If you have the strength to shout, then use it to harass me! Punish me! Make me feel like the lowest slave so I can be rejuvenated!"

Kazuma was speechless. She was a total bitch in every sense of the word! The last thing he wanted was to do as she had told, but damn he had to live!

He sighed deeply. "Your legs are so fat they ca- kek!"

"I'm not fat!"

"…What use is there for your iron muscles if- kek!"

"I'm not hard!"

"Fat yes, damn hard you are, bitch! The fuck do you expect from me!? You think I can figure out all the subtlety and nuances of a woman? Then I wouldn't be here with a hopeless masochist like you!"

"_Hng! _D-Do not slander me! I never claimed to be a masochist!"

"OH SHUT UP!"

For better or worse, the switch in Kazuma had been flipped. His mouth was now a rapid conveyor belt of every curse on the book, acting as oil for Darkness' steamy engine. It still didn't seem they could escape, but they could surely buy more time.

Away from the shitshow of a chase, a woman sat on the muddy field with the rain over her head. She seemed detached from reality, seemingly disinterested to the chaos around her.

"He is not Katou… He is not Katou… He is not Katou… He is not…"

To be more precise, she was just too caught up in her denial.

"Lady Eris…," said Amelia, thoroughly defeated, "we have to take shelter." Despite saying so, she herself didn't seem willing to heed her own advice.

""We're ravaged. We can't get married anymore. We're ravaged. We can't get married anymore. We're ravaged…""

…Her peers didn't seem all that willing too.

There was an unusual weight in the air about them, an air of which one would not want to enter. But Vanir had to. He had a promise to fulfill after all (also, though not his taste, their gloominess was still serviceable).

"The way you are easily disillusioned is more than I can imagine," marked Vanir as he went close to Eris. "One stolen panties should be indicative enough of his aberrant nature, so why be so hopeful?"

Eris finally paused her tape and turned to look. She found the masked man with a smile in between pity and mock, then her eyes immediately caught the unconscious teacher on his back. "What happened to Ms. Wiz?"

Vanir sighed. "She overestimated her strength like she always does."

She didn't understand what he meant but didn't care enough to press on. She still had to wallow in her sorrow after all. She stood up to get it over with.

Seeing the willingness of his recipient, Vanir smiled. He took out the necklace and handed it to her. "Here is the promised necklace. Though you don't seem all that thrilled, take good care of it. There is no refund in my book."

Eris stared blankly into the amethyst dangling off his hand. The somber gem bore countless glitters, yet not a single jitter was stirred in Eris. Nevertheless, it may prove to be a good distraction. She raised her hand to take it and came very close to getting it, but a loud, piercing noise, characteristic of a mishandled mic, interrupted her.

[[LISTEN!]] cried _she. _[[I have a grave news. A big fat… small thin news…]]

For a reason unknown, purely by the so called sixth sense, Eris felt a dreadful shiver run up her spine. She turned to the panelists and found a _woman _by the vacant desk. _Her _eyes were filled with a passionate justice, burning with the thirst to topple a colossal prejudice. And they were directed straight at her.

[[There is a bold-faced liar among us. We men have been played around by her lie every single day! I came here for the sole purpose of exposing her empty front!]]

The world just became darker. Or so Eris felt. Yet her eyes were active, racing through the rainy veil, catching onto the curious gazes of the crowd, and, at last, seeking mercy with a pleading look.

But no blood can be squeezed out of a turnip.

[[ERIS PADS HER CHEST!]]

_CHEST~~~!_

_CHEST~~!_

_CHEST~!_

_CHEST~_

…

The echoing news brought shock to the crowd. Soon, a lot of them, mostly men, expressed their doubts, but they gradually came to a halt. They had no words to explain the harrowing terror in her eyes.

"H-He's lying!" she cried, desperately, but desperation and crisis weren't a good mix. Her action was as though pouring ink on her burning canvas.

"Lady Eris," said Amelia, her voice trembling, "we have to leave. We have to leave now!" She pulled Eris, but her lady wouldn't budge, not even a single step.

Her breathtaking beauty had always rooted men to their spot, polishing their eyes to reflect her splendor. Now, a poetic justice, their eyes had turned Eris to a stone. And a pull from Amelia tipped her over, falling to the ground, shattering to million pieces. If only her dress was big enough to reflect the whole stain, perhaps she could have received pity.

"YOU LIAR!"

"I can't believe you deceived us!"

"I trusted you! I even planned to confess! But pads!? PADS?!"

More and more cried their frustration, and there weren't enough hands to block them. She wished she had two more pairs… even just one more would do. She only wanted to hear less of them.

"Stop…," she whispered, tears soaking her trembling lips. Her voice gradually broke to a sob, but she wasn't even allowed to hear it. Only the downpour of curses knocked on her ears. "Then I would just be a flat-chested girl," she retorted, silently, barely holding onto her snivel. "Without them, no one will look at me... It's as if I'm only as worthy as my..." pads, she didn't say the word. The hopelessly demeaning word, she couldn't say it. She sniveled, and sniveled some more. She wondered if the clouds would do her a favor and send a lightning. She may be hit or not, but it didn't really matter. She just wanted to be deaf even if it's just for a moment.

And that wish was granted rather quickly.

"EXPLOSION!"

Mighty fire spread itself among the clouds, devouring the veil in the sky. The clouds had to retreat even further as gales swept out in all corners. Swiftly, they vanished. Now, a gaping hole had been punctured up above. There were no murky troops nearby to bar the light from spilling down onto the land. And so they cascaded, falling on top of each other, erecting a glorious pillar of light.

No one could utter a word, not even Eris as she gawked at the man standing before her. She wondered: how his golden spikes beamed under the light; how wide his back seemed; and how firm he stood against them.

The man glared fiercely at the crowds. "I was once stabbed in the back, left to rot with a broken soul," he started, his voice low but penetrating. He then beat his heart. "But! With her smile! With her touch! She breathed into me a new life!" The man continued, stretching his hand toward the sky, the pointed finger of which sparkled under the sun. "If you're gonna search for a woman, dig through the pads of pretense. Even if she turns out to be as flat as board, so long as her soul's good, then you've found the gem!" The man gritted his teeth. "Who the hell do you think she is? She's not some padded wench nor some backstabbing slut! She is Eris. Eris the thief that filled my heart!"

Eris gaped at the man. She couldn't understand half of what he said, but the raw emotion, that thrilling passion! She had no defense for that. She could only watch as it pierced deep into her chest.

And no words came from the crowds. He's right. Pads or not, it didn't really matter. What's most important is the soul, not the boobs. But one of them begged to differ.

[[Are you betraying the boobs!?]] _she _shrieked. [[Women are worthless if they're flat!]]

"Just you watch..." was all he said in return. He raised a bag and his other hand. The hand resumed its feral movement, but the man didn't seem at all faltered; he was in full control. The movement grew faster and faster to the point it didn't seem like a hand. It rather seemed like...

"The drill!" Arue exclaimed, astonished at the discovery. "I know that... I know that move! It's...!"

"It's the super-duper magic trick lost to history!" Aqua exclaimed this time, popping up just beside Arue. "Only a few writings of it remain, but I can feel it! That's the legendary technique that once shook the world!"

Super-duper technique, she said, but the man had no difficulty whatsoever in pulling the trick. He didn't even break a single sweat when his drill started making a sharp, zinging noise. Heck, sparks were flying off the thing!

The man set the drill against the bag as he eyed the crowds, especially the _woman_. He gritted his teeth without even knowing as the image of Eris flashed in his head. Shattered and broken. Many times worse than he had ever seen. He may not have the right to be, but the seething rage had been kindled within him. There was no stopping until he showed them what it means to hurt Eris.

"Ultimate move...," said the man, balefully, quickening the drill even more. "**GIGA STEAL SLAAAAAKKKEE!**" He thrusted the drill into the bag! Followed immediately by the gush of clothes! Hundreds and thousands of them flew out of the bag like debris! In an instant, the drill pierced a hole in the proverbial dam; the bag had swollen to its limit. The man brought his hand out of the bag and held the hole against the sky. Panties, panties, panties, and some bras, they burst out of it in an explosion of panorama.

The world came to a still. The oscillation of countless doves was too marvelous that a solemn, quiet admiration had to be offered.

""KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!""

Until the women cracked.

""OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!""

And the men ruptured. Looking closer to the stolen goods on the floor, there seemed to be an ample amount of wallets and currencies. But the men had no mind for it. Cash? They were trash before the panties!

The man smiled, satisfied. He held three odd things in his hand: sapphire necklace, amethyst necklace, and a peculiarly familiar eye patch. And there fell a long, golden wig in front of him.

"I get it now..."

The man turned to the voice and found the _man_.

The _man _had a warm smile, which beamed with enlightenment. "I don't need sneaky means to peek at their panties. All I need is to rob them upfront."

The man nodded.

"Hey," _he _uttered, doubtful, "do you think... do you think I can be as shameless and brazen as you?"

He pointed himself and then _him _as he said,"Believe in me who believes in you."

A surprise found its way onto _his _face, and _he _gave a genuine laugh. "I see..." _He _turned on heel and walked away.

As he watched on, a sudden groan escaped his mouth, and he fell to his knees. His transformation was shortly reverted.

"Are you alright?" said Eris, holding him by the shoulder.

"I'm alri...," Kazuma trailed off. Her face was too close that her breath was touching his lips. It was very warm, which was not surprising, considering it came from such flushed face. Kazuma wondered if he was letting out such warm breath too. His cheeks grew hot after all.

"YOU FIEND!"

A roar full of indignation broke their trance. It came from a thoroughly frustrated bitch.

"MY NECKLACE!"

A shriek startled them, and they found that it came a mask-less woman with a long, flowing blue hair.

"GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR!"

And they were shocked to find that the hysteric cry came from their principal, whose head happened to be semi-bald.

"I have to go!" Kazuma rose to his feet, only to be stopped by Eris' pull.

Eris looked up to him with a damp gaze. "Take me too...," she uttered; shyly but firmly she uttered.

Kazuma was surprised, because, before he even contemplated the absurdity of slowing himself with a companion, he had already carried her in princess. With a firm hold even.

Eris wanted to file a complaint. She never asked for this. She never asked him to jolt her heart with million watts! She stretched her arms with an intention to punish him, to wring his neck out. You lucky dumb, she whispered. No one heard it, and no neck was wringed, but embraced.

With a lighter load on his arms, Kazuma sprinted, cutting through the chaotic crowds.

"Halt, you little brat!" shouted Vanir, standing in Kazuma's way. "Don't think you can run off after causing such-" he was cut in short as an object with a blue sheen flew in his way. He caught it. "Isn't this..."

"MY NECKLACE!"

Vanir was promptly pounced by the owner. "Get off, pillock! Can't you see your boyfriend's running off with another-!"

"NECKLACE!"

Kazuma passed right by the two.

"There he goes...," said Megumin, holding onto her jogging pants. "He stole all my thunder and my panties... but man was he cool!" She heard a little groan... or was it a moan? Anyhow, she turned to her side, where Arue was on her knees with bent back and red face, while clutching her chest. "...Are you ok?"

"No...," she said, voice trembling. "He had toppled it..."

"Toppled what?"

"The tallest, the sturdiest tower in the world..."

"Huh?"

Arue tightened her clutch and whispered ever so silently, "My heart."

Kazuma was racing with all he got, but his stamina neared its depletion. By the time he crossed the school gate, he had to stop for a moment to catch his breath.

"Hey!"

The sudden call grabbed him. Turning to it, he found the Ruffian leaning on the wall.

"Howdy, hero. Need a ride?" he said as he pointed at the bicycle beside him.

Kazuma broke into a smile. "Yeah, thanks!"

"Don't mention it," he said it with a smirk.

They exchanged thumbs up, and Kazuma started the bicycle with Eris on the back seat. They rode down the road and into the town.

As they rode through the wind, Eris realized that it was empty. Her breasts that is, _they _were gone, the dress of that area fluttering too! She grabbed the closest thing to cover herself. Then she heard it.

*Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!*

It was a fast, exciting sound, which was kind of familiar too... huh... _It's his heartbeat!_ Eris pushed his back, too startled. She almost fell, but she managed to hang onto him. Let's leave out the part where she hugged him again in the process.

She thought about covering it in one arm, but she forewent the idea as it would look ridiculous. So... it couldn't be helped. All things considered, this was the only way that is both safe and effective. There was no ulterior motive behind this but a purely practical purpose. Besides, he had to compensate for stealing them.

She went on to drape herself onto his back, plunging into his warmth, wrapping herself with his heartbeats. She then buried her face on him. She couldn't show it to anyone the unrestrainable display of emotion.

After all, for once in her life, Eris was glad there was nothing in between their hearts.

* * *

And we were caught.

No amount of good luck was ever going to get me through this. This ain't Hollytree after all. But am glad, I guess. They freed me after checking my being drugged. Of course, I immediately spilled the beans that it was all Lalatina's fault. And, surprisingly, she agreed... but I knew, oh how could I not? She was secretly excited for whatever was in store for her.

Which made it all the more sweet when the men in black appeared again and freed her. The face she made after was just too good! Only... I wished they did the flash thing with my parents as well...

They kicked me out, which was only natural. A trash like me don't deserve a home.

"Sigh..."

But I couldn't help myself from being dejected. The sunset looked good nevertheless, even from the bench beside the police station.

"You shitty NEET! Why do you keep cheating!"

And here comes aqua...

"Yeah, yeah, but cheating implies we have been a couple, which we never were."

Aqua blushed, finally aware that she implied something embarrassing. She then forced herself to sneer. "My, oh my, I wonder how much mental flips you had to do to ever assume I meant it that way..."

Huh? Wait a minute, am I really the only one who-

"S-So!"

There was a tug at my sleeve, and I found that it was Eris. She held onto my sleeve while holding her head low. From the glimpses of skin I caught in between her silky hair, I deemed that she was blushing.

Eris raised her head to look at Aqua. "So you are saying that you two are not couple... and have no intention to be one?"

"H-Huh?" uttered Aqua, panicking. She seemed as though she never thought someone would ask that. Who am I kidding? I never saw this coming too. "Hah! M-Me? With a NEET? How could that ever happen!?"

The two of us went utterly speechless. I didn't mean me and Eris, but me and Aqua. We lost words before Eris' genuinely happy face, and I wasn't such a dense douche to not catch the hint.

Eris tugged again at my sleeve, while letting her silver hair veil over her eyes. "The necklace... it's mine."

I hurriedly took out the necklace out of my pocket and handed it to her, all while cursing how stupid I looked.

But she tugged at my sleeve yet again. "...Can you put it on my neck instead?"

KABOOM! Whatever that was, it exploded in my head in such a way that a MOAB could only dream of. Slowly, I went to her back and held her silver hair. Then I wondered, how the hell do I do this? I never put a necklace on anyone... yeah, there was that time with Aqua, but I basically threw it up her head.

Welp, it's a new adventure then.

Eris flinched as I put my arms over her shoulders, but she gave no further reaction. Only staying as still as a stone. I raked her hair back, pulling them over her shoulders, letting them fall down to her waist like how my heart almost fell out of its ribs.

"_Whew..._," I breathed. I needed one to calm myself.

With fresh air, coupled with her whiff, I motioned my hands around her neck, trying so hard to not touch it. And I did! Successfully wrapping her neck with the necklace! Now what? From the touch in my fingers, I realized it's a lock. A tiny, fucking lock I had to connect without a close look... Shit! My thinking was too short! What an idio-!

"...Here," Eris muttered as she raised her hair, revealing the spotless skin with a tinge of pink.

I swallowed a saliva without even knowing. I would swallow even more if it would calm my hands. But there was no more to swallow, and, despite her help, in spite of the clear view, my finger slightly brushed her neck.

Eris visibly winced, and I almost screamed. What the hell were we doing? I was just putting on a necklace, so why was it squeezing my heart so much!?

"Can't you get on already?" said Amelia annoyingly, but too distanced to properly express it. "It's distressing to see you up close with Lady Eris."

"Sh-Shut up."

I took another brea- shut up! No more breath! Just bite the bullet and be done with it! And, somehow, I managed to do it in a singly try.

"Tha-Thanks...," said Eris, wrapping her neck with the silver scarf. She turned around and still refused to look me in the eyes, not that I was capable of doing it. But I was able to see the amethyst on her chest, held in her hands. "K-Kazuma... I..."

...It's here. The time had come. Finally, after 17 years of solo life, I'm getting a girlfriend (Yami ain't counted). But... what's that noise? A weird, whimpering noise that I'm not sure how I'm familiar with... oh... it's Aqua. She's about to burst her quivering lips and pooling tears.

"You're cheating again... you're cheating again...!"

Oh, you tsundere...

"What's with that smirk!? What's so funny!?"

"Nothing. Nothing."

"You...! You stupid shutinNEET!"

"Yes, yes, I'm just a stupid shutinNEET, so don't bother me and Eris. We're quite busy at the moment. So shoo, shoo."

That did the trick. Nature's Beauty coming up.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ahh, it's a great feeling to have two girls fighting for me at the same time... should we go abroad? I heard Islam allows polygamy...

"What is going on here?" said my pet, coming out of the police station with Megumin and the men in black. "Why is Aqua and Eris pulling you from both sides?"

I looked straight into her eyes, enticing her with my brand new aura. "Lalatina mamacita, wanna join- kek!"

"Oops, sorry. It was on instinct."

I have no idea how hitting someone in the head could be done on instinct...

Lalatina sighed. "Thank you for your help as always," she said to the men in black. "But I would not need it when the time comes again."

"No problem," said one of the men in black, whose voice happened to be that of a woman. Hence, he was a she, dressing as a man. "We have no problem helping our kin's friend. So we'll help when the time comes again!"

Lalatina somehow made a face that was both happy and disappointed. "Thank you."

The men in black nodded, said their farewells to us, and walked away.

"So...," Megumin started, "where will you live now?"

"...Dunno."

I really didn't know. Wiz's home was out of the option. I didn't even know what she would do if we meet again. So Megumin? JBI. Lalatina? JBI in a different way. Then how about...

It was then that I felt another tug at my sleeve.

"If... if you have nowhere to go... do you want to live in our place?"

KABOOM! Before this particular explosion went off in my head, I replied faster than the speed of light.

"Yes please."

* * *

**Author's Note**: This is stupid... So stupid... but I can't help but like it! I embraced the fact that there is no story in my story, so why not go all out and make it the craziest thing ever? I think I went over the board like I usually do, but all's good that cracks a laugh!

I know it's cruel to hang the story at a cliff like this, so I will try to add another chapter. Don't expect it will come any sooner though.


End file.
